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Stefan Karl 1975-2018

Journal Entry: Tue Aug 21, 2018, 4:04 PM


8/21- For someone who was never meant for this world, I must confess I am suddenly having a hard time actually leaving it. Of course, they say every atom in our bodies was once part of a star. Maybe I'm not leaving... Maybe I'm going home.

Oh, is there anything more difficult than finding that one comforting word in such an uncomfortable time? For the moment I am speechless and memories, like paparazzi cameras, are triggered by the most simple and unexpected of words, actions, and even music ... “We’re Number #1"

There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief, Aeschylus said. And right now Stefan Karl is absolutely everywhere and all set to a Thomas Newman soundtrack. Memories of  Cake and dancing. (Drat! foiled again!) My youngest Vada in the living room hopping around to bing bang. There are also personal memories away from the screen and stage that aren’t mine, but were so blessed to have been a witness too of his children, watching their growing up on Facebook, and the incredible love for his wife. Stefan was my age. We were born the same year. In fact I’m older, just slight by about four months. I thought I was prepared for this. He told everyone, I knew the chances were slight, but I’m in shock none the less.

I’m so sorry, Stina. God, I’m bawling! I’ve had to stop a handful of times already to type this. I’m so very sorry. Thank you Stefan for the joy you gave to my children. Constant, dedicated, and loyal joy. Thank you so very much for allowing me to share my art with you, to have you enjoy it and chuckle too. It’ll always mean the world and I can only pray that you know that for absolute certain in the lofts above.

 STEFÁN KARL STEFÁNSSON
July 10, 1975 – August 21, 2018


~Shinju



May the best artist win!

Journal Entry: Sun Jul 15, 2018, 7:05 PM


7/16- It is fair week in Western New York. Yesterday I went up to the Floral Hall to drop of my entries for my 2018 “Access The Arts” exhibit. Judging happened today and then the fair will officially open its gates for the week starting Monday. 

I decided this year to enter in and go for the one prize that I have yet to earn — The George Peterella Award. It is bestowed upon the artist who places first in oils. Because the cash reward that comes with this trophy is so high, you can imagine how stiff the competition is. Also, oil painting has never been my biggest forte. I can do it of course, but I have always generally been a mixed medium artist in doing portraits; relying heavily on a combination of graphite, watercolors, and acrylics. I’ve seen some of my competition already. All I can say is good luck to all of us and may the best artist win.

I will be showing those works here momentarily.


~Shinju



Vicious Visions is now on Redbubble!

Journal Entry: Sun Jan 28, 2018, 6:21 PM


1/28- Whoa! Vicious Visions is now on Redbubble?! Yup, yup, yup! Announcing at long last my newly launched RedBubble shop! I’ve already begun uploading some of my most popular and requested works and am excited to see them on some other products that I can’t really say that I had ever considered before – blankets, scarves, skins, journals, stickers, postcards & more!

SHOP VICIOUS VISIONS :below:



I have to admit that I’m a little astonished –okay, a lot still– by what is possible today for artists. For instance, the very first piece that I put up on my shop was the “Undertaker Fox All Over” print design because it harkened me back to the very first shirt print anything I had ever sold of my work. Back at the start of the 1990's, in those earlier days of the Undertaker fanclub, official merchandise amounted to several trips to the Kwik Kopy downtown, lots of xerox, and iron on stickers. *lol* Great merch in its day, but obviously SO much better now! So much! I mean, come on! An Undertaker Fox blanket?! Admit it. You know you always wanted one.

Anyway, I certainly hope that if you are a fan of my work that you will stop in and check it out. Lend me some support, smash some likes, and grab an awesome shirt from yours truly! Aside from upcoming original designs, featured current collections include the ART OF PLOTS-N-TOMBSTONES, GOTHIC, ANIME & MECHA

~Shinju

                                
Joy Stamp by GoodiesForYou<da:thumb id="191658091"/> Fox lover Stamp by JazzaX I love green stamp by violetsteel



Artistic hallelujah God Tech

Journal Entry: Sun Jan 21, 2018, 7:56 AM


1/21- ARG! I am sick as a dog right now! Why is it that we say, sick as a dog? Anyone? No clue here, but I am. Got a major sinus infection, can't smell, ears hurts, head hurts, you know, the WORKS. Course it could be much worse. I could have that deadly strand of the flu that’s been running around the country. Well, in spite of my scratchy throat and medicine head, I’ve actually been feeling rather positive these few days – even excited! For two reasons. One of which I’d like to thank my daughter for, although probably unknowingly. Jewel received a ‘Overwatch’ game fan fiction/artbook that she showed me the other day. This was my first real time being able to see a book, not from Japan or doujin, like that using the independent, self-publish choices that are available today that I want to use for Metatisic and the Windowknocker’s 25th anniversary. These honest-to-God, bookstore quality options just were not a thing back in the early to mid-90's when the Windowknocker was first released. Understandably so -and nonetheless- it was a product of its era, limited to what was available to me at the time: Mostly Xerox and spiral-bind. I’m just really excited. It really revs me up because I can see what they’re going to look like for you fans when I get this all finished. Sky’s the limit!  

Part two to my excitement is this incredible piece of artistic, hallelujah tech! The UGEE HD 2150 DRAWING MONITOR!



I’ve been eyeballing this beaut for the better of a year now, but hadn’t had a good opportunity to indulge on one until now; especially not with all that went down last year. I'll be getting this bad boy around my birthday next month.

I really am such a stubborn traditionalist. I know. I know. Always have been. When I first got Adobe it took me a solid year to even try to use it! And It’s not that I haven’t ‘wanted’ a tablet. It’s a lot more due to the fact that up until the past few recent years, the majority of all wacom-type tablets required holding this digital pen to an all black board while looking up straight forward at the PC screen to follow the cursor there while ‘inking’ your work. Obviously there’s a sh*t ton of people out there who can successfully do this and apparently I am NOT one of these gods. *ashamed* *lol*

— Alright. Okay. Let me explain. The fundamental difference (and biggest for me) between the older generation graphics tablet and the traditional artist approach is that when you draw normally, the image appears in the same exact place as the pen. With a graphics tablet, that image appears in a completely different place to the pen in your hand. I just couldn’t seem to compensate this.

