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Sleep, where have you gone?

Journal Entry: Thu Sep 30, 2010, 1:46 PM
  • Reading: "Get Out of That Pit" - Beth Moore


Sleep is becoming more and more elusive these days. And as difficult as it is to fall asleep, I still for the life of me cannot sleep in past 8 in the morning. And then I'm exhausted all day. This pregnancy journey is just tossing me about in a hundred different ways. I'm a bit drained, both physically and emotionally. Perhaps as I am nearing the third trimester and inching closer to the arrival of my beloved daughter, and as the anticipation and anxiety builds and builds, I'm feeling like a wet rag that's been wrung out a few too many times. This is so emotional, this hormonal roller-coaster I've been riding these long months. But I'm determined to hang in there, it's for the best of causes. I just hope I can sleep soon - and actually feel rested when I wake up.

Sooo besides that, things are going fairly well.. I'm beyond thrilled that my group, TouchedWithFire, seems to be thriving. I feel that running this group has become a great outlet for me, and in a way I feel like I'm making a difference, even if it's only for a few. Just the other day, a soldier sent me a note saying how much support groups like mine help him battle his demons and endure to fight another day. I felt so humbled and honored I cannot even put it into words. I just want to be able to help people in whatever small ways I can. It's also helping to distract me from some of the emotional instability that comes along with pregnancy. I have a few times considered seeking out a professional to talk to, but I end up chickening out. It's like a morbid fear I carry, seeking help.. again, after all these years.. which is unfortunate, especially because it makes me sound hypocritical when I keep emphasizing to members of my group the importance of seeking help for unresolved issues. I guess I just feel like I need to focus on my pregnancy and if I get too wrapped up in my emotions I'll just get overwhelmed. I just need to take one thing at a time, one day at a time, read as much as possible, and focus on the positive things happening in my life. And there are quite a few, so I need to just be thankful and keep my eyes on the prize.

I ordered some prenatal yoga DVDs; I think getting into a daily relaxation/workout routine will improve my moods dramatically. Plus yoga is just amazing. I know it will be good for me, if you've never tried it I highly recommend doing so.

How is everyone doing? I feel like I haven't updated this in forever as I've been so busy with my group. But my dA pals are what get me through some of the tougher days, so I don't want to be out of touch with what's going on in everyone's lives. Feel free to fill me in on what's new in your world, or just say hello. :tighthug:



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So my wonderful friend, Dani-the-Naiad has decided to throw me a baby shower! Isn't she the best? Honestly one of the most generous gestures I can think of. It's being held here on dA chat, on Oct. 8 (Friday) at 1:00PM (*MST). To see what time this is in your own timezone, click here: www.timeanddate.com/worldclock…. There will be games to play and just an all around fun time! This is so exciting, and though I wish we could all gather in person, this will be the next best thing! I hope you all can make it! For more info or to donate points to the cause (not required to attend!!), please visit Dani-the-Naiad's home page, or this journal: daniweewee.deviantart.com/jour…

The Stork Brought A Baby Girl by mayawizard101





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:iconfailkat:
failkat Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2010   General Artist
Sorry you havent been sleeping hon.:( I hope you can soon
And dont push yourself about seeking help. Its something you have to be ready for. Maybe after you have your daughter, maybe things will get brighter for you and you wont feel some of the things that you do. But it is perfectly fine to ask for help. And Im not one who likes to ask either :) I like to do things on my own and I dont ever like to admit that I cant always do them by myself.
Oh yoga might be good! It always sounds so relaxing, maybe it will even help you sleep better. Esp if you do it daily.
:tighthug:best wishes as always dear!
Reply
:iconskyeconnelly:
skyeconnelly Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2010  Professional Photographer
Thanks so much hun! I definitely think that once my
little girl has become the center of my life (well, she
already is, but you know what I mean :D) it will be
a distraction and perhaps an elimination of some of
the other troubles. Sleep, I can deal without. :)

But I think you're right, yoga will be so relaxing..
should help to get rid of some of the body aches, at the
very least!!

