[Please attempt to read everything from beginning to end; at least read the ending statements which are the most important. All help, faves, comments, or signs of life are infinitely appreciated]
Hello, everyone. It is me, a forgotten, worn-out artist with a list of dreams that he has failed to accomplish within the past few weeks of inactivity. Through my long, hard journey in school and family life, I have found that I am flawed, both personally and mentally, in my quest for taking time off and relaxing, I have realized that taking a break from deviantART was the worst mistake that I have ever made.
By exiting deviantART and leaving my mutuals here, I have sought attention and love in other places, which have bore little fruit and happiness for me. Almost all of them have been met with outstanding failure and horrible heartbreak, either it be from bullies and people who trick me or people who have loved me and left just to hurt me.
Recently, my family has broke apart, and I am now feeling as though I am living a separate life from those I am supposed to love dearly. Every other day, I am broken down and sent into a phase of depression of which I have to endure and carry on through.
I am almost desperate for some form of comfort and attention, after all of this time, pain has dulled my feelings, so now I feel no happiness or joy. The only people I can turn to are the ones who have been with me for the longest time. You.
I am asking for those who do not know me and for those who do to try and help me, or at least acknowledging my feelings and having patience with me, and I am asking you to bring with you a shred of kindness to spare for my lonely, castaway soul, even for those of you who are busy or apathetic to cries for help.
Now, this isn't a regular journal, this is a turning point for the remainder of my life, this will be my rise or downfall.
I have tried and I have failed, to connect with each and every one of you, out of my selfishness and personal flaw. I am sorry for being what I am, and what I could not be for all of you.
This is my last straw, this is my last call, this is my last hope, if I find that no one cares for me or is willing to help me... then I lose a reason to live.
I know that I have not given you all enough or anything at all, and I admit with all my heart that it is my fault. You all deserve more than what I have to give, you are the best people that I am ever met, and you all are the best thing that ever happened to me, a small-town boy from a far away place...
(Faves to give me a renewed sense of confidence, any comments to cure my unhappiness and any reposts w/ replies or notes to prevent additional tears of sadness)
Thank you for reading this... ;-;
smoshgoshjosh (Joshua L)