Please feel free to note me if you'd like my new account. <3
Signing off for the last time,
The Hardest Goodbyes, are the Ones You Don't Get a Chance to Say
The land seemed to be holding its breath. The air was still - quiet and undisturbed; nothing stirred in the early morning mist. Even the sun seemed reluctant to begin its routine journey across the sky. No wind rolled through the open plains, stirring the grass, and not a creature dared move. Everything seemed suspended in time - all but one lone figure.
Silver as the mist, she moved with precision and grace. Her paw steps were delicate, yet somehow firm, as if they had a confidence in their actions like none other. She went by unnoticed, blending in with the grey of dawn and keeping as silent as the still air. Only her blazing amber eyes gave her away, burning their way through the fog as they stared directly ahead, a determination not to look around glinting fiercely within their golden depths. Her heart ached, but her mind knew better - there was no going back. Her decision was rash, she knew, but even so, she couldn't bring herself to doubt it.
You'll regret it, a voice promptly sneered from the back of her thoughts. You don't know what you're doing - you're just following blindly!
You don't know that... her own voice would reply, trembling with fear and uncertainty despite her words. You don't know...you just don't know. There's nothing I could regret now.
The dappled she-cat paused, her mind suddenly going blank as the voice vanished. All she could see was the camp in front of her. Home. The sun began to twinge the sky with soft pinks and oranges, slowly lifting the fog to reveal the Water Tribe camp. Still, no one stirred. Her fellow warriors lay fast asleep in their den, as were the rest of her tribe mates. Sooka stood stock still, yet her amber eyes suddenly seemed to dart restlessly from left to right, unable to stare forward any longer. Somehow, it all seemed unfair to her. Like her last home in the old lands, she had grown attached to the new campsite, and even more attached to the land of Nandryx and all those residing in it. Even so, things had changed - changed in ways she could never have imagined. Immediately, her thoughts went into overdrive once again, blurring her vision with flashes of those she had met along the way.
"Tuari..." she breathed to herself, unable to hold back the tears as they crept over her eyes and down her pale cheeks, staining them grey. Regret flooded through her, making her paws tingle uncomfortably. "What a poor friend...I've been..." The Orange-Water dipped her head in remorse, an odd smile on her lips. "But what an amazing warrior you've become – my Deputy." The smile faded, replaced with a solemnness that throbbed in her heart relentlessly. Not now...I can't regret it now. Gritting her teeth, she padded back to the dens, coming to a rigid halt outside the gaping entrance. She stared at it briefly before dragging a white tipped paw through her mane of silver fur.
"I hope you'll forgive me someday," the feline whispered quietly, placing a pure white feather at the door. She had stumbled across it in Pheasant Woods some days before, and instantly its innocence and simple beauty reminded her of the pretty snowshoe she now called family. "I never meant to leave you behind. Live my share of life. Live it – and fight on." Her eyes shown with pride at the thought, burning with a passion she never knew she could feel for another, almost as if the young she-cat were a proper sister. ”Outrun me…Tuari.”
Sooka turned away, hoping the young beauty Tuari would find her gift, although it was truly nothing much. Her golden eyes seemed to blur their vision as a painful twinge spread from her chest all the way through her body. The soft sounds of sleeping felines seemed to be exhaled from the den's entrance behind her as she padded away, their familiar scents wafting around her as she slowed her pace. Yet, she forced herself to ignore it, refusing to stop until she reached the edge of Water Tribe's camp. Reaching the grassy threshold, a sudden spark caught her eye as the sun crept higher into the pale sky, coloring the grey dawn with even brighter hues. In the grass not far from where she stood lay a smooth and rounded pink gem, glittering faintly in the morning light.
