seeing as I've disappeared for the past few months I figured it was time to rear my
ugly big moderately egg-shaped
head again ouo
I've wanted to write an update journal for a while, but every time I sit down, I take so long to write it that I'm eventually "oh snap I should be writing Essence/homeworking/petting annoying cat so he will go away and stop drooling on my keyboard."
I talked about going to see the sleep doctor in June and actually had my sleep study at the end of August (lol yeah I've been meaning to write a journal for that long. worship me, the goddess of procrastination), where I did an overnight test and then stayed the following day and took a 20-minute nap every 2 hours (5 total, from 9 til 5.) It took me forever to fall asleep during my night study because I'm not used to sleeping as the humble cyborg does (with tubes up my nose and adhesives all up in my hair) and (prepare for TMI) spent around 2 of the 8 hours having to pee, telling myself to just ignore the pee and pass out because I didn't want to bother the technician to unplug me so I could
get up and pee (even though that was his job), finally caving and asking him to unplug me, laying down, and then having more performance anxiety pee 5 minutes later. Happened once before I fell asleep, then again after I woke up after sleeping for like 4 hours xD I learned to respect the call of nature that night.
But anyway, did the daytime sleepiness test the next morning, went to follow-up the next week. My overnight sleep was normal, but I fell asleep 4 out of the 5 20-minute naps, sometimes 4 minutes in, sometimes later, even when I thought I was awake the whole time. So that's super encouraging to think that I may be "asleep" when driving and not even realize it, but at least I don't hit REM behind the wheel and dream that I'm playing Mario Kart and just be all "YEAAAAH LIVIN ON THE eDGGGGGGGEEE" and drive off a cliff and expect to be dropped back on the track by a fishing cloud turtle. The doctor diagnosed me with narcolepsy, though it's on the less severe side of the spectrum (meaning I won't be able to stay awake a lot of the time, but I won't just pass out in the middle of a conversation or driving) and I don't have cataplexy (which means I won't randomly faint when I laugh really hard or get surprised). But I'm happy to finally have an explanation for all the classes, sermons, lectures, and afternoons I couldn't stay awake through (and now I know I'm not just 'lazier' than other people, though I've thought that for quite a while oDo). I enjoy sleeping, but I hate how much having to sleep has held me back. So I'm glad I can do something about it, though I'm still trying to find the right medication. The one I'm taking now seems pretty great, though. And coffee never hurts, either ouo I'm still having trouble with depression, but I'm taking it one day at a time and savoring every opportunity and happy moment I'm blessed with.
LIFE-RANT DONE NOW THOUGH. I've been working on rewriting Essence almost every chance I get, squeezing it in between classes and work, and while I know there's tons of work to be done, I'm really feeling good about it. I know I'm the worst about updates, but since I'm just in the process of writing, I don't feel there's a lot I can say. But if you guys have any questions
(ANY AT ALL) then I will be more than happy to answer. Know that I haven't given up - and I won't give up, because making this story a reality means more to me than just about anything (I definitely care more about it than college, but unfortunately, college still comes first ;D; buh)
For all 7 routes combined, I'm estimating 500,000+ words (which is probably insanely optimistic), but I want to provide the richest, most satisfying experience I can. I intend to make every word count, however - no rambling, purple-prosey, drawn-out scenes like before. While I was rethinking the story for a few months, I didn't reinvent Alice, but I think I've carved out a much more successful (albeit more insane
While I plan on doing the art myself, I would really love an original soundtrack, too. That's too far ahead, and I can't compose myself, but it'd be so amazing ;-; In time, I hope to upload my art concepts (for the GUI, sprites, bgs, etc.).
I also wanted to ask - also too far ahead - but what would you guys think of a pay-what-you-want operation at the game's release
? You could download and play for free
, but a fraction of the proceeds would go to me, the majority to specific charities and causes. While actualizing the game is enough satisfaction for me, I would be overjoyed if my work could not only make a player happy but improve others' lives. I would like Essence's scope to extend beyond itself, if it can...and in a perfect world, I would love to channel my art and writing into the enrichment and improvement of someone else's life and happiness - daily.
I think that's all, but again, please hit me with any questions
(Essence-related or not)! I hate how inactive I am on DA these days, but I think about you guys every day. ):
Let's all just pitch in and share an apartment and eat pizza and party errday and be independently wealthy on our dreams' fruition, okay? Okay. Yup. You have no choice. You're coming with me. NOW. DON'T STRUGGLE. GET IN THE CAR FHAIFSHfa - //tranquilized and carted away