unfound and scattered
caught on a breeze and carried away by high minded winds, low feeding gusts of stuck and sundered thoughts.
broken mid thought - collapsed into a colliding mess of carefully collected whims and rationalities. impossibilities. halted truths.
for long sought whims and wantings. validations. petty but true, petty but persistent. so petty and young.
shallow yet so deeply carved into the woodwork of will.
of knowing; painful knowing. unsought tap tap tapping fiddling fingers so fickle in their distractions, hiding an exposed and nerved vein to the open air.
love in the letting go
yet in the caring
in the cradling, in the helping.
in the building up to stand on your own two feet without me
till you can see who i see
who all else can see but you.
a person of will
of beauty and wit.
and while i see my strengths now
and my weaknesses, oh i see them. faults that cut and build and scar.
oh how i know me.
i know that as i am,
though i know it is passing,
i must let it pass,
let myself be it,
let me form and forge a path of growth
a being outside of that which built me
that which saved me
that which loves me forever.
and stand away - apart from my happiness
apart from my stars and moon.
till i am grown up enough
till i am me and more
till we may live and love and need and feel and know. beyond all.