Just like the ones from back then, she mused, a miserable smile on her maw as she bent to pick it up. Laughter filled her mind as she recalled her first meeting with her tribe mate Cadence. It had been she who showed Sooka around the old land, taking her to the sparkling beaches the gem collectors used to traverse. Within seconds, the colorful beaches turned brown and sandy, swirling beneath shallow waters and darting silver fish. Cadence's tabby coat seemed to brighten, becoming cream and ginger as Shenzi took her place, the water reflecting her pink tattoo as it glowed brilliantly, droplets of water beginning to rise before Sooka’s eyes.
”Hot day, huh?” the petite Siamese’s voice echoed through her thoughts. ”…I’m Shenzi!”
And then the scene became grey once more as the first morning of her life in the tribes flashed by. Gold eyes broke through the dullness, revealing an equally grey tom with a grin on his face. Mikah...my first friend... The pain in her heart seemed to worsen, searing through her and burning her insides as if they were on fire, yet still her mind seemed to press onward, determined to make her change her decision.
”Race ‘ya!” Mikah yowled, leaping forward. The pounding of their paws against the grass resounded in her ears, until suddenly she was in front of the grey tom. She turned back, but the scene was different now. The then Blue-Green-Water was surrounded by white, his dark coat contrasting against the purity, making him appear like a shadow.
And then, Mikah washed away, replaced by the mottled Light Triber with an affinity for mushrooms...she could just hear Jay's last words to her before they parted ways…
"Thanks again, River. Hopefully we'll see each other again."
Sooka clenched her jaw as his voice echoed, knowing that day would never come, and what could have been a wonderful friendship would never exist. But before she could even begin to properly dwell on it and allow her sadness to consume her, Jay faded into a pretty auburn she-cat with the mark of Earth Tribe on her shoulder. They had met only briefly between their territories, but still Sooka had yet to shake Mirth from her mind. Her crystal blue eyes pierced through the darkness in her thoughts, but it was short lived as her pelt became redder and thicker, her body growing large and bulky. Ross seemed to leer at her ever so slightly before he drifted away as well, leaving none other than his own tribe mate in his place. Bold stripes and copper eyes swam in front of her, the pounding pain in her chest becoming so intense, Sooka was sure her heart would burst.
"I…I'll miss you most of all," Sooka whispered hoarsely to herself, holding back a gasp of tears. His figure stood there in her mind, as tall and handsome as he always was, the silver ball that had once been pierced above her own eyebrow glinting in his tattered ear. Out of habit, she flicked her left ear, the feather dangling from it brushing gently against her cheek as it always did, this time being dampened with salty tears that had found their way over her eyelids and down her silver cheeks. "Seraphiel... She hung her head down low, closing her eyes with nothing more or less than feelings of utmost regret and shame, knowing she’d never again feel the warmth of his body pressed against her own, or the sweet sound of his voice as he said her name. ”I-I’m so sorry…so sorry…”
The copper eyed tom seemed to frown, his presence fading from her mind. Yet somehow, his image sharpened. Four small figures swirled into view at his paws, each one bearing a mark of the tribes. Sooka’s heart seemed to skip a beat as she stared, unable to breath. The smallest of the four, pale and white like someone she was sure she knew quite well. Another was similar, yet darker in his coat…and still there were two more, even darker and more familiar with each passing moment. A heart wrenching sob finally escaped the dappled she-cat, her golden eyes no longer able to look away from the tom in front of her, four kits pressed against him, all staring at their mother with betrayal in their eyes – the family Sooka knew would never be the same.
”I never told you, Seraph – I didn’t tell you. I’m so sorry...” she mourned, tears blurring her vision until the strange little family was nothing but a memory. ”I never told you that I…”
The slender she cat gritted her teeth, cursing herself silently as she tensed her body. Tears continued to spill over onto her pale face, hiding the secret held behind her golden eyes.
”I’ll do anything for you. Please…don’t cry,” the tom whispered, their rainy encounter flashing in front of her. But soon, it too, vanished, leaving nothing but the emptiness that had invaded her heart and settled within it since she had awoken. The tears slowed until eventually they ceased to fall from her eyes, her head dipped low and her mind quiet again.
