It's Where My Demons Hide (Good Omens)

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Literature Text

To be honest with himself, Aziraphale could have honestly been more prepared than what he was currently going though.

It seemed (at least for a while) that he had all the time in the world, but the rhythmic cramping of his stomach isn’t letting up, no matter what speed he waddled, hands splayed on his lower back with his teeth grit and wings fluffed and tense like the rest of him.

Letting out a deep, jet like breath after the pain tapered off, he made a small noise of pain as he settled gingerly onto the edge of the hotel bed, twisting it’s crisp white sheets in his free hand as the other ran up his neck and raked though his rather damp with sweat white hair.

God, why did he choose to even do this? What did his choose this fate of all the ones he could have had? He had hated all of it, loathed it even, while at the same time he loved every second even if he knew that he wouldn’t survive.

This was all that godforsaken ruby red dickhead’s fault.

Did he have to be so irresistibly charming yet annoying at the same time? No.

DId he have to care about him, even long after the Antichrist problem was sorted? No.

Did he deserve to be abandoned due to the fact that his on again off again lover of centuries was currently pregnant with possibly one or more Nephilim and most likely in having them, would die in the process?


To Aziraphale, this was the clear cut and only answer to the last biting question slipping though his mind before the shooting pain wrapped around his back, legs and sides again, hands gripping the bed with intense strength as he moaned lowly, rocking forward and backwards of his arse as best he could for the moment.

He was glad no one was there to really experience his predicament first hand, as he had abandoned his usual two pieces long ago and now stood wings curled over his shirtless form, the bump of his stomach so large and concave now, he was surprised he hadn’t burst open.

It jutted out from the bottom of his rather seeable ribcage, smooth other than a small happy trail of white peach fuzz that snaked its way down the now extremely low slope of it, disappearing underneath the curve and nub that was now situated on top of the rather impressive dome.

For the last 6 months in Earth time, it had greeted him every morning, steadily becoming larger and larger till it had been an impossibility to see his legs or even his own two feet. It fought his clothing, it fed off his grace, it became a task to carry it around with him and worse of all, it was a reminder than he would die...and yet, he would internally say to himself as his hips grinded against his pelvis, he would do it all over again if it meant he could see his children before he passed, to selfishly see that little bit of the demon he’d left behind out of love.

“Gah…” Finally letting out a noise, albeit a small one, Aziraphale just ducked his head down as the pain did not cease like before, his body somehow elongating it to the point where his whimpers became quite loud before it finally left him, making his weakened form slide from the softness of the bed down to the staticky, rough fibrous feeling of the carpet beneath him, arms wrapped around his stomach as he just stared at it, chest and wings heaving.

He would have stayed like that, head falling back to rest on some of his upper feathers and the bed, when the door to his room suddenly flung off from it’s door frame and hinges with a wall of burning flame behind it.

Aziraphale managed to barricade himself thankfully in time, curling his wings around himself and his stomach and leaving the white feathers a bit signed while looking up in thunderstruck horror as a seething demon with yellow glowing eyes and hair as long and red as blood trails on a wall stood over him, fists clenched, a furious aura of flame flanking his sides.

“WHERE IN THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!” Crowley roared at the angel, teeth bared in anger and black wings flared menacingly behind him.


Aziraphale could take the yelling, despite flinching at first due to Crowley’s harsh words it was what he had expected really.

True to his form, the angel didn’t usually mind a bit of confrontation and the odd banter here and there. It was how he and Crowley had got started in the first place after they struck their alliance. (It was also the only way they didn’t knock each other's heads off as well)

But this, this was different.

Looking into Crowley’s eyes, he saw more than just the anger the demon had boiling under the surface, he could also see emotions he and others thought the demon wasn’t capable of.

Panic, desperation, relief... love.

If Aziraphale had time or a better choice for that moment, most likely he would have commented, apologised, begged him to understand, but it seemed his body (and fate’s fast approaching timeline) wasn’t going to get him that luxury.

For as soon as Aziraphale opened his mouth, the pain from earlier returned, his wings suddenly wrapping around himself tightly as let out a cry, curling up on himself again, eyes closed as tears tried to make their way out of them.

For a small moment, he had become lost in the pain, mind wandering rather far away from where it should have been, but he could hear someone calling him back, rather strong hands suddenly pulling at his wings in an effort to rid them from his body it seemed.

Dipping out of his haze, he saw Crowley’s panicked golden eyes close to his face, lips moving, but him unable to make up many words other than ‘fever’ and ‘angel’ and ‘injured’.

The only time he managed to snap out of it was when Crowley attempted to lift him from the floor to his feet to most likely look over him, resulting in another cry, followed by his shaky legs stumbling as a large rush of bluish yet clear metallic fluid poured from the angel down his legs, making a river of his thighs and the ground beneath him, the action making him moan loudly in both relief and pain as his head stayed down, unable to look up at Crowley out of fear.

It was dead silent for a few moments, save for Aziraphale’s sniffling and whimpering due to the pain, but suddenly, warm hands gently wrapped around his tense ones buried in his wings and breath was suddenly hot in his ear as he heard “Oh, angel…” with so much emotion behind it he had to squeeze his eyes shut again, tongue feeling like cotton he finally spoke.

