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  • Listening to: infected mushroom
  • Reading: hesse
"Das Ziel ist Friede. Vielleicht bist du stark und Künstler genug - dann wirst du deine Ungenügsamkeit lieben lernen und Leben aus ihr schöpfen. Ich kann das nicht. [...]". Hesse "Freunde".
  • Listening to: lost years
  • Reading: nietzsche, childrens fairytales
  • Watching: my thoughts
it is the soul of a human to be gifted with imagination. man can not only _remember_ as animals can, but he can also 'remember' things that never happened. that is a very good picture i think. to me this is proving a point that i don't need proof for: it is the meaning of man's existence to dream and to fantazise. but also to communicate these fantasies: art. love. sharing. simply because we can.
  • Listening to: running to the edge of the world
  • Reading: kant, clever & smart
  • Watching: futurama
  • Listening to: ocean of hunger
  • Reading: heinrich mann, peter singer, kant
  • Watching: southpark
  • Drinking: whiskycoke (fair-trade-coke)…

listen to it.

(no new pictures, this update was only for that one link)
  • Listening to: The Foreboding Sense of Impending Happiness
  • Reading: Magazines
  • Watching: Southpark
  • Drinking: Orange Juice
... Deviantart. Much has been changing, some stayed the same, time flew by. I've been ill, not really bad but bad enough. I can't sing for the moment, in the third month already. I miss it. It's been a lot of work recently, everything. I'm on holiday now and I need it badly. I've been happy, really happy and free for a couple of weeks when the workload was worst and my illness getting better. There have been things reminding me of how to fear death. I didn't know that in several years now. It's been positive things. I will be more creative again soon, pressure is building up.
First I need to sleep. For some more weeks...
  • Listening to: inger on the rock
  • Reading: tolstoi: krieg und frieden
ich gebe die hoffnung auf von dem tattoo noch fotos zu bekommen, tut mir leid.

artistically i'm focussing on audio-creativism, i happen to get dragged into that deeper and deeper. i need half a year to take the amount of pictures i usually take in one month and never feel like uploading any of them. also life is acting in a way that i don't feel i could document by art now. maybe later. i'm too deep into the learning to reflect on anything happening. so visually there won't be much new for a while.
  • Listening to: antichrist superstar
  • Reading: thermodynamics, combustion theory and stuff
  • Eating: mostly pasta is keeping me alive
  • Drinking: water
i have exactly as much time to type as i cannot study anyway because i eat.


life is taking turns. unexpected ones. right now i have the strength to be happy about every one of these. especially the worst things that happened lately turned into situations that caused a lot of growth in me, making me stronger in a positive way and making me enjoy all of this. i'm getting the feeling i grew up over the past months.

all in all i'm very happy with how things are. i'm even happy with the things that are not the way i'd want them to be. there's got to be some challenge.

i study pretty hard nowadays, after last year this is definitely necessary to catch some things up. also i want to get done with it, with aachen. i want to move. in my dreams that would still be to barcelona but it's to early to think about that anyway. although i was planning to attend spanish lessons this semester but then just didn't have time left for that. i should rather learn catalonian anyway if i want to go to barcelona. but who teaches that?

well yes, besides the studies that are hard but rather interesting this semester, i am getting some things done. as i'm usually trying to. i started off a band with some guys that were still missing a singer and bass player. we're covering songs now to get started and i guess it's the right thing to do for most of us, for me anyway. i enjoy the singing very much and i'm making huge progress since i practice regularly and...loud. hell it rocks, yap!

that has got to be it for the moment, still got things to prepare for tomorrow.

i'll have a special surprise in a week or two!
  • Listening to: the silent night
  • Reading: -
  • Watching: -
  • Playing: -
  • Eating: -
  • Drinking: water
with the autumn coming up i miss last year even more than before.
  • Listening to: brilliant highlights
  • Reading: -
  • Watching: -
  • Playing: alive
  • Eating: rather no
  • Drinking: alcohol today
yes too much love will kill you
just as sure as none at all
it'll drain the power that's in you
make you plead and scream and crawl

- freddie mercury -
  • Listening to: classical music
  • Reading: das glasperlenspiel
  • Watching: a midsummernight's dream
  • Playing: at the playground
  • Eating: like god in france
  • Drinking: juice
finally having grown into what i have already been, a student of science and, more generally spoken and more importantly, a student of life, beauty, aesthetics, ornaments, i feel much better now; fitting into the shape that my life has. i don't feel at home though, there are important things missing, but that's a long story.
what's more important now is that recently i discovered what i want to be next, what i actually am growing into already. and it is: a student of maybe art but for sure in barcelona.
what started off as a stupid joke turned out to be a guiding thought that inspires me and gives me a reason to go on and try to make big steps forward.
but i will need at least two more years to finish my studies here, rather three. looking at how things have been going lately i'm looking forward to even those two or three years though and i'm glad about that. there are still changes that need to take place but i'm working on them.


