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Last week, you showed up with the thunder on my doorstep.

Your voice was so drenched with the rain that I almost didn't recognize the way you said my name. It hung in the air like an incomplete sentence, like something unfamiliar, like you were so lost from trying to find everything we left behind and piece it back together that you couldn't find me in your heart anymore. It was pouring and the power was out and I was so tired of watching the world fall apart from outside my windows that I let you back inside my arms and inside my senses, and your bones were shaking as you clung to me and told me how good it felt to come back home.

There was something forced in our actions, as if we were going through the motions of something we had practiced a hundred times before. Your lips were all orchestrated movements against mine and the arch of your back and shudder of your breath felt rehearsed, so that when you lay tangled and spent in my bedsheets I let my mouth wander the terrain of your shoulder and tried to trace our timeline back to the moment I stopped loving you, to the moment you became a memory of someone else's lifetime. I kissed your skin and wondered when you became a brief, familiar instant that passed over me like a shadow.

I should admit that when you were gone the next morning, I didn't look for you. I drank my coffee like nothing happened and locked my door when the sun set; I turned off the porch lights and slept on the couch in case my pillowcase still smelled like the soft waves of your hair. Three nights ago, I pressed my hipbones into a shift stick and fogged up the windows when my lips collided with someone new in the front seat of her car, and I think maybe I scared her because I think I kissed her as if she were you, and honestly, I didn't want to.

Tonight, the heavens feel heavy and the sky is getting darker and I'm hoping that the worst of you has passed. I'm hoping that this is the calm and not the storm, and maybe one day I'll wake up without feeling the aftershocks of your natural disaster.
saudade- n., portuguese refers to the feeling of longing for something or someone that you love and which is lost
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-04-13
saudade is a curious vignette on love by ~SocraticSynapses. ( Suggested by Magnius159 and Featured by ikazon )
doolhoofd Featured By Owner May 20, 2017
I assume you are familiar with the album by Thievery Corporation.
photosynthetichuman Featured By Owner Edited Aug 10, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Passionate, nostalgic, and oh so painful. It truly haunts the heart and personal past affairs. An amazing work by an amazing writer. 
introverted-ghost Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014   Writer
Really lovely.
seyyah61 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013
I finally made a life changing decision this was the perfect solution now I feel whole again just trying to look out for you
syneczek Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013   Writer
Benefits of Losing Those Extra Pounds
postage-due Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2012
This is a familiar story in that I'm sure everyone can relate. The descriptions are so refreshing and unique, even through they describe something so very poignant.
mariellaaa Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
so good :X
frenetic-ride Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
this makes a lot of sense :)
thatenglishguy Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2012
An amazing piece, one that I really enjoyed reading :-)
Sigma-Echo-Seven Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Student Writer
This was impossibly beautiful. I could feel every word, every sentence embed itself into me. Well done.
AviiCeruleanSkies Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Student
Beautiful. I almost feel like I've heard it before....
MinvervaWise Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Student General Artist
this is beautifully well written.
Pieatingninja Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012
Wow. This is striking. I love it.
Yagamiseven Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012
very good
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line-busy Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
hauntingly beautiful. I love it.
hgiahb Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012
This is too beautiful.
Kazul9 Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012   Writer
Wow, this is beautifully done. So personal, like he's sitting there across a table, telling you this. You can hear that hint of pain in his voice. Thank you so much for sharing. :)
Sardonicism Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012
absolutely beautiful, distantly sad.
ZombieCrows Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Student General Artist
whoa really great c:
NaomiARey Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Student Writer
So moving, and familiar, disgustingly wonderful. "I drank my coffee" or the comment about the pillowcase was, for me, the best parts.
bRoKeNgRiN Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Absolutely stunning. Very beautiful in all of it's details. Congratulations on the daily deviation. This was well deserved. Thanks for sharing.
RogueofAsgard Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Student Photographer
damn. just... damn.
guibgomes Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
What beautiful! I'm wordless!
KikitoSan Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I adored this! Amazing work.
eu-MaRi Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012
I love this word, saudade. It doesn't exist in english, or french, or german... <3
Fosterpython Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Doesn't exist in any other language. Not literally, anyway :)
eu-MaRi Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012
really? i'm feeling special now. xD
Fosterpython Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:nod: Somos muito especiais, nůs.
eu-MaRi Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2012
sim sim!! ^^
IdleHandsofTrust Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012
This is perfect. It brings tears to my eyes.
HelaineL Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow. That is just amazing.
ReygarFaust Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012  Professional Photographer
Wonderful work! Amazing!
Life-ls-Beautiful Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2012
oh wow. you are amazing. in complete awe here Oo
EsotericHeart Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012
cleaning out my inbox. i miss you and your beautiful words.
michi-iyo Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012
this really was perfect. the best piece I read in ages, I pressed 'favourite' just two sentences in and didn't regret it after I finished. at all.
Awasteof-paint Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2012
this is perfect.
losingmyfaith Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2011  Student Writer
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2011  Professional Writer
Love is often a tempest. And tempests blow through; though sometimes there is fallout.

This was a good read.
IndigoSkyes Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Wow. Just... wow.
MaireeMargaret Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
you string words together so perfectly...
Ravenwolfe0 Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2011
ah my friend. your first stanza makes me want to ask if this really did happen. that is how vivid it is. the second stanza makes me think that this is the last goodbye between two lovers moving apart. the last stanza gives me hope that you are moving on as I hope she is to.

this is beautiful, poignant, and almost haunting as :icongoddessotu: said. do not stop writing. this is the stuff that will put you in league with the great poets everyone talks about.
erco71 Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer it..
imaduckyrawr Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
i love this
GoddessOTU Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2011   Photographer
This is beautiful. Almost hauntingly so (in a good way of course!).
I've missed your writing, it was wonderful to read this :D
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