Lucky Shot

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Literature Text

"I just don't get why you're friends with him," said Kurt, after deciding there was no nice way to say that. "I mean... he's with the Brotherhood now. He... burns stuff. What, exactly, am I missing?"

"You've never met the guy outside of a battle," Remy replied absently. He was building a house of cards on the kitchen table. "If you gave him a chance, you'd get it. John's cool."

"John," Kurt muttered, shaking his head. "I just can't believe his name's so... normal."

"Technically, it's 'St. John,' but that's just weird, so we told him no. Petey and me, I mean." He began forming a third layer of cards. "Look, if you're so damn curious, why don't you just come out with John and me? It's not gonna kill you."

"I don't really drink, though."

"Neither does John." Remy paused. "Correction. John wants to drink, but I don't let him. The last time he did--well, Magneto was paying off that barman a long time. Usually we just go play pool or something."

Kurt rubbed his ear. "I don't know... Logan and Kitty will give me crap for hanging out in a bar."

"Y'know, I can understand why the badger has your balls. That man is terrifying. But Kitty? I mean, she's your friend, yeah, but she's tiny."

Kurt raised his eyebrows. "I cannot understand your friendship with John. You cannot understand the horror of Kitty blackmail--though maybe you will, if you keep hitting on my sister." A touch of disapproval came into his voice, as always.

"Will you stop with that? I just like to pull her tail. It's funny." As Remy began the fourth layer of cards, his phone went off, playing the chorus from "Light My Fire." "Perfect timing." Remy flipped open the phone for a monosyllabic conversation, all conducted while still building his card tower. He flipped the phone shut. "We're going out tonight. And I mean all three of us. It's not gonna kill you, mon ami."

Kurt shrugged. "Okay, I'll give it a--"

Twenty Jamie clones came thundering through the kitchen. Ray and Roberto were in hot pursuit. Remy and Kurt pressed flat against the wall as all of them passed. Remy's card tower crumpled.

"Must've been something really bad to make Ray and Rob work together," Kurt commented.

Remy just shook his head and started building his card tower again.


At seven sharp, Kurt and Remy walked into what Remy called a "semi-sleazy" bar. Kurt thought it was just sleazy, but at least they weren't actually here to drink. They walked past the bar to the back, with the pool tables.

"Have I mentioned how glad I am they made smoking illegal in bars?" Kurt muttered. In response, Remy took a cigarette from his pocket and let it hang from his lower lip. "Smartass."

They found John in the back. He wasn't alone: Wanda, sporting a trenchcoat and longer hair, was bent over the pool table, her eyes intent on her next shot. Kurt smiled when she glanced up at her. Technically, the Brotherhood and the X-men were no longer on bad terms now that SHIELD was courting the former. But that didn't mean he was particularly thrilled about spending time with another former enemy.

Well, Remy was all right. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

Wanda squinted slightly. Then she made a shot that knocked three balls, including the eight, into the same corner pocket. "Pay up, koala man."

John whistled and pulled five bucks out of his pocket. "Consider me impressed, sheila. Where'd you learn to shoot like that?"

Wanda shrugged. "It's just physics. I have to do that kind of stuff in my head when I'm trying to do something tricky with my powers." She glanced at Remy and Kurt. At least she didn't look thrilled to see them, either. "I thought it was just you and me tonight, Carrothead."

John shrugged. "You know me. How did you put it? I have 'the attention span and charm of a stinging gnat?" He elbowed her; Wanda shoved him into the wall. "Besides. Now we can play Brotherhood against X-men. Rack 'em up, sweetheart."

"Remember what I said about calling me that?"

"My balls, a jar, your bedroom. I just think you like it kinky."

Rolling her eyes, Wanda fed quarters to the machine until it spat out the balls. She arranged the balls in the triangle. "So you gonna introduce your friend, Cajun?"

Kurt raised his hand in a wave. "Hi. I'm Kurt."

Wanda squinted at him. "...You're blue, right?" Kurt looked away, but he nodded. "Legit." She finished with the balls and leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest. "Flip for who goes first?"

"I think we should get first shot. How're we gonna know you're not cheating?" Remy was teasing, but Wanda scowled at him. "Fine, fine, we'll flip." He pulled a quarter from his pocket.

"Not yours, pally," said John. "I know how you play. Heads, you win, tails, we lose." He glanced at Kurt and raised his eyebrows. "What about you, eh? You seem like a straight and narrow kind of guy. Can we trust you?"

Kurt shrugged. "I've got a normal quarter, if that's what you mean. Coin flips are kind of tricky, though. Three fingers and all." He pulled a quarter from his pocket and tossed it to John.

"We call tails," said Wanda, before John could speak. "Now flip, kid."

John obeyed. The Brotherhood side won.


The battle turned out pretty close. Kurt sucked at pool--again, hard to hold a cue properly with three fingers--but John seemed a lot more interested in flirting with Wanda than playing a good game. And Wanda and Remy were, apparently, experts. But Remy pulled a lucky shot off the side for a win.

