“Come on Tim it’ll be fun” said Tina
“Yeah right, how can it be fun for me to be dressed up like a girl in drag? Says I
If you come with me and my friends to Drag-con I’ll go with you to the Monster Truck thing next week.
So tempting but I refuse, of course she turns on the water works, “We never do anything together, I think your going off me”
“Im sorry Tina I just dont want to look ridiculous,” (Big mistake on my part)
“I understand honey, so let me and my friends make you up and if you can still see a man under all the makeup we wont go, Deal?”
What could I say she had me, “Ok” she said “Lets get all that hair off you first, go into the shower and put his depilatory cream where ever you see hair except your head of course ha ha”
Twenty minutes later I was hairless, and quiet cold actually, “Ok sweetie hold these while I put the glue on” Tina handed me what looked like rubber boobs, “Ok now I have to hold these on your chest until the glue dries” she said, it was a strange feeling it was sexy because it looked like my girlfriend was holding boobs, but they were my boobs. Really weird.
“OK now we need a girls name for you I like Charlee”
After the glue dried she wrapped her corset around my waist and moved my boobs into the cups, I’d seen the corset before, we had had some fun times when she wore it but now it was my turn, I remember thinking this is crazy! As I stood up all I could say was....
“OMG I look like a girl”
“Thats what I wanted to hear now you have no choice, I told you, me and the girls could do it, and you ain’t seen nothing yet, wait till we do your drag look, lol.”
“Drag look? what do you mean isnt this my drag look,?” I asked
“Of course not, we have a whole new look, your going to love Charlee”
We set off to go to the Drag-Con, I asked Tina “Why is everyone looking at me?”
“I hate to tell you this Charlee but your one hot girl, look in the mirror if you need proof”
When we got to the show we were shown to a separate cubicle and the shows organizers took a picture of me, kind of a before and after shot, I was so happy about the private cubicle because it meant no one could see me, first, all the girls took off all the make up they had put on me at the house, they they started cleaning my face with some pads, to be honest I was just sat there in a leather chair, I just let them get on with it, after about an hour they said I was ready to have my wig fitted, they told me not to look in the mirror as they wanted my final look to be a surprise, Oh man what a surprise, I looked like some kind of glamour girl from the 80’s, all that hair.
The show wasnt due to start for another hour, Tina wanted me to get used to walking in the heels I had on, we went to the food tent but she told me I couldnt have anything because it would spoil my make up, (It sucks being a a girl) so while they were snorting down cheese burgers I had to just sit there, I was looking around at all the other girls to see what my competition looked like, Some of them were totally over the top, I didnt care, the last thing I wanted was to win, lol.
Show time came around I couldnt wait to get all that make up off and look forward to next weeks monster truck derby, I stepped onto the stage with the other girls, but when I looked they all looked like actual girls, then it clicked Tina had entered me for the girls in drag instead of boys in drag, I tried to tell her but she just winked at me, I’d been set up.
It got down to the last three, me and two other real girls....
“And in third spot” said the announcer, “Jennifer Lawrence” and everyone clapped,
“And runner up for tonight’s show is” (Big drum roll) Please be me, please be me.
OMG I’d won
The winner of the twentieth anniversary show is “Marilyn Monroe,”
The audience went wild, (Did I really look like Marilyn Monroe?)
Just as the crowd stopped clapping a woman from the back (I think it was Jennifer Lawrence’s mother) shouted, “He's not a girl hes a man” the crowd went silent, someone came and rushed me off stage and took me to an office, the manager was there and they asked me if I was a man or a woman, I only ask because in your before picture you look like a girl, of course I said “I was indeed a man, is that a problem?”
The manager held his head in his hands he was looking around the room for someone to blame, “How can this be, I have run this show for twenty years and this has never happened before” The other staff in the room got their heads together to come up with a plan to save face.
“What about this?” Said one
“No that wont work” said another
“We could do this,” said yet another
They were really struggling to come up with a solution, the manager came over to me and said there is really only one solution, “How would you feel about pretending to be a girl, it would only be for a year or so?” We would buy all the clothes you needed, pay for your schooling and set you up in a downtown condo, with a car maybe?”
“No way” was my answer, “Im not dressing as a girl,” just then Tina came into the office, I explained what they wanted to do to me just to save a law suit. Tina said
“Its not a bad offer Charlee”
“Are you crazy?’’ I asked, but Tina was on a roll, What kind of car are you offering? She asked. “How about a jaguar?” Said the manager keen to resolve this fast, “Ooh a Jag Tim, havent you always wanted a Jag?”
OMG I couldnt believe what my girlfriend was saying, I would dress as a girl, go to school as a girl and drive a jag AS A GIRL?
“Can he keep the Jag and the condo after the time is up? Tina asked??????