There's no turning back, the silver feline reminded herself firmly, slowly raising her head. She narrowed her eyes, an unknown fire burning in the depths of their golden-orange hue, fueling her to move forward. The Spirits made their choice…
”And I’ve made mine.”
A sudden and swift flash of steely grey broke through the morning stillness. Flecks of deep red splattered through the pale dawn, staining the grass tinged yellow by the rising sunlight. What once had been a mark of jarring orange against her beautiful silver pelt was no more, and her once white paw was clenched against her shoulder, claws unsheathed and deadly. As the sun climbed steadily into the sky, its blinding light illuminated the scene - yet the damage was already done. With her claws stained red with her own blood, there was nothing left of her tribe's tattoo. She had once bore it with pride and dignity, but no longer felt anything towards the Spirits' marking but shame and rage.
Betrayal was all Sooka could think about. The beautiful pale grey she-cat with her poised figure and stunning jade eyes flashed momentarily in front of her own narrowed eyes before she shook her head, forcing herself back into the present.
Sooka released her claws from her shoulder, leaving the three long gashes to drip on their own accord, not once flinching from pain. Mere shreds of orange lingered here and there on her shoulder amongst the deep and bleeding wounds. With time, they would heal, and the remainder of her tattoo would turn grey and become hidden against her silver pelt once more. At one point in time, just thought of being without her tattoo would have frighten her, yet now it only brought a sense of liberation.
The morning grew on, calling the land's creatures from their slumbers and out into the early sunlight. The absence of two would not go unnoticed for long, but by that time, the pair would be long gone from that place - nor would they ever return. In the distance, two grey silhouettes slunk away, moving like the morning mist with a silence so graceful, even the stealthy shadows of this world envied them for a moment.
"I'll leave as I came," the dappled feline mewed to her green-eyed companion. "With nothing more or less to lose, than what I’ve chosen to leave behind." The silver feline padded onward, turning her back on the tribes and Spirits as she went, a smile of pure confidence finally upon her lips.
“I need to say my own goodbyes,” her companion whispered solemnly as a reminder. Sooka knew the she-cat beside her had no real intentions of leaving him behind, but all the same, she nodded, smiling faintly at the thought of sneaking into Air Tribe.
”Perhaps I’ll see him – my own…perhaps I’ll see him before I disappear from this world…one last time…” she whispered to herself, vaguely aware of the pale she-cat beside her giving her a knowing look.
”Perhaps you will,” was all she mewled in reply, her own thoughts on another as well.
The pair lapsed into silence, slipping through the insipid morning fog as they continued on their way. Grey and silver meshed together, until all that could be seen were the dark figures of two slender felines in the distance. Soon that, too, faded into the dull haze, leaving nothing behind but a memory – a memory of two who would not so soon be forgotten by that land for generations to come.
And so it was that the young leader and the eldest warrior of Water Tribe vanished from the world. Their part in Nandryx was over now, and what would become of their tribe remains yet to be seen.
And then there's the denial, and the immediate regret. I missed so much these past few years. All of us went our separate ways, going to college or starting a career...and we all sort of lost each other along the way. We'd come back once a year, over the summer, meet up and all that, but it never seems to go back to the way things were when we were younger, when all that matter was who was 'it' for hide and seek, and who had a crush on who. But that's the thing - you can never get those times back. And then you get that one phone call, and all those memories come flooding back, and you start to regret things. Things that don't even have to do with you just seem to explode in my head. It's awkward. I don't know how to describe it other than that it is what it is.
This doesn't mean I'm going to stop though. Actually, the reason I'm writing this is because I'd like to begin some NEW RPs instead. I want to keep things current and participate in on going events as opposed to ones that began months and months ago. So, if you're interesting in starting a new RP with me, please comment here or send me a note to let me know! Again, I'm super sorry for anyone RPing with Sooka, Sorrel, Brokenspirit, or Ashfeather...I just couldn't get into things lately. Writers block I suppose.
