The remake you've all been waiting for!
It's ready for you all to download and to enjoy on All-Hallows Eve! ^^
Just press the "RTF Download" button on the right side of the page. XD
You can also find it on Furaffinity! Enjoy everybody!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! >w<
Fave, comment and NO STEALING!!! Thank you! ^w^
The Sonic.exe Remake is created by © Me, Sir JC the Hyena
Strangely enough, there were some pretty tense moments in this pasta. Clearly needs more work to fix the grammar errors and occasional stupid moments (The first problem I noticed is the description of Tom's interest in Sonic was barely changed from the opening line of the original trashfest).
6/10 enjoyment wise
4/10 quality wise
P.S I personally think X should take the corrupted form of something its victim loves and cherishes instead of just being an evil Sanic all the time. (You can still keep the Sonic forms for when he plays with Tom)
Now that we are talking about superfluous aspects of this revamped tale. A lot of times the narration introduces plot points, just for the characters to mention them almost verbatim. While previous stories could be trimmed to a third or a fifth of their length by just getting rid of reiteration. This one might be chopped to two thirds. Yet again. That is far from improvement.
Last thoughts. Try to actually improve your writing JCtheHyenna. Failing is meaningless if you don't learn from it.
I mean I appreciate the fact that you're trying to remake a old creepypasta but honestly, this remake just doesn't seem to live up to my own expectations.
Sure the description of the game is better and the whole Cult of X thing is an interesting addition to the plot. But honestly X just comes off as an edgy teen to me. I'll still read the second chapter to see if any improvement has been made though, I do believe you'll make a good story even if I didn't like the first chapter.
Overall, I give the story a 2.5/5. The characters were meh but it didn't take away the reading experience. Keep making stories though, you seem to have a good interest in writing.
Really like this!
I think this has to be the best story of yours I've seen. I genuinely liked the originals too despite their flaws. You could fix up some of the grammar, but that's really one of the only problems I see with this. I'm really looking forward to part 2! Keep it up, JC!
Why the fuck did you have to upload it to Furaffinity, why did you even need to say you had a furaffinity account holy shit, also, were you the one that was tard raging in the Kiwi Farms because it got taken off the Creepypasta Wiki and uploaded to the Trollpasta wiki?
Besides, I thought this was better than the original.