And it didn’t make any sense to me either! *rips hair out* I could use a mouse! Why is it I could use a PC mouse in my Adobe Photoshop to color just fine --and with my right hand to boot-- but I just couldn’t seem to overcome this strangeness when it came to using a Wacom?!

I bought my first graphics tablet about 6 or so years ago; a Wacom Intuos 3 after becoming inspired by what I was seeing other artists being about to achieve with it. It lit a fire and I ached to try it. At first I thought it was just because it was foreign in comparison to paper and pencil/pen. However, after several weeks and I still couldn’t draw anywhere close to what I was doing on paper. I was so disappointed. Defeated, I eventually just sold it. It was obvious to me that technology was going to have to grow a little bit more for the likes of me. Anyway, I’m excited *rubbing hands*


~Shinju

                                
Joy Stamp by GoodiesForYou<da:thumb id="191658091"/> Fox lover Stamp by JazzaX I love green stamp by violetsteel



Silent, but POWERFUL motivation!

Journal Entry: Fri Jan 19, 2018, 5:22 PM


1/19 - It’s funny how some things, mundane, seemingly casual day-to-day objects, that never speak a single uttered word can become the biggest motivators in our lives at just the right moment for a new year outlook. Let me explain:

So about 4 years ago, I had bought this ponytail palm tree on discount at my local Home Depot. Still in its starter pot, it was a mere 9" inches tall at the time and cost me a whole five dollars. Flash forward through two pot upgrades later to the end of the summer and it had grown a total of two additional branches and was nearing 3½' feet tall.

—But then October arrived and something happened! My pony palm’s leaves shriveled! Not just wilted, but just simply died! Or so it seemed. I tried so hard to save it – pruning its dead leaves and branches. Personal theories abounded in my head; Had I over watered it? Had it taken a cold? Maybe I hadn’t watered it enough?! Either way, come Thanksgiving time. I was left with a bulbous rooty base and the dried husk stubs of its former branches. What on Earth could have happened?

With nothing really left to do and with the winter setting in, I allowed my poor palm to go dry for the rest of the month before I rinsed it and then set it off in a corner of the living room.

This is what I found the other day:


Brand new shoots!

Trees dominate my work – leaves, plants. Doesn’t take too long going through my library of artwork to find their ample reflections. Even the emblem of my art studio is the Yggdrasil, the Tree of Life. It has been for many a year now, watermarked on every piece I present to the public. It all made me look back on the previous. It made me look back on my stroke, the loss of my marriage, and about how stagnant I had felt since. This ongoing grayness about my life. Nothing was drastically ‘wrong’; I just didn’t feel the kind of magical-ness about life that I once felt. Felt about my art, felt about friends, felt about almost everything! I was so unfulfilled.

I thought about those new shoots popping through that hard dense bulb and quite frankly I saw my life. I saw the trees I paint. The old oak and maple leaves were beautiful in their time – from the pale greens when the buds first appeared through to the grand finale of fiery reds, oranges and yellows – but there comes a point when the branches need to let go, to move on from this magnificent past in order to embrace the future. The trees must shed their old leaves to allow new ones to grow in spring. It’s a risk, of course: they can’t be 100% sure that new leaves will come, or that they will be as beautiful as last year’s. The trees must trust in an uncertain process, putting their faith in nature’s power. And you know what, maybe it won’t work – maybe they will be damaged by a particularly aggressive frost, maybe there won’t be enough rain – but then when autumn comes again the trees can once more shed their old leaves and get another chance the following year.

“You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” Columbus once said.

It’s unnecessary for trees to hoard their dead leaves, trying to save up for next year. Nature provides the nutrients it needs to create new and abundant foliage in the spring, and in fact it is by releasing the old leaves to the earth that provides the compost for nourishing the soil.  Hanging on to what is dead and no longer serves us hinders the ability for the new, stronger buds to open.  Nature’s philosophy: It is better to let go of clinging to the past, so that we can become the best of who we are today.

Letting the leaves fall also requires me to face fears of the future.  I realize I  must step out into the unknown, trusting that something is supporting me in heaven above. But just as the trees let go of their undergrowth, having full faith that spring will come and new leaves will burst forth, I can have that faith through the rest winter, too.

~Shinju


                                
Joy Stamp by GoodiesForYou<da:thumb id="191658091"/> Fox lover Stamp by JazzaX I love green stamp by violetsteel



For most of us with busy lives it's quite common to feel under the weather sometimes —flush, faint, dizzy, exhausted or weak, maybe even momentarily confused. Usually it's a passing commotion, caused by lack of sleep, an infection or, in my case I thought, way too much stress. After all, in the last five years alone I had lost a dear friend of mine; a huge anchor of stability and confidence in my life, endured 3 separate surgeries, and now I was going through a pretty emotional separation this year with my husband of 26 years.

In short, I’ve had MUCH happier times and I was wondering where my enthusiasm had gone for the arts and all-around basic interest in the projects and sites that I used to enjoy. Something was wrong. I just didn’t want too and I was certain that all of this flustered confusion of mine was depression related.

Until July.

Too make a long story short (and with what little I can remember of it) earlier that morning I had taken another two Tylenols for a stubborn headache I had now since the day before. I had to run a few important errands and I had no time to deal with another afternoon spent on the sofa with a heat wrap, massaging my temples. Again, nothing too unusual detected here. I’ve had migraines before – Terrific ones! Ones that seemed far worse than the annoyance I was feeling today. By the way, I should add here that just two days earlier I had just completed most of the important detailing (at least 80% of it) on a portrait of my granddaughter, Sophie that would be headlining my exhibit this year at the county fair’s “Access The Arts”. Due to a surgery I had last year, I had been unable to compete and was looking forward to a comeback. I want to note this specifically because my intent was to document my work on progress on that painting here @ DeviantART, including other pieces in that exhibit, later on that coming weekend.

