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Sympathy from the Devil by SkunkStarlight
Gold and Silver! Skunk vs. the God of Nightmares! by SkunkStarlight
Better Part of Valor by SkunkStarlightDivine Sanctuary Reunion (Part 1) by SkunkStarlight

I had once wronged you,
but you have forgiven me.
I will protect you.

I've been a member of DeviantArt for a year now.

Thank you so much to all of you for your support. It has been so wonderful being able to share my world with you, and I look forward to bringing you even more.

Lydia Story has been on the backburner as I've been trying to better my understanding of RPG Maker MV by working on side projects, as well as trying to cope with depression, taking more time for myself to enjoy things and not push myself so hard, and working at practicing and learning to draw better.

When I started DeviantArt, I got back into clay work for a while, but I ended up having to stop. I've gotten old, and working with clay just seems to hurt my hands too much. I'll have to find softer clays if I want to continue in the future, but for now I've been trying to push myself towards drawing again. It's much harder for me to express myself on paper than it is with clay, and I've always struggled to learn to draw, but it's something I've wanted to do since early childhood.

It's hard to motivate myself to chase my old dreams when it's hard to care about anything at all. Movies, video games, reading, recreational stuff I'm supposed to enjoy, most of the time I feel nothing at all, like my soul is gone and I'm just empty inside, and I don't get enjoyment out of anything. It's gotten worse and worse over the years, and at this point in my life, I'm not sure the dark cloud over me is ever going to go away. I keep trying, as there's nothing else to really do. I don't know how dark the future will be, and so I focus on trying to create so that I can leave a piece of myself behind for the world to enjoy when I'm gone, so that everything I've been through won't have been for naught, so that my ideas and my world don't die with me, that they may even bring others joy.

On a more positive note, I'd like to take the time to shine a spotlight on the wonderful fanart some of you have drawn for me since my six month anniversary.

RMVX - Skunk Starlight Sprite 1 by Leon-Murayami      RMVX - Skunk Starlight Sprite 2 by Leon-Murayami
Here is a lovely set of RPG Maker VX Ace sprites of Skunk. I was inexperienced with the character creator when I was making my own RPG Maker VX Ace sprites, but Leon has quite a bit of experience! Nod 

Fan Art Pile #11 by SketchyAnon
A rare drawing of one of my other characters, it features the elder goddess Silver on the right, alongside the characters of TerraTerraCotta and xX-Classy-Hedgie-Xx. Creating a whole universe can take a lot out of an elder goddess. Sweating a little... 

Happy Skunk by TraceMem
A cute and playful drawing of Skunk. She's wearing a cute smile and has her arms extended outward. Fun! :happybounce: 

Shy and Cute Skunk by SketchyAnon
A rather amusing depiction of Skunk. It's certainly rather suggestive, isn't it? As in, I'd suggest you not sneak up behind her unless you want to find out why people call her "Skunk". Giggle

Lumstigethers (AT) by BigBee17
Another rare drawing of one of my other characters, this fantastic depiction of the elder god Lumstigethers is complete with tattered clothes, long hair, dangerous farming implement, and a menacing look that all just screams "nightmare scarecrow", which is exactly the sort of vibe he's meant to have! small heart - rainbow

[R] Skunk by LeoDaZodiac
A stunning drawing of Skunk, complete with some shining silver stars in the background. Love

Prize - Skunk by AnnoyingWolf
A beautiful drawing of Skunk, she's got quite the playful and mischievous look about her. "You aren't bored, are you? Don't worry, I think I know just the curse to add some excitement to your life." Wink/Razz

Early Gift #3 by SketchyAnon
A cute depiction of Skunk, complete with a bushy tail and plenty of stink. There's no better way to secure yourself some alone time than to render a room uninhabitable to others, is there? Giggle

Happy Birthday Skunk Starlight by Bcfoster20
A depiction of Skunk, she seems to be waving. Hello to you, too! Hi!

Chibi Skunk by BigBee17
A fantastic, cool, and very cute chibi drawing of Skunk. She's just bursting with energy! Yeah! La la la la

Skunk by marshmellowcookies
A simple but cute drawing of Skunk. I'm quite fond of this artist's signature use of soft colors, a perfect fit for a name as soft, cute, and sweet as marshmellowcookies.

