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hello there! how's it going? good, i hope. ( ´∀`)

as for me, i uh,,, i've been in a weird place, kind of. let's just say, deviantArt is not at the top of my priorities right now.
but i've been procrastinating for too long anyways, so i'll bite the bullet and finish all the requests i've sat on for the last month, and hopefully i'll manage to set up the RP server as well, since i don't think anyone else is going to join.

after i've done that, i'll probably start working on my webcomic project again since i finally have the material... so, expect some reference sheets soon!
i'm in that place again where i have so many ideas and no energy at all so yeah, this should be fun--

i feel kinda lonely, tbh. this could just be a mood, but... yeah, idk. it feels like it's not enough.

hi! i've made a thread about this RP idea and since some of you seemed interested in it, i'm gonna make it happen! so here's how to join!

STEP 1: Make an OC!
of course you need a character to roleplay, right? your main OC for this project must be a humanoid, supernatural creature: it can have every monster feature you like, as long as they can talk and walk on 2 feet. you can have other types of monsters too if you wish, but they won't be considered as your main OC.
if you want a secondary character you can also create a human OC! it's not mandatory but it is highly recommended. as i said before in my original post, in this universe monsters and humans are linked - however, your human OC cannot be linked to your own monster OC. i'll be the one linking monsters and humans for y'all ;D that way you're always sure to have interaction.

STEP 2: Comment here or send me a note!
your comment/note's content must include:
- a reference to your monster OC/OCs (a drawing or a customized avatar, with a short description and bio)
- your monster's attitude towards humans (hostile or friendly)
- a reference to your human OC/OCs (again, a drawing or a customized avatar with description and bio)
- your discord username

STEP 3: Have a little patience :')
i'm gonna get back to you as soon as i can and until i have a satisfying number of members things can't begin, of course.
in the meantime, i'll make sketches of everyone's OCs and share them on discord as a welcome gift! as soon as our group is set up we can chat on there and get to know each other. i look forward to see you there soon!
I'M NOT DEAD

a car crashed into our telephone exchange last week and we were left without internet,,

i managed to get internet on my phone for a couple days but then that stopped working as well and,, it's been depressing man.

but now everything should be good! i mean i don't know, i hope it is. anyway, i'm gonna upload a bunch of drawings real quick and then i'mma post a journal about my RP project, for those who saw my post on the thread c:

feels good to be back!!
Commission guide: to commission me, send me a note with your commission details! but before that, be sure to read the info below! you will find my standard request format at the end of the page, if you wanna use that. for payment, i only accept paypal! links and everything will be provided after i've accepted your commission. about payment times, i would like if you paid half the price before and the other half after i'm done with the piece. hope that's okay!

Commission prices:

Headshot: 7€
Yuumaru (art trade) by signorinella

Portrait: 10€
The last glimpse of life by signorinella

Waist-up: 12€
Anisha (art trade) by signorinella

Full-body: 15€
ayumi shinozaki by signorinella

Extra:

Additional characters: +5€ each new character

Background: a simple background is free, a semi-detailed background is +2€

If you purchase something from here and share this journal, i'll throw in an extra sketch for free!

Conditions:

Will draw:

- OCs (humans, aliens, minor animalistic features such as ears, tails, fangs etc.)
- Fanart (anime, games, movies, tv series etc.)
- Gore (from blood and small cuts to full-on dismembered bodies)
- NSFW (nudity, sexual acts, as long as the characters are fictional and over 18)
- Couples (SFW and NSFW, as long as the characters are fictional and over 18)

Won't draw:

- Anthros/furries
- Animals
- Underage NSFW
- Complex backgrounds

Waiting time: from 2 days to 2 weeks, depending on what you choose

Commission format (optional)
- Artwork type: (headshot, portrait, waist-up or full-body)
- Characters requested: (number of characters, names, reference links or pictures)
- Additional details: (particular poses, backgrounds, trigger warnings etc.)

thank you for considering! (♡´౪`♡)
yo! tomorrow i'll be getting my paypal so i can finally open commissions again - in the meantime, i've decided to take one last round of requests! there are unlimited slots until tomorrow, so don't be shy! here's the usual guide to what i do/don't do

WILL DRAW:

- OCs
- fanart
- gore
- NSFW
- fictional ship art

WON'T DRAW:

