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Edit: the plans for a hotel room flopped, but I've already got another place booked. A while 3 bedroom apartment that's $500 less than the hotel room I had reserved. I have one roommate now, but I can take a bunch more. It's just a short walk away from the con center too.
Contact me if interested please 
Update June 2nd 2018:
I'm putting this one at the top so it is the first thing anyone sees.
I'm going to stop updating this journal, and make a new one later. It will be an open letter to everyone. And it will provide a ton of info. I want this ended as much as anyone else does.
But with all the info I have now, I need to address many things about both sides of this issue. It will be written sincerely so as to not provoke anything.

Meanwhile, there is one point that I want to make about Dormin, either lying or misunderstanding things... Again... 

Here's a comment I am quoting from her on the picture post:

"
Dormin-Kanna 1 day ago Hobbyist General Artist
thank you, i loved the pic aswell before all this useless drama ... now i can't truely appreciate it anymore sadly. But i glad you enjoyed it anyway!^^ And thank you very much for the support, it's really appreciated éwè. I won't bother anymore with what he said, even lying about how much coasted the pic (it wasn't 250)... Theses guys are just here to troll now, so i won't feed them.
"
It was $256 after the currency exchange was made. Two payments of 100€ each, after doing the currency exchange from Dollars to Euros, it adds up to $256 that I paid for the piece. Whether she is lying or just misinformed, she might wanna fix that and make it clear to your commenter that you provided misinformation...


My email address that goes with my PayPal was also attacked recently. I have called my provider to get as much info as I can get about the brute force attack that was attempted. I'm not going to make conclusions, but now I am concerned with some things. I won't say anymore on that issue. I need to study it before I say anything else.

Just stay tuned for the open letter.

Update #2 June 2nd 2018

I take back the last update. At the counsel of peers, both professional and friends alike, we agreed that it would be best to not go that route.

I am going to make a few statements about my plans now.

I will be blocking the crew from her forums, so they cannot disrupt my comments anymore.
Her sending her own personal army to fight for her is wrong and disingenuous.

I will not be blocking Dormin however, because this is her fight, not a fight for her to send others to fight for her.

Dormin has gone through my comments here and asks everyone to note her about the true story. And I want to tell you do not note her privately. She will use the privacy to tell you things that are untrue, and be able to get away with it in an environment that I cannot see.
If you want to engage with me or Dormin, please do so publicly and politely. That way both sides can see these exchanges, and they are not kept away from criticism.

If you ask me something in my comments in a civil manner, clear of bias, and exhibiting genuine curiosity to the story of what is happening, then I will be more than happy to answer. I will give you screenshots and anything you ask for, as long as it relates to this dilemma. Because I have nothing to hide here.
If you ask Dormin in the same way, I expect the same of her.

And my last message…
Knock it off Dormin. I’m very aware of the games you are playing now.

To anyone reading this… treat this journal as a review of services I paid a lot of money for.
Thank you
_________________
About a week ago I made a journal post about how I commissioned an artist for a piece worth $250 and had the whole experience go South. This is the very first time I have ever had an issue with an artist, and hundreds of positive experiences with other artists I have paid show that I have a good record.
Long story short, I contacted an artist in March, Dormin-Kanna, about doing an innocent Tanabata piece of my ship. She gladly accepted it, and was very friendly, as expected.
I had a lot of small talk with her on Discord, never once implying or hinting that I wanted anything besides art from her. 

Of course, with me doing small talk I intend to forge friendships, because many times I will commission the same artist more than once, and I would like to stay on a good boat with artists because they are the service providers.
I oftentimes share artwork I commission with others on Discord, but I am wary of who likes what and who doesn't like other things, so I share safe for work artwork I get with most people. 
So I shared a piece I commissioned with Dormin (Picture below)
Real Snuggle Hours by SoMA-To-FoRM
She goes off on a weird rant about canon x oc, and I've heard all of that before. But she was hinting that this image had sexual implications. 
Her very first reply was "Is this clop?", to which I said it isn't. The picture was shared on Equestria Daily two days in a row, and then tagged as 'Safe' on Derpibooru, so there is absolutely no suggestive theme or sexual implications with this picture.
Dormin thought otherwise.
I stopped communicating with her for two weeks because I was concerned with how she took that picture. 
So then after how she pretty much shamed me for having a canon x oc ship, I went back and politely asked for a refund, which was denied. She pointed to her terms and conditions, where it said "No refunds".
I admit I had a hard time finding that clause in her terms, because it's super messy and confusing, but it does say that. 
In the same message asking for the refund, I mention that I was not comfortable with her doing it anymore because she had shamed me for what I like. 

