A Greater Society - Chapter 97: Eyes

The next morning I woke with Sam curled up tightly against my front, his face buried in the chest of my shirt.  While normally he did sleep somewhat in the fetal position -- as many do -- this was something else, and something I hadn't seen from him before.  Fortunately enough he managed to stay asleep the whole night, at least as near as I could tell.  I could only imagine what he saw in his nightmares, though this reminded me of the greater situation.

All of the eyes on him, the escorting around his own house, was undoubtedly getting to him.  The fact that he needed escorting to begin with was at the heart of it all, this measure only taken out of concern for the safety of him and the children.  Even though it made sense on paper, in execution it was an exhausting ordeal.

The slightest movement of my arms had him jumping awake, a sharp gasp and eyes darting from place to place.

"Sam, it's okay," I whispered, combing my fingers through his messy morning hair.  "It's just me."

"What...happened l-last night?" he stuttered, refusing to part from my front.  "I-I remember seeing you, but nothing before or...after that."

"I came home from town and I think I startled you awake when I opened the door," I said, hugging him against my front.  "You jumped and fell outta bed so I ran over to help ya back up.  Given how you were acting I think ya had a nightmare, but even after wakin' up I don't think it had gone away yet."

"Wh...What do you mean?" he asked, those sickly eyes easing up toward mine.

"I think you thought I was somethin' I'm not 'cus you put your arms up to shove me away," I recalled.  "It took a little bit for ya to realize who I was, I think, and after that I picked you up off the floor and held ya for a little while to calm you down enough to try sleeping again."

"I-I don't remember waking up, only...only feeling like I fell," he quietly said.

I was afraid of that.

"Well...let's just try to take today as it comes," I said, uneasy.  "It's Harley's birthday and she hasn't been here too long, but she seems to like it here despite the staff.  It'll just be all of us."

"...I will try," he said.

"That's all I ask for," I said, leaning down to kiss his head.  "You'll be safe and sound, surrounded by friends and family.  I'll be right by ya the whole time."

"...Thank you."

"And Sam?"

"...Hm?"

I hugged him a little tighter, even curling my tail around his back.

"I love you," I said.  "No matter what happens, I'll always be here."

He didn't answer, but given a few little sniffles I know I was heard.  That was all I could ask for, especially in his current state.

Honestly it was remarkable how well he managed to push through his affliction if it meant getting his work done and providing for his children.  Even with my years of experience working with the corrupted I could say that such resolve wasn't common.  When he really put his head into something it would take nothing short of machinery to pull him back out, and that was a dedication I quite admired.

"Will you be alright by yourself for a few minutes so I can take a shower?" I asked the little man clinging to me.  "Given what happened I hadn't a chance to change my clothes before scooping you up so I'm a bit clammy."

"...I-I can...I can try," he stuttered, but I could feel him begin to shake.

"Hm, maybe not the best idea," I thought aloud.  "Uh, how's about ya come with, then?  Could probably use one after bein' stuck to me all night with how sweaty I got."

I sat upright, his still clinging to my front.

"Lemme get some clothes, quick, at least," I laughed.

He reluctantly let me go so I could dig through the dresser and find some clean clothes.  To make his life a little easier I did the same for him, picking a casual outfit he seemed to wear pretty often.  After swiping the comb from atop the dresser I turned to face him, my arm open to invite him in.  With a pause he got the bearings to slide to the edge of the bed and stand up, though his back was stiff as a board.  I'm sure he felt awful and embarrassed, but I gave him a hug before he picked up his box of concealers.  A squirt of saline on each one and he put them in, his illness now effectively masked from most people.

"You ready?" I asked, my hand on the door handle.

He responded with only a small, hesitant nod.

I opened the door, the hallway still the pale blue of early morning as the light shone through the open doors.  The few staff around at this time seemed to be holed up in the other staff room as I didn't see them at the end of the hallway.  Worked for me.

We made our way to the bathroom, his taking the shower stall next to mine.  I dug myself out of my soggy clothes and they landed with a plop on the tile floor below, after which I turned on the water and waited for it to warm up.  Before I took a step I noticed I hadn't heard anything from the other stall.

"Reverend?" I called out.  "You alright over there?"

No response.

I put my undergarments back on and wrapped myself up in a towel, stepping through the curtain and waiting outside the other stall.

"You decent?" I called again, but still no response.

I braced myself, my hand reaching for his stall curtain and pulling it back.  There he stood, rigid and unmoving with his arms clung tight around his clothes up against his chest as he stared off into nowhere.  He was like a deer in the headlights, too stunned and afraid to move.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked, just loud enough to be heard over the running water.

"...I don't know," he said after a moment, his voice breathy and barely audible.

"...Uh, well, this ain't somethin' I'd normally ask, but..." I scratched my head, "d'ya wanna...um...sh-shower with me?  I'll keep my underwear on."

Much to my surprise he shuffled toward me, cowering into my front.  I guess that was as good an answer as I'd get, so I led him to my stall and closed the curtain.  Once we were there, as awkward as it was, I helped him out of his clothes until he, too, was down to just his underwear.  I had mixed feelings about all of this, but felt blessed enough that he trusted me with such a task.