Thank you so very much for all of these lovely pieces. I'm grateful for all your hard work, and appreciate you all taking the time to make these. It touches my heart and makes my day so much brighter each time you make art with my characters. I very much hope you will continue to bless me with even more wonderful works like these in the future. :heart:

I hope I can return the favor some day as I work to improve my art skills, as well as continuing to share more and more of the world of Shining Silver Starlight with you all. Your kind gestures and encouragement have helped me fight my self-doubt and have strengthened my determination. I want to work hard and give back to the world, to share the virtues of kindness and mercy, and do my part to make this world of ours a sweeter, gentler, friendlier, more understanding, accepting, and forgiving place, as well as to entertain and bring joy, excitement, wonder, positivity, and hope to as many people as I can.

SkunkBattle by SkunkStarlight -Skunk Starlight
Ever since Soulcalibur VI came out, I've been making characters in the editor and uploading footage of them battling. There's over an hour of fights now, and I've got to say, it's really cool seeing them all duking it out in Soulcalibur.

If you're interested in checking the videos out, come visit my YouTube page. You can also watch all of the videos I have made so far below. I hope you enjoy! :heart:

First of all, I would like to thank all of you who have supported me on this journey, and I would like to thank any newcomers reading this for taking an interest as well. Being able to share my ideas with all of you as I build them up and sort them out is a pleasure and an honor. I have primarily worked on writing and character design, but even my hobby work of dabbling in drawing and the like has garnered positive feedback, and I am most grateful for this as well.

It's been almost a year since I upgraded from RPG Maker VX Ace, started recreating my designs in RPG Maker MV, and began fleshing out my ideas for Shining Silver Starlight in earnest... or at least trying to. Sweating a little...

In that time, I have received numerous comments and favorites, dozens of watchers, and have made several friends. But most surprising of all is that a number of you wonderful people have already made fan-art of my characters, despite the fact that Shining Silver Starlight is still very much in its infancy. As I lack artistic talent, I have taken particular delight in seeing your own interpretations of the designs I have, admittedly rather crudely, been attempting to bring to life and share with you in whatever ways that I can. It has been a life-long goal of mine to become skillful enough to bring that which is confined to my imagination to life on paper and on the screen, but if I'm being honest, depression, anxiety, apathy, and all-around poor physical and mental health are barriers that I've simply not ever been able to overcome.

But I do hope, one day, to become confident enough in my ability to draw to create the Shining Silver Starlight comic series I've dreamed of making.

If you are new to my page and you're wondering what all this "Shining Whatsit" stuff is, it is a series of stories, comics, and video games set in a universe where divine beings and mortals live amongst each other. Gods and goddesses, unlike mortals, are not born from parents as babies, but rather they suddenly appear in the world, fully matured and with pre-existing knowledge. They often share a name with a species of animal and have traits and abilities reminiscent of their namesake. Twelve of the oldest and most important gods share their names with the animals of the Chinese zodiac. Additionally, one of the goddesses, Skunk, is based both on myself and an imaginary friend I had growing up.

The series canon primarily takes place on a world called Galmiun, but I have plans for stories that take place in their own alternate canons as well. The overarching theme is a wholesome atmosphere with stories of kindness, trauma, forgiveness, and redemption. Most of the major villains go on to atone for their mistakes and become wonderful people, and even some of the heroes have room to learn lessons in humility and compassion. Though there is fighting and magic to be had, most of the time things are peaceful, and as such many of the stories are more "slice of life" than they are "save the world". If you're the sort that tries to see the good in people and believes that hugs and hot cocoa are some of the most powerful magic in the world, I think that Shining Silver Starlight is something that you will love. Hug

At any rate, the main reason I have made this journal entry is to let you know that I have created a fan group for Shining Silver Starlight, called Shining Silver Stars. I don't plan to do too much with it, but if you'd like to count yourself as part of the fandom and become a 'star', you are welcome to join.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

SkunkBattle by SkunkStarlight -Skunk Starlight
Six Month DeviantArt Anniversary by SkunkStarlight

I've been a member of DeviantArt for six months now.

Back in 2017, I had 0 deviations, 0 comments, 0 pageviews, 0 watchers, and 0 favorites. This is because I was not yet on DeviantArt, and 
all of my ideas lived in obscurity, having existed only within the confines of my mind for decades.

Now, in 2018, things are quite different. I have 317 deviations, received 283 comments, 5130 pageviews, 72 watchers, and my deviations have received
 828 favorites. People have checked out my page 121 times. Shining Silver Starlight: A Deal with the Devil and Shining Silver Starlight: Lydia Story have both been played 35 times each. I have 7 subscribers on YouTube, and 102 pageviews there as well. Jacob7812 on YouTube uploaded a video of A Deal with the Devil which has received 180 views and 4 likes.

As you can tell, things are quite different now than they were six months ago. I once believed all of these things, all of these ideas and efforts of mine that have accumulated all of this love and support, would live and die with me, that I would never be able to share them with the world. I've poured my heart and soul into doing what I've done, but it is all of you who motivate me to keep going. So thank you. Thank you for your continued love and support. It means a lot to me, and I hope to create and share plenty more in the future.