“It hurts…allfather, it hurts.”

“I know, I know it hurts. It must. I can feel it.”

“ ‘m sorry…”

“Shhhh…” Crowley’s lips found a spot on Aziraphale’s temple not covered in sweat and kissed it, inhaling the underlying scent of his hair as he rocked them together; humming.

“How long?”

“I don’t know…” Aziraphale murmured as his ability to think slowly came back while the rest of him ached. “It’s been hours, days even. I don’t know, it’s just constant pain. It feels so close…”

“Then don’t hold back.” Crowley whispered intensely. “If what just happened was any indication, you can’t hurt yourself more than what you already have. Oh angel, why did you not inform me of this?”

“I don’t want to die.” Aziraphale hiccuped quietly, gripping onto the red haired demon for dear life.

“You will not die. Not now, not ever.” Crowley’s voice held malice at that thought. Granted, only a few moments ago, despite his lack of knowledge on angels and their breeding practices, he too had his fears that the angel in his arms would die, but there was no way he would acknowledge those thoughts around him. “I won’t let it happen, even if I have to go up to your ancestral home and get Mother Nature herself to keep you here.”

The statement made Aziraphale swallow, before he finally found the ability to look up, his lips finally meeting the desperate and hungry ones of the demon, the action making his body was slightly, wings lifting from his body and pulling backwards to sag behind his person as Crowley pulled back himself to look him in awe.

Gently, the long black fingernails of the demon grazed the tight bump that had taken over his body, before the actual fingers followed as lightly as they could across the skin, Crowley making a strangled noise in the best of his throat that sounded somewhere between shock and emotional before he just pulled the rather fragile angel close he could to his person, hands tracing miscellaneous shapes on the sides of the skin.

They could she stayed like this, would have stayed like this if they had their way, but Aziraphale soon felt another pain, extremely different and much stronger then the ones previously leading up to it, his legs once again threatening to give out as he yelled out, the demon catching him just in time as his legs bent underneath him.

The pain was immense and with it came another rush of the bluish clear fluid, followed by a nasty squeezing feeling that felt like his insides were being pulled from in between his legs. Unable to stand any longer. Aziraphale fell to his knees with a wail despite Crowley’s attempt to hold him up, knees folding automatically as he felt something start to move down inside of him.

Panting, when the pain finally let get back up, he was pulled towards the bed by Crowley quite quickly, the large object he’d felt moving down earlier a firm wedge now within his pelvis, his ability to walk greatly impacted as Crowley settled him in the bed just in time for the new pain to him hard, the demon having to move as Aziraphale threw himself forward, knees bending again as he bore down harder than before the mass once again moving, but only by a little.

Quietly, Crowley quickly propped all the pillows he could find in the room up behind him, before he finally rounded the bed to the bottom half of Aziraphale’s body to kneel in front of the heavily pregnant (and slowly getting more and more un-pregnant by the minute) form, hand reaching out to grip his lover’s together over Aziraphale’s stomach with his own as he spoke to him gently.

“Angel, love, I have to take your pants off.”

“Just- Ahhhhhhhh…” Aziraphale wailed as the pain returned, making him grip Crowley’s hand so hard that it had sounded like it had broken, but he’d hoped he was wrong as he felt something attempting to breach though an area in between his arse and his front parts, the burn making his eyes screw shut and his teeth to grind against their counterparts as he fought to keep it in line with everything else and was failing.

Meanwhile, Crowley couldn’t help but let a slow Cheshire Cat-like grin wash over his face as he pulled at Aziraphale’s pajamas as quickly as he could and saw a sliver of red hair poking through the new hole in Aziraphale before it yawned open to reveal delicate ivory coloured flesh and small features which then produced a slick, wet popping sound as it fully came out from the body and rested again Aziraphale’s thigh, the angel holding onto it wheezing above his head. “That’s it angel, just a little bit more, gently now…”

“Grr…” Aziraphale huffed, before he took the demon’s word and tucked his head down, cheeks becoming red due to the trapped air inside of them as the shoulders, adorned with tiny downy feathered wings appeared, before a slick sound signaled the Nephilim dropping into Crowley’s suddenly open arms, face scrunched and whimpering at the loss of it’s him before it let out a sharp wail, Crowley grinning.

“You’ve borne us a daughter, angel.”

“A daughter?” Aziraphale’s eyes darted to the demon as he passed over the small Nephilim and tucked her securely in his arms, where her cries finally seized and she stared up at him quietly with bright gray blue eyes. “Oh.”

“She is a wonder…” Crowley slid upwards from the bottom of the bed to admire both of them, clawed fingers gently tracing over the red hair that adorned her skull. Aziraphale would have preferred that would be the end of it, but not too long after the child met his arms, his still overly large stomach was squeezing again, making him groan and grit his teeth harshly as he looked up at the now confused demon.

“Take her, please.” He finally begged, holding the little one off his body as to not injure her with his grip. “I’m afraid I’m not done yet.”