So I pop my Tylenols, run my chores, and I come home. Headache’s not as strong, but it’s not gone-gone either. I’m on the fence about this next part because I’m both thankful and sad that my 8-year old grandson, Noah and his best friend, Martin were at the house this day. I’m thankful that they were there because had I been alone the outcome could have been much different. I might not be here telling you all this. I am sad however because they had to see it and I know it frightened them both awfully : ( 

All I remember clearly and for certain is this. I sat down for my lunch and I had asked Noah to bring me my afternoon medication and a glass of water when I suddenly felt very nauseous and faint. I got up to run to the bathroom, I remember reaching the door or doorway and then it was spin —Black, flash, black, flash. I think I heard voices, but they sounded underwater to me. I remember grasping for the chair rail and that something next to me was shaking violently. My next clear memory is being on the floor and my grandson was screaming, crying if I was alright. I was trying to answer him. My mouth was open and yet I couldn’t speak. Nothing was coming out! I see my neighbor, Martin’s mother. He had apparently run to get her when this happened and suddenly I was being helped into the living room and being asked if I wanted to go to the ER.

 I lost at least 30 minutes of my life. I didn’t know this at the time. When I sat down to lunch it was 20 minutes after. When I left for the hospital it was almost 10 of. I don’t remember the drive to the ER. I don’t remember having to sign in, if I did, or anything. All I remember after this was a ‘knock-knocking’ on the room door and a nurse informing me that she was taking me down to CT scan. I wasn’t aware that I had even left my house at all!

At the risk of sounding a bit like Forrest Gump, that’s all I’ve got to say about that. Not to just suddenly deflate here, but because I honestly still don’t know all that happened for the rest of the day and next few days following it. Though at first informed that I had suffered a major seizure, scans eventually revealed that I had at least two earlier incidents of TIA.  TIA as in “transient ischaemic attack” which is, in a nutshell, a mini-stroke.

Wow, did it hit me! I had a stroke! — I had a freaking stroke!!

In retrospect however, with time now passed to digest and calm down, I realize that I’m actually quite fortunate. Not only am I blessed that I had others in the house with me when this worse one occurred, but that it also was not as severe (bad as it was) as some strokes can be. Although I’ve since had to change my eyeglass prescription and my short term memory is now complete sh*t, I did not suffer any permanent or debilitating loss of my limbs or speech. I can talk. I can type this. I can thankfully still draw and I can walk. I have a healthy homes worker who comes to see me and assist me with certain activities and appointments, but that’s whole lot of blessing right there to list.

Expect a number of updates soon. I have a backlog of work going back clear to July —My paintings and exhibition pieces that DID make it into the county fair, thank God, Homemade Halloween season 3, etc. All incoming shortly. If you’ve been writing me, messaging me, I apologize, but at least now you know what’s been up. I have over a thousand messages backlogged as a result of my absence and it’s going to take me some time to get back into the flow of things if you will.

~Shinju

The more knowledge one attains as they grow older, the more sensible they becomes of their ignorance; as the higher a traveler ascends a mountain, the more extensive prospect they see of regions beyond which they have never explored. Pleasure is a shadow, Wealth is vanity, Power a pageant, and we always somehow want to believe we have a million tomorrows to look forward too.

Did you know that the origin of “goodbye” is “God be with you”?

I really did not want this to be my first journal entry back. In fact I wanted to wait, even as the announcement regarding Stefan became concrete. I wanted to hold off, restore my CORE membership—which I let lapse. I had a situation with a close family relative that was looking very grave there for long awhile and although it is just as important and vital to me, I’m going to have let that hold so as to decompress my thoughts about this that have, quite frankly, become far too strong. Under such feelings I must confess that I felt myself laboring.

Save for when my beloved William passed away, I cannot recall another time in which I have felt more thoughtful, more deep in the meaning of life and existence than I do right now. I’m so very shocked; Like so many others here, LazyTown fans who have heard this news, I’m entirely stunned.

For those who don’t know who I am talking about, Stefan Karl played ‘Robbie Rotten’ on LazyTown, an icelandic television series that many of you following know that I’ve devoted enormous amounts of my talent to in the past. Oh my God, I did not know that it was so bad! I confess that, although completely aware, I had led myself into thinking that Stefan’s cancer had been detected in such early stages that it was fully treatable and therefore survivable. Yes, he would need surgeries, he would even have to endure some chemotherapy—but it was survivable, dammit! He’s gonna make it! I really believed this. I really, really did. Stefan’s wife dashed this perception to pieces over the weekend. Stefan’s cancer has advanced to Stage 4 and there’s no easy way to put it ....It’s going to take him from us.

In silence, one by one, earth's bonds dissever; We drop this dust, we yield our mortal breath, and still the soul lives on and on forever. So banishing doubts, pursuing hopes sublime, I live between Eternity and Time. The truth of this news is such a sad sunset. Yet grief grows patient at this hallowed thought that somewhere still the blessed sun is shining~

~Shinju



3/10- As I prepare artwork for the 30th part release of the TF G1 Metatisic Saga that I hope to have up tonight before I turn in, I took a moment away from the drawing board to talk to a friend who really is the reason why that book exist here on DeviantART. It made me think of ‘Megawave!’, which btw, is a piece from the very, very brand-new 2017 editions of the story which will start airing once the last of these remaining previous chapters are up *confetti, baby!*

That said ---- For you :iconnight-stalker13:



BEHOLD! MEGAWAVE!



“Cyclonus?”

He looked up to find Shockwave half-turned, and wondered at how much time had managed to slip away from him while he was lost in his own dimly remembered past. It seemed they'd traveled quite a distance into another part of the Iysurus entirely.

“Forgive me. I sometimes wonder how much time I have left. There is some instability in the modifications because I fought the process.” Cyclonus offered, his voice rough with emotions he couldn't hide.

Shockwave nodded solemnly. “I surmised as much with so much carbon buildup. What I can repair, I will.” That massive hand landed with surprising care on the jet's shoulder. “You did well, Decepticon Cyclonus, to fight so hard for what you knew to be right. Never doubt it.”

Something in him broke at the words and no easy reply came. This meant so much more than Shockwave could realize. It was possible the naked gratitude and pain were visible on his faceplate. Cyclonus wasn't sure. He was too busy trying to contain several embarrassing emotional reactions at once. He was not going to burst into tears. It wasn't a thing he could do in front of Shockwave.

