How to not look like a disgusting geek.

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Serain's avatar
By Serain
Guide to Not Looking Like A Disgusting Geek by Cleaning Up Your Facial Hair
By Serain.

I was getting dinner, minding my own business, when a group of loud obnoxious disgusting geeks drew attention to themselves in front of me. They laughed at their own jokes, spewed internet memes every other second, and talked about webcomics. Now, this already puts them in the "do not date" category, but I really would have given them a second chance if they didn't have a huge flaw: disgusting facial hair.

Now, if you look around a college or highschool campus, teenage males will probably be sprouting facial hair right and left. There are many ways to manage it, and many different facial hairstyles. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean you are suited for any of them, or that you'll even look passable.

Back to my predicament. The geeks (and I don't mean geeks in an endearing way) ability to draw attention to themselves led me to believe that guys who fall into the category of disgusting geeks have no idea that they are, in fact, disgusting. Cleaning up your facial hair is one easy, inexpensive, and usually painless way to make you look less repulsive and more attractive to the opposite gender.

So I have written this journal to provide a few guidelines.

Part 1: Rule of Thumb.
If you have a defined jawline, it is okay, perhaps even attractive, to have jaw hair.

If you don't, then DON'T. If you have a round face, DON'T try to generate a jaw line by shaving your facial hair in such a way. It'll look ridiculous.
Exhibit A: Neck hair. Neck hair is repulsive no matter who has it. If you are to have facial hair, keep it on your face. Neck hair makes you look like a caveman, or a hobo. And I honestly haven't seen many girls vying to date hobos.

Part 2: How to Look Like A Lazy Unkempt Computer Nerd
It's easy: You can not shave.

You can easily do it by growing out your facial hair, or having baby fluff on your face and refusing to shave it off.
Exhibit A: Many, many asian males are guilty of this. As they can only grow thin hairs in general, they tend to ignore it if it somehow is growing. It comes in this type, which I like to call fluff, on the corners of their mouths. And it makes you look lazy and disgusting. When my cousin started showing this, I managed to avoid making a mention of it for two months, then I couldn't stand it anymore and badgered him hour after hour to shave it off, until he did.
Exhibit B: Many white males are guilty of this, which is forgoing shaving entirely. Facial hair punishes this by building up everywhere. On their neck too. By god, at least, please, please shave your neck. And then shave the rest of it off too.

Part 3: So You Have Curly Hair
Good for you! Many people think curly hair is very attractive.
Please don't ruin it with a revolting beard - unless you keep it short, in which it is okay.

Part 4: Conclusion.
It really depends on the type of face you have to show if you can pull of facial hair or not. I know many girls who don't like any kind of facial hair AT ALL, and some who think a little bit is attractive, but I'm afraid I don't know any who crave heavily bearded men. In order to be safe, just shave it all off. Facial hair is simply not fashionable in this day and age.

Disclaimer: This guide was written for comedic purposes only. Also, not to be pretentious, but I saw several examples of all of these within the half hour I was at the school dining court for dinner. None of these people ate with any persons of the female gender.


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I'll live alone before I live beardless.

PS: You sound like am immature brat.
Serain's avatar
P.S. This post is over 5 years old.

P.S. Why are you replying to a 5 year old post?
Xoct's avatar
The in-between stages of growing facial hair is unattractive, I know this. Who likes to see patchy/scraggly/misshapen/curly hair on a guy's face like me? It's experimentation to see how exactly it will grow out, and actually work on taming my facial hair to make it look decent.

There's at least 3 keys to attracting the opposite sex; Physical Attraction, Body Language, and Personality.

-Physical Attraction: Either a member of the opposite sex finds you attractive or not. However one individual's judgement does not represent the entire population. If one female does not find me attractive, this opinion will not snowball into the entire female population to share the same view. On a deeper thought, what one does not find attractive, may indeed be attractive to someone else.

I won't cover Body Language or Personality for sake of staying on track in response to Facial Hair.

Anyhow, I had gone clean-shaven or quite some time now. I look very young, you would mistake me for a teenager still in high-school, without the acne which is nice. I am actually in my 20's so you can only imagine the looks I get, or don't get.

I don't know if women hold themselves back in fear of finding attraction for a guy that appears to be underage. That's what actually started me to think growing some facial hair would be the answer. I originally thought that facial hair would be a sign that I'm of legal age that's it's okay to look at me like that.

Here I see that is not going to be the case. Does not matter if I have facial hair or not, women I meet are usually pre-occupied with a relationship as is.

Here's what I notice though about women who don't like facial hair. From the girls I have spoken with, their belief is that facial hair looks likes pubic hair, they can not help but make that association. These are the women who typically freak out, and have this obsession to shave. They believe it is nasty/disgusting/"ewwie"/ect, and of course that's in their own right to feel that way. Don't get me wrong, it was nice when my previous girlfriends shaved their jungle down under.