She took that the wrong way of course, and that's when I became even more concerned with the conclusions she was jumping to.
She asked why I wasn't comfortable with her doing the work anymore, and jumped to saying "Because I'm not into clop?", "Because I didn't talk dirty with you?".
And I quickly became scared of how quickly that escalated. I knew I had done nothing wrong, but she was taking things out of context and applying her own reality to the situation.
I called her deceptive and a liar then, because of the things she had just said to me, and removed her from Discord so she could not go on a longer hysterical rant about how I am somehow a creep.


The entire chat is logged, and because I have nothing to hide, here is the chat log from start to where I called her a liar:
1drv.ms/w/s!Ak_KSjIddS1UhWvr26…

I had no idea how to make sense of the conclusions she jumped to. I talked to multiple French artists that speak better English than her, and they said there was nothing that could have truly been taken as perverted or creepy. So I was lost on what to think.

But then one of the people I messaged notified me and said that Dormin had posted screenshots of our spat onto her personal Facebook page, and people were dragging me in the dirt through the comments, as was the artist. She did not censor my name on the posts, so they could be tied to me where a mob could come and harass me for things I did not do. I kept in contact with my French friends to see what was going on. She said I was pissed because she didn't want to be a "Participant" in my ship, and again, I never implied or wanted that from her. I just wanted some innocent artwork done by her, and to not be shamed for what I like. She called the image above "Soft clop" because their pelvises are touching. Which is objectively very wrong, and she spread misinformation with that thought. 

Dormin Facebook Post By Breioom-dcb9kgi (1) by SoMA-To-FoRM

She said things like "Get on the ground" in reference to me on how I should get on my knees and apologize to her somehow, and I wasn't gonna have that. 
Still communicating with my French acquaintances, it was clear that there were miscommunications of both of our parts. But the fact that my privacy and trust was breached was a huge wrongdoing to me.
She took things that I said and shared out of context and then twisted it either maliciously or unknowingly into some bad mischaracterization of me. And with her post, was spreading misinformation about me and slandering my name.

Eventually, I got to messaging her because she was talking about how she needed to talk to figure things out, even though she had already reached very wrong conclusions.
I said there were obvious misunderstandings that we had, but I confronted her about the posts and how they breached my privacy and trust. Also told her to stop reaching such nonsense conclusions about all that had happened. She agreed that she should have censored her posts so it could not be tied to me, but it was too late for that. 

Before all of this happened, I was going to let her do the artwork and suck it up. But since it had happened, I pushed to get my money back from Paypal. It was the very first time I have ever initiated a chargeback from Paypal, so I had no clue what I was doing. In the end, I filed it as a suspicious charge, even though it was not one. My mistake, I will admit that. After talking to Dormin more I told her why I had done all that I did, then called Paypal and told them to cancel the dispute because it would not go in my favor in the end. The dispute was canceled, and then I traveled to the bank to see if they could help me reverse the charge on a "No item shipped" clause. They could not reverse the charge because I did not check the option for buyers protection from Paypal, and because it was an international transaction there was nothing that could be done.
So I accepted that and then made an agreement with Dormin.
Here is a screenshot of that agreement
Untitled by SoMA-To-FoRM
If that wasn't the most peaceful and polite departure from the conflict ever then I don't know what peace is.

Everything was done now, except for her making a public statement apologizing for all of this. And this is why I am posting again. 
The Paypal Dispute has been rewarded back to her and has been for more than a few days now. Still no apology post. 
My friends that are watching her Facebook for the posts have not informed me of it, and only that she is sharing posts from various pages on Facebook. 
So it is obvious that she has been around spending time on Facebook, and not doing what she agreed to do. 

There is one thing I want to point out now after noticing it on her Deviantart page.
She changed her rules for commissioners to include that she does not have time for small talk. Which is obviously in reference to this whole dilemma. 
Personally, I would have been completely fine if she had just said to me "I am sorry, I do not want to have small talk with you. I would just like it if you messaged me if it only pertains to the work I am doing for you.". 
That did not happen though, and now she has added that clause in like the problem was not with her, but with me. None of this would have happened if she had stated that she did not want small talk. 
But of course, the fact that very early on in our interactions she said "You re very nice thank you ^^", meaning that we were both investing trust into each other as a service provider and a client. 
Like an insurance agent is someone you would want to stay on good terms with and communicate, I treat artists I commission the same way. 

But somehow this all happened, and now I am biting $250 for artwork I don't want anymore. I do not care about the refund or the artwork any longer, only that I have been wronged immensely, and that she broke the agreement to make a post apologizing for her false statements. 
I am just victim now to her unfair practices, and I know there is nothing I can do about it anymore. The artwork is still not done at the time of this journal post, just want to make note of that too. 
So this post is just to serve as a warning and a statement about Dormin's unfair practices and bad character. 

I will not be deleting this journal, even if she issues the apology after it is posted. The damage has already been done to me, and it may be too late to reverse that. 

