Essence excerpt 3 - Acer/StevenA/N: This Acer scene (which won the poll an embarrassingly long time ago...I know v.v) takes place Alice’s third day in the oasis, the night after she overhears Mak and Ada confirm her fears of murdering the scientists. She quietly listens until Acer finds her and unintentionally alerts the others to her presence; when Mak walks out, as much at a loss as her, Alice returns to her room as though nothing happened. When Cath, who sleeps in an elaborate, windowed alcove (“gazebo”) in her room, discovers her intentions to leave the oasis, he argues with her until she malfunctions and lets the green consume her. After waking nearly twenty-four hours later, she freaks out: she didn’t even fight what could have become another nightmarish coma.When Alice goes to open the door, the story branches into different character scenes – this is Steven’s and Acer’s, since the plot does not branch into totally separate routes yet.
Essence excerpt 2 - StevenA/N: Since he won the poll, here’s one of Steven’s shorter scenes with a transition into one of Daemon’s at the end. Like the last excerpt, it’s still pretty rough, so feedback is not only welcome but treasured and mounted on my wall…except not really. Please. I’m not that creepy.This takes place on Alice’s fifth day, her second in the “oasis.” She is uncertain how her new acquaintances will affect her future, which is largely uncertain itself; despite her plans to leave the hideout, she enjoys their company after so much isolation.I don’t think anything needs explaining other than “Dave” and “Sonya,” two radio hosts from an unsettling broadcast Alice hears on her second night, and Ivan’s partners: Grime is “short” and “always fuming” like before, as Steven says, but Putrice now has a robotic arm. The "game" Steven and Acer mention is the "c
Essence script excerpt from second nightA/N: PLEASE READ THIS FIRST SO THE PASSAGE MAKES SENSE. LIKE SRS IT WILL BE GOBBLEDYGOOK OTHERWISE.This is a lousy - I mean..."unpolished" excerpt from my WIP script of Essence, which I have been rewriting for the past several months. So I can focus on cranking out the story, I'm waiting until I am ~100% finished to start editing and overhauling. I haven't caught any gross technical errors in this passage, but it IS the first draft, so the style, content, and syntax are subject to change. Thus, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts. Seriously, don't hold back - be as critical, honest, or 'wat shin wth is this trash' as you wish. I promise I can beat myself up much better than you or anyone else can, so don't worry about hurting my feelings! If you haven’t played the demo, I wouldn’t read this excerpt, since it assumes the reader is familiar with the plot and characters. If you have, though, I still need to explain a few things.Due to malfuncti