LSS: Damned if I do, damned if I don't. I'll keep my facial hair for now ;P
HolyMane's avatar
you're just jealeous of my amazing geek beard of awesome , and it CAN atract females aprently...

wait, i have a cool jaw line and no neck beard ,all you say is true D:

funny stuff :B
reverseg's avatar
I have long wavy hair and a standard 'stache. The 'stache hasn't grown past its current size since I was 18 (which means not much) and my genetics mean I don't have facial hair anywhere else.

In other words, I'm starting to look like John Lennon during his Sgt. Pepper days.

And I like it.

Granted, I will shave my 'stache later on (I doubt it'll grow back) - here's hoping I don't need to wear glasses or get shot when I'm 40...
Dragon-Knight333's avatar
I love this journal!! If I could I would fav it so many times!!

Facial hair is very unattractive.... but, if you have the right facialtype than stubble or five o'clock shadow can look great.

...but I agree with you, facial hair is a big no b:
Judaism is also a belief, so even if you didn't know they were jewish, if you called them unhygenic and smelly, you would be considered anti-semit, though jews through time(like herlz) from 1850 and so forth is considered attractive, if you think that jews smell and that they are unnattractive, then so be it. Attraction is not a choice exacly. They managed to convince their non jewish friends to grow a beard in the same style they did, which was 12 cm hanging. And they were both blondes with curly hair(not just black) so its pretty much the same if they dressed non-religously and still had a beard and attracted the women, that it works.

If you are an anti-semit and think that jews are smelly and ugly, then you may of course think so, Deviant art has no rules against that even if I disagree about it. I do however hope not everyone here thinks that the jewish people are wrong in that growing a attractive and not ugly.
Serain's avatar
You say not liking facial hair is anti-semitic and not having facial hair is unattractive? I think you're racist. I take great offense that you are racist against my race, the Chinese. In fact, you are racist against all oriental peoples, including Japanese, Koreans, Vietnamese, etc. We can't grow tons of facial hair, and if you think that's ugly and unattractive, then that's fine. But don't go spouting your racist comments on my journal.

People like you are the ones who locked up Japanese in prison camps in WWII, and forced hard-working Chinese people to take dangerous, second-rate jobs. Many people got killed in those jobs, you know.

Now lets look at what is more attractive. Firstly, Chinese people cannot grow much facial hair and being clean-shaven has been considered attractive for many years. Now look: China has a huge population, making up at least 2 billion of the worlds 6 billion population. Many, many people got laid to get that number - undoubtedly due to the fact that we can't grow much facial hair. That is not even counting other oriental countries. These are facts.

Japanese and Chinese have influenced modernism a lot. If you hate modernism, then you hate Chinese.
>and not having facial hair is unattractive?

If you can quote me saying that people that does not have facial hair does are unnattractive in a majority or has massive problems getting laid, compared to a few, then you must do so.

Thus, stating that people with beard or without beard is unnattractive is bad, yes, a few do on both sides, though I know its far better to like both of it then to display anger due to the lack of ability to grow a beard or the ability to grow a beard to fast so you have to shave all the time. They can't both be attractive I supose?
It was more people like "you" of chinese descent, that locked up japanese in prison camps at a greater number, though you had your reasons I supose

"The Japanese attacked on July 7, 1937, falsifying an attack at the Marco Polo Bridge. December 1937 they took Nanjing, the Kuomintang capital. Crowded with refugees, the Nationalists abandoned Nanjing to its fate at the hands of the Japanese. Over a period of six weeks, hundreds of thousands of Chinese were killed, women were raped, and the city sacked in what became known as the “Rape of Nanjing.”"

Source is "[link]"

Modernism, or the paintings of it,well, if you hate it, acording to this, then you are an anti-semitO_O

"the Nazi government in Germany deemed it narcissistic and nonsensical, as well as "Jewish" and "Negro" (see Anti-semitism). The Nazis exhibited modernist paintings alongside works by the mentally ill in an exhibition entitled Degenerate art "

Source "[link]"

As such, ask people in the West if sympathy more with, western history or eastern history, if they do sympathise more with western history, then they will probably sympathise more with the jews then any asians in terms of majority that is, many people have never heard of the crimes made in the east due to the board of education does not have that on their list of what to teach in schools around the country.

tl:tr if western people care for jews more and jewish history and never heard of any crimes in asian history, then they will also probably go more for the jewish one.

If you have any other claims, give source for it, I argued with anti-semites before and they rarely have sympathy on forums.
Dragon-Knight333's avatar
...Wow, I rarely ever see people so racist on the internet. And yet, here you are!

People do not have relations with others for sympathy, by the way. If they do, then they are absolutely, 100% stupid.

Fine, ask me who I have more sympathy for? I live in America, and honestly, I feel more sympathy for the Asian populace, not the Jewish populace. If you think that me saying that makes me anti-semetic then you have no idea what you are getting into, but go ahead.

By the way,
Your sources have NOTHING proving Serain is anti-semetic.

Oh, and another thing? Facial hair is unattractive. It shows that you aren't clean, and you don't know how to take proper care of yourself. The least someone can do is keep themselves clean-shaven.
Izobelle's avatar
We never asked "Who does Dragon-Knight333 have sympathy for? that decides the argument!" or if anyone who has the most sympathy for. Though to state that the western majority in the United states holds the majority of the population a gigantic more sympathy for judaism and other jews, most western countrie's education system do, as they are educated as such.

