Faded MemoriesDismal clouds come rolling in
Hazing my awareness
Gloomy mists as they hang low
Cling to my skirt at the bottom
Which hugs my legs in desperation
Memories tug and pull
Calling for me to let them in
I slowly draw back the shades
In they come, tumbling fast
I do not long to stop them
They take me back to what was then
That damp and snowy morning
A light and fluffy snowfall,
The kind that takes days to melt
Pure bliss captured in dawn's dewdrops
I still remember your hair
The way it hung in your face
Reflecting the sun in its golden highlights
On the day when we first met
You were free as a bird in flight
The moment you looked into my eyes
My soul felt revived and awakened
Much like the sensation you get
When you catch a big fish for the first time
Only this was so much more
What words can describe
This heart and what it feels?
Destiny?I wish you could see what you are to me
There is no one on this earth quite like you
Youve reached into the deepest parts of my soul
And shown me how alive I could truly be after feeling
Sedated for so long I thought Id never see the light again
I wish you would not fear what you feel for me
Weve both been hurt before; lets not pretend otherwise
Our hearts and dreams have been trampled countless times
So why are we still here? What really brought us both together
After all these years, the history we had..
Back five years ago you and I were caught in moments of passion
It was simple, exciting, invigorating we both felt so free
Nothing could stop us and no force or entity could steal those moments
I thought it all would remain a distant dream
I thought Id never see you again
But here you are right in front of me and those nearly forgotten memories
Come streaming and pouring in from all directions as I struggle
To maintain composure and some sense of sa
Driven to DestructionI feel so completely washed out
Not myself anymore
No matter how hard I try
I cant win.
Detached from the world
Lost inside myself
Misery consumes me
As I slowly drift away
I dont fight it anymore
Those efforts always prove vain
Ive forgotten how it feels
To be truly happy
I keep telling myself
Things can only go up from here
My family laughs heartily in the background
As I slowly lose my grip of reality
Im at my breaking point
It has become a struggle
To make it through a single day sober
So I drink into oblivion
Or float on faded dreams of utopia
The weight of my burdens
Has grown too heavy to carry
Ive lost the willingness to try
Id rather cast it all aside
How much longer can I stand
Before my knees finally buckle
And I collapse into nothing
But a hollow gaping void?
Dearest LoveHow could I have allowed myself to fall
So desperately in love with you in only a matter of months?
I am in over my head as though a fish without water,
Unable to resurface and catch my breath
You left me here to drown without a moments hesitation
And I cant help but wonder,
Was this your heartless plan all along?
If so, then why did you insist on dragging me
Along behind you on your little string?
You cast out the line; I grabbed a hold and clung on tight
As you slowly reeled me in. You kept reeling me in until I was yours
My heart belonged to you more than anyone else in ages.
How could I have let this be so?
Have I been walking and living blindly these last few months?
Now I am left alone, once again
Shivering in the dark, devoid of any answers to the countless questions
Running through my head
Did I do something wrong? Am I not enough?
Have you found someone better?
I am grieving ever so deeply over you, my love.
How could I have let this be so?
I fell too ha