Slayers - For Your Fantasies

Skiyomi's avatar
By Skiyomi
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You Are Answerable For Your Fantasies.

It was a roundabout way, Xellos had to admit, of getting a cup of tea. Going to a café might have afforded him better service and less generalized insolence than stopping by Filia's and waiting for her to snap enough to need to sooth her nerves with tea, but… then again, that wouldn't be as much fun.

It had only taken a backhanded compliment about her weight, a knock on her child-rearing abilities, and a steadfast refusal to give her any clue as to just what exactly he was 'up to' with these little visits to make Filia decide to reschedule teatime. The look on her face when she disappeared to the kitchen said: teatime is whenever the hell I need tea, and I need tea now.

She returned from the kitchen, easily carting a teapot big enough and solid enough to have bent most women her size double. She gave him a nasty look as though questioning where he got off sitting so expectantly at her table like he had a right to the share of the stress-reducing tea that she'd had to brew because of his shenanigans. Nevertheless she coldly set a crinkle-edged tea cup in front of him, lest he make a swipe at her less-than shining hostess skills.

She poured his tea slowly, as though determined to give herself reaction time in case he decided to pull his cup and saucer away suddenly so she'd stain her tabletop. But he let her finish.

When she had sat down across from him with her own steaming cup, he picked up the delicate beverageware and took a long drink. He took the cup away from his mouth and let out a satisfied post-drink noise. He looked up curiously at Filia's seething form from across the table.

"What's the matter, Filia? You're not drinking," he said, faux-concern latched firmly into place.

Filia wanted to drink. In fact, she'd go so far as to say that she desperately needed to drink. The smell of it was driving her crazy. She knew that once she had a sip of the warm, consoling liquid that inner peace would wrap its arms around her and her troubles would be forgotten, if only for a moment. But even to Filia's frequently burnt tongue, the freshly brewed tea was far too hot to drink. Not that that would matter to a monster. And Xellos knew that. He was just lording it over her.

"I am waiting," she said evenly, "for it to cool."

"Ah, what a shame," Xellos said, with a tone and expression that indicated in no uncertain terms that this was not a shame. "It might help pass the time if you had a cookie or two to nibble on," he suggested, looking around his saucer as though a circle of sweetened dough might be hiding under it, "but I see there aren't any." He cocked his head at her. "How strange. You'd just opened up a new tin when I was here yesterday—you remember, when you threw an oatmeal raisin one at me with such force that it smashed against the wall behind me into nothing but a cloud of crumbs?" He looked at her critically. "Don't tell me you ate all of them by yourself between then and now."

Her hands encircled her tea cup with more vigor than you'd expect for simple hand warming. In fact, it was hard to tell which would shatter first: the tea cup full of boiling liquid or her gritted teeth. Just when Xellos was making ready to duck away from another flying projectile, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them, she had an expression of such peace and contentment that you'd think that she'd already taken a swig of her favorite beverage (perhaps with a shot of something stronger too). She smiled.

Xellos eyed her suspiciously. "What was that?" he asked.

"What was what?" she asked, feeling the heat radiating from her cup. It would be just cool enough to drink soon.

"Whatever you were just thinking," Xellos said, narrowing his eyes.

"Oh, that. I was thinking about bashing that teapot over your head. Repeatedly," Filia answered sweetly.

Xellos raised an eyebrow. He'd gotten his tea, now he was getting his serving of insolence.

"I see," he said curtly. "And do fantasies of inflicting violence upon me always fill you with such glee?"

"Of course," she said, raising the previously boiling, but now merely scalding beverage to her lips to take a drink.

"Doesn't the Dragon race have rules against sinful fantasies?" Xellos asked.

Filia spat out her long awaited gulp of tea in a spray of indignation. She gave him a hard look. "You're thinking of an entirely different kind of fantasy."

"What kind of fantasy?" he asked in an innocent tone that she did not buy.

"That kind I'd never have about you!" she shouted.

"Ah," Xellos said, sitting back. "So you don't participate in the panting, caressing, fleshy kind of fantasies?"

"Of course not!" Filia screeched.

"You're talking about the wrathful, pummeling, violent kind of fantasy?"

Filia nodded fiercely.

"Well how is that any less sinful?" Xellos asked. "It's not as though sex is more wicked than violence. In fact, it's less aberrant. At least sex has its place, whereas destruction is always seen as evil."

"You're missing the part where you're a monster," Filia said acidly. "Hitting you is practically a public service, whereas"—she choked on her words for a minute—"whereas doing that other thing with you would be an abomination."

