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So, have you ever had a feeling that you don't care about something that was important to you some time ago? That you've lost something, but you no longer care? 'Cause that feeling is sooo wrong that it feels right.

So, your humble servant has some personal life (don't look at me in that tone of voice!)... And I used to care about that person a lot. I used to solve problems, help... When that person had trouble, I couldn't sleep, work, study, eat until I solved that problem. Even when that person treated my awfully, I always felt guilty, even though I never did anything wrong... Ok, sometimes, I can ask everyone not to bother me, 'cause I am tired. But I sleep for 4-5 hours every day. I sometimes need rest during day. I helped that person to find job, to study, listened to every problem and found solutions to ALL of them. And this has been lasting for 3 years! When something went wrong I blamed myself, even though I could do nothing! 
But things got different recently.
I feel pretty aloof. I no longer care. I try to care and help, but... Nothing helps. I don't know what to do. Anyone had this?
So, you might have noticed, I've been away lately. I have a very serious reason to do so.
I have fornd a full-time job as a game designer! Celebrate Fireworks Celebrate Fireworks Celebrate 
So this month was partly dedicated to my exams and partly dedicated to settling into new home and getting used to new schedule.
This means 2 things. First, I most likely won't be able to draw as much as I used to. That's bad.
On the other hand, I will be able to FINALLY buy myself a graphic tablet!!!! Which will make drawing process faster at least 2 times. (Seriously, drawing with mouse is killing me)...

So, I will be back in few days with new page of Paladins and some other arts I've been drawing!
Thanks for your patience!
Sorry for being away this month!
Have a great day! :)
SO, I have almost finished page of Paladins Fancomic. And my PC crushed, reloaded and somehow damaged file. Now I can't restore it. Great. My PC officially showed me middle finger today...
My life has been veeeeery funny during last two months. (This is gonna be a loooooog story - don't say I didn't warn you Wink/Razz )
First, in case you've been carefully reading my previous juornals, you most likely know that I have 2 friends. So the three of us usually hang out. And now the spring has come and... and some problems. One of my friends is pretty stressed out. There are some reasons, I can hear him out, but two months is a bit too much for me! I've been in horrible situations and I was pretty depressed then. And I got myself together in less than 1 week. Even though I wasn't able to eat, sleep or properly walk because of stress. Nevertheless, ok. I thought I can rely on my other friend... But hell I was wrong! He's been getting drunk from time to time during these 2 months and then he starts whining about not having a girlfriend... UGH... It's ok for first two-three times... But NOT SEVENTH TIME! Plus, I can't understand him. I'm not too much into relationships...
Second, my studies were getting the best of me. I was really nervous and ready to kick anyone who dares come close. I tend not to communicate with people during such times. Btw, I'm not done yet, but it's getting better. I just have to write Investments, Innovation Development Management, Modern Economic Systems and Human Resourses Management tests. That's all. Oh, and finish my research!
Third, is more of good news to me... I'm learning the art of swordsfight! I have classes at weekends, 1 class = 2 hours. But I'll be using this knowledge in my Paladins Fancomic and some arts. :)
Fourth, I'm back to playing Paladins, so I have more inspiration right now! And less time...
Fifth, I had to take care of my dog, who somehow managed to pick up a mite. So I had to take care of that...

But now I'm back in range!
It's the middle of March and guess what I see when I look out of the window? Just a few days ago it was warm more or less and now... Well... Shit! NOT AGAIN!