Now I would like to thank everyone that helped me with this situation. My French friends and everyone else that helped me try to make sense of it.
I owe you all something in return.

Update: May 30th, 2018
Someone tipped me off to her Furaffinity page which is full of nsfw content that she drew.
And holy crap the sense of this woman. She is mental.
I archived her page so she can't go back and delete things. But I am amazed at the hypocrisy now.
Shaming me for something I NEVER asked of her, but doing nsfw content despite her discomfort with the topic.
To be fair, she probably just has a problem with canon x oc nsfw, which is okay. But I did not ask her to do nsfw. She has judged me unfairly, spread misinformation by stretching the truth, and failed to apologize for it after she agreed to.
God damn this pisses me off.

Here is her gallery. Be warned, its full of nsfw
www.furaffinity.net/gallery/ka…
And here is an archive of her gallery if she decides to go and clean it
web.archive.org/web/2015041610…

Update: May 31st 2018
Since they're pushing back finally, calling me a liar somehow, and that I'm overreacting, here's the rest of the screens of her Facebook posts.

drive.google.com/folderview?id…

We can all judge for ourselves now.

And here is a journal a friend wrote about the ethics and etiquette between an artist and commissioner.
the commissioner and the artistOk- I have been in the art world for about 11 years. Maybe taking commissions for like 5. I have recently been seeing a lot of bad behavior lately and guys- I am a very opinionated person (I get it from my mom). So I just want to straighten out a few things. Tell you guys what I think.
The artist- You are being hired, your client won't always be right but at the same time your reputation is important. So here are some tips and tricks.
- be courteous right from the beginning, even if a client comes to you in a rude way you represent your brand (which is your art). If someone is rude, that's fine. politely tell them you do not wish to work with them and your sorry. Easy peazy.
-communicate with your client before you take any money. Make sure you know what you want and what you are comfortable with. If you are uncomfortable with the type of commission  your client wants, you have two options. You don't take the money or you don't voice your discomfort and bite your ton


UPDATE #2 May 31st 2018
This is amazing. She's trying to paint me as a scammer from an interaction I had with a previous scammer. 
Woop by SoMA-To-FoRM
The comments are still there. Go read it before she edits things again, I already caught her doing it trying to hide things.
Wat 2 by SoMA-To-FoRM
Highlighted the comment she edited, where she shared a screenshot from Discord that was again... taken out of context.
i.imgur.com/LuVo0zo.png

I NEVER SENT anyone to harass her or lie on my behalf, an acquaintance of mine tipped me to the screenshots SHE POSTED, and I did not have the full picture then of what was going on. I was still figuring it out. I did not ask this acquaintance to do ANYTHING, he did it out of his own will. I am grateful for this person, because he gave me info that eventually led to the picture becoming clear with what was happening. 

Update #3 May 31st 2018
This will likely be the last update I put out unless I really have to.

Everyone, if you read through my journal, all of my cards are on the table. There is a link to a word document that has the entire chat log from March 3rd to when I called her a liar and that she was deceptive. Read that if you want the true context to all of this. 
Whether or not you agree with the points I am making, I don't care. You can read everything there, and then everything she has said and then make your own conclusions.

Dormin has her own journal and post about this situation now, and its got quite a few things off. 
First thing, I never implied she was a whore or anything. I don't know where that came from. Don't put words in my mouth because you don't understand what I am saying. I will say she is extremely prudish, which is the opposite of being a whore really. The whole point of me pointing out her nsfw content was to say that my content was so much more tame than anything I saw in that gallery, and yet she still chose to be offended by it. 

Second, I never misbehaved with an artist before this. Her saying so is false, and she is completely misunderstanding the context of the journal posts that I shared. Long story short, there was a spat I had with a scammer. I cut away from this person before I knew what he had done. When someone else made a beware post about him, he became very hostile and aggressive. So, in retaliation to the artist that posted the beware, he demanded that the journal be removed from the Discord servers, and said it was very unfair. When that did not work, he messaged admins of each Discord server telling them a sob story, but the admins did not listen to him. So he went to other admins and changed the story, which then they decided to ban him from two separate Discord servers. When I woke up that morning I was amazed to find this journal that the artist posted as a beware, because I had literally cut away from him a day prior, and I added my two cents into the comments there. 
So the scammer then decides to target me with fraudulent claims. I stood my ground against him as well. Later on this scammer made his own journal post where he skirted the entire issue of what he had done, lied about being 'honorable' and then hid comments on specific places and complained that others were censoring him. He also targeted a friend of mine and claimed that her boyfriend was a pedophile, which was a debunked claim, and had been for a very long time. Not a very short story now eh? It is so much more complicated than just this. There are dozens of others that would repeat this exact thing, so her clinging to this talking point is ridiculous. 
Here is a statement from the artist that was scammed clarifying that I in no way got myself into trouble with an artist I paid:
Backup by SoMA-To-FoRM

Third, there are no lies in here. Misunderstandings and such, yes. But no lies. I wrote this journal to be as objective as possible. If there is any bad info, its because new info came up to replace it, and I have not bothered to go through and revise everything for one small piece of the puzzle.