Saying that jews who belive that growing a beard is in their faith, their religion, and belive that strongly, and suddenly gets called "smelly, unattractive, and unclean" is anti-semit

Calling jews smelly unnattractive and unclean is quite anti-semit, and racist.

The source I gave was to give an argument for that the japanese attacked china, and was the ones that put them into camps.

I for one have not stated that people without facial hair is unnattractive and smelly or that they "look young, immature DURR HURR" She was the only one who stated beards/facial hair is negative, I have not stated people of either appearance is unattractive, rather defended the people that were called out to be put negatively.

Another example would be "Taoism, Mystics and priests in Taoist practices also grow their beards and hair, but always have the latter tied in a knot or tail."

"The Nazis and some local police organizations, showed an utter disregard Torah scrolls, orthodox men were humiliated publicly, in such acts as cutting off the corner of their beards, a practice ordained in the Torah, [Pentateuch]; and clergy summarily murdered. 1"

Source is [link]

If I held the opinion that no facial hair is unattractive and bad, then it would be possible to stamp it one me as racist, against certain religion that shaves for their beliefs, but as I didn't and don't hold that opinion, you can't, you need a basis against it.

One can be on Deviant art, on the street or even on a persons own house, I still won't tolerate anti-semitism or racism against jewish people, you should hold sympathy for Taoist, as they also grow beard, instead of calling them unattractive and smelly, they are asian, all you need to state is that

"Asian, jews and other religions who grow beards are not unattractive, unclean and smelly"
Dragon-Knight333's avatar
....wth? I never said that my choice would be the deciding fctor, and you have no right saying who the west has more sympathy for there is no quantitative data for that, only your own made up data in your own made up world.
Yet again, Serain is not saying that it is unnatractive in general, she is saying that is her own preference. I do not see how that makes anyone anti-semetic when it is HER OWN CHOICE.
And I am going to be honest, your 'sources' don't mean SHIT to me. I have already read plenty about what the germans did, what everyone else has done, that it means nothing to me when you try to prove a point, especially when it has NOTHING to do with the point.
And please please show me where I was acting 'anti-semetic' as you say, because I did not once make a comment that could be mistaken for that.
Izobelle's avatar
Ehhh that old argument, someone hacked my account. Id never argue about such a thing. peace.
edit: Wrote on second account# Baaaw

Hopefully you can still say that Taoist and jews are not unattractive
However, I think that people who practice judaism, jews, are very attractive and manly with their beard, and that they do get laid.

I do not think people with a big beard looks unhygienic, as stated, not many people in the USA thinks jews who got big beards look unhygienic or have trouble getting laid.

Of course, there are those who detest jews for their facial hair, long curly hair and thick beards, but thankfully the number ofanti-semites in the US is quite small, so you don't hear "-:God look at that jew/those jews, they got so big disgusting beards"

Of course, you can always counter that people with curly hair and thick facial hair is quite attractive, and you give examples of such, that 2-3 cm hair is quite attractive and that girls go for older men with them, or at least 7-9 looking girls does, this has mostly to do with psychology of the girls, as the more attractive they are, the more aproached they been, as such raising their standards to someone older male with experience, as its far easier to get laid for them.

Thats one way to counter anti-semitism. In short, both thick facial har 2-3 cm is attractive, even on rounder faces, as it hides the jaw sometimes if its thick, and if it isn't, then just wait until it becomes thick, since you can't "will" it thicker.

Of course, jews with 5-8 cm that hides their jaw are also attractive, also black men with long hair and beard are considered attractive.
Serain's avatar
I've gotten quite a few comments by people who think beards are attractive, women and men. I think ~homarusrex left a pretty good account of why beards are awesome a couple pages back xD. Modernism, it seems, has made these people a minority. But each to their own, really :)
JRHill's avatar
I think someone's jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelooouuuuuuuus:music:
Serain's avatar
xD Am I jealous because I can't grow a beard? I never knew that a beard was the milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard!
JRHill's avatar
It also doubles as sandpaper when you are in a bind down at the workshop.
bazcom's avatar
Serain's avatar
xD Did this get posted somewhere? It's strange to get so many comments on it in such a short time.

And uh, I'm sorry you sigh about this post! It's supposed to bring lols!
Bluu02's avatar
*proceeds with lulz 4 all of the seriousness tht this journal entry has witnessed*


wow... i assume u have no sense of humor dieman?
This was (as clearly stated at the bottom) for laughs... my god. And the whole 'Shoving your ego down someone's throat' was clearly ment as a figure of speech.

I didn't reply to his messages, but feel free to relay my message to him if he comes back, Serain.

P.S. I dn't like it wen I grow neck hair. It feelz funny. . . just needed to add sumthin bout beards. . .
Serain's avatar
xD I actually got less seriousness than I expected. I'm glad so many people can have lols at this. Thank you xD
Bluu02's avatar
ur welcome! it washilarious... dieman just took it too seriously. bleh upon him!
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