The Guardian moved him ahead with a pat. “Come along. I'll introduce you to the security system to avoid any nasty accidents.”

It was a simple scanning process- stand in the archway, put one's optics up to the sensor- though probably high tech for the era. The sensor beams were warm, pleasant, as they took his biometrics and mapped his field. A green light showed he was now cleared as friendly by the system.

“I hate having to lock anything up, but honor isn't what...” Shockwave began as he walked through the doorway and into the lab, only to abruptly stop. "Goodness! What are you two doing!? And in my lab!"

Cyclonus, curious beyond reason, poked his head around the jamb.

Perched on Soundwave's blocky little shoulders, was Megatron. They'd been caught mid “ka-chunk” noise as they cleared a cabinet, pretending to be... something large and heavily armed. Soundwave's tightened grip on his playmate's peds betrayed a streak of fear upon noticing Cyclonus. The vinca jet tried to smile as he stepped into the lab fully, to ease the boy's likeliest fear that there would be klaxons or some kind of attack sounded shortly.

Megatron at least looked contrite but he didn't bother to get down off his friend's shoulders. He offered, "Soundwave saw some new specs you left on the computer for making smaller robots stick together and make big robots..."

The other boy's posture was now nothing but guilt, nearly unsettling the young prince. "Affirmative."

Shockwave crossed his arms, his tone encouraging further illumination. "Indeed...?"

Megatron's frustration was palpable, as if it should be obvious to all and sundry the great work they were doing. "So, I thought we'd try it!"

Shockwave's posture softened, his arms falling to his sides, and his em field fluctuated close to Cyclonus with what felt like laughter that he wasn't voicing. His words were still stern. "There's a lot of work that goes into such things, Young Majesty. Surgeries. Installations. Program adjustments. Compatibility tests... the Gestalt project is all very experimental as of yet. It will be some vorns before combination technology is available outside theory."

Megatron pouted. The boy could slag twenty times his weight in mechs even now, if he put his mind to it and managed to control his fear, but nothing in the known universe should be so dangerous while being so disarming. Adorable was not generally a term one applied to the Slag-maker, but it did recall Metatisic's disappointment over being made to wait. The King did not pout, of course, and it would be rude to suggest it.

Soundwave sighed, his harmonics sliding downward in dejection. "...we would have been very powerful."

"And smart," Megatron added. “The schematics said the the big robot's mind is a combination of all the little robots.” He huffed in frustration, “We would have been so smart.”

A small chuckle issued from Shockwave as his ears twitched. “Undoubtedly.”

Soundwave agreed with a nod that nearly unseated Megatron and sent Metatisic's son into a cheer, "We would have been awesome! MEGAWAVE!”

"Inquiry: Why does your name come first? " Soundwave puzzled, looking upward at Megatron.

"Because I'm the Prince.” Megatron offered as if it were plain, “Besides, Soundtron sounds ridiculous-- Oh, don't be sad. When I'm Dourjer you can be my second-in-command!" He patted Soundwave's helmet.

"Satisfaction. Onward, MEGAWAVE!" And Soundwave began to coordinate movements with Megatron towards the door, providing sound effects as if they were truly huge.

“Refuge in audacity may only cover you so far, Young Majesty.” Shockwave called after the boys, “Don't think I don't keep a log of every time you break in and show it to your Father.”

“Walk in” Megatron corrected, turning half way around on his perch, just past Cyclonus.

“Cheek!” Shockwave scolded.

~Shinju




                                


1/27- Can't say that my home feels much like the premiere adobe of love, but I got some Valentine's day decor up. Makes me feel better, oddly enough.

To leave behind or to be left behind? I often wonder which hurts more. One potentially comes with lifelong regret. The other with feelings of rejection. Tough call...

Well I risked my heart. We shared our lives. We bought the gifts, made the memories, and dreamed our dreams together — and now it has fallen apart, if not on the verge of doing so. Now, I’m seemingly back at the start in the quest for whatever once sparked the passions in our youth, searching for any tangible reason, believing that there was nothing that we could not overcome, and it feels lonelier than square one.

No one begins a life together with someone hoping to break it off someday. The wiring in most of us has us longing for ‘Til death do us part. After 26 years, we had long passed the ‘seven year itch’. I thought we had made it. In fact that was our song, Shania Twain ... “They said, "I bet they'll never make it" but just look at us holding on. We're still together still going strong..”

I know that I was, at least, ready for the next 20 something to bring it on.

This is perhaps the most personal, important status post I will be making here. I’ve never been one to air my dirty laundry for the world to see, but eventually even I know people are going to begin to talk, start to wonder, ask, and there’s just no point lying about it.

My husband Robert has informed me that he is leaving me. 26 years .... wow. 26 years together.

Why do so many long-united couples decide to split? How can people be so happy --to endure for so very long, only to then have the relationship turn sour in what was supposed to be our "golden years" together?

Now I DO know some of the answers, I just never thought that there would come a time when they would have to apply to us. In most cases, the reasons are far less dramatic then all the numerous elaborate scenarios my brain has been entertaining these few days. Some relationships have been in decline for years and finally lose all their juice. A union doesn't usually just blow up all of the sudden. It's more like a balloon that’s been seeping air for a long time. After a while, especially without talking or any attempt to patch the rupture, it's totally deflated.

We could accuse each other, Robert. We could stack blame and point fingers all day long for the rest of our lives but in the end, when it all boils down, we just didn’t talk. We didn’t talk and instead allowed the sun to go down on our upset night after night until it festered like a infected wound.

But even now ---right now, yesterday, even the week and months before, our God is a healer. If it is his will, then there is nothing too impossible or so far gone that he cannot mend it. Likewise, if his will is not for us to remain then he will surely help me to know who I am apart from it.

Hey, maybe I'll dye my hair
Maybe I'll move somewhere
Maybe I'll get a car
Maybe I'll drive so far
That I'll lose track
Me, I'll bounce right back

Maybe I'll sleep real late
Maybe I'll lose some weight
Maybe I'll clear my junk
Maybe I'll just get drunk on apple wine...

~Shinju




                                


12/20-

“We Spirits of Christmas do not live only one day of our year.
We live the whole three-hundred and sixty-five.
So is it true of the Child born in Bethlehem.
He does not live in men's hearts one day of the year,
but in all days of the year.”

