Yearly journal update! Does anyone even read these? I've been so very dead here on DA but if for whatever weird reason you want to still see my art, some of it's over here: twitter.com/Fukurosuzaku/momen…
How's life been? Well, my entire already small team left for better jobs, so I'm basically solo now. The very least my team lead is understanding enough that our workplace is just fucking stupid in that they're not hiring any replacements, so nobody expects me to do 4x more work. More accurately, "working on it". But given where I work, I'm not gonna see any change in the next year. That's cool. I'm also still a temp. Also "working on it".
Lately, just trying my best not to let my mind wander into bad places. With the amount of stuff I have no control over, I just generally feel really helpless when it comes to work. It sucks. Because that's 8 hours of my day feeling like shit. Why don't I just find another job? Easier said than done. And while it's pretty demoralising just how broken everything is from our programs to the way things are done, the only thing keeping me there is the fact that I don't have to deal with people very much, and no one cares when I slack off a little. The standards here are so painfully low that my slack pace is as good as the norm. Also it pays a decent amount that I'm aggressively saving up.
But enough about my crappy work life.
I've been travelling much more lately. And by that I mean going on at least 1 out of country trip a year. As much as I don't like the hassle of hauling my ass across the border or the time zone switching or the fatigue when I get home, it does wonders for me on a mental level. I'm able to fully disconnect myself from my daily garbage (aka work) and just... turn my brain off in a healthy way and immerse myself in the present moment. The feeling of "being away from everything" is just awesome.
It might be sad to be living this way though, wading in trash for most of my days, then escaping from it when I can afford to. I hope someday I'll be in a place that doesn't suck, a place where I want to come back to and go to everyday. It's gonna be slow, but I will make something happen. Through all the depression I've been facing lately, I'm glad that I haven't lost sight of a certain goal I want to reach. Slowly but surely, I'm working towards it.