Xellos clucked his tongue at her. "I don't see how the victim of your action matters. The act of violence itself is sinful. I can't say it's what you practice, but it is what you dragons preach. In that sense, it doesn't matter what I am."

Filia wanted to know just where Xellos got off labeling himself 'the victim'. But he had an annoyingly accurate theological point.

"Well that doesn't even matter," Filia shot back, "because I didn't actually hit you, I only thought about it."

Xellos wagged a finger at her. "Ah-ah-ah," he chided. "Haven't we already established that 'just thinking' isn't an excuse? Lustful thoughts are a sin and so is lust. Therefore if violence is a sin, then so are violent thoughts."

Filia was not only running out of counterarguments, but she was running into more violent fantasies. "Who are you to criticize my moral compass anyway?" she demanded in a last-ditch effort.

Xellos shook his head. "Criticism isn't the point," he said. "Clearly you're being held hostage by these depraved desires you have concerning me." He looked at her seriously. "You need help."

Filia was exasperated. The help she needed was for Xellos to get as far away from her as possible. Also, she wasn't too fond of the way he wielded the phrase 'depraved desires'.

"I think confession is the solution," Xellos concluded thoughtfully. "Yes. You must got to one of your temples and tell a dragon priest that you've been having immoral fantasies about me. I'm confident he'll get you the help you need."

Filia ran that suggested sentence through her mind. 'So, I've been having these immoral fantasies about Xellos…' "They'd execute me!" she yelled.

"Yes," Xellos said with an enthusiastic nod, "but you wouldn't have any more fantasies."

Filia stared at him opened mouthed. Then she shut her mouth, glared at him, and appeared to reach a decision. She pushed her chair out, got up, and gripped the teapot with deadly intent.

"Oh good," Xellos said, cheerfully dodging as the hefty weight swung straight through the area his head had been seconds ago. "I'd prefer to see you actualizing."
A response to theme #89 of Beloved Enemy's 100 Nights of Summer Challenge.

Themes Done So Far:
-Exorcism: [link]
-Tea Leaves: [link]
-First Kiss: [link]
-Guilty: [link]
-Dwelling on it: [link]
-Unoriginal Sin: [link]
-Game: [link]
-Terms & Conditions: [link]
-How to Impress a Woman: [link]
-Wolves and Their Prey: [link]
-Good Deeds: [link]
-Amusement Park: [link]
-Flower Garden: [link]
-Gemstones: [link]
-Childish: [link]
-You are Answerable for your Fantasies
-Clipped Wings: [link]
-Totally Smashed: [link]
-Just Because You Can Do It, Doesn't Mean You Should: [link]
© 2011 - 2020 Skiyomi
anonymous's avatar
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CMY187's avatar
He will pay...I swear that someday, somewhere, somehow, that grinnin' sod would pay for all the abuse.
Sooner or later, Filia would find a way to deal with the constant personal attacks. 'Course, this guy's been around for near a thousand years, so he has some experience in these reality TV show-like debates.

Always the shots about her race...dosen't he ever get tired of it? An' of course the sexual harrassment. Filia, girl, ye've got to find a way to counter that. Yeh haveta beat him at his own game. Don't argue. Don't debate. Do it his way. "I'm just stating facts."

Maybe a few nettles about him not bein' as tough as the image he'd like to play in front of others(let's face it, Gaav whupped his arse rather easily). That'll at least get him to raise his friggin' eye-brows...
Skiyomi's avatar
I'm assuming that you're not suggesting that Filia should try sexually harassing *him*. Although that *would* admittedly throw him for a loop XD

Lina should share that whole Gaav story with Filia when she needs cheering up.
icanseeuuu's avatar
< "Oh, that. I was thinking about bashing that teapot over your head. Repeatedly," Filia answered sweetly.> So this is Filia's happy place? Sounds nice (for her at least) :D

Oh, Filia, won't you ever learn? You simply cannot win an argument against Xellos. Just go ahead and hire the church's choir to sing whenever he shows up (you may end up broke, but it may be worth it). And just when are those geniuses of the Outer World invent the tape recorder, Filia could use one, you know.
Skiyomi's avatar
Sounds like a pretty good coping method for dealing with Xellos XD
littlecloudflower's avatar
Ahahaha...I think Xellos actually has a point to make, preferably to the movie-rating industry. :D Or Filia, of course!
Skiyomi's avatar
XD Very, very true. It's something both of them need to hear :P
littlecloudflower's avatar
Yes, definitely! Violent fantasies are just as bad as...the other kind...:D
anonymous's avatar
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