 ~ The Ghost Of Christmas Present; A Christmas Carol (1951)


No Shinju-chan is not dead, but she has, in fact, been most busy! ...My God, I’m referring to myself in the third person. That’s what I get for being MIA since October. Although I do admit to having been a lurker incognito around Deviant a few times since then, I’ve been largely involved with more than a few dozen obligations, three private commissions for Christmas, helping my brother to move back in November, and my husband who is currently traveling coast to coast in the 18-wheeler Santa Clausing for UPS. Prayers & thoughts for him btw. The weather has been most treacherous is several states across the country w/ a number of pile-ups on the thurways. He always goes through my mind whenever I see such news on TV. However in any a case, I have a few artworks that I’ll be getting up sometime after Christmas. This week, now only 4 days to go, you can imagine my house is jumping with family traffic, cookie baking, and Christmas specials on TV, so if I do not get to say it at that time: As you relish the goodies, decorate every nook and corner of your home and enjoy the get-togethers, may the joy and festivities continue to radiate in all your lives, long after the season is gone.

A very Blessed Merry Christmas & a bright and shining 2017! Christmas Tree Icon by r0se-designs 

~Shinju


MerryChristmas by KmyGraphic



                                

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10/10-  Happy Columbus Day. Although personally, aside from a generous day off for those of you in school, I don’t really care two kumquats about.

I have actually been farrrrr more busy in the art world these last several weeks than my profile is able to vouch for —Well, unless you happen to follow me around on Facebook or my Twitter @ ViciousVisions where I’ve been posting my recent endeavors only to end up too lazy in the evening to post them here. Fine! Okay, okay, I’m a procrastinator! I know it! Forgive me! _(´□`  ∠):_

I haven’t updated my journal since my surgery in July that unfortunately made me unable to participate in the ‘Access The Arts’ exhibit at the county fair. I didn’t even go to the fair at all (A first in a long time) and my 4th of July was relegated to *just* being able to see the city fireworks display over the tree line from my house and although my recovery period had me beginning 2 weeks later than I had for last year’s ‘Homemade Halloween’ season, I have been submersed in paper mache seasonal projects for my favorite holiday for the better of a month now. So now then...

Essence of Halloween by r0se-designs I witch you a Happy Hallowe’en! Essence of Halloween by r0se-designs


Anyone who truly knows me ought to know by now that I am a 100% bonafide Halloween junkie. Not only am I a year-round collector of vintage and vintage-inspired Halloween, but for seven years now I have made my ‘Homemade Halloween’ brand paper mache ornaments and decor to order. First for personal friends and family only and then now for my second year on Ebay. My last batch is up right now with two days left to go and already this second season has been more of a success than the first. I’m truly impressed! I really am. I’m not done though. I’m done with the Halloween side of things, yes, but I’ve decided that I am going to test the waters with a small batch of Christmas themed ornaments. I had been asked about this last year but I passed on it because ...well let’s be honest. The Christmas ornament market is overly saturated. It really is the #1 thing people think of when it comes to decor like this. It’s hard to stand out and be original in such a heap of options. But then again, that said, a million ornaments to chose from there may be, but none of those are a Vicious Visions ornament.

Anyway we’ll see how it goes. If it is successful then maybe I’ll reconsider my opinion and make this a annual thing, otherwise a few lucky people who do like and buy them will become the proud owners of the only Christmas ornaments made by yours truly. That said, Onto the paper mache! Got a whooooooole smorgasbord of my work in progress, some different stages of completion going up very shortly so be on the look out those.

~Shinju



                                


7/28 - The county fair is currently in town and yet here I am lying in bed ...  ♪ ♫ I’m lying in bed just like Bryan Wilson did...♪ ♫

Sleep is a no show last night. Come 6am, I had spent most the night either fighting for a comfortable position or the fact that my bladder is piss, both figuratively and literally. My abdomen is swollen and puffy. I can only explain it as being firm and feeling tight as a drum. The kind of firmness that makes me look like I am about 4 months pregnant. *lol* This is common with hysterectomies --or any abdominal type operations really as I was informed before my leaving the hospital-- so although it’s not alarming, I am quite literally having to pee every 20 minutes! Very sore and very weak. I was under longer than expected due too some complications and given my weakness and the medication I’ve been put on now in general, I thought I would be far more comatose than I was.

Recovery sucks. Obvious statement of the day, but yeah, it sucks. Thankfully, my daughter, Jewel came to spend the day with me and, man, did I need it. I’m still puffy and tender all around and across my belly and not surprising, it makes the simple act of just trying to get up from a chair a formidable challenge! #IThinkImAPufferFish  #CallTheSandman


~Shinju



                                


7/13 - Soooo ...I haven’t discussed this here yet. Yes *head down* hurl rocks at me, my journals are so random these days. I swear it’s not a lack of interest on my part, but more like a serious lack of internet time. With the kids moved out, my eldest getting married last year and starting her own little family, I decided to spend more time this year w/ my husband over the road in the big truck seeing cities and places that I had always wanted to see, but had all the ‘stay-at-home’ mom’s obligations not too.

To drive my point home, Robert’s been driving OTR since 1995! 21 years! And up until a few months ago, I’ve probably gone out w/ him only a handful of times. This was the first time ever I spent almost a whole two months with him just cruising around our great county and I needed it! My God, I needed it! I really did! Laaaaaaa *ray of light* Laaaaaaa....

Those of you who’ve been following me long enough are probably aware that the last 7 years --actually 8 now-- have been wrapped in my fighting a serious illness I was going through that resulted in three separate operations, as well as the loss of my mother and then my beloved friend & father figure, William Moody. I never quite grasped the whole concept of depression as something that could legitimately disable a person until that happened. Until then I confess it was too easy to cast the whole theory off as a weakness in myself, perhaps a character flaw. I wasn’t myself. I wasn’t calling friends ...I didn’t want too. I would try to spend time online and wouldn’t know what to say and so I’d say nothing at all. Let another week, another month, go by. But perhaps the most telling of all is that I wasn’t interested in my art, in doing artwork. I would try to start something and it would linger. I just never seemed to get anything done and I really began to wonder what was wrong with me. For years and years, as far back as my elementary school days, my art had been my escape. It had been my healer. When the world was falling down, I had my sketch book. Why wasn’t it working this time? Just four years ago I had thought I would never be able to draw the same again at all. I had the surgeries. I had recovered them all successfully ---Damn! I should be cranking it out, man!

