Well, finally managed to make it this far! The heavy debt of getting through the remaining requests has fully been paid off! With a hope without causing a disappointment or the lack of trust, there's something that I really wanted to discuss that follows within the pathway into my future. Normally, it goes along with the rambling nonsense that I've kept spilling out foolishly, but this can refer to everything that I relentlessly coped against (or tried to prove) that can affect the way to think, show, and execute in a way to put an end to this with a sweet note.~
This may be the first I'd ever effectively explain the past disasters and many reasons upon my absence. To start this up, I had to go through which I would call it as:
"Clearing up the confusion"
To start with this, I wanted to apologize, once again, for creating a ruckus that wasn't meant to be caused at first. I've attempted many times to condemn my mistakes and fix them, but sometimes it ends up being unexpected that forces me to go through them all over again. And despite the struggles I've faced in many years, I was also being vulnerable to some aspects that caused me to prematurely think which exacerbates the situation even more.
I didn't mean to worsen any thoughts and beliefs of me when it comes to a situation I have to face alone. But, I am pretty glad I made strong progress that will eventually be worth in the bitter end.
Another situation I want to mention is the delay, which I didn't mean to make, when it comes to the time of requests. I promised someone I would be able to do it, but second thoughts came in to me whispering that I've made the wrong move. As I went on with a lot of things to work on, I've persisted to think carefully whether if I had to follow with the idea to do or to ignore, which puts a lot of pressure for me with the risk of the project being taken away. Within both, it's pretty difficult to cooperate in the condition that I'm facing against. And unfortunately, I've been having a hard time making things as effective as it can be and as quickly as it can be. In the end, the time wasn't wasted within regret, but came with a gift of impression and quality. Safely to say, the requests are never to be blamed for, but only for me for the carelessness of planning ahead, making up with an excuse for not showing any steady progress, and not being sure to fulfill the goal of "making everyone smile".
No one asked me to do something more than what it should've been, but I only did it to prove myself not only as an animator, but for the artist with a pure heart.
It's always been my goal to make others smile, and I didn't mean to falsely assume not to be. Despite some contents I'm never fond with, as long as I can be able to satisfy with appropriate terms that I can do, I'm willing to create a smile that can last forever and beyond. . .
Oh, and about the "Demon's Story", well... It's never going to happen anytime soon despite of what I've gone through to hold the tale.
What will I do after?
Well, I haven't put too much of what my plans are going to be for now on, but I will say this:
Even though the path is extremely long for me to follow, I unfortunately had to leave DeviantArt for next month (June) to restructure and recover, but won't be gone for good. I will always be in touch in many I would love to appreciate and support in the future, but the present must be resolved. Even among with the devastating past that I dwell on, it's never too late to fix what's around the past for the future to come or to be. I will finally reveal the love, care, and the strength I have that can not only bring joy to any creation, but in all to support upon my return. I've learned through many mistakes and many mishaps I've felt too well. For this to finally be, the true end of the era I've faced with misconceptions and errors of a way to resolve, in which the flower will bloom to glorious colors of harmony.
I'll miss everyone... And I hope I'll see you again better and stronger and finally be able to prove what I can really be with regained trust...
...and a smile. < : )
(And expect many exciting things to appear very soon!)