"The water should be plenty warm by now," I said, motioning with my snout toward the shower door.  "I'll be right behind ya."

He turned to face the door and carefully stepped into the shower, my doing the same once he was inside before closing and locking the door.  It was a little cramped, but I managed to grab the bottle of soap and get to work while he tended to his own washing.  I felt immediately better to be free of all the night sweat from sleeping in those other clothes.  Looking down to the smaller man he was turned toward me, but his eyes seemed to be staring nowhere in particular as though caught up in a thought.  It seemed that, without his work, his mind had no idea what to do having grown so used to endless piles of paper.

I reached forward to turn the water a little hotter before opening my arms to invite him closer.  He took my invitation without question, cuddling up to my front with his back toward the water and uttering a little sigh as it helped loosen his scars.  Were this under more normal circumstances this would all be downright pleasant, but instead I was quite worried with this sudden decline.  The sooner we could organize our countermovement, the better, and it was getting to the point that preference was becoming a necessity.

"...I'm sorry," he said from below me.

"Shh," I hushed, nuzzling his head.  "We'll get through this."

We stayed in the shower a little longer, standing under the hot water for a few minutes to loosen the extensive, tight scarring.

When our shower was done he dried off in the shower stall, closing it to properly get dressed.  I took advantage of the privacy to do the same, tossing off my wet undergarments and drying myself off before putting on today's wardrobe.  Once he was finished we both walked out of the stall, stopping in front of the sinks to comb out our hair and look a little more put together.  After he was finished he pocketed the comb and I took him into my side, ready to put a nice breakfast together and start the main event.

---

As far as I could tell the celebration went well and Sam did appear to loosen up enough to enjoy the goings-on.  He helped me cook a nice full-course breakfast of pancakes, eggs, bacon, blueberry sauce, and apple slices all accompanied by a glass of milk.  It seemed that if he could concentrate on something he could act fairly normal, especially when it came to his children.  Sometimes he'd still jump or snap from a sudden movement or sound, but he was very quick to apologize.  Many people wouldn't do that even normally.  Harley did seem to enjoy the big breakfast and extra attention, all things considered.

After breakfast we all presented her with our gifts-- Sam and I with a set of sheets and a couple sets of clothing, Sura with a tailored pair of hand-me-down pants, and Riv with a little beaded bracelet.  Riv had started working for Ulimi a few times weekly for some pocket money by foraging around the outskirts of Huot at night for things to use or sell, much to Samuel's dismay.  Saffron and Connor, being still too young to work, provided either promise of chore coverage in Saffron's case, or cute little drawings from Connor.  Under our supervision we took all of them outside as the weather was quite nice, Kuri and Tamani joining us for a breath of fresh air.  Harley seemed particularly elated with her taste of freedom, finally getting a chance to explore the untamed wilds of the backyard.  As we'd all been so concerned for Sam's safety and supervision we hadn't the time nor resources to take the kids out back like we used to years ago.

It was another one of those things I missed, and I was sure Sam did, too.  The most he'd ever wanted was a family and a normal life, to be able to take care of those he loved.  Instead he was more or less a prisoner in his own home, doing everything he possibly could to keep his children safe even if it meant killing himself.

...Hopefully not for much longer.

---

Later that night and after a full day of outdoor romps and running about, it was time to turn the kids in for bed.  Connor was already on the verge of passing out, lying atop Sura's front as she laid back on the couch with Saffron beside her.  Harley had taken her station on Riv's lap, not giving him much say in the matter, though he seemed to understand the futility of his position and resigned himself to it.  Harley hadn't been here too long but had already picked a favorite, Riv proving quite protective of the little girl similar to how he'd been years back with Sura.  However, in this case he seemed to be aware that it was necessary even if he didn't know why just yet.

He could smell blood in the water even if he didn't know who was bleeding, or why.

After the younger kids were put to bed I took up my vest to head out for a quick stop in town.  With Sam in this kind of state I didn't want to be gone any longer than I had to be, walking briskly to Morissey's apartment and then to the carpentry shop.  Yua was a bit surprised to see us, but could tell from the look on my face that it was important and let us both inside.

"Alright, guys, I ain't plannin' to stay longer than just a few minutes," I said, standing in the middle of the livingroom.  "I don't anticipate y'all've got much to say yet given we only just started gauging the people's interest."

Most of them shook their heads.

"That's fine, it's a process," I handwaved.  "And you-- you're still willin' to help with this whole thing?"

"I am," Morissey replied.  "I'm not sure what you want me to do, though."

"...Mostly to stay outta the way if ya want my honesty, though it might be worth poking at your staff about helpin' us if ya think you can trust any," I answered.

He looked off to his side in thought.

"Just be real careful who you probe lest we be given away," I said.  "You're no idiot so I'll trust your judgment on that one, but I think it'd be best they come into this late in the game just in case."

"Alright, I'll keep that in mind," he said with a sure nod.  "There is at least one I could think of who's only had positive things to say.  They might know more than I do, so we'll see, I suppose."