SpringWTF by Seokthih

How's spring for you?
So, maybe I should tell you a thing or two about myself. I'm not going to write about my routine, chores, studies or job. Instead, I will tell some weird stuff.
Usually people tend to tell me that I have a lot of ideas and enthusiasm. Some people say, they wish they had so much enthusiasm about almost everything: from drawing to studies. But I wouldn't wish anyone  experience what is happening in my head...
Basically, it feels like there are many TVs around me, all are on different channels and have different volumes. They tend to switch off and on on their own. That's why I have an almost permanent (even though light) headache, I don't sleep well as I can't clear my head from thoughts and I am ready to work 24/7 just to mute those "TVs". As soon as my thoughts are turning on, I immediately leave what I have been doing and look for something new.
Moreover, muting doesn't always work. When I close my eyes, I usually can see some pictures, like in a dream, but without dreaming.
Nevertheless, I must say that it is a great thing during exams. I can keep in mind a lot of information due to at least one "TV" being on right channel.
So, why am I writing this? Because today I finally slept well. No thoughts. No pictures.
Ok, yesterday was Valentine's day and... well, my friend had a birthday, so we (3 of us) didn't care about other fests. Still, suddenly my friend said that Valentine's day is a nonsense... Come to think of it, if you love someone, you don't need a special day to give a present, celebrate or express your feelings, right? You do it whenever you want. On the other hand, those who don't have loved ones will feel sad, as this holiday is a reminder of their loneliness...
Your thoughts?
Joining Indra1408's contest! Details here: 
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P.S. I hope to get my drawing done be 14h :)
So where do I begin? So, first thing is that I have passed all my exams a bit more than a week ago. And now I'm on holidays for a veeeeeeery long period of time :) So I can sleep till 1 pm. And go to bed at 2 or 3 am. So yesterday, I went to sleep at 3 am and was woken up at 8 am by a call from my groupmate. I was surprised and too sleepy to realize the ''danger''... And then it was too late. She asked me to help her brother before his exam begins as he has a lot of questions about management strategies. Till 9 am I was explaining every goddamn thing about management and asked in the end what was he doing during the whole semester. "Nothing" was the answer.
I have learnt an important lesson. Now I have changed my phone number for the holidays and informed of that allpeople who might need it: my 2 friends, dean's office and my department at univ and parents, of course. Because, I need some time to REST! I AM A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A ROBOT! AND I NEED A HOLIDAY! A VEEEEERY LONG HOLIDAY! (Btw, they can always message me in social networks)
So, I've been pretty incative during past 2 weeks, but I'm having exams right now. I have a whole lot things to do and my first exam is Macroeconomic Theories. In case you're wondering about it, I have some pictures of my notes:

WP 20170930 17 58 34 Pro by SeokthihWP 20171221 19 45 16 Pro by Seokthih
If everything goes well - I have 4 exams, last one taking place on 4th January - I will upload a whole bunch of drawings and comic pages.
Thanks for reading this!

Btw, how're all of you? Having hard ending of this year (I hope not)? Or this one was pretty cool?
So, I think I'll post some useless facts about me, just because I want to write something, but I don't know what to write...
You are not obliged to read this crap, btw :)

1. I know 7 languages and consider 3 of them to be my mothertongue due to growing up in a multilingual family.
2. I can ride a horse, but I can't ride a bycicle.
3. I have developed drawing and writing skills and learned some ancient languages (such as Latin and Irish Gaelic) because I had no friends to hang out with for a very long time (16 years actually). 
4. I can't sing. Well, ok, I can sing Rammstein :)
5. I used to make myself a bow and climb trees when I was a kid and imagine I'm an elf from Lord of the Rings XD

Well, if you have read this, congratulations! Now you know 5 useless things about me!

:happybounce: :happybounce: :happybounce: :happybounce: :happybounce: :happybounce: :happybounce: 
Here are top 3 dialogues I have to recite every time I meet a new person (every effing time!):

1) - You're so slim, but muscular! What's your diet?
- I eat everything I want. I have fast metabolism.
- I don't believe you!
- Why the hell are you asking?!

2) - Dude, you have great marks at univ! How many hours per day do you study?
- I study for 30-40 minutes on my way to univ.
- I don't believe you!
- Why the hell are you asking?!

3) - Man, what music do you like?
- Metal.
- So... ehm... Are you occultist? Or maybe have a depression?
- WHAT?!
- What?

This infuriates me! Especially the last one! I think of myself as of pretty emotional, but nice and optimistic person! What is all that fuss with Metal?
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I tag MojoJump, Amypony36 and Astra-Phantom5654!
Plus, anyone, who wants is tagged!
Tagged by amazing Indra1408!
Let us begin! (WARNING: it's gonna be BOOORING!:D)

BIO
1) How old are you?
   I've lived through 3 Middle-earth ages, I've lost the count... Ok, I'm 20...
2) What gender and pronouns do you identify with?
   None, they (I'm one of many:))
3) Your name?
   No one asked for real one :) My friends call me Sauron or Annatar, I am also ok with Seokthih (Seo Kthih)
4) How social are you?
   40% online, 60% real life