Fourth, I do not know whether her misunderstandings now about me calling her a whore, or the deal with the scammer are because of malicious intent or genuine confusion on their part. I have some very clear translations of French to English thanks to good friends. But the other way around, where they are translating English to French, I do not know of. If this is the case, then it is their problem to resolve. Get accurate English to French translations, and then figure out where the misunderstandings are. Google translate is not perfect, don't rely on it solely.

I'm gonna end it with one thing I talked about with some friends.

Imagine you go to a car dealership and purchase a car from a representative. The deal was fair and all, and everything was agreed upon. But later on you run into this dealer and have a small talk, and say your favorite car is 'X'. Then they proceed to say car 'X' is shit, and blatantly offending you in the process. Instead of them saying "I disagree" and then saying that they would not like to continue the conversation, they go on a rant about how your tastes are wrong.
You leave after being confused and hurt, and then complain to the service providers about their representative's behavior. In a professional environment, that rep would be scolded and in trouble. And then later in you find that they make a private post online saying you're an idiot for what you think and yada yada. 

There are hundreds of examples I can give of this kind of behavior biting someone back in the ass, so I will leave an example of one.
www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2016…

Here is a guy saying he was glad that the fires in Gatlinburg Tennessee killed 14 people a few years ago. He worked for a company that I actually do a lot of business with, and was rightfully fired for his post. It came pretty swiftly, and I do not blame Express Oil Change for their decision. Someone with ethics like that should not be allowed to represent a company and their services. 

So despite her post being private, it could have still had very real and serious consequences for me, and for her. 

Anyways, I want to thank everyone that has supported me through this and can see through Dormin's obvious BS.
The support has been overwhelming, and I am honestly at a loss of words to say. Thanks everyone. 

Keep in mind that you should stay calm and patient if you are getting involved with this. I do not want malicious behavior between the two sides. Please read everything accordingly and be civil.

Update June 1st 2018
Oh man do I have some very juicy info now.
I am overjoyed to find out that I am not the only one she has bullshitted, and someone came forward with some stuff she has pulled on them.
Lmao by SoMA-To-FoRM
Lmao by SoMA-To-FoRM
Lmao by SoMA-To-FoRM
Adwaw by SoMA-To-FoRM
This just proves I have no reason to reply to all her mindless drones in my comments. 
She's pulling the classic French stereotype and waving a white flag like she's the victim when she isn't. 

>Picture related, someone sent me this meme on Discord, I laughed:
media.discordapp.net/attachmen…
I have reached an agreement with Dormin in a civil manner, as I could not request a refund with the way I did settings on Paypal. 
As promised I deleted my journal about this, and in turn she will make an apology and statement on Facebook to clear things up.

Sorry to everyone that got involved. I can't say I am happy with the outcome, and how I have been wronged, but I cannot do anything about it anymore.

It's just obvious to me that happy clients are not her goal, but just to make money. Her terms of services are only there to protect her from backlash over her own unfair practices.

If you want context to go with this journal, go here:
Commission Blacklist + People To AvoidUpdate 11/20/2017: This journal is to both alert artists to scammers or rude people so they may avoid dealing with trash, and also to help me keep track of who I absolutely don't ever want to deal with. Names, reasons, and proof follow.
Update 1/8/2018: This list will now include people who I and others should avoid for any reason, at all costs. This is to protect myself and you who reads this.
It should go without saying, please do not harass these people. That only brings you down to their level.
Update 5/11/2018: Removed the journal skin to improve visibility.
Dormin-Kanna - Unprofessional. Disappointingly rude. Distrustful, no concern for privacy, and spreads misinformation- only sees things her way. She cares about money, not about you.
Her post on Facebook (I blurred the names because she failed to do so, carelessly):

A translation from a mutual Facebook friend between the offender and offended:

Been a while since I have done one of these.
To be elligible you must be one of the 571 watchers I have now, any new ones after this journal is posted cannot enter.

All you must do is comment on this journal and I will assign a number. After a month I will use an RNG to pick a winner.

If enough people enter there may be a bonus giveaway.

Have a good day everyone.

Screenshot-www.random.org-2018.03.23-23-10-46 by SoMA-To-FoRM
The number generator chose number 10 as the winner, so ElskaFox gets $50

Now there is a bonus drawing for the remaining 22 people that entered. One week from today I will do another drawing, but this time for $25

I had to scrap the second drawing due to a surprise $400 tuition fee for school. Sorry everyone ^^;
The next time I do a giveaway I'll make it worth it.
Well... Since I missed last year's, I figure I'll go to this years Bronycon.

