It's officially 12 AM here, so yeah, it's my birthday. Not too sure how to feel. My life has been such a roller coaster these past few months.
I went to college for only 3 months before withdrawing. Turns out, it was never gonna be my thing. It sort of pains my heart, but it was for the best. I was failing miserably, and by withdrawing, I saved any drops in my GPA. But it still weighs on me as something I couldn't complete. I suppose it was out of my control a bit-- I was sick for 2 months out of the 3 with a nasty sinus infection that killed any motivation I had. And I had had some before I got sick.
It's also weird to be paying bills now. I spent way too much money -- half of my entire savings-- at college, and even up until the beginning of this month I was still dropping way too much. Don't have much to my name at the moment, but I have a small job working at my dad's dental office doing laundry. 200 bucks a month ain't too bad, and I'm lucky my parents don't make me pay rent. But it's hard when I want to buy stuff. I've been trying to save for a Switch for so long. but I know I could never be happy with myself if I bought it right now.
On the other hand, it's interesting how things turned out. Last summer, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Coming home brought the best out in me, and I know now that I really want to be a Vet Technician. I was accepted into a tech school about an hour away from home, so I plan on commuting for classes once it starts in the fall. It's weird how just one tiny choice to come home resulted in me gaining some more motivation.
Art wise, I'm a bit upset at myself. I draw occasionally. The motivation is much less than the trying to go to school one, but I try. I do need to say something, and I think that has to be that I'm cancelling all nuzlocke projects I have. AKA This Means War... yeah. At the very least, it's on hiatus, but I don't know if I'll ever finish it. While I want to tell the story, it's hard to put it into drawing/writing. It's all up there in my head, but it just won't come out. Sucks... and hopefully one day I'll start and finish a nuzlocke. It's a bit hard to do though when I can't even scan frequently since my mom goes to school online and uses the computer all the time.
So I'm still here. I still enjoy this website I joined six long years ago. I've gone through lots through out this time. I don't think I'll ever leave. At least not yet. There's more doodles and art to try and make, and I'm willing to try. Plus there's all the collabs to join and the OCTs to try out for. I've still got a spark in me, and I think I can get it into some embers.
It's now 12:15. It's weird feeling being 19... but... I think I'm at peace, no matter any medical difficulties and lack of motivation.
So Long For Now;