ART
1) How long have you been on deviantART? (Old accounts included)
   1 year (give or take week or two)
2) What are your future plans for the site?
   Posting art, managing groups, pretty obvious... Oh, wait! That's boring isn't it? Let's have some fun!
   So, I want to gather my own army of artists and spam the world with our drawings!!!! Till they beg us to stop! Lol Lol Lol 
3) Do you want to pursue a career in art?
   It would be preferable to pursue a career in art-related field, but I don't mind e.g. economy.
4) On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your art skills?
   Traditional 8 (I'm pretty self-confident, yes), digital 5-6
5) Do you ever plan on leaving deviantART?
   No (where would I get an artist army :D (Big Grin) )
6) Who is your favorite visual artist?
   Rob Gonsalves
7) Do you use a tablet or a mouse?
   With digital art mouse, obviously it doesn't work with traditional arts
8) How long does it usually take you to complete your artwork?
   Depends on my inspiration, free time and level of fatigue. So it can take from 1 day to ETERNITY!!! Just joking, I don't have a whole eternity ahead!
9) How well do you handle criticism?
   Pretty well. 8 out of 10, putting it to numbers.

PERSONAL LIFE
1) Are you currently in a relationship?
   Do you really want to hear this? Do you think the Dark Lord Sauron would spend time on such stupid things? Obviously, yes...
2) Is your partner/spouse a deviant?
   No.
3) How long have you been together?
   That's a super secret info, even I'm not sure about it...

TAG EIGHT PEOPLE HERE!! NO EXCEPTIONS!
Horseygirle
TheCrownOfWinter
CorruptTempest
Fictionsbylex
Toa-From-Siberia
Harizonia
DEKAPANMAN
SeverelyNervousStar
MojoJump

PLUS, ANYONE WHO WANTS IS TAGGED!

This story shall be divided into 3 parts.

Original was an Orlov Trotter. He wasn't very tall, had dark chestnut, almost black coat and was "gaited". He didn't know how to canter and didn't know how to trot, only how to pace.  His owner was a cruel man, who had 4 or 5 horses and had only one set of riding equipment and even though some pieces were too small for Original, he didn't want to buy new ones. The bridle was so small, that when my trainer found this poor horse, his mouth was torn and permanently bleeding. He was used for dragging carriage ,though he hated this. He wanted to jump, he wanted to race, he was ready to do anything, but this.
My trainer bought him. This hurt, wounded, thin, but still proud and brave stallion. He was scared of wearing bridle first. He remembered how it used to hurt his mouth. That's why my trainer put it together right around his head. Every single day, for almost 4 months she dissembled the bridle and put it back together. And Original finally believed that no one was going to hurt him anymore. My trainer taught him how to trot and canter. She taught him to jump. She taught him to trust humans. And that he did. He was like a human himself. He knew what they expected him to do and knew why. He knew that trainer's little daughter was his best friend. He was as gentle with both children and adults as he could possibly be.
And trainer's daughter - a little girl - became his best friend. He never showed a sign of weakness to others, except for that little girl. Sometimes he was sad, sometimes he was moody. And that girl - Eugina - talked to him to cheer him up. And he replied in his own way - he neighed. And he thought of this as a normal thing - to neigh to humans. That scared many people first and every time my trainer explained that he just wants to talk. He learnt to ask for something by lifting up his right leg and swinging it. He thought that he must never hurt his rider and he should never be scared of anything. He was strong and brave - a horse who would fit a knight at a tournament, as there was nothing he feared: neither fire, nor water; neither wall, stone, tree, or living.

I decided that 1 story per week is not so much, considering how much I can tell :)