- Listening to: How to Train Your Dragon Soundtrack
- Reading: The Hobbit
- Drinking: Arizona Green Tea
- Reading: Your obituary
- Watching: All of y'all...
- Eating: Souls
- Town name: Fiore
- Friend Code: 0404 - 6416 - 1978
- Dream Address: 4500 - 2190 - 3080
Current The-Golden-Butterfly RPs :
Sooka | Orange-Water | Water Tribe Warrior
- - Sooka & Seraphiel :: ongoing
Sorrel | Green-Air | Air Tribe Guard
Current PKMN-Crossing RPs :
Sade the Arcanine
- - Sade & Arizona :: ongoing - Sade & Dakota :: ongoing - Sade & Ile :: ongoing - Sade & Soak :: ongoing
Current One-Moon-to-Go RPs :
Brokenspirit | Rain Clan | Warrior
- - Brokenspirit & Thunderfoot :: ongoing - Brokenspirit & Copperstreak :: planned
Anyways, sorry for anyone I've kept waiting! I'm not on hiatus - I'm just
OH. And P.s. I don't know how many of y'all are into Instagram... I thought it was stupid before I realized the joys of quick photo editing without Photoshop But anyways, if y'all want to see random clips of things going on in my life and see some epic scenery (seriously, my campus is gorgeous!!), come follow my Instagram - or however that works, hahah.
So I was crying - which is perfectly normal for any patient. I've never had any sort of surgery done before, so forgive me if I was frightened. Any normal human being would address you nicely and try and calm you down, but apparently doctors must have skipped the 'how to properly address patients' seminar in their schooling. Harassing your patient with rude hostility for being scared of surgery should be illegal. In fact, I was told to leave because he 'didn't deal with crying children' after I mentioned I was a bit nervous. All I wanted was a run down of the procedure, but I guess that's beyond your capabilities. Thank you Doctor Moron, I'm now stuck with my wisdom teeth for another year because you can't handle emotions. I'm not a child because I'm scared of surgery, thank you very much.
Bleh. Doctors. This is why nurses are far better. They're at least competent and understand their patients. All you idiot doctors can do is cut people open and act all high and mighty because you went to medical school. You have zero right to be arrogant and rude. Try taking a leaf out of one of your nurses' books and quit being such assholes. This is why no one likes doctors.
On a happier note, my face isn't swollen and I don't look like a chipmunk. :3
Eep, and sorry for the rather angsty journal entry. Ranting about something always helps calm me down, especially when highly offended by the dumber members of society!
Have a happy Dashie instead~! <3
[x] Gotten detention.
[x] Gotten your phone taken away
 Gotten in school suspension
[x] Got sent to the principal's office.
[x] Chewed gum during class.
 Gotten more than 8 tardies
[x] Didn't do homework over 3 times.
[x] Turned at least 3 projects in late.
[x] Missed school cause you felt like it.
 talked too much and got kicked out of class
 Got your mom/dad etc. to get you out of school.
[x] Text people during class.
[x] Passed notes.
[x] Threw stuff across the room.
[x] Laughed at the teacher
 Pulled down the fire alarm.
[x] MySpace, Facebook, etc. on the computer at school.
[x] Took pictures during school hours.
[x] Called someone during school hours.
 Listened to an iPod/CD player/Mp3 during class.
 Threw something at the teacher.
[x] Went outside the classroom without permission.
[x] Broke the dress code.
[x] Failed a class
[x] Ate food during class.
[x] Gotten a call home
 Couldn't go on a field trip cause you behaved badly
[x] Didn't take your stuff to school
[x] Gotten a detention and didn't go
 Stuck your middle finger at a teacher.
[x] Cursed during class loud enough so the teacher could hear.
[x] Slept in class.
[x] Cursed at a teacher
[x] Copied homework
[x] Felt hungry during class and left to eat
[x] Got into so many fights.