Last but not least, I would like to give a spotlight to a few lovely deviations made by some wonderful and talented individuals. In 2017, I also had 0 fan art of my characters made. And I am delighted to say that this also is no longer true.

SkunkStarlight by FionnaCoolGirl

Skunky (R) by BigBee17

Hug n Kiss by BigBee17

[OC-Drawing] Skunk Starlight by ZanZanryu

Skunker by BigBee17

Fan Art Pile #10 by SketchyAnon

[OC-Drawing] Skunk (Colored) by ZanZanryu

Thank you all so much for these wonderful works, and thank you to everyone for being a part of my life on DeviantArt these last six months.

SkunkBattle by SkunkStarlight -Skunk Starlight
You will be a lot happier not reading this.

I spend so much time trying to tell myself that suicide isn't the answer. You'd think by now that I'd at least partially believe it, but there isn't a single part of me that does, not even a little. I only live because I am gutless, and the only thing greater than my misery is my cowardice. I don't know how I'm supposed to make anything, finish anything, do anything, or learn anything, when 95% of the time I am fighting a losing battle against my inner demons. I want so much for the end to come, you know, it's all I really want, and it's all I've wanted for a quarter of a century, which is longer than some of you have even been alive. It was supposed to get better at some point, but it didn't; it only got worse. Much, much worse. And the pain and stress of it all has been tearing away at my mind so much for so long, that I question whether or not I can consider myself sane.

I kept trying to pull myself out of that abyss, again, and again, and again, and again. Through self-hatred, I pushed and continue to push myself past my limits and to points of great pain. I feared the thoughts in my head, the thoughts that made me different from other people, the memories and flashbacks of things I can never forget, and I have likely caused myself brain damage from the self-harm I have inflicted over the decades, but even that is not enough to shut up the hell that exists within my mind. I am in hell, I was born into it, I have always lived in it, and I fear that I always will live in it until I die in it, and despite a lifetime of my best efforts, I see only one path that isn't pointless agony, and it's the one wherein I don't exist anymore.

I wanted to be something better than this. I wanted to be happy, and bring joy and love to this ugly, terrifying, brutal world of ours. I wanted the agony to become a distant memory, I wanted to move past everything that I went through and not let it hold me back, I wanted to find a way to kill my greatest demon, my body image issues, so that I could feel like a human being instead of a monster, but... I guess I just didn't have what it took. Maybe I wasn't smart enough. Maybe I wasn't determined enough. Maybe it was always in the cards. I come from trash, and I wanted to be better, but in the end, despite desperately trying to claw my way to something better, even to the point of extreme physical and mental harm, I guess I too am trash. Perhaps it was something immutable, or perhaps that is just wishful thinking.

My partner tells me it wasn't my fault. That there was nothing that I could have done better. That I am amazing for going through what I've gone through, and that if I can get past my pain, he believes I could do anything I put my mind to and achieve brilliant and incredible things. But the thing is, things don't ever get better for me. They just don't. Ever. I only suffer. Maybe I'm bad luck. Maybe I'm cursed. Whether I fight back with everything I've got, or I fall over and accept it, things don't ever get better and I only suffer.

My partner tells me to be easier on myself, don't push myself so stupidly hard, to try and care about myself. But I absolutely despise myself inside and out with every fiber of my being. I am ugly inside and out, and if self-hatred was a fire, this entire world would be turned to cinder by now. I just don't know what to do. I can't live, this hell I am in is not living, but I can't die either. Isn't it all supposed to become some distant memory I can laugh about later? I'm 31 now, when is that supposed to happen? When is my life supposed to start? When am I allowed to say "It's clearly not going to get better, now can you please just be humane and euthanize me?"

Sorry for the rant.

SkunkBattle by SkunkStarlight WanderBattle by SkunkStarlight
Shining Silver Starlight: A Deal with the Devil by SkunkStarlight

It's been one week since I uploaded the full version of "Shining Silver Starlight: A Deal with the Devil". In that time, it has been played online eleven times and downloaded once, and the deviation for it has been viewed thirty-four times, favorited four times, and commented on once. That's quite a bit more attention than I was expecting. I hope you enjoyed playing it, and I look forward to bringing you more cool stuff like this in the future.

Take care!

SkunkBattle by SkunkStarlight
Hey, everyone! I've been meaning to make a DeviantArt account for some time now, so I would have a place to upload the things that I make and be able to share them with the world. And so, here I am! Name's Skunk, good ta meetcha!