When I was 13, I went in for horse-riding. I loved horses and was very happy to find myself at the stables. After a year of training with almost no result (except gaining ability to mount and trot, but with training lead, so I did not control the horse, but my trainer did) I was assigned to other horse. He was named Gladiator.
He was afraid of almost everything, well, at least he seemed to be. On the other hand, he had character. He did whatever he wanted to do and a rider had to prove themselves as a strong, yet calm, person. Gladiator hated nervous riders. Gladiator hated being hit. Gladiator hated jumping and cantering. He wanted to live a calm life when no one would bother him. I saw some guys trying to make him jump and he made them fall. Only two people could ride him - my trainer (whom he feared) and one woman (who was a bit ill, so he was compassionate). But everyone told me he's the horse no one really wants to ride. Too many riders could not persuade him to obey them... He just turned around and went for the stables.
I chose the most unlikely (at least for my trainer) tactic to get in ouch with him. I didn't hit him when he did something wrong. Instead I guided him into doing what I needed. I fed him an apple every time before and after riding. I talked to him a lot, especially when he was afraid. And in time - almost 2 months passed - we got in perfect touch. I didn't need to do almost anything. He knew what I wanted to do. And I always knew when he would be scared, while he wasn't scared of everything when I was riding him. And then there was time to canter and jump. He never objected. He never stopped instead of jumping.
Once there was a girl - Gladiator's owner's daughter - riding him. And then I came. Gladiator rushed towards me across riding-hall, ignoring everything and everyone else. I doubt there was a creature who trusted me more than Gladiator. He knew I would never hurt him. And there was one special thing about him - he could smile. Really. And every time he saw me, he smiled. Even my trainer said that.
I fell a few times. Because of my foolishness, as even if I was exhausted from previous time, I wanted to get more of myself. And every time he didn't run away. He stopped and stayed near me. I could see a question in his eyes: Why? What did I do wrong? I always patted him and mounted again. And we went for a walk in the field.
But he was pretty old. He was 18 when I started riding him. And soon he turned 21. A horse over 20 years is an old one. Pretty old one. They live till 25 if they are lucky. 22-23 usually. And Gladiator's owner decided that he was too old to do his job. She didn't do anything to him, but took him to countryside, where he was to live the life he wanted to live - with no worries, eating and drinking and wandering in the fields for whole day just to return to cozy stable in the evening. I doubt he's still alive - too many years have passed since we parted, but I'm happy that for last years of his life he did what he wanted to do and not what these humans wanted him to do.

Glad by Seokthih
Gladiator, anticipating getting an apple

When I was a kid (and that was a quite long time ago) I had a cat. His name was Viking. We shared one day for birthday. He was the nicest cat ever. He was a chatterbox and loved telling us something, even though I'm pretty sure he knew we didn't understad him. He was devoted to me like a dog and accompanied me almost everywhere. He was a healer, for every time someone in my family was ill he came and stayed by that person's side till they got better. He was playful like a little kitten even when he was 6 years old. He liked lying on a rug in a corridor. He loved fish and chicken. He was the kindest cat I ever knew and most likely will ever know.

He had 9 lives. He fell from heights and broke his legs a 2 or 3 times. He got lost in my town as a 1-month-old kitten when he sneaked away and after 2 days of roaming he came back (we've searched for him under every bush, btw). He got ill and was suffocating, so we urged to a vet and he was saved. He got mite, but we managed to cure him. He got wounds from fighting cats and we healed them.

One day, we let him out for a night, for he was restless and meowed, staring at a door. He never came back. He was almost 7 years old. We've searched the town and outskirts. And all in vain.

It's been long time. I still regard him as a part of family. Even though he's gone. I hope he's in his cat's paradise now and is happy. I'm pretty sure, he's watching over us as well. And I still have dreams where he's alive.

Love your pets. Never let anyone hurt them. For their love is selfless.

0033 by Seokthih
Viking lying on his favourite rug near an old armchair we placed there for him.
Rules: you get tagged, you write your name choosing a novel/story/play you've read/are reading/really want to read (if it's one of your favourite then it will be perfect) to every letter. After that tag at least 3 more people! That's all! But, please, mention whether you've finished reading it :)

Silmarillion (by J. R. R. Tolkien)
Eric (by T. Prachett)
Othello (by W. Shakespeare)
Kenilworth (by W. Scott)
Time Is The Simplest Thing (by C. Simak)
Headless Horseman (by T. M. Reid)
Ivanhoe (by W. Scott)
Happy Prince and Other Tales (by O. Wilde)
I've already read all of these
So, I tag...
TheCrownOfWinter 
fictionsbylex
Ephaistien
Astra-Phantom5654
PeteDamian

Plus, EVERYONE willing to participate are automaticly tagged!
So, one of the artists I watch expressed a very interesting thought... About people on DA. Something to think about...
How many people you watch or those who are watching you really care for your art, without expecting only faves and comments from you?
Maybe you want to find it out?