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Arise from out your journey through the night,
Oh, hither come, and lay you at my side,
Temptation calls, ‘tis known in our delight,
Unfeigned our passion by ephemeral light,
For here a tangled mass, two hearts now tied.

For in the night our feelings be not vied,
Together a still-life to gaze away from eyes
Of passerby’s, herein there passions are denied,
Within this place, a home we can confide
And glide a hand across a shaven thigh.

A sensuous touch, relief resounds in sighs,
In this worldly escape upon the earth,
Abode of paradox and paradise
Is found; within soft lips, soft words – such cries;
Provoking inside the soul a youthful mirth.

In a vice of sheets the forms and souls give birth
To a daughter of want, a child of passion’s fire,
With mind alive, connected to the earth,
She struts but bound to silk in a softly woven skirt,
With shadows of time revealing desires.

Let sleep descend upon the funeral pyre,
Where rests the spirit of shadows by light
That flickers on a clock and forms a cyclical mire
To dream and hope by the sound of a modern lyre;
But worry us not, and rest before there is new sight.
Written for one here on DA, my "internet lover" so to speak.
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Axterxes Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2004
did you rub some sex on it?
sharkoftheday Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2004  Hobbyist Writer
What do you think?

I rubbed a theme of Shakespeare's first few sonnets in it for sure. Nowadays that theme would almost be considered homophobic...
hezekiah Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2004
Vivid use of imagery and evocative use of words cause odd distortions in my head... You've done something very right here in other words. Undoubtedly, an exceptional poem :).
peppermint981 Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2004
wow, this is absolutely beautiful! You are such a wonderful and powerful poet! I can only dream of writting so powerfully. It flows amazingly. I definetily like this type of erotic poem. I believe that's one thing that many people misunderstand, that you can be extremely sexy and classic at the same time. This is definetely a classic.
sharkoftheday Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2004  Hobbyist Writer
That was unfinished. I wish i could help, or i might.

Ah, first off, write with thoughts as well as emotions, this style is essentially exhibiting the concepts without tangible imagery surrounding it. That is part of the basis of the power.

Secondly, use the highest possible words, the words should in their mere voicing have a sense of glory, fear, lust, or whatever emotion is trying to be evoked. In this manner, as a result of their individual power, their use will be that much more effective in stating what is desired. Much of the power comes not only from how the words are stated, but the reader's reaction to the words: as an example, the word consummation as it is read contains this sense of being a high concept to thought, thus it evokes this precise reaction from the reader, and sometimes a greater reaction than the word's actual meaning (in this case, an ideal state or state of perfection).
Granted, this may make everything sound like bs, but the effect of words depends on how deeply they can touch the person inside and touch oneself.

The third point is the structure, a personal preference and is usually one's own development. Whatever structure can be utilized for expression is what should be used. There's much to be said about this, but little wakeful time remaining in this night, but the structure is my personal favorite part, as it allows manipulation of the system of language. :P

This rhyme scheme was bugging me for a few months in trying to use it, so it is now another tool to use. I am pretty sure i found this from one of Robert Frost's poems. Unspoken thanks for the fave.
peppermint981 Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2004
wow, so true. Thank you so much for all of these wonderful incites. Just taking the time means a lot to me. Thank you. :)
sharkoftheday Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2004  Hobbyist Writer
Your welcome

A fan of disillusionment though? :confused: Its good to bring the romantic back down to reality, but a fan seems to stretch it, lol.
sharkoftheday Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2004  Hobbyist Writer
Perhaps it takes one who is virgin to the act itself to draw the focus away from it, or else that's an excuse. Most that i've read that are classic are also disillusioning (which is the main reason they are noteworthy). :blushes:
peppermint981 Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2004
I'm a fan!
peppermint981 Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2004
powerful poetry! :) :clap: :clap:
frankienexus Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2004   Writer
the romance burns heavy in this, it kinda detaches us from it because of the language, but the mood shines through and makes it sigh worthy
sharkoftheday Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2004  Hobbyist Writer
That happens when trying to keep it in iambic pentameter (with two fuck it reversions to hexameter, heheheh). Took months of searching for empty words before it could be complete.

Fuck it, loving only those whom can never come.
To need more than want will find loneliness in consequence.
Nyasa Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2004
Hi, I like the romantic form of this, the structure. Paradox and paradise was a nice semiplay on words to read. All in all it's a good romantic poem, but there's nothing memorable about it. Don't get me wrong, I like it and enjoyed reading it, but it needs just a few real unique lines perhaps metaphorical that will stay in the reader's head. Just my opinion, keep writing, you've got some great potential :)
sharkoftheday Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2004  Hobbyist Writer
Appreciated, I don't get enough criticism.

The funeral pyre was intended as metaphorical. There was a love shared but, because of its nature, the only thing that could come from it was death. It was intended to represent that the only fruit of the love and child was death and would expire as soon as the bodies passed, stolen from past.
I guess the metaphors are obscure if even present, but about homosexual love nevertheless.
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