- anthros
- complex backgrounds
- real life ship art

this isn't first come first served, so please be patient! i'll give priority to watchers and mutuals :'v
in case you're confused about what i write in the description boxes of my drawings:

- visual novel: "Life beings now" (writing script)
- novel: ??? (just finished designing characters)
- short comic: ??? (outlining)
- pokémon urban AU (writing plots and headcanons)
- danganronpa 90s AU (finished headcanons, about to write plots)
- trauma team romance fanfiction (writing, but still need to figure things out)
guys i'm 18 (खਉख) we're all dying
yeah i don't have much to say about it... i'm just excited to go eat at mcdonald's later today lmao

more importantly, school ends next saturday for me!! whoohoo!! (≧艸≦*) now that's something i'm excited about. i can't wait to go back to 2-3 drawings a day and start working out and write and work on my projects and aAaHHH there are so many possibilities!! (ಡ艸ಡ)

commissions will be open soon again, as i'm finally getting my own paypal (っ´ω`c) spread the word if you can!! i swear i'm making them really cheap, i know we broke,,,

i'm thinking about organizing a new daily routine bc my real struggle during summer break is procrastinating ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i think a good way to solve that is to simply set times for everything i need to do.. like working out in the morning, drawing in the afternoon, then chilling/playing videogames and then writing in the evening. or maybe i'll switch some activities between them-- idk yet, but i'll see what works best for me!

oh, big thing!! i'm thinking about posting some of my writing here as well. i'm not sure tho bc translating is a bitch and i don't know if i'm patient enough loool,, but i'll try to incorporate some of my stories into this whole deviantart thing since, y'know, i love writing, it's a huge part of me and i don't wanna neglect it c:

anywho... i think a youtube channel is coming soon as well, but idk if i only want to do art-related content-- see that's the thing
with me, i'm passionate about so much stuff that i end up being inconsistent ༼ ಥ ‿ ಥ ༽

lastly, i seriously want to "brand" myself but it's going to take so much time to re-decorate my page and everything sooo,, yeah, not anytime soon but hopefully before my core membership expires hahaha

that is all! thank you if you've read all of this!! hope to read your comments! <33
it'll be my birthday this saturday, which means commissions will be open again soon!! fufufu i'm excited! ( 〃´艸`)

i'm almost done w/ school too which is awesomesauce, i'm like so tired of it so this is really nice, i'm ready to enjoy the summer honestly ( ´∀`)

i've been playing some 4th gen pokemon and wow it's a trip down memory lane!! (゜ロ゜)
it's making me remember so many good times from my childhood.. which brings me to ps2 games! and now i really want some ape escape-influenced OCs but we all know i'm crap at creating characters ( ; ω ; )

if anyone has some tips and tricks about that, comments are appreciated!! <33 i really need some characters to love and nurture, deep sigh

oh and tysm for 2000+ pageviews!! this is cray-cray, i've only been on here for 3 months, i'm actually shook ;ロ ;
tell me if you want me to do a raffle or something like that ey, i'll be glad to do so!! tysm for all the support!!! i live off of it lol <3
good evening! it's currently 10:30 PM and i feel so so sleepy atm

it's been a rather nice day, i feel like venting yesterday has helped me proceed with my week with clearer thoughts than before.
i'll admit, i'm still a little bit stressed school-wise, since there are a lot of tests and presentations coming up and, of course, the more these approach, the more i wish i had time to do other things - writing, for example! i'm literally itching to write some new fanfictions but it's just too time-consuming atm ;;

well, i don't have anything else to say, which is surprising :'u have a nice day!
hello! sorry for not sticking to my resolution
i really wanted to write everyday, but...

you see, i feel like i'm not making progress at all with the plan i had in mind. nobody in my life is really supportive of it, nor do they care about it, or understand how much it's affecting me.

i'm willing to do anything to lose this weight. because this weight is permanently stained by all my bad decisions and habits, stained by my past. and i don't want that past to bleed into the present anymore. i'm sick of it.

i don't want to feel repulsion towards my body or towards food anymore. and everytime i have to say aloud that i'm okay with what i am i end up choking and can't keep on talking, because otherwise i'd start crying.

i'm not a good liar... and i'll have to admit, i'm willing to do anything but right now i feel really, really uneasy.
i feel like if i don't do it the hard way then i'll never reach my goal before the deadline i set for myself (which is september), but seeing that everyone wants me to take it slow and just... nobody has faith in me. nobody ever pushes me.

