silentivy

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.7. Things you buy now won't wear out.8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.9. You can live without sex but not without glasses.10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.12. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge...

Hey everyone,I'm Back!

Q. Why did the tomato blush? A. Because he saw the salad, dressing.Q. What did the lettuce say to the celery? A. Are you stalking me?Q. Why did the Tomato go out with a prune? A. Because he couldn't find a date!Q. What did one vegetarian spy say to the other vegetarian spy? A. We have to stop meating like this.Q. What do you call a vegetarian who goes back to eating meat? A. Someone who lost their veg-inity!Q. Have you heard of the garlic diet? A. You don't lose much weight, but from a distance, your friends think you look thinner.Q. Why do people kill animals? A. Fur convenience steak.Q. How many vegetarians does it take to screw in a lig...