Hope you are well dear, and thank you so much for
your encouragement!! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconfailkat:
failkat Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2010   General Artist
You're very welcome dear!:hug:
I think so too!!!

Well that will be good. Ive been slacking even in my work outs so I need to get back on track. Ive just been having these aches in my arms so I suppose its a sign my body is missing the exercise.

You're always so very welcome my friend!:glomp:
So far, things are still going fairly well, so at the moment, I can't complain:)
Reply
:iconskyeconnelly:
skyeconnelly Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2010  Professional Photographer
Working out can be wonderful, as long as it's not to the
point of exhaustion! I like being able to get out of bed
the next day! :giggle:
Reply
:iconfailkat:
failkat Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2010   General Artist
true haha Oh same here! ive been having a small problem with that the last few days-i must have slept on my back funny, so ive been very sore. today it was feeling better and i really feel like doing a light workout. plus my sleep hasnt been so great either, so maybe it will help me sleep as well!
Reply
:iconskyeconnelly:
skyeconnelly Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2010  Professional Photographer
Hope you're sleeping better lately!! I definitely understand the aches and
pains, believe me! It's amazing how much stretching helps with all that. :nod:
Reply
:iconfailkat:
failkat Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2010   General Artist
Aw thanks gurl. The past few nights have been the only ones where ive slept well.
Mhm it really is!:D
Reply
:iconrosary0fsighs:
Rosary0fSighs Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2010
I hope you sleep soon, sweets. :hug: how exhausting! but what an incredibly exciting time! Your sleep pattern will probably be pretty unpredictable for quite a while, but just concentrate on your health and your baby's health, nothing else is as important.
I'm a twin, so when my mum was pregnant with my sister and I, she said she couldn't even lie down on her side to sleep for fear of putting weight on either of us. And if she slept on her back, our combined weight would hurt her. She slept upright in a chair =P but she got through it, extremely sleep deprived, but alive and functioning :) You'll get through it hun. And how amazing it'll be when your baby is here!! :aww:

I haven't been active in the group for a time, things have been hard. But just seeing the art in my message centre makes me feel hopeful. Your group really makes a difference. I'll be active soon :)
asking for help is so important, remember that it could help you manage your emotions (especially when you're on a chaotic hormonal journey) rather than make you drown in them.
Reply
:iconskyeconnelly:
skyeconnelly Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2010  Professional Photographer
You're so very right. :nod: Wow, you're a twin! I cannot
imagine carrying twins, my goodness! I definitely understand
worrying about putting weight on the baby (or babies, lol!) as
I worry about that too.. and I totally miss sleeping on my back,
it's just not the same anymore! Lol! It will definitely be
worth it all once my little girl gets here, I can't wait! :aww:

Don't worry about being active with the group hun, all that
matters to me is that you are a part of it and that you believe
in it's cause. We're still working on refining the sort of content
we allow into the group so that we can make as many people happy
as possible, but I think we're getting closer to finding a balance.
I'm sorry to hear that things have been hard for you, that saddens
me to hear that you are struggling but just from reading your
writings I know you have a tremendous amount of strength and
courage, and I know you'll get through this time as well.
And you're right, maybe one of these days I'll find the courage
to ask for the help I surely need, just to find some closure
on past issues, and some better coping skills. :nod:

If you need anything from me, please never hesitate to ask. :)
Even if it's just a need for someone to vent to. :D
Reply
:iconrosary0fsighs:
Rosary0fSighs Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2010
it must be so exciting!! thank you very much :hug: and the same to you, if you would like someone to talk to.
deviantART muro drawingComment Drawing
Reply
:icondani-the-naiad:
Dani-the-Naiad Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, sleep gets harder and harder, I remember. But in a way it's getting you ready for the interrupted sleep of a mother after the birth of the baby. Honestly, I don't think it ever really gets that much better. Your kids still wake you up in the night ever afterward. :) But you get more used to it, I guess. And somehow I think it's something to do with instinct or something, but losing sleep to take care of your infant won't seem too horrible. :) If you don't get enough sleep at night - sleep during the day too~ Especially after the baby is here. Don't worry too much about other tasks - just take care of the baby and yourself and sleep when you can - and at some point it will start getting easier to add on other tasks too.