Swiftly, Crowley took the infant from his arms as best he could, the Nephilim fussing a little as she was moved from her ’mother’ and placed in a nearby vanity drawer wrapped in a blanket, the look on Aziraphale’s face horrified.

“You are putting our child in a drawer!?”

“Well, this place is very inconvenient! It’s not exactly a maternity ward!”

Aziraphale would have said more, but knowing the demon was correct, he just let out a growl though his gritted teeth, hands twisting the bed sheets as his body struggled to bear a second child, stomach tight as a drum against his still drawn legs.

Crowley, thankfully, did not continue the argument either as before they could have each blinked, another skull, also adorned with bright red hair, was slowly appearing. Gently, Crowley assisted the angel in guiding the child out, the same sharp cries that had come from it’s sibling before it now loudly ringing again from a new mouth.

“Another daughter, angel. Just as stunning as the last.”

Aziraphale, now weak, tried his best to look over the bed to see the child the demon was holding, but another fierce pain made him cry out, having to drop his head again as his entire stomach shifted, the overgrown weight finally dropping like it should have before with the two as the largest mass of all filled the lower half of his body. “Ohhhhhh…”

Crowley, panicked, swiftly got up to the angel’s face , palming it with his free hand that wasn’t holding the second child and turning it up towards him.

“Hey, hey, angel. Talk to me, tell me what’s going on.”

“Ohhhh, allfather, it’s huge.” Was all Aziraphale could say before he was gone again, lungs on the verge of hyperventilating and eyes half lidded, silver tears running down his face as pitched himself forward again, trying desperately unlike before to get this last one out.

“Another one!? Allfather below, how many of them do you have in there?”

“Ohhhhh, shut up!” Aziraphale moaned, legs shaking as he struggled to push. “This is all your fault! Ask yourself how many you bloody put in there!”

“In my defense, I didn’t know this would happen!” Crowley snapped back before he quickly went back down to between his lover’s legs, only to find a surprise waiting.

“Angel, I don’t mean to alarm you…” He swallowed audibly, making Aziraphale look up in concern despite the pain he was in.

“What? What is it, demon?”

“Uh...well, it looks like you are having an egg.” Crowley’s eyebrows were raised as the white and brown speckled tip of what just had to be said object poked out again before slipping back in just as quickly.

“An...egg?” Aziraphale groaned, eyes closed in anguish. “No wonder I was so large.”

“Yes, it would certainly be a cause as to why, it quite almighty in comparison to our daughters.” Crowley gently palmed the largely deflated, but still full sphere attached to his lover. “But it needs to come out, same as they did. It’s most likely also the cause of how long you’ve been under duress for.”

“Most likely.” Aziraphale huffed, his grace drained and feeling weary all the way down to his bones, like he could fall asleep similar to humans at any moment. “Oh, but I’m so tired…” His eyes fluttered closed as he said this, the thin paleness of his normal complexion making Crowley quite alarmed.

“Oh, no you don’t. You aren’t giving up  on me yet.” Crowley shithed as he roughly pushed the angel’s legs up a little, stirring him back to wakefulness with a cry of pain. “It needs to come out, tired or not. The only time you can rest is after you are done with this.”

“But I…” Aziraphale begged, Crowley shushing him with a kiss to the forehead, yellow slitted eyes looking down on him. “You will do this, if you don’t, whatever is inside will die and so will others. Our children. Myself. You can do it. I will help you.”

The angel, panting, stared directly up at him, before swallowing, moving up a little as he felt the ache coming back. “Here it comes.”

“Push.” Crowley demanded, putting his hands on the bump before the angel followed his word, bearing down as best he could. He suddenly cried out when Crowley pushed down on the stretched skin hard, forcing the egg to slip further and further out until it was crowning out of him at its widest point, the angel begging him to stop.

“No. Again.” Was all Aziraphale got in response from the demon as he cried out, bearing down again before there was a sickening rush of fluid and the egg tumbled out, caught only by Aziraphale’s feet which had moved when his thighs closed, his body still swollen, but finally, blissfully empty.

Looking down, the angel was surprised to not only see his feet, but the large egg that had somehow gestated inside of him along with the two Nephilim slotted between his thighs.

Crowley chuckled from above him, making him look up to see the smirking demon, the two Nephilim girls wrapped in blankets within his arms. Without asking, his arms reached up and he gently took the two from him and held them against his chest in wonder as the demon mentioned something about ‘taking care of the egg’.

Soon enough, cleaned and settled, the egg in a basket wrapped in towels nearby and changed into fresh pajamas, he and the demon were curled up in a remade, clean hotel bed.

The two Nephilim (still unchristened with names just yet) were asleep on the angel’s chest, feet and hands moving quietly in their sleep and now dry wings twitching as both new parents looked on, both at eachother with a smile before looking down at the children again.

The lives were chaotic, to say the least for a while, but that wouldn’t be the end of the story.

For when Crowley casually came to the angel’s bookstore only a few months later to find him nursing a toddler boy with white hair and the similarly colored snake scales on his body, the demon could not have been more proud of the accidental family that they had made on Earth.
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Porter-Bailey's avatar
I love this so, so much. ❤️