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Another World by sherwoodwhisper Another World :iconsherwoodwhisper:sherwoodwhisper 178 52 Sea Creatures by sherwoodwhisper Sea Creatures :iconsherwoodwhisper:sherwoodwhisper 195 14 Sisterhooves Squabble by sherwoodwhisper Sisterhooves Squabble :iconsherwoodwhisper:sherwoodwhisper 320 22 Bunny Hugs by sherwoodwhisper Bunny Hugs :iconsherwoodwhisper:sherwoodwhisper 227 7 Eri Expressions 5 by sherwoodwhisper Eri Expressions 5 :iconsherwoodwhisper:sherwoodwhisper 150 19 Eri Expressions 4 by sherwoodwhisper Eri Expressions 4 :iconsherwoodwhisper:sherwoodwhisper 296 29 Eri's Birthday by sherwoodwhisper Eri's Birthday :iconsherwoodwhisper:sherwoodwhisper 210 39 Never Again by sherwoodwhisper Never Again :iconsherwoodwhisper:sherwoodwhisper 182 22 Eri Expressions 3 by sherwoodwhisper Eri Expressions 3 :iconsherwoodwhisper:sherwoodwhisper 166 6 Eri Expressions 2 by sherwoodwhisper Eri Expressions 2 :iconsherwoodwhisper:sherwoodwhisper 211 18 Eri Expressions 1 by sherwoodwhisper Eri Expressions 1 :iconsherwoodwhisper:sherwoodwhisper 213 13 Spiketober 31: Slice by sherwoodwhisper Spiketober 31: Slice :iconsherwoodwhisper:sherwoodwhisper 302 6 Spiketober 30: Jolt by sherwoodwhisper Spiketober 30: Jolt :iconsherwoodwhisper:sherwoodwhisper 310 22 Spiketober 29: Double by sherwoodwhisper Spiketober 29: Double :iconsherwoodwhisper:sherwoodwhisper 260 9 Spiketober 28: Gift by sherwoodwhisper Spiketober 28: Gift :iconsherwoodwhisper:sherwoodwhisper 175 8 Spiketober 27: Thunder by sherwoodwhisper Spiketober 27: Thunder :iconsherwoodwhisper:sherwoodwhisper 263 24
First of all, thank you for reading the journal, I know few people do. You're the type that cares. ^^;

Okay, it's been a long time. And to me it just flashed by. I wanted to cry when I was told it's the last day of February tomorrow. Am I that old? Time, not so fast!!! Please! I can't even rest as done!

It's very hard to go back to art. I knew it would be and I knew it's wise to use the 4 month charge to keep drawing, that was the aim after all - to make me get used to drawing every day. But I was so tired, I had no days off for 4 months, I still can't believe I made it. So I let myself rest well and... well, the best I could do all this time is practice to stay in shape for the moment when I'd be able to draw again. When stars align and I have time, enough time and not a bunch of 5 minute shreds. Waaaah!

I need to dedicate a whole day to art to get somewhere. But by the time I sit down and know I can now draw it's 3 AM and I need to sleep to not be a zombie tomorrow and at least have a hope to have some time. Well, today I decided I'd just go ahead and use the night. So I managed to even upload something. Wow. I'll be a zombie tomorrow. Don't shoot me, I behave.

I know many people wait for the comic to go on and for some Patreon art, I have many obligations and I'm very ashamed that I take that long. I try to maintain some balance to not burn out in one single dash and to still be able to keep drawing. It doesn't help much but know that I think about my little Eri and art in general every day, I'm not gone, just fighting through the routine.

Yep, that's it, I guess. Thanks for your understanding and support, guys. I can't express how much I wish I didn't have to work, eat, sleep, do anything useless and time consuming and just spend some time with my family and draw, draw, DRAW. So many ideas, so little time. One day...

Oh, and if it helps - 4 months of every day uploads and 2 months of silence is same as 2 days uploads and 1 day off for half a year. Just... use your imagination, pretend I played the cards right and didn't do anything as stupid as 120 non-stop themes XD

 Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry... (c) Mei
  • Listening to: Kasarinchu - High, high, high
  • Drinking: Coffee

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sherwoodwhisper
Sherwood
Artist | Student | Digital Art

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Another World
I'm never sure if I should upload anything... less cheerful. But sometimes to express myself is the only option I have. It's better than nothing, I guess.

I... don't know what to do. Time flies by, another April, another decade. And I notice that I'm less and less capable of feeling, well, anything. Dealing with stress I once wished I could be absolutely calm and not affected by it. Not affected by tons of dirt I have to see in the web. So I got shielded layer after layer. I used to watch stuff like Nostalgia Critic thinking it's fun but very rude. Now I'm ok with that format. And... watching old cartoons I realize just how much less I feel now. No matter how I want to be open-hearted. I still remember those feelings. This rainbow of emotions. It was like colors had a sound, sounds had a taste, cartoon scenes had a scent. And now I'm... digitalized. I only get information. I watch the shapes, I memorizes some tricks, I can reproduce a lot. But the emotions are almost gone. More like I get memories of them, not real ones. Nothing new. No difference between watching old stuff or new stuff.