Total = 27
Multiply your total by 3 = 81%
La la laa~. I expected it to be lower. Oops. On the bright side high school's forever over and I still managed to get into my first choice college. I question the credibility of this little quiz-thing.
Anyways, it's one of those ask account thingies or whatever you wanna call 'em. Feel free to ask her whatever you'd like, be it anonymous or not! She'll answer. Probably.
ask-sade.tumblr.com/ << Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it...
Anyways~. What spurred this odd journal was a lovely little personality quiz on...Hold up. What's it called? Oh. Bronyland.com! Yesh, it sounds like a questionable name...In my opinion. Moving on. I think I found the link to the quiz on someone's page while I was thanking them for a favorite, or something along those lines. So~, I took the little quiz - which I have to admit was quite thorough and not horridly predictable. I'd recommend it actually. I like the way the results are presented (they show you a nice little charty-graph thing that lets you know how much you're like each of the mane six, and then determines who you're most like by obviously which you're "closest" to on the charty-graph thing. I'm explain it poorly. Curse you lack of intelligence to explain). Erm, anyways. It's a fun little quiz! By far my favorite question was "Which would you want as a pet the most?". Of course, there were the standard options, some typical ones, blah blah blah. But the last option totally cracked me up. And obviously it's the one I clicked. I think "Scootaloo" would make a stellar pet, heheh. Click the button! Euphoric things happen when you pick Scootaloo! Do it, do it, do it, do it!!
I dare you
Click the Scootaloo, yesh~...
It's all part of her plan for world domination!!
Oh, and if you're wondering what my results were, I'm not telling! Heheh, you'll have to guess if you'd like to find out. 'S no fun if I just tell you.
- Reading: Mockingjay
Eek, I had to extend my-originally-meant-to-be-short-hiatus for so long...A bunch of annoying icky things popped up on my end, grr. Hopefully they don't come back and I won't have to leave again. I worked on a bit of artwork while I was gone, but most of it was studio work and most likely won't be uploaded since I no longer have it. O.o I actually have zero idea where it is, hahah. I've got to remember to take pictures of things before they vanish. Anyways~, so please bare with me and up lack of serious uploads. Mostly everything I did was quick and probably a bit sloppy...But that's okay because they weren't meant to be serious in the first place, grr.
Yepp. So, that pretty much sums everything up. Nothing really interesting to say, hahah. Sorry again for the accidentally long-ish hiatus!
Oh. Also. Uhh... I sort of blame Skyward Sword for a small part of the hiatus. I'm sorry. It's so addicting...
Hello people curious or bored enough to be reading this!
I've been so busy lately, that I really haven't had time at all to get any artwork in, minus the work I'm required to do. I have exams coming up in a couple of weeks, so I'll be preparing for eight of those lovelies, grr. I actually have no idea how I'll manage to do that as there are only three days of testing with two exams a day, hahah. I've also got quite a bit of preparing to do concerning the artwork that's required of me. Bit behind on that, oopsies. If only paint didn't take so long to dry and wasn't so darn expensive. Point is, I've got a lot on my plate at the moment and don't have much time to draw anything for fun to upload. So, I'll be away from dA for a while longer. Sorry to everyone I haven't thanked for a fave or watch or something yet, oh, and sorry to those people I owe a reply to as well. Hope you'll be patient with me!
Anyways, see y'all in a while! Bye-bye!
- Listening to: procrastination
- Reading: Rape Fantasies by Margaret Atwood
- Watching: ...the clock.
Thank you so much for seriously bringing me food... You're actually my hero. Slash, I'm going to stalk you in the halls now and be super friendly since you're my new favorite little frosh. You shall be spared when the seniors take their revenge on y'all for being so darn disrespectful. Bringing food to a senior automatically grants you protection. Seriously though, thank you so frickin' much for the happiness that is food~!!
