literature

FFM 2020 31

Deviation Actions

snickiedude's avatar
By snickiedude
2 Favourites
6 Comments
65 Views

Literature Text

“I’m going to need you to get rid of the squirrels in your hair before we get started.”


“Oh! I should have known that, terribly sorry,” says Freddie. “They live there for warmth. Guess it’s unsanitary or something. What was I thinking, bringing them to a dentist appointment?”


“Indeed,” says the dental assistant. “But the real problem is that Doctor Karwowski is allergic.”


“...I hope she has Allegra.”


One sneezy dental consult and a half dozen masks later, Freddie walks out of the dental clinic with explicit instructions to lay off on the Sun Carbon. They’re nuts if they think xe’ll actually do it. That stuff is clean and the best energy drink xe could find that doesn’t make xir heart race. It always loses, anyway, in its self-imposed half marathons.


There’s a vending machine in the nearby park. Freddie goes to it and feeds it some coins. The machine says thank you and spits out a Sun Carbon. Xe stares at its other offerings before buying a can of tomato juice as well for xir roommate. Irena will undoubtedly complain that it’s not as good as the fresh stuff. But it’s all she’s getting for now.


Freddie sits down at a graffitied picnic table with xir drink and watches the thirsty sun lean down to make out with the pond. Ugh, do those two have to be so overt with their romance? “GET A ROOM,” xe shouts to the tapestry of dusk.


The sun glares back at xem before sinking its tongue even deeper into the pond. Soon it settles into the depths of the pondbed and the dusky sky is made dusty with distant stars. An inscription appears brightly against the dust: “Don’t do it.”


“You’re a little late for that!” Freddie laughs, getting up and heading in for xir night shift.


The next day, Freddie finds Irena knelt over the toilet. A half-drunk can of tomato juice sits on the table. Freddie sniffs it; it’s rancid. Even the squirrels agree.

Flash-Fic-Month 2020 Day 31 Challenge - The Rule of Thirds
:bulletpurple: Contains callbacks to three of my previous stories this year: day 3 (tomato juice), day 16 (Sun Carbon), and day 17 (Dr./Janine Karwowski and a graffitied picnic table)
:bulletpink: Contains a reference to something that happened to me personally on July 29-31: I had a dentist appointment on the 29th.
:bulletorange: Is magical realism. I tried.
:bulletyellow: 333 words

Also utilizes flashback prompt:
"I can't brush my hair, there's a family of squirrels in there that depend on it for warmth." by SarcasticCupcake5
Not exactly, but still.

Some ideas for magical realism element inspired by MagicalRealismBot on Twitter twitter.com/MagicRealismBot. I swear I finally get it. I think.

WC: 333
This flash fiction was brought to you by too many dice rolls and then trying and failing to write an ace-centric story.
Published:
© 2020 - 2021 snickiedude
Comments6
anonymous's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
squanpie's avatar

Ahaha, thirding the love for that description of a saucy sunset. :lmao:

snickiedude's avatar
Honestly one of my favorite things I've written this month. That scene was more fun than it should have been. I never thought to call it a saucy sunset but I love it. :lmao:
The-Inkling's avatar

Honestly this is the best part, lol "The sun glares back at xem before sinking its tongue even deeper into the pond." I could see it, in my mind, and I'm still not sure how. :lmao:

snickiedude's avatar
Your mind's eye will never unsee it. :lmao:
GDeyke's avatar

... and watches the thirsty sun lean down to make out with the pond. Ugh, do those two have to be so overt with their romance? “GET A ROOM,” xe shouts to the tapestry of dusk. This is amazing. :XD:

snickiedude's avatar
I think that bit of imagery and what follows were one of my favorite things I've written in this year's FFM. It kind of just ran away from me and I was perfectly content to not catch it. :XD:
anonymous's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In