If anyone wants to get a room together or something let me know. Or if someone already has arrangements and has room for one more that's cool too.
I've been wanting to get a picture of a home interior that I dreamt of a while back. 

It's extremely baroque, and I would love to have a picture of it to be able to say "I dreamt of this home one time."

And it's not an impossible design either. Just very unconventional and unique.

If anyone can do these kinds of drawings, let me know please.
Or if you know someone that can, please point me to them.
Update: I got word that the individual has been officially banned. I couldn't be any more pleased with the news. To those going, have a fun and safe con. 

There is someone that will be attending that is a self-described pedophile and zoophile that will be attending there, and despite the con staff being told of his intent to attend, they do not seem to be doing much to prevent him coming. 
This person goes by the name Rome Silvanus, and he will be there. The con staff has said that they want to ban him but cannot without his real name.

He has videos online of himself screwing horses and other animals, and he's just all around wrong. He even revels in the fact that he is terrible and uses the negative attention to boost his ego.
If you want proof of the con staff being aware then here is a screenshot I was given a few weeks ago. They acknowledge that they have seen some of the disgusting things he has on the net.
1 by SoMA-To-FoRM

The blurred part is there to protect the identity of the person that sent me this. 
It is basically them joking about this person not being allowed to bring underage girls to the room.
Which then he replied "Then I will bring underage boys instead."

I find it hilarious that this is making its rounds now. 
Long story short, someone I used to be friends with befriended this pedo loser, and I wasn't happy about it. He started to associate with them and then they just became all-around toxic. So I burned that bridge.
Now this person is a guest of honor at Nightmare Nights Dallas, and he has invited Rome to the con so they can do dumb shit to laugh at him for.

I find this disgusting, and dangerous to the kids attending the con. If you are a guest of honor to a con, then treat the con staff with HONOR and grace them with your presence. Don't abuse their generosity and invite some scumbag like that. 
And that's all I have to say.


If you are going, be on the lookout for this guy, and stay away.
Spread the word please. I don't want this guy around my friends at the con or any kids that will be attending.
Well, I've completed enough of my school now to be considered a sophomore in college. It's the furthest I've ever gotten so far, all my past endeavors with college fell flat shortly after starting. 

I still have a 3.9 GPA and made Dean's list 4 times. And now I have A+ certification, so I can potentially quit my retail job and work as a computer technician somewhere in town. 

Can't wait to finish honestly... I want some new high paying work at this point
  • Listening to: Casimir Pulaski Day
  • Watching: Into the Wild
This applies to only my current watchers. My count is at 523, so only these ones are elligible.

A commission of mine was refunded, so I'm going to make it a giveaway.

To be put in the drawing pool to possibly win it, just comment on this journal. 
In 3 weeks I'll pick a winner.

As for Bronycon, I lost my carpooling group so I don't know if I can make it anymore. I want to, but I'm also down a room now. If anyone has a room that I could share that'd help out. I just need to find a cheap flight in that case.
  • Listening to: Casimir Pulaski Day
  • Watching: Into the Wild
I'm going to reconsider Bronycon this year only. Make it the very last con I attend.
Since Babscon is kinda a fringe pony con, one that doesn't get as many attendees as BC, then it would be unfair to those few people that wanted to see me at Bronycon this year.

I have a $100 flight voucher, and it would be too good to waste by not going anywhere with it. 

But as long as I can eat dinner without being forgotten or left behind while the rest go eat, then I will attend BC all three days. 

...I just hope people won't let me down like they usually do...
  • Listening to: Casimir Pulaski Day
  • Watching: Into the Wild
The way everything is just a breeze now has really weighed on me for a few days.

School is way easier than I thought it would be, and makes my past attempts at college look embarrassing... 
I was in and out of school for the past 5 years, because anxiety and other things weighed me down. But now it's just so simple that I laugh at that whole experience. 

I just hope that things don't go all crashing down in one day like they have in the past. 

Now with socially useless conventions out of my future plans I will be going places. The first on my list will be Flathead Lake in Montana. A glacial lake filled with Crystal clear water, as it has no oxygen in it. Therefore, nothing lives in it. After that, the grand canyon. Other places I'll figure out later.

At the rate things are going now though, I should be right where I want to be in just a few years.
Which is somewhere way far away from anyone I know already. Someplace where I can consign myself away to living the life of a Crumb. 
It may sound odd... But I always imagined myself being a reclusive and isolated person when I was younger. 

And when I was stuck in my rut over the past few years, I strayed from that image greatly. I thought I wanted to get a job somewhere and work enough to where I could create something that everyone would love to be a part of. I wanted to be a part of something bigger than just myself and make my mark on the world.

But now, after recovering and getting back to school, I've found that the old interpretation has resurfaced...