But I wasn’t. I wasn’t doing anything.

So I talked with my doctor who put me in touch with ‘Gateway’, which is a counseling service in our area and I found out I’d been dealing with a bad case of complicated grief that had become a depression. I take medication for it now and I’m still seeing them, but I do admit that I am feeling a lot better than I did before going. Losing my mother was hard and I don’t want to put anyone's life value into any sort of bracket, but to lose William too damn near destroyed me. I mean I can’t say it enough and there’s really no special vocabulary. I felt as though the one lighthouse I had left in this stormy sea of life had been taken away from me. Who was I going to lean on? Who’s going to care about what I’m doing and what art work I was doing today? Who was going to keep PNT valuable and meaningful to me now? Would he disappear entirely if I moved on? The idea actually scared me! In the truck with Robert passing through Mobile, AL, I opted to stop by his resting place and try to answer all of those questions and cry it out. God bless, Joan. His sister, Joan. She’s really stepped in to become a echo of his presence. She may not think that little bit matters should she reads this, but it does. I really does.

So, yeah. I needed it. I needed to get out of my routine --become unstapled if you will-- and just hit the road. Shake it off and try a regrow a few of these damaged feathers on my wings.

Depression by DestinyBlue

^ Perfect representation of the lie I kept telling everyone online ..and myself. Great art, DestinyBlue!


~Shinju



                                




6/15
- At long, long last, finally --Finally!-- Christopher Lloyd, Doc Brown, was able to receive and take home the painting that I had originally designed for last year’s Denver Con. In fact, the numbered prints created from the master he received is still referred to as the 2015 DCC 30th Anniversary exclusive. At the same time and just as equally important, I was able to put a check mark on my bucket list for fulfilling a very long time childhood wish of mine to meet & greet w/ this incredible man, someone who has been a favorite actor of mine for countless years. Thank you, Wizard World! Thank you, Mom!

And I ‘do’ need to thank my mother. It was because of her that I was first introduced to Lloyd before he even became ‘Doc’ as she was a fan of the late-70's, early 80's sitcom ‘Taxi’ where he played the lovable and laughable dimwit, ‘Reverend Jim Ignatowski’. I admit I was much too young that original first time around to grasp the adult appeal and themes of the show. I made up for that later on down the road when I found ‘Taxi’ on Hulu. I get it now, mom. I get it.
 
A secondary piece that I also brought with me to the event that was autographed by both Christopher Lloyd and Back To The Future creator, Bob Gale, was of another work I shared here recently of the 'realistic' version take of the young, 1931 teenage Emmett Brown featured in the BTTF Tell-Tale Game and more recently, the official BTTF comic.

P.S. I was asked many numerous times @ Wizard World Philadelphia if prints of the DCC exclusive was yet still available. Yes there are, but the supply is short as they were numbered limited editions so if you really are interested, I would hop on that lickety-split. Just contact me.

~Shinju



                                


4/30 - 9 days, 17 hours and counting .... *insert Back to the Future tick-tick-tick here*

The double digits are gone. We are now less than 10 days to go until WIZARD WORLD PHILADELPHIA 2016 and CHRISTOPHER LLOYD! Yes, yes. I know. There’s so much more than Doc scheduled to be there, but I would really just be a straight up liar to remotely suggest that I gave a damn. I was so terribly disappointed last year when Chris had to cancel the Denver Con after the build up we had worked ourselves into. Most of you might recall that I underwent surgery on my left arm and shoulder last year in right smack in the midst of that painting I was doing of Doc Brown. As a result, I was really forced to crack the whip and crank my gears to get it completed in time for the event once I spent a month recovering. Here I was thinking I wasn’t going to make it, cursing my sore arm, but happy I pulled it off and suddenly —Bam! *rug yanked* we weren’t going.

Worse yet, DENVER CON NEVER TOLD ANYBODY! Not a bulletin, not a post, not anything at all! In every sense, we would have traveled off to Denver, spent all that effort and money, and we would have never known until we got there that he wasn’t going to be there. I was really angry. Really angry! Only reason we found out at all is because my daughter had jumped on the guest list page to check times and photo-ops for other guest and noticed that Christopher Lloyd was no longer featuring. Shortly afterwards I heard from the BTTF group that it was cancelled. I’m still not on even terms with the DCC over that one. Your attendees are paying good money. The least you can do is keep them informed and not try to imply that it is our fault if we’ve chosen not to have a good time. No! Inform your damn guests next time!

Okay. Rant done.

Truth be told, God has always been faithful to me that he can turn the worst of our times into our greatest good, even when we’re not ready to see or accept it at the time. Because of the delay, I was able to exhibit the Doc Brown painting @ our county fair’s ‘Access The Arts’ display celebrating our arrival at that relevant date in the real 2015 and walked away with the ‘Best In Show’ in my field. It’s something I can shared w/ Christopher now and show him. Aside from that, Philadelphia is so much closer to us that Denver and as a result I have family that are able to attend that would not have been able too before. I’m really looking forward to it!

Emoji39 by Emoji-icon

Anybody else attending the Wizard World this year in Philly? By all means I’d love to know! ^ o ^

~Shinju




                                


4/30 - Long time no journal update, but for once I don’t have to hold procrastination responsible! Yippee! I would share a halo to exemplify claim, but this random potato la will have to do :iconpotatolaplz: There? See? Innocent entirely.

And I am, all silliness aside. With all the holidays at last long behind me and nothing much demanding going on until May, I decided in March to put my work aside for a bit, jump into the big rig with the husband and hit the road for a whole month and a half! Robert’s been a professional truck driver since 1996 and during all this time I may have gone with him only a handful of times as I was a stay-at-home mom w/ two daughters still in school. Now that our girls are grown and my eldest is married and making a family of her own, I decided no time like the present. Let’s do this!

