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Life Update

Journal Entry: Fri Sep 14, 2018, 10:38 AM
  • Listening to: Zodiac Mindwarp and the Love Reaction
  • Reading: The Ritual
  • Watching: Gorillz - Tranz
  • Playing: Animal Crossing Pocket Camp
  • Eating: Fish and chips
  • Drinking: Bailey's


Figured I should write another journal since the last one was ages ago.
Basically (and I'm not going into details because it is personal) something happened, it was big and it was awful and I've been spending the past month trying to come to terms with the shock. I'm still not ok and I won't be for a very long time. It has completely changed my outlook on life and turned everything upside down. I have days where I'm doing better but I also have very very low days where I'm not doing well at all (don't worry, I'm not sick or anything, but my mental state is completely wrecked at the moment). I'm trying to cope and move on and my friends have been there for me and for that I'm grateful beyond words. I often feel very alone and miserable and knowing that I have people who care about me and are there for me means so much. I will recover in time. I have to. But I will struggle for a very long time and it will take a very long time to heal. In some ways I don't think I will ever heal. But this is the hand my life deals me and often stuff is out of my control.

So, onto happier things. I've been working more on my digital art and practising with backgrounds (you may have noticed I'm trying to put more effort into my stuff) and I'm loving using SAI as well. I'm also getting faster and more efficient at it. I also want to try and practise more with my iPad Pro and Apple Pencil. I'm not good at drawing straight out onto the screen, I normally sketch on paper and then scan and digitize it but I will be practising with Procreate to see if I can get the hang of it better. I've been drawing a lot of my newer OC, Darl, channelling my pain into him and working on some writing with him as well (it will never be published, it's just private stuff that's helping me cope). So drawing and writing is a big thing with me at the moment. And also listening to an awesome sleaze rock band that no one's ever heard of. You won't have heard of them.

Not much to say other than that really. I don't post journals that often because I like to keep them art related and this is about all I've done regarding art lol!

~Silvolf signing off!

Sexy Zs from Space!! :D (It's a thing between me and my friend Kel in case you wondered)

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~Rest in peace, always~
:rose: :iconthe-great-1: :floating:

:bulletblue: -Baileyite Stamp- by Silvolf :bulletblue:



Add a Comment:
 
:iconbellmunky:
BellMunky Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Hope you feel better.
Keep up the great work on those backgrounds you're hard work is showing! <3
Reply
:iconsilvolf:
Silvolf Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2018  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you so much! I've never been good at backgrounds but I am getting better and I always feel more achievement when I put in more effort.
Reply
:iconbellmunky:
BellMunky Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome! <3
Reply
:iconcaptainkpeanuts:
CaptainKPeanuts Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
*big hugs* be strong hun, you can get through this, I am here if you need me

your backgrounds have been looking awesome! really nice work
Reply
:iconsilvolf:
Silvolf Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2018  Professional Traditional Artist
*big hugs too* I'm trying. Its good to know you are here for me.

Thanks! I just finished another pic, I'll upload it tomorrow ^_^
Reply
:iconcaptainkpeanuts:
CaptainKPeanuts Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
always hun!
awesome!
Reply
:iconhearsegurl:
HearseGurl Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2018
I really hope things are ok, my friends are going through so much shit lately. You can talk to me anytime, I am always here. I hope it's nothing really really bad, that hurts my hear to even think about. O_o
Reply
:iconsilvolf:
Silvolf Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2018  Professional Traditional Artist
It will be ok in time. Thank you for being there for me though, it really means a lot.
Reply
:iconhearsegurl:
HearseGurl Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2018
And I will be as long as we are friends. :iconspazhugplz: You're Welcome! :heart:
Reply
:iconsilvolf:
Silvolf Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2018  Professional Traditional Artist
We'll be friends for many years to come! :hug:
Reply
:iconhearsegurl:
HearseGurl Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2018
:iconspazhugplz:
Reply
:iconsilvolf:
Silvolf Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2018  Professional Traditional Artist
:glomp:
Reply
:iconblueravenfire:
BlueRavenfire Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
yeah, from your facebook I know what that something is and I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that, but at least you are finding your own way to cope with it and have a lot of friends that are there to support you through your rough time. I'm always here for you too if you need me since you helped through my tough times. also glad to hear youare focusing more on your art and working on to better improve your digital art skills.
Reply
:iconsilvolf:
Silvolf Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2018  Professional Traditional Artist
Yeah I never thought something like this would happen. I was always told I am strong and I'd survive but I'm tired of being strong. I'm always fighting for stuff when others just dont want to. I thought it was worth saving.
Thank you, we've been friends so long and I value your friendship.
The improvements needed to be done I look back on my old digital stuff and I can see how I'm growing and improving from that.
Reply
:iconblueravenfire:
BlueRavenfire Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
yeah, that's the thing, everyone thinks the worst can't possibly happen to them, but it always does anyway, whether you are prepared for it or not. yeah, i feel the same way, I'm tired of being strong with every shitty thing throw at me after another and fighting for everything i want while others don't have too. but in the end that is all you can really do, stay strong and move forward because life dosen't stop for anyone. you're welcome. yeah, i value your friendship with you been on here as well.

yeah i seen how far you have come over the years too with digital art, far better then you were, but still room for improvement. :)
Reply
:iconsilvolf:
Silvolf Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2018  Professional Traditional Artist
Yeah it drags you down after a while but you gotta keep going. Its the only thing you can do, not letting life get the better of you.

Ah yes there is always room for improvement! Thats the nice thing about art. We are always learning and growing.
Reply
:iconblueravenfire:
BlueRavenfire Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
yeah, it is understandable to have your really low points and really bad days, but the important thing is never give up completely.

yeah, so very true, as artists we always constantly improving and learning new skills.
Reply
:iconsilvolf:
Silvolf Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2018  Professional Traditional Artist
I agree. I did think of giving up when this happened. I was in physical pain because of the hurt of my emotions and I didn't know that was possible until now. Having to force myself not to love someone I thought was my soul mate and life partner is very hard.

Indeed!
Reply
:iconblueravenfire:
BlueRavenfire Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
yeah, that is understandable, it's natural for you to feel that way after such a devastating event and hit your lowest point from it. it's okay for you to take time to deal with the grief of loss, but eventually you have to move on from it. 
Reply
:iconsilvolf:
Silvolf Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2018  Professional Traditional Artist
I completely agree. You'd think I would be used to stuff like this happening to me by now but it's never easy.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmarielcatdragon:
marielcatdragon Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Sorry to hear that...I'm like that too
Reply
:iconsilvolf:
Silvolf Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2018  Professional Traditional Artist
Hope things get better for you
Reply
:iconmarielcatdragon:
marielcatdragon Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Same for u
Reply
:iconrattemacchiato:
RatteMacchiato Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2018
Sounds so sad. Just the best to you! Hope you find your luck anytime again!
Reply
:iconsilvolf:
Silvolf Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2018  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you so much! I hope so too.
Reply
:iconsterlingkato:
SterlingKato Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2018
Well, I've heard of them ;P
:heart:
Reply
:iconsilvolf:
Silvolf Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2018  Professional Traditional Artist
Only cos I won't shut up about them on Twitter :XD:
:heart:
Reply
:iconsterlingkato:
SterlingKato Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2018
Well, that and I sat in a car many a days listening to the album on repeat ;P
Reply
:iconsilvolf:
Silvolf Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2018  Professional Traditional Artist
Lol I dunno why he never changed it. I honestly expected him to. Or at least suggest something else.
Reply
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