and i know i should be finding the motivation within myself, but... it's hard when you have to live under someone else's rules, i guess. i can't just decide for myself yet, and since talking leads to nothing, i have no choice but slip up.

maybe my way of thinking is just stupid and selfish, but i don't want other people's rules to be my excuse not to try harder, you know? i easily get distracted, even for matters like this. and because nobody shows support, it's even easier to just let go... but i don't wanna! i don't wanna let go!

even if may brings no progress at all, i'll cram all of my efforts into june and july and august, i'd cram all of them in 1 day even if that were possible for human capacities. but i don't wanna be stalled like this because of other people. it's annoying. just let me do what i need to do for christ's sake.

anyway... sorry for rambling/venting, i said i didn't wanna be negative but if no one listens to me i'm gonna go crazy.
hello!!

i gotta admit, today was definitely a lazy day, kek. stayed in pjs all day, didn't do much, and i sure as hell did not care about my food situation -- overall, i feel embarassed, but also like i was waiting for a day like this... sometimes you just gotta tune out and recharge, you know? whether your fuel is bed rest or calories, lmao,,

also!! important update!! i finally made an instagram!! it's @thatsassylass and i would reeeally appreciate if you followed me over there as i will be posting wips and traditional art - of course i'll post my digital art too, but there will be extra content, lemme tell you :'0

that's all i had to say for today. now, back to binge-watching gameplays!!
good evening! it's currently 10:50PM and today has been such a fulfilling day - i've had my painting practice, i've written a poem for my whatsapp group, my fav youtubers have uploaded some amazing content and on top of it all school ended earlier and is
cancelled for tomorrow!! so i finally have a saturday off!!! ahhh i wish every day was like this ༼ಢ_ಢ༽

the food situation is good- i feel like i've already lost some weight since some of my pants fit me better -- even tho my period is coming up soon so i'll probably inflate as a balloon anyw-actually you know what? nevermind the last comment, this site is already filled to the brim with fetish art about inflation so haha, nope-- not kink-shaming at all i promise, just-- dang it-

anyway! i'll be opening an instagram soon! idk how many of you use it but it would be really nice if you kept supporting me on there as well <33 i think i'd be posting different stuff on there such as traditional art and wips! idk if you care at all but, i wanna give it a shot :'0

and lastly, there's smth i wanted to talk about, and that is - i kinda want to get to know new people on here! i really wanna build friendships and relationships and rivalries and all that fun stuff, so please, if you're "admiring me from afar" (lol nope) just add me either on skype or discord and let's chat it up! of course i can't guarantee that things will work out, but if i find somebody who's on my wavelenght i'll make sure to keep them close! ;'^)

alternatively, if you know any apps / communities where you can safely meet people and make friends please leave suggestions!! have a nice day/night! <33
hoi hoi! how you doing? i'm doing okay,,

today was lowkey-kind-of stressful?? man i'm so ready to get over this damn school. i feel dead bc of it. i've been ditching homework for weeks now, i just can't bring myself to do it :'u it's so tiring, my classmates are still sucky, i feel like the whole place has LiTeRaLLy drained all the little energy i had left in me and i just. want. summer!!! i need a break, more then ever.

what's the food situation? hmm, i guess i've eaten pretty well today. chicken and salad, you know, healthy crap like that :'P i treated myself to a couple of waffles in the evening... but they were vanilla-flavoured so let's pretend they're acceptable kek
still don't have time to excercise tho, which suuucks. i really hate excercising but rn i'm itching for some running, kinda want to bring out my cyclette as well,,, oh, right! i should prepare a music playlist for when i excercise!

speaking of music but unrelated to anything: i just listened to troye sivan's new song "bloom" and omg i'm obsessed with the music videooooo
and lastly, go search DIIV - Past Lives on youtube real quick. you can thank me later ;'^) see ya!
hello peeps! it's day one of the thing i mentioned yesterday!
it's currently 9PM so the day is basically over. today was the first day back to school from the break we had, so waking up early was a little harsh, i'll admit X'D oh, also! i usually wake up at 6AM but now i changed the alarm to 5:50AM so that i can "properly wake up" and stretch a little before getting up and having breakfast. i've eaten very little today and i'm really proud of that- i think that focusing on other things like drawing and projects really helps me to get my mind off of food. it's only day 1 tho... we'll have to see how i'll endure this, hahaha

alsooo, i still need to do my homework. :T i've already decided to ditch maths for the sake of chemistry, i have a presentation tomorrow- wish me luck!! but yeah the day was great. one of my irl friends made a pixel edit of me as a pokemon trainer and omg i love it so muuuuchhh -- expect some fanart of me and my friends really soon!!

