I looked at this and a few follow-up pages, and I like where you are going in terms of style. The look and feel has a certain folkloric and tribal quality that's distinct and also suits the subject matter. The heavy use of black in the shadows helps to enhance this feel, but IMO you should go even further with utilizing bolder lines. These were your most engaging pages/drawings, personally.
Going off that, the thinner lines are sometimes getting lost where there is more detail, and you are generally losing a lot of visual weight and "pop" in areas like the bottom panel on this page. I can tell you're trying to use the leaves as foreground to provide depth and give a POV view, but the crosshatching isn't providing enough contrast to keep them from getting lost. In general, I feel like you're still figuring out how to convey detail while also pulling the reader in visually. More bold lines in areas you want to emphasize, along with deeper shadows in your crosshatching and more negative space to create that emphasis would probably help. The 2nd panel on the 2nd page, for instance, is one of your strongest and best in terms of achieving this balance.
More technical... IDK if you're on a lower gamma monitor, but the blacks are not coming through deep and rich, a lot of the lifework to build those area shows on my end. This is usually how ink work scans, and increasing white levels to dodge out the paper or pencil lines tends to make it worse. I have always had to increase black levels to fix it. If it's not visible on your monitor, you might want to calibrate. Could be an issue printing, esp if you're going direct from file.
Your feedback is great, and I will definetely work on fixing the points you make about contrast, using bolder lines and cross hatching. I took a good look at the pages you mentioned, and I understand exactly what you mean where I should work on. I will use this feedback in my upcoming pages and go back later to the other pages to adjust those aswell. My plan was to first make 30 pages and then create a demo book for all-round feedback. The idea is to make 80-100 page comics. Criticism like yours is exactly what I am looking for.
About the blacks not coming through deep and rich, I have taken notice, I do see indeed that it has kind of a white hue over it, and that it looks a little spotty/smudgy, good that you mention this. I have all my scanned worked luckily saved for photoshop, so I might be able to fix this issue with some digital enhancement on stronger black/white contrast. I will see about how to fix that.
Again, thank you so much for your criticism, I value it a lot. I will look to improve on it and make things more pleasing to the eye!
With kind regards,
Been working on a lot of lore, storyboards and creating a complete fantasy world to create stories/comics around it.
I will probably upload a new folder with concept art to give the world of 'Eziagoth' and upcoming stories/comics more perspective, haha.