Seyumei

So.. I really didnt want to make this journal, but I feel like I need to explain why I've been so slow at uploading anything and why I havent been as socially active online as I used to be. I really thought I would be able to get over this by now and I wouldn't have to bring it up, but its just been affecting me for so damn long and its been harder to hold it in. But basically... I lost my mother. Not in a sense that she's dead. No, shes alive and well. But its more like I lost her in a different way (in a way, it actually feels worse). I really dont want to go more into the matter publicly since its very, very personal to our family. But just know that this situation was so damn awful, it was close to driving me to suicide. But I'm pretty sure this is the root of what's been eating at me since late November till now. Right now I'm just trying to forget everything and move past what happened, but its incredibly hard when its in the back of your mind constantly and is something that