have you seen today's deviation yet? i drew myself as some sort of superhero, i don't even know myself tbh :'u but it looks decent, and i had some painting practice for the day at least

should we do a QOTD thing? i feel like that's a lil too far maybe but what do i know - i hope you're all doing good! see you tomorrow!
|ω・`) ...

hi.
i can't lie, i'm not feeling too good. i'm not sad, or mad, i'm just... ashamed (_ _|||)
today i stepped on the scale, and found out that i, yet again, gained weight. i'm now 50kg heavy.
i know, you can learn to love yourself at any size as long as you're healthy, you shouldn't obsess over these things, i get that, i really do. but i'm tired of receiving this kind of validation. being "okay" shouldn't keep me from getting better, right?

i've been "chubby" since middle school, when i weighed around 57kg (keep in mind that i'm only 146cm tall, so that's a lot for me,,), then had a lot of ups and downs until, at the end of 2017, i went from 51/52kg to 46kg in the span of 10 days, because i was starving myself after my break-up. clearly it wasn't the smartest move, 'cause after i got over it i started gaining weight again. and that brings us to today.

i'm so tired of this, i'm actually starting to tear up oh god--

i'm TIRED. i don't want to look like this. i don't like my legs, my arms, my chubby face, everything. i look so... awkward and goofy. i hate it. i want to lose weight. i don't even know why i'm being so bitter about this, god i'm such a crybaby.

my real name literally means "helmet of willpower", so where's my willpower at? i feel so weak sometimes.

but that's why i'm writing this journal. to try and motivate myself.
starting tomorrow and through all the month of may i'll be posting daily journals about my life and weight situation: about my diet, exercise, successes and mistakes. i really think keeping track of my progress will encourage me to do more!

and not only that: since art is the most therapeutic activity for me, i'll try to incorporate it into all of this "project". so, instead of taking part in mermay, i'll be making "encouragement art" for myself and everyone who comes across it and post it here on deviantArt! i don't know if they'll be portraits or sketches, it's just something to keep me sane and not want to give up, really.

they say that doing something for 30 days straight turns doing that thing into a habit... so let's see how much progress i'll be able to make in 30 days from now!




current weight: 50kg
goal: < 45kg
"hey Latte that's an interesting title you got there, what's that about? do you need help? professional help, maybe?"
- all of you, probably, upon reading the title

yes, i finally lost my mind (´∀`)nah i'm just kidding, but i did lose my soul, a looong time ago

what normal person would want a rival in their life tho? that's right, a couple people probably no one.

they say that competition is healthy, and i believe that wholeheartedly! but it's not only about competition.

you see, during my childhood i've played a lot of videogames where is this going i hear you say in which the protagonist would have, indeed, a rival! pokemon, to name the most well-known one.
but as they progress the story, the protag's rival would grow, and learn more about them both, and ultimately learn that winning isn't always what matters and badabing, they are now better friends than ever.

plus there's always that fun stuff like the bickering, the excitement for the next meeting, the drive to get better and better, and of course the random acts of kindness (´꒳`)

now, did videogames set unrealistic expectations for me? yeeeah. do i still wish i had a rival? absolutely. (*´∀`)

but i swear, if somebody comes out of nowhere RoAsTiNg me or my art or any other skill i have, i'm befriending them instantly
could you imagine have a conjoined secondary account with your rival? that'd be awesomesauce. is that weird? this whole thing is weird, i'm sorry,,,


i'm slowly but surely running out of ideas and i have a couple days off from school, which means i'm up for some art trades! i mean i always have been but you know, creating a journal brings attention to the topic i guess (´∀`•)

anywho, there won't be limited slots and i'll accept to draw mostly everything, in fact, here's a handy-dandy guide to my limits

WILL DO:

- OCs
- fanart
- any gender (although i struggle when drawing grown men so keep that in mind i guess)
- any ethnicity
- minor animal features
- humans
- aliens
- demons & stuff like that
- gore
- NSFW

WON'T DO:

- complex backgrounds, just forget it
- anthros
- animals
- anything that promotes hateful messages

leave a comment if you're interested! (ノ∀`♥)
hey hey! @^▽^@
hope you're doing okay (ノ∀`♥)
i'll be honest - it's kind of a tough time for me. with everything that's happening at school i really don't feel like being active online cause, well, i don't wanna vent all of my anger and bad feelings here, you know? i'm not about that, i've never been about that and i never will. i like to be happy, and positive! i like to cheer people up! being angry on here just doesn't seem right, so... i'm waiting for things to calm down. and that's about it for why i'm not really "into it" lately and my art feels different.
i guess this stress has given me art block, or maybe i just burned out cause i was making more than 2 paintings a day until last week, kek

so, about commissions: they're closed now! oh no! i know it's a bit sad, plus some people are already showing up saying "oh no i missed these!" and i'm starting to feel so bad!!! (*ノ∀`*)
but, i have core now, so there's really no point to gather more points for now. as i said in my commission info journal, commissions will be open again around june, cause guess what happens in june?? that's right! i'm turning 18 and finally getting my own paypal account! stay tuned if you wish to commission me and support me with real dolla billz - don't worry i'll set the cheapest prices, i know we're all broke--

if you've been around for a while or even just checked out my gallery you probably know that i have a folder called "my visual novel project". to be completely honest with ya, as of right now that project is being kinda neglected (*゚∀゚*);;;; i swear this always happens to my projects, i'm the worst--
so, i've decided to start from scratch! and, to make things more interesting, i'm making a youtube channel entirely revolved around it! i've been inspired by youtuber H.C. Brown who is dedicating lots of her videos to her animation project and i kinda want to do the same thing, with voiceovers and stuff, i think that'll be a cool thing to do - and it probably would make me focus on the project more! (´ω`*) i'm looking forward to your feedback for this!! <3

i honestly can't wait to be back with full energy - i love this place so so much and all of you wonderful peeps who always comment on my paintings, who keep me company on skype and discord and who believe in me and enjoy what i do!
i promise i'll deliver to you everything and more, you just give me time!
i'm not here to "make it big" or whatever, but i feel like i can do so much better than this, and that i can become so much better myself! i'm enjoying my stay here and i hope i can thank you, and this place, in some way, someday.(^ω^)

tysm for reading all of this if you did <3 y'all finna woke
heyooo i'm getting core membership soon!! i have all the points, i just need to prepare some coding for my page ( ╹ਊ╹)

i'm going for an ugly myspace + vaporwave aesthetic which won't work and i'm here for it!!!

going to change my nickname as well so pleaaase stay tuned or you won't know who's this anymore hahahaha,,,
(and leave suggestions if you want bc i'm clueless)
hi.
i'll tell ya right off the bat- as of right now, i'm not in the most comfortable situation.
i meant to make this journal yesterday to thank you all for 100+ watchers and to announce a raffle or contest or something like that. but that's not happening. at least, not right now.

i'm a lonely person. i don't hang out with friends. i don't have friends.
so, when something like this happens, i don't have anyone on my side. it's me against everyone else. which could mean that... i'm in the wrong. right?

and i am, partially. because i can't control myself, because i have issues, because of a certain time period of my past.

but what else can i do now, besides apologizing and keeping my distance?

i didn't mean for any of it to happen, i promise. why would i?

but apparently, it's easier to gang up on somebody who's trying their best instead of focusing on the real issue.
it's easier to laugh in their face while they're crying their fucking heart out in front of everyone, begging for forgiveness.

i don't have an ego, really. i don't care. but even i recognize that i literally had to humiliate myself to gain a little bit of concern.

i've been changed and broken down by this person, and they still want to ruin me more.

and what's the worst part of all this? it's that i understand them. because of our past, i know that my words and actions have a different weigth when directed towards them. and i get that they want to ruin me because i hurt them, even if i never meant to. they've hurt me too, and maybe this is the reason behind this huge tension between us in the first place.

it's like... not even i want to be on my side. isn't that a little fucked up? am i really that insecure?

or am i just way too rational for my own good? surely, i'm overthinking as well. but i can't help feeling a little disappointed in myself.
for not realizing things sooner, and acting the way i did.

i just want someone, you know? someone who is willing to help me, and talk to me on days like these.

if you have experience with anger management issues, anxiety and/or panic attacks, please help me.