eating animals??
  • Listening to: aria
  • Reading: bröderna lejonhjärta
  • Watching: the tree outside my window
  • Playing: wip3out 64
  • Eating: mixed vegetables, fried
  • Drinking: water
a glimpse of a dream. saturday noon, cologne downtown, going home by car. a rather warm day of july, sun burning, traffic going slowly from stoplight to stoplight. the air conditioning covering me in a stream of cold air, the radio playing "walking in memphis", i am watching an all white horse carriage making it's way through the cars.

i'm not the one to dream of horse carriages, that's not the point, but this situation with all the single factors playing together felt bizarre.


eating animals??
  • Listening to: esem
a theory is a piece of fiction that tries to describe reality. theories are important for us (humans) to be able to describe reality and make predictions about the future development of (some part of) reality. everybody uses theories, not just scientists or something.

theories are fiction, i want to point that out again. the truth doesn't need theories to work. the truth will just happen, it doesn't follow the "laws" our theories are. the truth doesn't follow our theories but our theories follow the truth. at least they try to. many facts are very constant and quite easy to describe, that's why we have certain theories, like (those i know as) the laws of nature, that explain why apples fall down for example. those theories fit our daily experiences so good that we use to say the apple follows the natural laws and we mean: it falls down because the law of gravitation tells things to fall down. but the truth is: the apple just does what it does, it doesn't care about what we or our theories predict or want it to do. actually (because i was just talking about that one) the law of gravitation is still being worked on because even after the corrections the relativity theory added to it the theorie doesn't fit newer observations.

i want to say a few words about how a theory can be good or bad and right or wrong.
a good theory serves its purpose good. that means if it describes reality good it is a good theory.
but a theory is a strong thing, it can influence the way of thinking of billions of people and therefor very well have an influence on reality - on the part of reality we humans form as a result of our thinking.
so, just like every single action even theories can be right or wrong because they have an influence on reality (because we use them to make decisions). usually their influence is much stronger because they cause a flood of single actions.

that means when you judge about the quality of a theory in order to decide whether to adapt it or no it's not only important that the theory is good but it also should be right. many people forget about that.

to adapt a theory means to believe in it, to believe that the predictions a theorie makes will take place no matter if you like them or no. you don't chose a theorie to be true by looking at what it predicts but by looking at if the present state of something is a logical result of the theorie used on an earlier state of the same or a more or less similar thing.

summary: in the first place a theorie has to be good, because if it's bad it is of no use at all to describe reality. and then, from all the good theories there are to explain a certain something you should chose the one which is right. if there is no such, invent one and so long use another one that is worse but keep in mind that you are working with a low-quality theorie and don't insist on the results this brings. otherwise you might later have to find out that beings died or suffered because of something your theory said was right but which wasn't.

(c) 2006 sommerstod
  • Reading: my diary
true <-> false
right <-> wrong
good <-> bad

True is everything that is.

The physical existence is true, fiction is false. That's no statement about whether fiction is right or wrong in general. You can't decide about that unless you take the purpose into account.
All things (in reality and fiction) are either right or wrong. They are right unless they are wrong.

The meaning of existence is existence. Existence can't stop existing (unless you dig into very exotic physical theories I have no clue about (I will spare that part)) so it doesn't matter what is done to it. Everything that is done to existence is right because it can't be wrong.
Everything else can be destroyed. If you want to decide whether something that is done to a subject is right or wrong you have to know what the meaning of the subject's existence is and how the action will affect the state of the subject.
Wrong to the subject is every action that opposes the subject's meaning. Everything else is right.
That means something (some action) can be right and wrong at the same time because there are things who's existence oppose the meaning of something else's existence. It depends on from who's point of view you judge.

About good and bad I'm not sure yet. I think those should be used to make a connection between a thing and the purpose it serves for. Since only intelligence can perceive something as purposeful, only intelligence can referr to something as good or bad. It's a very subjective thing.

(c) 2oo6 sommerstod
  • Reading: my diary
The truth is.

It doesn't ask for origin or a point of view or a meaning.
It is and it needs to be accepted as the one and only truth and nothing else.

Besides the truth there is nothing but fiction.

Fiction might be the meaning of the existence of thinking; The meaning thinking puts into itself. Without thoughts there is no ficition. Like living is the meaning of life because it is alive.

Is nature the whole body of existence or can only life be nature?
Does life equal nature or are dead things part of nature as well? Do dead things need the presence of life to be nature or are they nature themselves?

Is a tree part of nature?
Is man?
Is culture?
Is war?
Is a bone?
Is a stone?
Is a dead planet?
Is empty space?

What is nature?

(c) 2oo6 sommerstod