shinnyhell

FIRSTS AND LASTS

FIRST JOB: selling some handmade accessory

FIRST SELF PURCHASED TAPE/CD: i think it's sherina's.... the pink-white one. i don't remember.

FIRST ENEMY: a boy from kindergarten. he's annoying s hell and he kept on bugging me.

FIRST BIG TRIP: 'big' as in with close friends, i think to my friend's (nia's) villa for the weekend (we just need to escape from our daily basis) and celebrate indy's bday.

LAST BOOK READ: did online manga counted? and loooong fanfiction?

LAST MOVIE SEEN: ................................i completely forgot. haven't really watched anything since 2011 started. oh, beside online streaming of some anime and k-drama.

LAST BEVERAGE DRANK: water. just the plain old water

LAST FOOD CONSUMED: 4 toasted breads and meat and potato.

LAST PHONE CALL: elsa.

LAST CD PLAYED: i dont have cd. all my songs came from internet.

LAST ANNOYANCE: GUSTAV. nuff said.

LAST SODA DRANK: coca cola ofc. *ish a cola maniac*

LAST ICE CREAM EATEN: i think it's a cream caramel with some crunch...i dont really read it, i just ate it.

LAST WEBSITE VISITED: deviantart.com.... and my college's blackboard website.

THINGS ABOUT ME

I AM: me. dea. dee. just me.

I WANT: ....currently? i want all of my housemates to stay with me forever? well except one =_=

I HAVE: homeworks. which i should've started working on instead of going somewhere randomly with my friends and even stranded on the library and doing loooooooong meme.

I WISH: i wish i got what i wanted. duh.

I HATE: lots of things that if you wrote it down could beat harry potter number 4 and 5 combined. awesome right?

I FEAR: my phobia...? no, it's more like a disgust+hate+asdfghadkushdliuejdblfjdsf. i fear..... the mighty DEADLINES.

I HEAR: a song blasting to my ear from my headphones. SHINee's "seuchyeohganda gue saram soneul jabeun chae~~~~~"

I SEARCH: currently? high top sneakers, i want adidas wings, silver or white. or any other hi top sneakers. i just need a new sneakers. I-NEED-IT.

I WONDER: how could i answer this question.

I REGRET: well, some things. but it doesn't really matter anymore. it's passed already.

I LOVE: .............................................................................................cookies? OH COME ON EVERYONE LOVES COOKIES.

I ALWAYS: been crazy. and stuck in my own world. and of course the ultimate one, having a delusion.

I AM NOT: happy with my belly fat and my thighs fat.

I DANCE: to k-pop. following the choreography of course.

I SING: when i'm alone, happy, or with my close-est friends. GDI I MISS THEM ;_;

I CRY: just few minutes ago, the wind was like idk how many km/hr and it hit me right to my face. tch, winds.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: quiet. or loud. duh.

I WRITE: FANFICSSSSS. random ones, mostly song-fic or song-inspired fics. and ofc abt my OTPs.

I WIN: monoply against denis, paul, and ales in the weekend. A-HA-HA-HA i won against denis over $4000 dudes! BAHAHAHAHA

I LOSE: a lot.

I CONFUSE: "people who dont understand my way of thinking" -tiara (well i agree, totally agree with this.)

I NEED: A FUCKING SNEAKERS.

I SHOULD: do my homeworks.

YES OR NO:

YOU KEEP A DIARY: no.

YOU LIKE TO COOK: just the dessert and cakes, cookie, etc.

YOU HAVE A SECRET YOU HAVE NOT SHARED WITH ANYONE: yep.

YOU HAVE A CRUSH: ............*COUGHS*

YOU THINK YOURE A HEALTH FREAK: not really...but if it's about hygiene....

YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: kinda. my dad.

YOU LIKE THUNDERSTORMS: i'm fine with them.

CURRENT HAIR COLOR: black

EYE COLOR: black

BIRTHPLACE: Jakarta, Indonesia

FAVORITES:

NUMBER: 7 and 9

COLOR: blue and green

DAY: sunday

MONTH: october

SONG(S): ok someone tell me how to fit every songs i loved here. but if i have to choose in less than 1 minute i'll choose SS501-Wasteland

SEASON: spring&autumn

DRINK: tea

CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: CHOCO MILK

VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE: choco, eventhough my perfume is 'vanilla'

IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU:

HELPED SOMEONE? yes

BOUGHT SOMETHING? nope

GOTTEN SICK? *shrugs* cant even check my temperature because it's still freaking winter in here, YES. IN CANADA, MARCH, SNOWING. FUCKYEAH., and my hands are freezing.

GONE TO THE MOVIES? no

GONE OUT FOR DINNER? nah

SAID "I LOVE YOU"? i don't remember.... i remember saying "i hate you" though....

WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL?: 'human'-ish journal, no. 'netizen'-ish-digital-journal: yes, heck, even this is a journal =_=

HAD A SERIOUS TALK?: kinda. but time difference being a cockblock so we have to put those in a 'draft'

MISSED SOMEONE? hell yes.

HUGGED SOMEONE? if that considered 'hugging'....yes?