And that's awful. It's like being dead. My computer can do what I can do. Sure, I keep practicing a bit every day to stay in shape for the case I get something back. A strong wish to draw. Because I need it, it's my only salvation. And now... I sit for hours looking at the empty paper. It's not art block anymore. It's just new me. I feel like I only want some rest. I could sit and watch white paper forever. I don't get any itch, any boredom that would lead me to doing something. An artist without a hunger for experimentation is as good as dead.

I don't even feel like copying screen pauses like I did a million times before. It's now pointless. Why reproduce something if it brings no emotions? It's already created. Not by me. It feels like I've lost the ability to learn. Moving pencil on the paper without it is like raking desert during a sandstorm.

I kinda know where it comes from. Every time I tried to open myself up and create I was getting hit by life, hard. Again and again. And surviving took me to grow this shell. And now I can't get rid of it. I need it but even if I wanted to drop it and risk everything I couldn't. So even when I do get calm nights, I can't force myself to draw anything. Those challenges are about repeating the same thing. Same poses, same shapes. This above... it's nothing new. I did it 10000 times before. It's purely mechanical.

If you wanna see a person broken by life... grab a camera. I'm now strong, I can take many punches, I can tolerate trolling and rudeness, insults and sarcasm. But I can do less and less in art every day. It seems impossible today and I don't think it would get better tomorrow. Should I force myself? Keep scratching the paper hoping it would bring me somewhere? I have vitamins, I have some free time, I have web access, I have tutorials... Could be brain cancer? I dunno. I have no way of checking. Maybe I'm just boring and dumb. Maybe it's age, same as for everyone else.

Or maybe I'll feel guilty for pouring more snots onto you guys, maybe I'll regret going so soft and start drawing in a few days like I never did before. Hope dies last after all. But so far... the facts are grim. It's been like a year already. Probably two years of no comic pages. Many people are mad with me. I deserve that. I failed. If I had a chance I'd do something but I can't. I took several days of "hard reset" lately, doing absolutely nothing. Hoping that natural brain mechanisms would start to ask for some "input". It doesn't happen. I can lie on my bed looking at that old white ceiling forever. I guess I'm really broken.

Not a very nice "yay, 100k pageviews!" picture. Sorry. I wish I had a guidance. Someone telling me what's the right thing to do. Well, that would be a luxury to anyone. We're on the same boat, we don't know how to live a life since we never did before now. =D I really don't know how to get my feelings back. How to turn life colorful again. Any tips would of course be appreciated. Unless it's a cliche like "believe in yourself" and "take a break, change activity". Do that, did that, done that. If anything obvious worked I'd be uploading 5 artworks a day by now. :no:

"Don't make lemonade!"

-----
(EDIT) It feels awkward, almost like I fooled everyone, so I have to say that I don't have a depression. I guess it sounds like it. Depression is more of negative feelings, not a lack of these. I do get tired and upset, sure. But when I get well rested, entertained and fed I can call myself content. But even then I can't experience the perception I used to have as a child. It's more like going blind... inside. ^^; And as far as I know, there are no magnifying glasses for inner eyes. =D

It's nice of you all to try and cheer me up. I appreciate it very much. It also kinda makes me sad because you project your own feelings on me. Former feelings sometimes. Still, I wish I could do the same for you and support you. That's why I became an artist. To transmit emotions through paper into people's hearts. Make them feel better. But now... It's hard to have sympathy that comes from cold-headed knowledge. Knowing how to be kind and being kind are different things. Knowing how to draw sadness and feeling sadness... I'm not sad. And that's the worst. I wish I had depression, then I could cure it. But having nothing has no solution. I can only hope it would change. To better, to worse, to anything that does have a vector that could be turned around.
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Sea Creatures
Do you think she's gonna scream?

:iconerifaceplz: :iconsaysplz: No, I'm not!

Well then... go ahead and hug that big guy! =D

:iconeriaskplz: :iconsaysplz: I could. But I don't want to.
:iconcutepinkiepieplz: :iconsaysplz: I'll hug him! :dance:
:iconfluttershyblushplz: :iconsaysplz: I'll hug him. ^^;
:icontwilighthappyplz: :iconsaysplz: I'll study him! =D

Careful, girls. He pinches.
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Sisterhooves Squabble
One of my fav episodes. I dunno, I can never get the MLP style foals right. They turn out bigger under my hand. Oh well, I can't draw to save my life, you know that. ^^;

It's always fun to watch a conflict. Especially a natural one. Too little blessings, too different characters, too little fair competition... or babysitting little sis. Or having a friend being a jerk to your other friends. MLP is so good at these. That's why I love it. ^__^
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Bunny Hugs
I love this character. ^__^ There's a lot in the show I don't like. Especially the Peter Griffin type father. But I enjoyed some episodes. And this little cutie is just too adorable. I love kids in general. ^^; I get to babysit and despite all the stress it's a great time in my life.