I still want to make something that will leave my mark on the world now, and I already know exactly what it is I'm going to do... 
Just that when it's done, I don't want anyone knowing it was I that created it and set it into motion...

I guess it's kinda like Dr. Seuss. He loved kids and others, but he was so afraid of being around them because what they imagined him to be and what he actually was would have disappointed them.

Blah blah blah... I'm ranting and raving about my personal nonsense. No one will really question anything, or ask anything about what the hell I mean. 
... Things have just been rough, and a bit turbulent lately, and this is my way of dealing with it.
  • Listening to: Casimir Pulaski Day
  • Watching: Into the Wild
I've grown to feel so out of place at them now. And it just feels like a waste of money that I go to them and don't do anything besides scour the vendors for stuff.

I like going to meet friends at them of course, but even that feels weird now. 
It feels like people somehow get super eager to see me in person, then somehow I come off as stale or disappointing, or the other online first impression still has them convinced on other things.

I've spent a lot of time thinking of things, internal things. 
And I realize maybe I'm not the most memorable character that people think of, so it's lead me to think that going to cons would spare me the annoyance of having someone be ecstatic to meet me, and then throw me to the back of the line once I'm gone. 

It's kinda time for that to happen too I guess. 
Time to move on from certain things and find myself, if there's anything to find there. If I'm honest I always feel like I'm piecing together a jigsaw of what I am, and no matter what it never comes together. Whether it be pieces missing from it, or a faulty image I have of myself, I don't know just yet.

School is probably my biggest goal at the moment now. And conventions, I don't care much for them anymore.
I'll plan trips to new places on my own now, and maybe find pieces of myself on any travels I take.

Sorry to really be sappy or depressing here, it's been a long time since I've vented anything. 
And I'm also sorry to anyone that was hoping to see me at future cons. Bronycon isn't on my plans this year any longer. It will take some serious convincing to get me back on board with that.

But anyways, this is life. I've got myself to figure out, that's what I'll be doing from now on.
  • Listening to: Casimir Pulaski Day
  • Watching: Into the Wild
It is finally time to announce that since I just hit 500 watchers.

Unfortunately, due to the whole car incident, I will have to delay the contest for a month or two until I can rebuild the old engine and then sell it off as a remanufactured one. 
The contests will also be split regarding when they are done too. 

I will post a poll on which one should be done first, the art or writing one. And then once I have the money back to hold the contest, I will post an announcement and then give the critical details.

Here are the details I have for each contest now:
500 Watcher Contest DetailsNot there yet, but I want to go ahead and lay out the groundwork of how it will work.
There will be two seperate contests, one for writing and one for artwork. 
Each contest will have 2 prizes. A grand prize of $100, and the runner up will get a commission from someone. I've got to work out the latter prizes with someone.
The topic will be with Silent Flight on both contests.
For artwork the focus will be a bit more broad than the writing contest.
Now, in the end that's two people that'll get $100 each, and two other runner ups will get a picture from someone.
Because I don't believe in getting things without giving back there will also be a participation gift for anyone that enters. I'll have to work that out somehow. It'll likely be a point giveaway, so if anyone could donate points to ease my wallet with that it would help a lot.
Which this is also the reason it's not Constance and AJ. I don't want a ton of ship art when most of the people making it won't get anything in return

Make note that journal is a few months old. The final journal concerning everything will be posted after multiple announcements leading up to it.

I hope I didn't disappoint anyone. Life happened quick last month, and I'm a bit behind financially. 
But it will happen soon enough.

Thanks for the watches everybody ^^
  • Listening to: To be Alone With You
  • Watching: Into the Wild
Those two are on the schedule for this year.
But I admit I'm a bit on the fence about going to them at this point.

I want to go to see friends and hang out with people, but there's also a few people I'd rather not run into ever again.
One in particular, was a friend who threw me under because I couldn't play an online game up to his standard, and pretty much called me stupid because of a small mistake I made in game... 
There are others I won't mention here.

Of course the biggest reason I want to go overall would be the trip back to Big Sur. When I went last year I was amazed with the sights, so I want to go back to it again.
I'll just have to see how I feel about it as it gets closer. That trip is already paid for anyways.

On the more personal side of things, eh, its been a little rough here lately.
Work and school are the drain as usual, but the extra car work has been extra taxing. Got to replace the whole engine on it.
So it is around that time that I need a weekend off or a small trip for myself to regain my composure, and I'm not sure when I'll get that break.

All around bleh... There's not much more I can say.
  • Listening to: To be Alone With You
  • Watching: Into the Wild
I got tagged by Topas-Art to give 10 facts about my character/characters

So why not do 5 each, five for Constance, and five for Silent Flight.

