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Critiques


I was looking at the works whose creators had requested a critique, perhaps not really intending to critique any of them; just to get a...


The work as a whole is stunning. It makes one dreaming of visiting the place in person, even live in it and gaze at the scenery every d...

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Literature
Target Cherisa (Afterword)
Afterword
What comes hereafter is organized into several sections: The “Copyright” section contains legal formalities. The “Fictional details” section contains clarifications and additional fictional details not found in the story. The remaining sections deal with the circumstances around the conception of this work.
Copyright
As stated in the foreword, this story is a derivative work of a video game called “Didnapper 1.8.1”, by Kendrian and his/her creative team. As far as the copyright laws are concerned, I believe this work qualifies as fair use. You can read more about “fair use” on Wikipedia.
Fictional details
All fictional names and titles in this work come from the original game, except the following:
The name of the deposed heir apparent in the original work is “Suki”. It is a good Jap
:iconSkycommand:Skycommand
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Literature
Target Cherisa (Part 2)
Foreword
This literary work of fiction is what I call a critical rework. It is an uncommon form of literary criticism in which the critic rewrites parts of an original work to draw attention to its faults and flaws. As a non-original work, this short story is based on a video game called “Didnapper 1.8.1” by Kendrian and a team of developers. (The version number, 1.8.1, is very important here.) Being a critical rework, however, it deviates from the established canon.
You will find more details about the conception of this work in the "Afterword" section if you are interested.
There is, however, one thing you must know before reading: While the original video game is supposed to be erotica, this work is not! Still, it deals with crime and loss, so, it is unsuitable for children under the age of 13.
6: Florian
Marcia and Shauni were once again face-to-face. This time, not in a cell, but in a cot
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Literature
Target Cherisa (Part 1)
Foreword
This literary work of fiction is what I call a critical rework. It is an uncommon form of literary criticism in which the critic rewrites parts of an original work to draw attention to its faults and flaws. As a non-original work, this short story is based on a video game called “Didnapper 1.8.1” by Kendrian and a team of developers. (The version number, 1.8.1, is very important here.) Being a critical rework, however, it deviates from the established canon.
You will find more details about the conception of this work in the "Afterword" section if you are interested.
There is, however, one thing you must know before reading: While the original video game is supposed to be erotica, this work is not! Still, it deals with crime and loss, so, it is unsuitable for children under the age of 13.
1: Enter the lair
In the depth of a thick jungle, whose name very few know, there laid an
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Journal
Using HTML on deviantART

Hello!

Hello and welcome to my little html tutorial. I've been working with html codes for a couple of years and I'm going to teach you what I know about using some basic html on deviantART. This won't make you a html expert or something and I'm not an expert myself but it will give just enough knowledge to make your journals, comments, news articles and other neat and lovely looking. :)
deviantART actually has FAQs about html but I still wanted to do this because they look a bit unorganized, in my opinion. Also, why would you want to look for those FAQs when you can just open this news article where you have everything in one place? :dummy:
You may already know some of these, but I hope you'll find at least something helpful in this news article.

Some basic html

:bulletorange:Bold text: <b>insert text here</b>
:pointr: Result: Example text
:pointr:This html code will work in: journal entries, group blogs, comments, artist's commen
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:iconwayleri:
wayleri Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi! Thank you sooo much for the fave! I'm happy that you like my art! Hamtaro Hamster Emoji-07 (Cute Dance) [V1]
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:iconskycommand:
Skycommand Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2018
Hi.

Oh, yeah, that resurrected girl. It had a tender moment in it. The image itself was something of a blast from the past. Someone whom I thought was dead ... well, wasn't dead.

Oh, by the way, your profile says you like story writing. Have you ever published anything?
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:iconwayleri:
wayleri Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much! I'm glad it means a lot to you and I'm happy that someone you whought was dead wasn't actually dead, it's very emotional!

No, I haven’t published anything yet, because I’m afraid of criticism about me, because I consider myself a bad writer, although I like to write. I usually write not very long stories that I do not always find in myself the strength to finish. But I hope next year to gather my strength and finally start a serious and big book about the same characters, only more ordered.
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:iconskycommand:
Skycommand Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2018
I used to feel the same about writing, until someone told me a secret: Writing is a team work; perfect lone writers don't exist. (Or are extremely rare.) So, if you feel you are a bad writer (I too, by the way), know that everyone is like that. But excellent authors submit their works to a trustworthy copy-editor, who can proofread and edit their work without breaking confidentiality. Copy-editing can be one-sided or two-sided. In the one-sided kind, the editor gets a copy of the work, writes suggestions to make it better and sends it back. The writer and the editor do not discuss them again; the writer has to decide whether to accept them or not. In the second kind, the two may discuss the suggested changes. Anyway, the writer gets criticism in private before publishing.

Unlike you, I don't enjoy writing; but I occasionally use it to escape. For example, sometimes, I read a novel or play a video game that actively engages my imagination. These imaginations don't leave me alone and my work performance suffers. In those times, I write them down. They leave me alone after that. I cannot publish them if I wanted to, because of copyright.
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(1 Reply)
:iconlilyrjensen:
lilyrjensen Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2018   Digital Artist
Hi there!

I just wanted to say thank you so much for the fav Nuu  It means a lot!

Neon Lights - Ilya Kuvshinov's tutorial by lilyrjensen

Please consider +watching if you like what I do! Meow :3   I hope you have a wonderful day xx Heart
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:iconyuukon:
Yuukon Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2018   Writer
Thank you for watching me, I appreciate your support! :iconbummy1::iconbummy2::iconbummy3:
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:iconpajunen:
Pajunen Featured By Owner May 11, 2018
Thank you for the +fav
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:iconskycommand:
Skycommand Featured By Owner May 15, 2018
👍
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:iconwollibear:
wollibear Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2018
:iconthanksfav:'s
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:iconalexhellmann:
AlexHellmann Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2018
Thank you very much for the watch.
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