Anais Watterson (c) "The amazing world of Gumball" by Ben Bocquelet
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Eri Expressions 5
Oh gosh, do I even still exist?! :O_o:

I'll skip the part where I apologize for a thousand times and just get to finishing this... expression list. ^^; Winters are busy for me. My family needs me, my friends need me, and even I need me for some rest. And then I get some and don't even remember how to draw anymore. So everything looks awful and I get even more upset... Yeah. So I'd take some 100-challenge to practice back to... uh, "normal". But then if I get distracted again and leave at 90% I'll scream and jump off a cliff! >_< Well, there's a lot of snow right now and I would only bump my rump. Anyway!

This one was finally Drunk, Rage, Sarcastic, Disgusted and Ill. Not usual for Eri. She looks older at two of these.

I'll just... shamely crawl back to my cave and draw something else. For once I can. Sorry. :ashamed:


Eri Expressions 5
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Eri Expressions 4
Ka-pow!

Well, some of these are a bit confusing. I mean, angry, fierce and raging are about the same. Should I make a gradation of the strength of the same emotion? I think Preston Blair had a more diverse emotion table for reference. I might try it later. With torn heads. wink :P Ok, drawing heads is such a guilty pleasure! I force myself to avoid that. =D

So these are... Blank, Incredulous, Confident, Fierce and Pouty (press download to see full size, yep)

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Eri's Birthday
Today Eri turned 4 years old. She has grown much. Developing her is a joy. In a way, she made my dreams come true. I wanted to fill characters with life and personality and love. Artists who do that know well that some characters get to live on their own. She often surprises me. It's rare that I know what I'm doing when I hold my pencil. She came and sit and I said "ok, let's try it like this". And in about 2 hours I'm holding a picture that I've ever seen before. And wonder where it came from.

Thank you, Eri! With you, my life is not as dark. ^^;

:iconerifaceplz::iconsaysplz: Hehe, silly dad! =D
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Never Again
Ever.

Sometimes I get brave and think "Why not?. I could get out there. I'm probably too careful and too prejudiced. Just because it happened several hundred times doesn't mean it will happen again." And in a few days...
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Eri Expressions 3
Today was cold :sigh:

Pinkie let Eri take some of her rubber chickens. Honk!

Fear, Bereft, Flirty, Serious and Silly (as always, press Download to see full size)

You know... Just... Never mind. :ashamed:

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Eri Expressions 2
More Eri expressions coming up. I still feel like I'm just drawing themes. So I go with my associations of the expression. Maybe. Or try to draw a situation where the expression would take place. I mean, I don't really get the essence of these. Just some tones. That was always a problem to me. Other artists see pure colors that they can use, pure poses, pure emotions. I get this "quadrillion possibilities for a start" and drown in it. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. I kinda envy those who can simply express something in a swing of a pencil. Like "standard C18/3, just like practiced". =D

Oh well.

You know, it's a bit weird. The style gets more into me and I look back at my older artworks with fear. I probably still make a ton of mistakes and will only see them later, in a few years, but... Gosh, the comic was awfully drawn. ^^;

Kay, here we go with tired, shocked, irritated, WTH and triumph. (press Download to see full size)

My hand is falling off again. I just can't draw bit-by-bit every day, I need to sit down and do 6-hour rush. I'm terrible at multitasking. Or rather my sick perfectionism demands 100% dedication and any less seems like failure. I'm weird. :shrug:

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Comments


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:iconralv1234:
ralv1234 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2019
You have a really wonderful line art. I like it very much and you are an inspiration for me.
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:iconbigshot232:
Bigshot232 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2018
Hi sherwoodwhisper, 

Just wanted to let you know, if your interested that is, derpibooru is having its 3rd yearly community collab event. Artists draw an OC and it gets added to a group photo thats published in the new year. We see a lot of your drawings of Eri (and most recently Inktbers Spike) and just thought i'd drop a message about it. You can upload a drawing without an account too if thats a concern.  

If your interested, heres a link to the forum post that helps sets out the rules: derpibooru.org/forums/art/topi…

Anyway, hope to see you there! ;)   
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:iconbing-klosby:
Bing-Klosby Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Gosh, your drawings are amazing! I can't get past you.
A big good luck with your next works! :heart: :huggle: :yay: 
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(1 Reply)
:iconlennonblack:
LennonBlack Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You have quite the knack for drawing Spike!
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(1 Reply)
:iconpwhateverer:
PWhateverer Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2018
Fantastic work! :D
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(1 Reply)
:iconsnowliasion:
Snowliasion Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
I promoted your wonderful art to my friends. I hope that is fine with you?
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(1 Reply)
:iconfoxy-fiveacp:
Foxy-FiveACP Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2018  Hobbyist
Absolutely gorgeous work.
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(2 Replies)
:iconallthecircles:
allthecircles Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Don't mind me. Just watching. I won't be any trouble :)
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:iconjimmyhook19202122:
jimmyhook19202122 Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2018  Student General Artist
Hey, I always kind of wonder.... but have you ever drawn Princess Luna in her S1 Design before? ^^;
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(1 Reply)
:iconjoakaha:
Joakaha Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Nice gallery dude, I like Eri. ^,^ :clap:
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(1 Reply)
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