"Still the man," he said, blowing imaginary smoke off the tip of his cue. "Traditional loser's deal?"

John sighed in overacted disgust. "One of these days, I will win, and you will buy me a beer."

"Everybody's gotta have something to shoot for, sweetheart," said Remy, shaking his head. "Beer now. Go on."

As John walked off, Kurt glanced at Remy. "You're right. He's not that bad. I thought he'd be... crazier."

Wanda snorted. "You don't live with him. And he doesn't flirt with you."

"I told you it doesn't mean anything, Wanda," said Remy, smirking at her. "You'd only have to be worried if he asked you to read his books."

"He writes books?" said Kurt, nonplussed.

"Gothic romances. Lady locked in a secret room in the castle, crap like that. It's weird as shit." Wanda shook her head.

"They're works of art," John replied, without any apparent irritation. He handed Remy his beer and leaned against the table. "What about you and me this time? Acolyte reunion?"

"What would that make us?" said Kurt, with a nervous smile. He didn't know Wanda at all, and he was kind of afraid of her. Okay. Not much kind of. He'd been in that first fight against her. She might have changed since then, but that was no reason not to be careful.

"Mystique Screwed Me Over Anonymous?" Wanda suggested, with an arched eyebrow that suggested she knew exactly what he was thinking.

Kurt smiled at her, cautiously. He tried to tell himself he shouldn't feel bad for being wary, but he did. Just the kind of guy he was. He walked over to her side of the pool table. "Hey, she didn't screw me over."

"She dropped you off the side of a bridge," said Remy, looking up from reracking the balls.

"Yes, but if she hadn't, I would have been raised by her. Mommy's little supervillain." He shuddered. "Anyway, I don't hate her. I just wish she would stop sending me birthday cards. Wolverine always freaks out at the smell--or lack thereof."

Wanda shrugged. "I guess I can stand to have you as a partner. At least we're still balanced in terms of suck."

"Hey!" said John and Kurt at the same time.

Wanda just smirked. "Flip the coin, firehead."


This game took longer because Remy and John kept arguing strategy. As their second argument dragged out, Kurt looked over at Wanda. "So... do you spend a lot of time with him?"

Wanda snorted. "Fuck no. But I can only take so much 'stuck in the house with Toad.' After a few hours, I'll take anything. Even that." John flipped her off without looking away from Remy. "If you don't stop arguing right now, I will hex your cue."

John shoved Remy away and took a shot. He missed everything. "Told you," Remy muttered.

"What about you, blue boy?" Wanda asked, bending over the table. She hit her ball off the side and knocked two balls into the same pocket. "Is Remy your drug of choice?"

"Everybody loves me," Remy replied, taking the cue from John when he wasn't looking.

Kurt blew a raspberry at him. "Please. I only hang out with you because Scott went off to college and Evan won't come out of the sewers." He paused. "And now that Kitty broke up with Lance, she's decided she needs to learn to cook. For real. At least you help me hide from her." He shuddered.

"Fair enough," said Wanda. She watched Remy walk around the table, sizing up the possible shots, and shook her head. "Never letting you two be on a team again, that's for sure. If I wanted to see glaciers, I'd go up north."

Remy shook his head. "Your attempts at smack-talk are pathetic. You been talking to John too much. He can't pull off a decent insult to save his life, either." He paused, nodded, and bent to make a smooth shot that squeezed one ball between two others for the corner.

Kurt sighed. "I will never be that good at this game. I don't know why I bothered." He took the cue from Wanda. There did not seem to be any good shots, but he pretended to be studying anyway, just so he wouldn't look too pathetic.

Before he could make the shot, Wanda touched his elbow. "Nah, turn this way." She nudged him. "And bend over more. It makes it easier to see."

"Do you say that to all the men you meet, sweetheart?" said John. Wanda flipped him off without looking at him.

"I still don't see anything I can hit," Kurt muttered.

Wanda nudged him again. "So look harder. I've got a reputation to protect here." She paused. "...You really are furry. I thought 'Tro was just making that up."

Kurt shrugged. He never knew what to say to people when they mentioned that. He eyed the table again and finally found something that looked halfway decent. "Totally not going to make this, but--" He hit the cue ball; it clicked neatly against his target and knocked it off the side into the opposite corner. "Yes!"

"Told you," said Wanda, smirking. Kurt smirked back.
This is a Secret Santa for :iconcatalogcats:. She likes pretty much all of my favorite characters from XME, so this was fun to write. I just wish it would have turned out better, but I'm way out of practice writing everyone.
© 2013 - 2021 SkysongMA
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CatalogCats's avatar

This is everything I have ever asked for in a fanfic. XD
SkysongMA's avatar
:D I'm glad you liked it. Writing XME again gave me warm fuzzies.
minecraftbob's avatar