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About Digital Art / Student Core Member JOY ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
9 Month Core Membership:
Given by MegaBoltHQ
Statistics 1,391 Deviations 18,745 Comments 97,175 Pageviews

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Fall Leaf Divider - F2U by GentleLark Fall Leaf Divider - F2U by GentleLark

A little about me before you explore!


I'm Sarah, a 10+ year artist that would love to get into character design and concept drawing. I am currently still thinking about how I could go about story boarding and anything else that could help expand my horizons.

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Old DeviantArt Account: sasuhinaluver1234.deviantart.c…

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Fall Leaf Divider - F2U by GentleLark Fall Leaf Divider - F2U by GentleLark

❤ Pony Commission Sheet ❤

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❤ Examples of Skill ❤

Duuuuuude by Shifted-Anubis +Art Trade+ Captain Soup by Shifted-Anubis

❤ Examples of Skill (cont.) ❤

I had a loss of energy... by Shifted-Anubis
Did Someone Order a Big Tiddy Goth??? by Shifted-Anubis

❤ Some School Work on this Site ❤


Dec 14, 2018
6:10 am
Dec 14, 2018
5:09 am
Dec 14, 2018
3:02 am
Dec 11, 2018
1:25 pm
Dec 9, 2018
3:02 pm



So as some of you know, I'm going on hiatus. I feel like I should explain what this means in general to me.

Basically, I will not be on any social media on top of not posting any freelance/commission art for probably a long time. Haitus to me is just being to myself more and focusing on real life and such. So commissions will be closed. Sounds weird, right? I need the extra money for finances and such, but I feel like money is not super important when my emotional state isn't doing too well. I'm going to try and fix things on my own. I feel too stubborn to ask for money anymore and I hate feeling like crap when I feel like I don't make art to people's liking. My heart hasn't been doing well because of a lot of other things as well. So, I need this break to breathe.

I actually was not going to say anything about this because I felt like seeing "hiatus" would be enough. It kind of wasn't for some lole SO don't worry about me. I'm not ignoring you, I don't hate you, I'm not giving up or anything. I just need some more time to figure stuff out and being on the internet is kind of stunting that process for me.

Have a good one and please be safe! Goodbye for now!
Time to be real again, so you can ignore this if you want to. 👌


Hope you guys are having a great day or night. I just want to get something off my chest. This might be news to some, but probably expected by others. I'm so mentally consumed by guilt right now. Long story short, I had a friend that I really cared about. After a while, I felt like my feelings were getting too clingy so I left to give them space. I came to apologize after hearing how they "lamented" that I left and we had a spat. Now, it's... what? Like.. Two to three years later after the fact and I'm still thinking about it?

I'll be straight up. I know that the situation wasn't completely my fault. I know that people come and go in my life and I can't control their feelings about me. Yes, I've tried therapy for these irrational feelings and meds for my depression. They didn't work and I feel stuck. I feel like I was kind of cheated and deserve an apology. Yes, an APOLOGY. Not a half-assed "sorry you feel that way". That gets my blood boiling because it seems like no one can just own up to something they did. At least try to apologize for it before pushing the blame somewhere else or tiptoeing around it.

Anyway, here's where it gets kind of silly. I still want to be friends with the person. I've noticed my obsession only getting worse as time goes on, but I honestly think all I want is to prove myself. I want to prove them wrong. However, what kills me is that I have a high probability of never getting that chance. Because of this, I tend mistreat and abuse myself. I've gotten so ornery about this that I've even had nights where I cry myself to sleep because I'm starting to believe that everyone will just see me as a bad person. That no one will want to see the good in me because they know that I'm just useless.

This has been haunting me for the longest time and I honestly don't know why. I'm sorry for it getting to this point and I want to do whatever I can to make it up to myself, the people who have tried to help me through this, and even the person this is about if I could. It's just awful that this person is a trigger to me now. That's honestly the best way I can describe it. Every time I get a glimpse of them or their work out of nowhere, I have a panic attack and slowly start crying. It's... weird. I know one thing that my brain is doing during my panicked state is instantly fighting back the urge to support this person and say something nice to this person. It's even fighting back the urge to let me admire their work. I can't even do that without getting a flood of guilt and feeling like a worthless sad sack. It's strange, to say the least.

In no way do I think this person is awful. I just deeply desire to patch things up the right way with this person. I want to at least be able to say I'm sorry and have them give me their thoughts on this. A simple talk and some questions answered would completely suffice. I don't think I'm going to get that though, so I'm not going to be old self for while. I'm really sorry about that.

Sorry for the rant. I've had so much piling inside my head again that I started getting... antsy. If you read through this then thank you. I hope I didn't bum you out or make you feel uncomfortable! I hope you have a good one and stay safe. ♡
A quick big thank you to everyone who has been spreading the word about my situation! I very much appreciate it! ♡
You know what sucks?

Not being able to believe that you're a good person even when you're told time and time again that you are or even when you know that you try your best to be one. I tend to think that since I can't please everyone that I'm not good at all. That if I can't make someone happy or smile that I'm a failure and don't deserve to exist. I'm so brutal to myself and it's really asinine. I have my issues, but that's what makes me human. Not a bad person. I don't actively go out of my way to make others' lives worse and I don't like seeing others in pain, so I try to help when I think I can. I can say that I'm at least a decent person, but the negatives always tend to blind me from thinking I'm good enough. It's not really fair that I think people are lying when they think that I'm good enough. So, I'm going to work on that. I hope that I can find some peace. It'll be a slow process, but it'll be worth it in the end, right?

Thanks for reading. Hope you have a good one. ♡

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83 deviants said *doots horn*

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Add a Comment:
Vexania11 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Wow!! Your art is amazing!!
(1 Reply)
ToxicTigerss32 Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2018  Student Traditional Artist
Thank u for the watch and favs! Ur art is amazing :>
(1 Reply)
bao-mao Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
hi!! just dropping by to say you have a super cool artstyle and i love it <3 i hope to see more awesome artworks from you in the future!!
(1 Reply)
ItoeKobayashi Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2018  Professional General Artist
OMG Now you've decided to watch me too?! Aaah I'm so happy! Thank you!
(1 Reply)
Yellows-Arts Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2018  Student Writer
Hello!nice gallery
(1 Reply)
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