Constance Everheart
Who Knows What Could be in This Hat by SoMA-To-FoRM

1. Constance isn't really an OC that I consciously designed. He was the appearance I took in pony dreams that I had years back. I never had a cutie mark in them, I just know I was a pale earth pony with blue eyes and a blue mane. It's kinda been a while since I've had a pony dream, I think since my life turned around they stopped becoming as common as they were. They were always a massive relief when they happened.

2. His cutie mark is actually representative of a fruit. Although not a tangible one. The mark is a sigil that represents the facets of one fruit in particular, but I won't mention it here. You'll have to find out on your own. Ask me and I'll give you hints =p

3. He grew up in an isolated village on the edge of the everfree forest. The village itself was very reclusive, keeping out of other town's and city's affairs. The inhabitants were quite xenophobic about ponies on the outside, and leaving it was highly frowned upon. Constance didn't like being forbidden from leaving it, so he left it one day after an argument with his family.

4. Silent Flight convinced him that the world outside the village wasn't all that bad as everyone else had told him, and without interaction with Silent he never would have left. After Constance's departure, Silent made sure that Constance never ran into any extreme trouble. Once Constance had arrived in Ponyville, Silent helped build Constance's esteem up to where he could go and find a job. Eventually he ended up doing contractor work for a business. 

5. Anxiety plagues Constance to no end. He's easily upset by things going wrong, but when he has a reason to be happy he can light up the world around him. He's very kind and compassionate but knows he cannot save everything that he wants to. This also leaves him open to manipulation from others, a mistake he constantly has to deal with. He met AJ at a party that he was invited to by a friend, with him being anxious he didn't feel like dancing, so he went outside. AJ was already there, and that's how they met.

Silent Flight
With Wings Like These by SoMA-To-FoRM

1. Silent Flight is a hippogriff based off the color scheme of a barn owl. They're my favorite birds, so I wanted to design a character themed off of one. Just like an owl, he possesses a strong sense of hearing, and can fly in virtual silence. 

2. He had a lover years ago, a unicorn mare named "Valencia Equi" (If you can spot the wordplay you get a cookie). She specialized in healing and glamor magic. She happened upon Silent one day while he was asleep in a tree, thought he was handsome. So she cast a glamor on herself to take the appearance of a hippogriff to get close to him. Silent is usually very reserved, but Valencia's personality is like a perfect counter to his and could get him to open up easily. Of course Silent found out that she was just a unicorn disguised as a hippogriff, but he had already opened up to her and made himself vulnerable, so he brought himself to be able to trust her. They bonded over the course of a few months. She was a balance to his life which he has mostly lived alone apart from growing up with his family. But one day Valencia decided she wanted to surprise Silent by permanently taking the appearance of a hippogriff. Her spell was a powerful one, and it did not work according to her plan. It left her in an unrecognizable form, injured and unable to call for help she passed away after a few hours in the state she got herself in. Silent found her eventually, and well, this part could go on for a while. You get the idea.

3. His mask is a keepsake, it is made from Valencia's ashes. It's his way of always having her around even when she is gone.

4. After a period of grieving, Silent joined a branch of the Royal Guard whose jobs were centered around gathering intel and scouting. Later he would move forward in the ranks to where he would be a spy for tasks given by his superiors. It was through his scouting missions that he discovered the village that Constance was from. He reported the village as very isolated, with orchards of white apples and ponds where the fish would glow in the dark. Curiosity brought him back to the orchard full of white apples one night where he met Constance. It was there that Constance learned of the world outside his village. 

5. Being a spy and a part of the Royal Guard, the job does come with some extreme action. Silent never wants to bring death upon another, but he realizes that some jobs may require it. Instead of outright killing, he will usually injure his target and extract them from the location and back to home base. He could be a ruthlessly efficient killer but chooses not to become so.

________________________________________________________________________

Both of my OC's are pretty much projections of my personality over the years. 
Constance is how I was back in the broken days when my head was full of turmoil and I was just downright sad all the time.

Silent is how I have become after moving on from past tragedies and mishaps. 

Anyways, thats about all I have to say about them. Hopefully someone finds them interesting.
Won't be tagging anyone. If you wanna do this just steal it and tag me in it.
  • Listening to: To be Alone With You
  • Watching: the Man on the Moon
Not there yet, but I want to go ahead and lay out the groundwork of how it will work.

There will be two seperate contests, one for writing and one for artwork. 

Each contest will have 2 prizes. A grand prize of $100, and the runner up will get a commission from someone. I've got to work out the latter prizes with someone.

The topic will be with Silent Flight on both contests.
For artwork the focus will be a bit more broad than the writing contest.

Now, in the end that's two people that'll get $100 each, and two other runner ups will get a picture from someone.