I'm glad to hear what a wonderful thing your group has been - I haven't been too active a participant in it of late, but I think it's a wonderful idea and I think it's a great thing that you are doing it. When it comes to your emotions, being pregnant makes you really get more emotional then you would have if you weren't - so you're probably fine in not seeking professional help about emotional things and I think you're right about just trying to focus on positive things. Just watch out for postpartum depression afterward and know that if you see the signs, it's ok to take some time away from your baby once in a while. Make the time for you too, k? :hug:
Reply
:iconskyeconnelly:
skyeconnelly Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2010  Professional Photographer
I kinda had a feeling that was the case.. and also, she
is so very active at night! It's like she's throwing a
party in there! I'm sure that's pretty normal, but I feel
like it's definitely nature's way of preparing us mommys-
to-be for life with a newborn. I'm so excited though, it
truly is a blessing. I think I might actually miss being
pregnant (maybe not the discomfort part of it) just because
it's such an intimate bond you share with your child, and
it feels like, for this time, you're child is all yours.
You can share some of the moments with your husband/significant
other, like when he feels baby moving, but he'll never really
know what it's like to have this intimate bond.. I kinda just
want to keep her all to myself! :D

No worries about the group, you can be as active as you like!
Just knowing that you're a part of it, and that you believe in
its cause is more than gratifying for me.

Thank you for the reassurance about the emotional stuff, it
is comforting to know I'm not the only crazy pregnant lady
out there lol! I'm just kidding.. but I have been taking part
in some online pregnancy message boards so that helps, knowing
others are feeling the same way I am. Thanks for all your
encouragement dear, I really do appreciate it, more than
you know. :tighthug:
Reply
:icondani-the-naiad:
Dani-the-Naiad Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, it is an intimate bond unlike anything else and men will never understand it. It's a nice blessing that women can have that. :)

I got into the online pregnancy message boards sometimes too - especially during my first pregnancy. It really does help! I'm glad you're finding some comfort and encouragement there. :w00t:
Reply
:iconskyeconnelly:
skyeconnelly Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2010  Professional Photographer
The message boards definitely help! I couldn't agree more! :D
Reply
:icondemonichollow:
DemonicHollow Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
I would love to have you as my mother. You're really sweet! You're daughter will be lucky.
Reply
:iconskyeconnelly:
skyeconnelly Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2010  Professional Photographer
:faint: Aww thank you.. you're so kind to say that, it means a lot
to me.. :hug:
Reply
:icondemonichollow:
DemonicHollow Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
Your very welcome. When she is born may I see photos of her please?
Reply
:iconskyeconnelly:
skyeconnelly Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2010  Professional Photographer
Of course! I'll definitely post pictures of her on here! I hope to get some professional shots
done too, for memory's sake. :)
Reply
:icondemonichollow:
DemonicHollow Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you. She's going to be beautiful I just know it.
Reply
:iconskyeconnelly:
skyeconnelly Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2010  Professional Photographer
You're so sweet to say that, thank you.. :love:
Reply
:icondemonichollow:
DemonicHollow Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
No problem
Reply
:iconasphixia-micha:
asphixia-micha Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2010
You're going to be a mommy? Goodness, this is exciting. I'm sure you'll make a wonderful mum.
I do hope I'll be able to drop in on your Baby Shower.
Reply
:iconskyeconnelly:
skyeconnelly Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2010  Professional Photographer
I am indeed, I still can't believe it! Thank you so much for saying so, I definitely hope to be a good mommy.. :tighthug:

If you can make it to the shower I'd be thrilled, but if not, no worries! You'll be there in spirit either way! :D
Reply
:iconasphixia-micha:
asphixia-micha Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2010
Ha ha, I will definitely try, my friend.
Reply
:iconskyeconnelly:
skyeconnelly Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2010  Professional Photographer
:dance:
Reply
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