Published: April 10, 2013
In a way I didn't want to write this because "Wow, that was from May 15, 2006?! That was nearly seven years ago! Holy fuck, I was only fifteen!"
But that kind of thing is holding me back lmfao (I constantly grasp at those years, even as recent as 2010, because I recall being way happier, trying to stop this... though 2008/2009 are two big ones too)
I'm just chiming in with why my output's so low, lately: Honestly, I have a lot of trouble enjoying DA these days. I stumble across old users, old things I liked, possibly random things I saved and thought "Hey, I wonder what this person's up to?" only to... well, see they've nuked everything / their account / storaged it (why is this a feature, again? I have trouble comprehending it).
I understand that this is up to the user's own judgment, but it really does... kinda sting a little bit. It's almost become a game of "Who's nuked their shit THIS time?!" every time I decide to check the site beyond "who's submitted this time. okay, cool. see ya.". (Pretty much if I hide a comment anywhere, it's a deactivated account.) Granted, it's really only THIS frustrating as of seeing that one old friend had deleted their account... and I should've kept up with them more, but blugh. (This is another problem: I have trouble maintaining contact with people!)
And my lack of enjoyment involving the site is... terribly demotivating, to say the least. I have little other places to showcase anything I make (which, let's face it, doesn't reach a wide audience here anyway, but it's at least -there- for people to possibly see!), so I just... kinda don't make it as much. Sometimes some massive inspiration will strike (like, "HOLY FUCK I have to do something with this!"), but for the most part it's dead. I hardly touch wallpapering these days, I don't make nearly as much in ZC anymore (LTTS2's hit a standstill, SuperNF2 kinda died, etc.)... it's taken a toll in a way, and I kinda want to reverse some of the shit.
Bleh. I dunno. I've just turned in a way I really didn't want to, and I'm trying to turn myself back around.
(who wants to bet sometime I'll look back at 2012/2013 fondly lmfao -- fuck I already do it with some parts of 2012...)