If you haven’t been in a 18 wheeler before, or familiar with a family member or friend who is, trucking reminds me a lot of RV’ing cross country, only with dedicated stops and getting loads and materials where they need to be going. At one point we were out in Goree, TX so deep in absolute nowhere that the frick’in GPS didn’t even know where we were! No kidding! You could turn a full 3-60, 50 miles in either direction, nothing but sage brush and dirt! We were dropping off a large generator for a wind farm. But long story short, we kept a video blog of our travels updated on my Facebook called the ‘RebaJosh Trucking Travel Channel’ as we traversed 3 time zones, going up as far north the tippy top of the Michigan upper peninsula all the way down south to the bayous of Louisiana. I loved it. Will most certainly have to do that again before the year is out, but for now I am back, back at the desk, art to be done, Wizard World convention coming up in June where I will finally be presented my work to Christopher ‘You know him as the one & only ‘Doc’ Emmett Brown’ Lloyd. Very excited for that, annnnnnnd ..... (long happy and) the first true update to the ‘Metatisic’ saga since my illness and recovery, and since Addie’s as well. Very VERY happy about that. There was a time where I seriously doubted it would see a finish so I’m glad and am hoping that many of you who love that book will be as well and for that, a preview:


BEHOLD, MEGAWAVE! ...Well, sorta *lol*



The Guardian moved him ahead with a pat. “Come along. I'll introduce you to the security system to avoid any nasty accidents.”

It was a simple scanning process- stand in the archway, put one's optics up to the sensor- though probably high tech for the era. The sensor beams were warm, pleasant, as they took his biometrics and mapped his field. A green light showed he was now cleared as friendly by the system.

“I hate having to lock anything up, but honor isn't what...” Shockwave began as he walked through the doorway and into the lab, only to abruptly stop. "Goodness! What are you two doing!? And in my lab!"

Cyclonus, curious beyond reason, poked his head around the jamb.

Perched on Soundwave's blocky little shoulders, was Megatron. They'd been caught mid “ka-chunk” noise as they cleared a cabinet, pretending to be... something large and heavily armed. Soundwave's tightened grip on his playmate's peds betrayed a streak of fear upon noticing Cyclonus. The vinca jet tried to smile as he stepped into the lab fully, to ease the boy's likeliest fear that there would be klaxons or some kind of attack sounded shortly.

Megatron at least looked contrite but he didn't bother to get down off his friend's shoulders. He offered, "Soundwave saw some new specs you left on the computer for making smaller robots stick together and make big robots..."

The other boy's posture was now nothing but guilt, nearly unsettling the young prince. "Affirmative."

Shockwave crossed his arms, his tone encouraging further illumination. "Indeed...?"

Megatron's frustration was palpable, as if it should be obvious to all and sundry the great work they were doing. "So, I thought we'd try it!"

Shockwave's posture softened, his arms falling to his sides, and his em field fluctuated close to Cyclonus with what felt like laughter that he wasn't voicing. His words were still stern. "There's a lot of work that goes into such things, Young Majesty. Surgeries. Installations. Program adjustments. Compatibility tests... the Gestalt project is all very experimental as of yet. It will be some vorns before combination technology is available outside theory."

Megatron pouted. The boy could slag twenty times his weight in mechs even now, if he put his mind to it and managed to control his fear, but nothing in the known universe should be so dangerous while being so disarming. Adorable was not generally a term one applied to the Slag-maker, but it did recall Metatisic's disappointment over being made to wait. The King did not pout, of course, and it would be rude to suggest it.

Soundwave sighed, his harmonics sliding downward in dejection. "...we would have been very powerful."

"And smart," Megatron added. “The schematics said the the big robot's mind is a combination of all the little robots.” He huffed in frustration, “We would have been so smart.”

A small chuckle issued from Shockwave as his ears twitched. “Undoubtedly.”

Soundwave agreed with a nod that nearly unseated Megatron and sent Metatisic's son into a cheer, "We would have been awesome! MEGAWAVE!”

"Inquiry: Why does your name come first? " Soundwave puzzled, looking upward at Megatron.

"Because I'm the Prince.” Megatron offered as if it were plain, “Besides, Soundtron sounds ridiculous-- Oh, don't be sad. When I'm Dourjer you can be my second-in-command!" He patted Soundwave's helmet.

"Satisfaction. Onward, MEGAWAVE!" And Soundwave began to coordinate movements with Megatron towards the door, providing sound effects as if they were truly huge.

“Refuge in audacity may only cover you so far, Young Majesty.” Shockwave called after the boys, “Don't think I don't keep a log of every time you break in and show it to your Father.”

“Walk in!” Megatron corrected, turning half way around on his perch, just past Cyclonus.

“Cheek.” Shockwave scolded.

~Shinju



                                


1/19 - Really, I’ve seriously needed a journal update like yesterday, last week, last month! Now you see, Megan. This laziness of yours is precisely why you can’t keep a diary!:icondesperateplz:

It’s not that I don’t have a lot on my mind. Truth be told, I could probably talk your damn ears off if you let me. I’m just very bad when it comes down to grouping all those thoughts together into a text I can share online w/ all of you. I’m sure I’m not alone. Someone, somewhere out there in DA land has got to be sharing that same problem.

Aside from that, it’s been a sad January so far. Not even hardly 3 weeks into 2016 and look at the names we’ve lost! David Bowie ...Alan Rickman, too! As an 80's child, I have a tad more sting for Bowie’s loss, but not by very much. Not much at all. The irony between Bowie and Rickman though, man. They both were 69, both well known British exports, and both have cancer to blame for our sorrow. Very sad. We seem to have reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away, to quote Indiana Jones. How very true. You suppose that’s why we cling to nostalgia? (You know it is) Something fond and wonderful that we loved and cherished that we can go back to any time we want to ...an escape back to when we don’t recall hearing quite as so many goodbyes.

Alright. Couple updates to share, but first the one that I am all but BURSTING at the seams to share. I finally heard from Addie. I’m so, so very happy. It’s been a good 7 years at least and that’s just tragic to have to say if it wasn’t so perfectly honest. I know most of you right now are going “Who?” but if you’re a Transfan --more specifically a Metatisic fan-- Addie’s the one who was my partner-in-crime on the restoration efforts on that one. I know the saga would never have never seen the light of day on the web had it not been for her. Truly, I’m not kidding. That’s why new updates had stalled. I wasn’t going to do it without her. My morals just wouldn’t let me do that.

