Mr. John Stone lived at Number 6 Holly Oaks Way.
Mr Johnstone lived at Number 9 Holly Oaks Way.
Not much difference right?
Well on the 20th of February it would make an enormous difference.
John Stone, at number 6 wasn't much of a handyman, he had let his property fall into disrepair, his wife was on his case almost every day, even the number on the door only had one screw in it, and every so often it would spin around and he would get the mail for his close neighbor at number 9.
His wife Emma had had enough of him she had wanted a new Air Conditioning Unit for so long and when she saw an ad in the local newspaper she phoned them to get a quote on a new unit...What she didnt know was she had dialled the wrong number, she hadnt called the local Air Conditioner store, she had called a professional Trans Gender clinic
This is how the call went....
Good Morning, Jenny speaking, how can I help you.....
Hi, Im phoning about changing the unit in my home...
Yes Madam I'm sure we can help you with that, could I ask you a few questions?
Of course what do you need to know?
So do you need Hot and Cool....Yes
Would you like a remote... Oh yes my husband would like that.
We have a voice control box also..... Hmm how does that work?
We insert a voice box so you can communicate with the unit...... Yes please.
Now with this unit we have two settings Hot or Cool.... Ok
How high do you want the unit to be?..... about 5 feet 4 inches? is that normal?
Yes that would be about right..... ok
What size unit would you like?...... What sizes do you have
We have 36" - 24" - and 34"..... Yes any of those would be fine.
What fittings do you have at present, Male or Female?..... Male.
Thats ok we can change them from Male to Female its not a problem.....Ok
And all the internal plumbing will be changed also..... Ok thanks.
Now the units legs, would you like long, medium or short?.... Long I believe.
So let me go through your answers....
You want your unit to be Hot in the winter and Cool in the summer.... Yes
You would like a remote for unit..... Yes
You want the voice box... Yes
You want the Hair to be Hot and Cool....Yes
You want the unit to be 5' 4 inches or there abouts....Yes
You want your unit to be 36"-24"-34".... Yes
You want the fittings changed from Male to Female.... Yes
Including Internal plumbing.... Yes
And finally you want the unit to have long legs? Is that all correct?... Yes
Ok we will have a fitter around within the week.... Thank you so much.
The fitter arrived but it wasn't the one John expected, you see the number on his door had swung around and the fitter had gone to the wrong house, Mr John Stone was expecting a fitter to fit his new air conditioner, but what he got was completely different.
Are you Mr Johnstone?.......Yes I am Mr John Stone
Ok, Now, before we begin I need your wrist, we start each installation using a chip for identification, before he could say anything the fitter had inserted a chip in his wrist,
"Ouch" he said "Whats that for"?
I told you its for identification it was all authorized by your wife, I am only here for the voice box installation and the chip, Mr John Stone soon began to feel dizzy, when he awoke a voice box had been fitted into his throat, he didnt know it yet but when he spoke in a weeks time his voice would be that of a woman.
As he awoke the fitter was helping him outside to a waiting ambulance. Mr John Stone looked confused, but feeling dizzy as he did, he didnt question the ambulance.
They arrived at the clinic after about an hour, again the fitter helped John Stone into surgery he was laid out on the operating table still dizzy from the chip insertion, but still feeling everything that was happening to him.
They started on his face, according to the chip and the information that had been given to them by his wife, His hair was to be HOT, so they dyed it blonde, and so was he, the surgeon worked quickly and plumped up his lips and elongated his eyes and eyelashes, then he shortened his nose to a more feminine size.
When he had finished his facial features, he wrapped his head in bandages, John did try to tell the surgeon that he was making a mistake, that all he wanted was a new Air Conditioning unit, but the voice box wouldnt allow him to do that, well at least for another week and that was going to be too late.
John's legs needed to be long according to his wife so they added bone to his femurs and he would now have the long legs wife his had requested, they added implants to his chest and trimmed his waist to get the 36"-24"-34" that was requested, he was feeling no pain because of the drugs they were giving him.
Next they moved onto his plumbing which was to be changed from Male to Female, including internal plumbing, lastly the remote was inserted, I'll let you guess where that went shall I ????
Finally he was dressed in a french maids outfit to make him look HOT. When they delivered John back home, his wife was totally taken aback when she saw her husband, she may have lost a useless husband she thought, but wow what a hot maid she had gained.
So guys, when your wife asks you to fix the number
on your door get right to it will you