Journal Entry: Fri Jan 13, 2012, 9:43 AM
Disappeared close to the holidays, not really of a conscious choice, just... poofed. My anxiety is something I've struggled with for years, but only in the past year and a half have I sought help for it. Around October it started getting really bad, to the point that I would spend more time being anxious over the things I was doing than actually doing them. Art wise, nothing was ever good enough, and so nothing was ever finished. I spent the bulk of my time worrying about how imperfect everything I did was instead of just doing it and appreciating the ways I was different, and striving to be better with each new project.
Long story short, I took the holidays to deal with myself and try to sort out my thoughts and worries. I'm better, but it's still there, and maybe it always will be. There are days that I am happy as a clam (are clams really that happy??) and days where I ridicule myself for being unoriginal and a shitty artist.
I'm hoping I'll be around more now and that I will have more time for art. I also got a promotion at my job so I work a full 40 hour week, and that added a lot of pressure/anxiety to what was already mounting on top of me.
I think that's pretty much it. To anyone who reads this, whether you comment or not, thanks. I appreciate every single person who looks at my art, whether you express it or not, whether you watch me or not. I do hope to be around more.
... and now I must sort through all my missed deviations and journals!