Glad you're not dead! Don't worry you're not the only one with self-doubt, I think any real artist goes through it.
and I gave eachother a pep talk a few months ago. Guy's amazing but was down on his abilities and we talked eachother through it (I don't compare to his work though). Sorry to hear you've been depressed though.
Nice! It's good you're practicing more than anime (took me forever to get off that train and start improving faster because of it). Maybe you'll find a style you enjoy more, like I did. No shame in change. Anime is still cool but just saying, it could happen you find something you like more with experimenting.
A suggestion, try and find something small you want to learn over the next day, or even week. Give yourself a goal. And don't focus on the quality, just small improvements you make from one point to the next. I find giving goals keeps my mind busy. And if I get too hyper focused I play with something (medium, subject, ect) I'm inexperienced with and try and have fun experimenting. One day, I was too focused on how bad I am with characters, I instead looked at references and focused on painting tree textures or birds.... never done something like them so I get less agitated by it.
Anyway, I thought the advice might help. As for depression... I know that boat and it makes you even more critical of your work and life in general. I actually just got back to work after my depression and illness after 7 months. I hope you start feeling better soon. I dont' know how bad your depression is but it'll get better, though sometimes all you see is darkness. It helps to be around others and confide in someone.
Swarming you with a giant comment.... Ugh. Just excited to see you're still around... and hoping I could help a little.