Other than that, I'm not a huge fan of you little freshmen... Stay away from my senior lounge. And my senior staircase. And quit being so loud and obnoxious. And learn to not stand in the halls to talk about your unimportant social lives. Some of us actually have to get to class, so quit blocking my hallways. Maybe this is why we push y'all... Take a hint and have some consideration for actual stressed students trying to get to their honors or AP class.
Sophomores... Y'all are okay. I guess. You don't irritate me as much. Actually, I like y'all, hahah. Oh! And to the sophomores who bring me food on a weekly basis... Y'all are amazing. I'm bringing you to college with me so I don't starve!!
Juniors. Bleh. You annoy me. Almost as much as the freshmen. You're too cocky. Sorry to disappoint you, but you're not seniors yet. Which is why y'all were unfortunately punished. But~, I guess I sort of like y'all. You at least have some decency and aren't moronic underclassmen.
Meow. I'm actually typing this journal in order to avoid writing a paper on possibly the weirdest story I've ever had the misfortune to read... The fact that any one would write about it slightly worries me. Grr. On the bright side... Yeah, no bright side. It's an odd story.
Ohh~!! Wait, wait, totally proud of myself here... I'll be participating in the county wide (state wide? I have no idea...) physics competition~! I'm a nerd, shush. Anyways! My lovely micro mass tower kicked butt and now I get to kick more butt on a larger scale!! But actually, there's always someone who does it better, so I probably won't be kicking any butt. I'm excited to see what other people came up with though! ...Because I'm a nerd. O.o Anyways, it'll look good for college, yay!
Also, speaking of college... I think waiting to hear a response is the absolute worst... Not to mention the whole application process since college counselling doesn't like helping out us normallers. I'm sorry I'm not in the top five percent! Please pay attention to me, too! ...And actually come to school. It's your job.
Whoever had the bright idea that group projects would be convenient and fun should be brutally beaten. No only do they never work, but one person always ends up doing all the work, which in this case is me, and I certainly don't approve. Not that I terribly mind doing most of the work. I'd rather do the project myself and know I did it right than have some moron do half of it incorrectly. However, when I do most of the work and have to put someone else's name on it next to mine, that's ridiculous. Yeah, yeah, I know "life isn't fair" blah blah blah, but for God's sake, where the heck is the justice in all this? I demand to know how anyone can justify it as being completely and utterly fine. It certainly isn't.
Also, I'd like to point out that if you're in a group with someone, you shouldn't automatically expect the work to be done by one person just because you have "work". Everyone else works, too, 'ya know! And more so than you, 'ya soulless jerk. Learn to manage your time and get your part done instead of asking someone else to do it for you! Or, when you finally decide to get off your butt and do it, check your darn work, woman . And your grammar for that matter... Who doesn't know how to capitalize the first word in a sentence as a senior in high school ?? It worries me to know people such as herself even managed to pass the first three years... God, I hope she learns to make herself useful in the real world.
I'm so sorry for the random rant, but frustrations need to vented!! If they are, vicious explosions directed at an innocent bystander may occur, which would of course be unfortunate. For the record, I don't dislike dear Miss Group Partner. She's in fact a nice friend of mine. I just really, really dislike her as a group partner; she never lifts a finger. I sincerely hope she learns to not have such a horrid attitude and actually decides to contribute next time. Although, not in my group. I won't work with her again even if someone were to pay me. I'd sooner remove my thumbs. Wait, just kidding. I like my thumbs. A lot.
Thank you so much for sitting in front of me during the ACT! I really appreciated having your obnoxiously long hair in my face, as well as your fists every time you had the urge to stretch! It was so nice having my legs crushed by your desk, too! Pushing your desk back every five seconds is such a polite way of making friends. I'm so glad I had you in front of me instead of some moron with no sense of manners whatsoever! I can't even image what that would be like.
But actually, I hope someone pushes you over a cliff. O.o You have no soul.
Also, I was reading your essay after mine had been collected... Just so you know, "your" and "you're" are not interchangeable... I pity the one who has the misfortune of reading your essay.
I'm sure I'll see you at college, Miss Carly!