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About Deviant Charles LipsMale/New Zealand Recent Activity
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Activity


I'm not doing any fractal art at present, although I am still visiting DeviantART regularly. I thought I might make a new journal entry though, with the three funniest jokes I know. Please feel free to respond with your personal gems.

'Many people know that when Neil Armstrong walked on the moon he said "This is a small step for a man, burt a giant leap for mankind". Not many people know what he said after that however, because Houston cut that part out: "...and good on you, Mr Kassinski!".
After the astronauts had returned to Earth, and were being debriefed, they asked Neil Armstrong what that unscripted remark had been about.
"Well," said Neil, "that is a long story. When I was young, I had this kite. One day, I was playing with it in our backyard, and it got stuck high up in the big tree that grew there. So of course, I climbed into the tree to get it back. And as I was climbing, I could hear our neighbours, the Kassinskis. They were having a fight, but I could not make out what they were saying. As I climbed higher though, their voices became clearer, and at the top of the tree, I overheard the last words of Mrs Kassinski, just before I heard a door slam: '... You want to know when? I'll tell you when! I'll suck your cock when little Neil next door sets foot on the MOOOON!'
So, good on you, Mr Kassinski."

--------------

An overseas visitor was being shown the sights of the charming Italian village by the local mayor: Mario. As they looked out over the village Mario said: "You see-ah alla those beyootiful houses? So many of them, I built! Me, Mario, with-ah my own hands! Now, you-ah probably think they call me, Mario the Housebuilder." Mario looked down and shook his head: "No."
He then led his visitor to a lookout over the pretty harbour, with all its colourful fishing boats bobbing on the waves. "You see-ah alla those beyootiful ships? Most of them, I built! Yes, me, Mario,with-ah my own hands! Now, you must-ah be thinking, surely they will call me Mario, the Shipmaker!" Again, he looked down and sadly shook his head: "No." He then turned round, raising one finger in the air: "But, you fuck-ah ONE sheep ...!"

--------------

(With the following joke, the punchline should be delivered at the top of your voice)

Have you read about the new advances into genetics? The scientists have been able to cross a parakeet with an eagle! That bird still survives, it sits in a steel cage in the laboratory. Two metres high, a wingspan of five metres, razor-sharp beak, piercing eyes, all covered in little yellow feathers ... and every now and then, it says TWEEEEEEEEET!!!
  • Listening to: Arab songs
  • Reading: Game of Thrones
  • Playing: Journey To Rooted Hold
  • Drinking: Strong Tea

deviantID

Snufke
Charles Lips
New Zealand
Current Residence: Lyttelton, New Zealand
Favourite genre of music: World
Personal Quote: Alas! the world is filled with enormous lights and miracles, but man repels them with one small hand
Interests

Comments


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:iconlecristal:
lecristal Featured By Owner May 30, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
Birthday cake by KmyGraphic   Happy Birthday by poisen2014
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:iconlecristal:
lecristal Featured By Owner May 30, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
Reply
:iconkuzy62:
kuzy62 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch!!!! :D
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:iconviperv6:
viperv6 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
big thnx Charles for all the faves and watching :):happybounce: 
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:icon2born02b:
2BORN02B Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
1000 thanks for the faves and watch, Charles. Take care!!
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:iconleos777:
LeoS777 Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2016   Digital Artist
Thanks for watching Hi! !!
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:iconrecycledrelatives:
recycledrelatives Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
YellowFlowers by recycledrelatives  
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:iconrecycledrelatives:
recycledrelatives Featured By Owner Edited Jul 24, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Poppies-1 by recycledrelatives
Thanks for the watch also! 
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:iconmarijeberting:
marijeberting Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2015
Thanks very much for the fav Cold fella (Reactions) 
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:iconpamonk:
PaMonk Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2015  Professional Artist
Many thanks for the fav :+fav::heart:
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