Listening to: My brain as I think about my job
Before someone goes off and thinks this is about them or that I'm going to mention names, no. There won't be any of that here. Some factors may contribute to watchers like yourselves, to people you may know, or people you may not know, but there will be no defamation of character here. Just personal thoughts to vent out so I can focus on my day job.
Friendship in the current age, is it worth it? Is it natural or is it just a business practice? Often times, the line gets blurred and that's where problems lie. You may know someone for years and you may speak to them often on familiar terms, but does this really make them "friends"?
Around 10 years ago, I heard a riddle passing around. "What takes a lifetime to build, but seconds to ruin?" Often times, the answer is one's reputation, but it can go deeper. Emotional health, friendships, pride, trust, confidence, all of these also happen to be intangible goods that can effect one's life.
But where does this come into play in the face of friendship? Aside from being in the same list, any of the factors can attribute to it. "Friends" are often defined as people who offer support to one's growth or recovery while having shared interests, however, shared interests alone can often be misunderstood as a foundation towards a friendship...this is one such misconception that I've experienced time and again which has led to several downfalls into the trainwreck that is my mental and emotional health.
Even if someone does appear to care about your growth or recovery, are they your friends? Unfortunately, this is where the line blurs again as ulterior motives are now at play. Several times there's someone in a relationship where persons A and B are in a seemingly healthy relationship and publicly display this. The next month, they've broken up and what were once sugar-coated words of kindness have now become fists coated with poison. What happened? The answer is often defined as a misunderstanding due to poor communication from one person or both persons, both in terms of sending and receiving.
People can say "You'll always be my friend", "But we can still be friends", or "anything for a friend", but do these phrases ever mean as they are written? Rarely do, today's communication is more about the subtext than the spoken message itself, which understandably makes matters worse.
Another issue is about posturing. People say to be yourself, but what they don't tell you is that at the same time, you shouldn't be yourself. Often times, people will pretend to be someone they are not or hide deep down who they are or aspects that are part of their core definitions. When these aspects are discovered, these individuals can be labeled as tainted goods and discarded instantaneously when time and circumstance make individuals far more complex than the surface "issue". All the posturing just to attract someone...a friend, someone popular, a potential love interest, a distant family member, an investor...all make it far more complex (sans the investor in which a mask must be worn 100% of the time, making your presence more as a commodity worthy of an investment rather than as a person).
Any friendship or relationship is often based on factors that are prone to error, yet to err is human. So, how can it be measured or defined by today's standard? In my experience, the answer is within the term "vulnerability" as well as "empathy". If both parties are as (or similarly) vulnerable towards one another, then a bond may be established. Of course, with "pity" and "posturing" at play, this too becomes blurred territory.
Though I define vulnerability as a defined basis towards friendship, that is not to say it is without further error. To display vulnerability, it is the same as taking a loan, placing a bet, or even to make an investment on the stick market or making a simple transaction. The situations on this list involve the American Dollar...money. but what does the humble dollar or simple penny reflect? Originally, it was to say how much gold in the federal reserve was in your name...gold you owned. Today, however, it is the Fiat system which is literally the most simple intangible good to exchange. Trust!
This is to say that when you purchase something like a sandwich, you trust the seller that the product (or in other cases, service) is of a satisfactory quality and worthy 9f being trusted. The same is said for friendships, where trust is the payment for goods and services. In this way, friendships are perfectly understandable, but so are all ulterior motives. Pardon the business major perspective.
Is friendship really worth the investment? Sometimes, yes, but only if you're willing to risk your trust in another person. It is true that I have friends, but I'm not sure how long they'll last and often wonder if the investment was worth it. I trust some more than others, but the largest problem is how much it will sting if those investments go awry.
I'm all for friendship, but for now, I'm tired of the sting and am not willing to invest any further in new ventures.
That's all I have to say about that. Now I can focus on the primary occupant of my daily life, my job.