FOUGHT WITH YOUR HUSBAND? WAIT. I HAVE A HUSBAND?

FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? only one sided....not even serious....

FOUGHT WITH YOUR CHILDREN? WHUT I HAVE CHILDREN TOO???? WHERE HAVE I BEEN SERIOUSLY.

WOULD YOU EVER:

EAT A BUG? it's just like if you asked would i ever get close to my phobia, fuck no.

HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX? never thought of that, i don't think i will though.

BE A VEGETARIAN? i'm just as carnivore as a lion in africa and this question still popped up anyway. awesome.

GIVE UP EATING DESSERTS FOR A MONTH? NO WAY. if this happened, IT MUST BE SOME SORT OF AN ALIEN TOOK OVER MY BODY.

IM A STRANGER? no thanks, i'm too busy with life.

STAR IN A PORN VIDEO? maybe not.

DYE YOUR HAIR BLUE? i want to try, the temporary like 'splash with water and it's gone'-temporary ones.

BE ON SURVIVOR? nah. i'm good with my laptop and cookies in my room.

MAKE SOMEONE CRY? sure. why not? beside some of it was like cry of happiness and shock. well, like 5% of it.

YELL AT YOUR CHILDREN? if i had one, maybe i'll yelled "MOMMY LOVES YOU!!!!!" when i have to let him/her go (like 1st day of school or whatever)

i'm accepted.

YEAH~!
CANADA I'M COMING <3

XD~

SS501 MANSAE!
TRIPLE S MANSAE!

this will be epic.
14 livejournal fanfic authors in one collaboration project.
designed be me (clarene.lj) and unay (illuminationkey.livejournal.com)

please support us. <3


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ahaha.
i dont really know why i'm writing this dA journal right now.
perhaps i only need a place to get out this things in my mind?

yeah.
so, i was listening to SS501's songs tonight.
and somehow a song that's not a SS501's was misplaced in the playlist.
it's DHT - "Listen to Your Heart" (slow version)

while i was listening to that song....all memories from my JHS're bursting out. good old memories. angsty memories.
i want to go back to that moment...


i remembered when i'm still in love with naruto.
when the story's still make way much more sense.
and when tobi is just...tobi, the goofy newcomer. not an uchiha. not madara.

the particullar moment that glued to this song is....when my favourite character died.
Deidara.
i read this at school. after school ends to be exact. my mood was just dropped back then.

yeah, i was a lurker on quizilla and dA back then.
i read and ship SasoDei (Sasori/Deidara)
i read an super angst fic about deidara die and sasori was waiting for him and tobi's crushed. his heart shattered to pieces.
yes, the fic is actually OT3. Sasori/Deidara + Deidara/Tobi i still remember the way the author describe how happy...and yet sad deidara is when he saw sasori's spirit and looking at tobi from the tree branch.
it was the first time i fell in love with angst fic. and this one made my mood even gloomier than before.

i remember looking at a fanart about it too. it's ToDei (tobi/deidara) thou.
and the fanart is inspired by this song.
tobi entered deidara's room in akatsuki lair and he saw deidara's photo with sasori and he took of his mask and cried. (the artist didn't draw his face, she only draw tobi's tear stained cheek + mouth)
i was teary when i saw this fanart while listening to the song.

and a fanvid.
yes. same song, same OT3 pairing.
she got the fanarts from dA, google, and wherever she can found.
she did an amazing job.
i cried.


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try to listen the song, listen closely to the singer's emotion and the piano sounds, catch every words that she said, pay attention to all the whispers and echoes.

"listen to your heart, when he's calling for you.
listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do.
i don't know where're you going, and i don't know why.
but listen to your heart, before... you tell him 'goodbye'."

it's a very beautiful song.

it's finished.
i've submitted everything to CESI.
now i just have to pray and wait for the result.

they say the result'll came around the second week of oct-nov

i cant even express my nervousness mixed with my IDC-anymore-ness.

i wish i got accepted.
if not, i'm doomed. i'm dead.

but reza from cesi said there's a lot of people who's interested in that program and...i dont know.

i just feel that i'm not good enough.
i really dont know.
i dont really care about it in some way. i mean, i've submitted it. what's done is done. i cant do anything anymore to help it. (except praying. yes.)

i just kinda....stressed?

maybe. IDK.

kkk... i dont know lots of things. even things about myself.

NOW! stop being gloomy and start writing dee.
yup. i'm back to my LJ~

clarene.livejournal.com

almost every fanfics i've wrote're for publics and it's onkey.

i've posted "morning conversation"
and i'm editting "reflected glances (the ff)" yaaaay XD
i'll post it tonight?

and, planning to wrote another wheehyun aka wheejong aka wheesung/jonghyun

OF COURSE I'M A YAOI WRITER.
isn't that obvious? kkkk.

Finished:
Off Guard
Quasimodo
Magic Dust
Aquarium
Angel
Knight
Key
Scythe

Unfinished:
Station (sketch)
Mid-Autumn (rough sketch)
Ride (planned)
Rain (planned)
Fairy (planned)

deadline: October.

yeah...
so........
brb drowning myself in some frozen lake.