"Sounds good," I said, turning back to the ramiotrans.  "I'll come back in a week.  That seem like an acceptable amount of time?"

"I mean, we'll certainly try to make it work," Ulimi said.  "I'll try putting up sales this week to entice more patrons, which should help."

"That's a good idea," Yua said.  "You guys want to do that, too?"

The other carpentry shop workers nodded with a unanimous affirmation.

"Excellent," I said, bringing my hands together.  "I'll let y'all handle that and be back in a week.  Sorry that push is comin' to shove."

"Nah, don't be," Shindi said, packing a small pipe.  "We're all tired of it, too, and want to help fix a problem that's gone on for far too long.  We like you and your kids, Daniel, and if this helps ya and others in a similar situation that's all that matters."

"...Thank you," I said.  "This means more to us -- and to me -- more than you know."

"Ain't a problem," Ulimi said, handing me a paper bag.  "Since I couldn't come to the birthday party I'd like ya to take this back home.  There's something in there for all of ya."

"Heh, thank you, Ulimi," I said, taking the bag.  "I'll see all of you again real soon, and hopefully there'll be some good news."

Morissey followed close behind me as I excused us from the short, impromptu meeting and we once again entered the overworld.  The walk between here and his apartment was short, but something had the fur on the back of my neck standing on end as a chill crept down my spine.  I looked over my shoulder, but only Morissey was there.  His eyes met mine and he tilted his head in question.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"You feel that?" I asked in return.

"Feel what?"

"...Eyes," I said.  "Like you're bein' watched."

He didn't answer and broke his eye contact, his ears creeping back.

"...I don't...remember the last time I hadn't," he finally answered.  "...It's been so long that I've just more or less grown numb to it."

I'm not sure what answer I wanted, but I admit that was the one I expected.  It explained much behind the difference between his demeanor in the foster home and his demeanor in private, whether it were in his residence or during these brief outings.

...Maybe this was the side that Samuel saw-- a crack in the wall as he held a proverbial chisel.  With enough time and care he could work at that crack and uncover what the wall concealed.  Unfortunately, in doing so it seemed to have drawn the unsavory attention of staff just looking for a reason to jump.  That Morissey had humored the work of a man raising a new type was bad enough, but now he'd started to change, grow as a person, and they really didn't like it.

I didn't ask anything further, satisfied enough to know that the feeling wasn't just me.  Stepping into his apartment building and walking him down the hall I led him back to his room.  Before he could close the door I reached into Ulimi's bag and pulled out one of the pastries, offering it to him.

"...I don't understand," he said.

"I'm happy to have gotten to know ya as an actual person and not just some talkin' head," I replied, grabbing his hand and placing the pastry in his palm.  "Should we see to the end of this whole thing I'd like ya to stick around.  Your heart's in the right place even if you've done some questionable things in the past.  You've grown.  That should be acknowledged."

He carefully took the pastry and I used that to tug him forward an into a hug.  I felt a sharp stabbing of angry eyes in my back, but defiantly held my ground as I hugged Morissey-- from what I could tell, and what I'd heard, it was something he really needed.  After I let him go he just looked up at me in confusion, to which I just shrugged and smiled.

"See ya," I said, turning tail to head home.

---

After I returned home I put away the pastries in the icebox for tomorrow and headed upstairs.  I, too, was pretty beat after such a busy day and was looking quite forward to bed.  With how quiet the house was it seemed everyone turned in early, so I did my bathroom business and made my way to the bedroom.  When I opened the door I saw Samuel sitting near the edge of the large bed, hugging his knees to his chest with his tail wrapped tightly around his person.

This was probably the worst I'd seen him.  It was quite late and, if I was tired, he certainly had to be.  I gently closed the door behind me before grabbing my nightclothes and hastily changing, carefully walking up to the bed once I was finished.  He was still awake, his eyes wide open but staring at nothing.  When I put my hand on his shoulder he jumped, whipping his head around faster than I'd ever seen him move.

"It's okay, Sam," I whispered.  "It's just me.  I know you've gotta be exhausted, so let's get ya to bed."

I pushed myself past him and crawled up to my usual spot, opening the covers to invite him in.  It took a moment but he eventually took me on my offer, lying down next to me like he normally would.  I covered us both up and put my arm around him, holding him close and trying to make him feel safe and secure.  As I begun to doze off it seemed he fell asleep before me, suddenly snuggling up very close like his life depended on it.

...Fear types.  They seek a source of comfort and safety, coming to a point where they can't sleep without it.  I guess I was that source of comfort.

I brought my snout to his hair, rubbing my nose atop his head.

...I couldn't help but feel it would be a difficult week.

---

Previous: www.deviantart.com/silasagnost…
First: www.deviantart.com/silasagnost…
Next: www.deviantart.com/silasagnost…

If you enjoy my content, please consider supporting it through Patreon or Ko-fi so I can continue making it and keep the bills paid.  Supporters get early access to chapters/illustrations as well as exclusive access to WIPs.

www.patreon.com/ratte
ko-fi.com/ratte
paypal.me/silasagnostos
Discord server