Because I don't believe in getting things without giving back there will also be a participation gift for anyone that enters. I'll have to work that out somehow. It'll likely be a point giveaway, so if anyone could donate points to ease my wallet with that it would help a lot.
Which this is also the reason it's not Constance and AJ. I don't want a ton of ship art when most of the people making it won't get anything in return. 

The contest won't start until I get 500 watchers, that could hit any time. 
And the deadline will be a good while, so I can get things organized for when it's done.

Rules:
Everyone is elligible to enter, watcher or not.

No erotic or explicit NSFW content will be accepted, or tolerated. Minor blood and other things are okay, intense gore will not be okay.




Thanks everybody
Looking forward to reaching that point.
Share this journal anywhere if you'd like, more participants the better.
  • Listening to: To be Alone With You
  • Watching: the Man on the Moon
So that finally happened

Here's the scoop
$25 PayPal credit

One person gets it.

This Thursday I will post a status that has the info to enter it.
Will be drawn on New Years

And the only ones eligible are the 405 watchers that I currently have.

Next giveaway will be at 500, but that will be a contest with Silent Flight.

Stay frosty

  • Listening to: To be Alone With You
  • Watching: the Man on the Moon

Its not the end of the world my goodness.

I get that a lot of people are upset, but this does not warrant such malicious conduct.

There's a ton of incredible deception going around about "What will happen"
So here's a bit of a disclaimer....

He cannot overturn the supreme court ruling, meaning there is no need to worry about gay rights or trans rights.
This morning the pro-life stance he took has disappeared from his campaign website, indicating that he might flip on what he said he would do before.
As far as NATO and other stuff goes, we have yet to see any of his plans hatch yet.
Hillary herself said this morning too that we owe him an open mind, and that's a bit hard to accept, even for me.
I'm not going to stoop to the level that everyone paints Trump at and spew death threats and lies about whats coming.

Now is not the time to further the divide among ourselves, we need each other now more than ever.
So please, calm it down and lets regain our wits. 

Positive Apple Vibes by HigglyTownHero
  • Listening to: To be Alone With You
  • Watching: the Man on the Moon
Been a while since I've done this

:iconsilentwulv:
If you aren't watching her by now, I don't know what you're doing with your life.

:iconrosewend:
I met her in a Picarto livestream one time and found out we live only a few miles away from each other.
She's really cool.

:iconmr-tiaa:
One of the most creative artists I've ever had the opportunity of commissioning. 
He's surprised me with his ideas multiple times now.

:iconserenityscratch:
Super fluffy style, and also super adorable.
Very sweet artist too 

:iconplumpig:
Great artist, and even better than she gives herself credit for.

:iconlocksto:
There's no explanation needed. She's a terrific artist.

:icontangomangofandango:
Fun to talk to. Even more fun to participate in his livestreams.

:iconappledew:
She's the one that made my SIlent Flight plushie. If anyone ever wants a custom plushie for a good price, I highly suggest watching her and keeping an eye out for her plush commissions.


Thats all for now.
I'll likely do another one of these in a month or two.
  • Listening to: To be Alone With You
  • Watching: the Man on the Moon
So today was the last day of my first term of school. The next one starts in two weeks.
All I can really say about it is that it's been very gratifying to finally stretch my mind. I idled too much over the years and let it stagnate.

I did very well for my first term. My first paper I turned in came back the other day, 150 out of 150.
And I felt a bit of an unfamiliar feeling with that. 
It felt a little good to pass something like that. 

The unfamiliarity of the sensation possibly comes from.the fact that I never really have felt proud of anything I've ever done in my life. Must be a part of the old sickness I had. There's been a fair craving for new knowledge along with this as well.

It feels rewarding to do good now and that's all I care about. I feel like this will be the final run with college, and I'll make it the whole way to get a degree. Then finally be able to get started on some old ideas and plans. 

A couple nights ago I had an interesting dream though.
In it I was living in my own in Hawaii of all places, but I also had an eye patch and I was very short-sighted. I had an argument with a certain family member in it, and it wasn't a pretty conversation. After hanging up with it I felt petty. Then decided to leave for Honolulu. I can't remember anything beyond that. 

I think that the dream itself though was a way of me subconsciously telling myself that I've been a bit too narrow with some things. What those are I have yet to deduce. Of course that's assuming that my interpretation is valid.

All that leads me to my evaluation of this year. 
It's been a lot better than previous years. I've moved forward a ton, and I still am pressing on.
That's not to say it's been perfect.

I notice some internal problems still brewing as hot as they were in the sick years. Things like me being envious of people that have others to do things with and lean on, and hypocritically, I don't trust people enough to break out of the cycle. So that's my problem to figure out, somehow...
I'm still a socially inept moron in so many ways, but I've gotten better I think. 

At the end I'm just once again glad to say I feel fine on the inside. Depression could have done me in... But I rose from it and only let it make me better.
  • Listening to: To be Alone With You
  • Watching: the Man on the Moon