Speaking of irony, I learned that our health situations were rather identical sounding. We both got hit with our crisises within months of each other it seems. I really don’t want to go and pull all that unhappiness back out of the closet again. It’s over. We’re moving on. Talking to her, I made a remark describing the whole ordeal as like ‘emotional fatality’ If it wasn’t the death of a loved one, it was another surgery. Sometimes you just can’t seem to cope. I learned that Addie spent a great deal of time in and out of the hospital and back again. I’m just glad she’s well — that we both are.

There *are* new additions of the Metatisic saga going up this week. They’re not new in the meaning that we’ve jumped right on it again. I’ve actually had these pieces for awhile now, but I had stopped putting them up when we lost track of each other as a means to delay running out of chapters for y’all to read. I apologize for that, but I know you can understand.

And I’ve updated those new additions to the banner/chapter tab:

TF G1 Metatisic chapter selection tab by Shinjuchan

Do you guys know that Decepticon turned 30 over the holidays?! He and Blizzard, both! THIRTY! Christ, I’m old *lol*

Next on the list, all you ‘Back To The Future’ fans. I have finished the inks on the illustrations I did for the IDW comic’s Manhattan Project story arc. That should also be going up here this week.

And lastly ... HAPPY 10th DEVIANTART BIRTHDAY TO ME! Thank you all so much for being my fans, my friends, loving my work. That’s the reason why I just welcomed my 10th year here on DeviantART!

:thumb319564290: Cake FOR Bday by KmyGraphic:thumb319564290:


~Shinju



                                
  • Listening to: Thomas Newman Green Mile TOS
  • Drinking: coffee




10/29 - Okay, so I am drawing this WWII sign here. Well, most of it. Not sure I much like that face on the right and may tweak it a tad. Don’t go all nuclear on me, but I promise you’ll see why eventually.

....Yes, that really was a word play you saw there *wink* *LOL*

Christ. I swear only I could be that person to go from Halloween ornaments, to some anime. a certain Deadman, and end up shit deep in plutonium.

------

10/27 - H-hey! That boy looks *hick* mafiliar ... *a’la drunk Danny Parker style voice* *LOL!*

I had to at least point this out. My copy of the brand-new IDW official ‘Back to The Future’ comic #1 arrived today. This is the Ninjaink’s cover version by fellow Deviant artist of the same, Timothy Lim. There was a whooooooo-le slew of edition covers and I’ll most likely eventually grab them all, but this is the one that first and most drew me in as I knew the artist (And that I'm a Rockwell aficionado). Without giving any serious spoilers, there are two stories in this first edition each drawn by a different artist, but both written by BTTF creator & screenwriter, Bob Gale himself! I remember Bob mentioning before at the Q&A's how he had brought ideas into the Tell-Tale game that had been long tinkering in his head since the movies but had never seen any fruition in those films for one reason or another and how he was happy to have that opportunity do so with the game’s script. The IDW comics will serve much of the same purpose to finally at last tie up the answers to some questions both he and Robert Zemeckis were frequently asked about ---How Doc and Marty met, for starters. Me, personally, I really loved the Tell-Tale story and even more ADORED the young teen Emmett Brown, so imagine my absolute and purest delight seeing him again now circular 1943 in story two. To quote:

"Welcome to the Manhattan Project, Doctor Brown"


I have a friend who had gone to the WizardWorld Christopher Lloyd Q&A panel there in Philly a couple years back and he (Lloyd) commented how they did in fact use his real hair for the 1955 scenes of Doc Brown by bleaching it. Lloyd had naturally very dark brown hair and that —forgive me if I’m not quoting 100% directly— they had to do the application in a couple stages so there had been a point in the process where he was really flaming red and Gale chuckled jokingly about  “Emmett being a redhead before all the radiation.” That momentary gag found its way all those years later into the game version when they were developing the appearance of teen Emmett prior to what will no doubt evolve into the conquest and woes of the Manhattan Project. I love things like that ...those little side stories about how things came to be. So many of my best works began as corny accidents and office humor.










*looking for a moment* Christ, I haven’t updated my journal since forever. I just mailed out my final batch of Halloween ornaments topping off a very successful 2015 season that has kept me grinding away in the office since early August. Now it’s finally time to kick back with a bit of vacation time, wash off the paper mache crumbs, embrace the holiday, and welcome my brand-new and first granddaughter who will be arriving in November in only a matter of days!

~Shinju



                                


8/9 - Might say it’s a good thing that I’m wiser than that, eh?

Beware of tinyurls, Ladies & Gents. This showed up in my mailbox just a few minutes ago and if this is anything at all like the tinyurl scam incident that ran around YouTube a few years back, then I’m prrrrrrrreeeety damn sure that the goal is to hack your DA account. I’ve been here on DeviantART now for 9 years and I’ll be damned if you think I’m falling for that, honey *smirk*


(Link is blurred on purpose)

There is another variant of this scam that promises free 12 month premium memberships. Either way the intentions are the same — Steal your account. Now I have reported the sender, but I’m sharing this with you as a warning should you get something, anything even remotely like this, sent to you. Do NOT click on the link/url, don’t respond (as they’re often fake accounts anyways), don’t share any private information, passwords, etc., just report it to DeviantART and be safe!

Further information:

Premium Membership Scam Information[update]Today I got a Note with somebody stating the following-

"Hey I really like your artwork. Really nice.
I actually just found a way to get a free DeviantArt Premium Membership here: 
[not linking the site]
You might want to give it a try. Get some more exposure.... Don't know how many they are giving away though.. Anyways try your luck it's 
free. Worth a shot. I got a 12 month membership. (Under a new username) 
Keep up the great work :) (Smile)"
:bulletred:This site that it links requires you to pump out personal information in surveys. When you get closer to finishing everything it wants you to, you have to start giving your your SS or Credit card information, to pay for "shipping" or deals. On this site it states that you will get free PM, which in turn isn't true if you have to pay a dime in the end. 
Inform


~Shinju