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About Literature / Hobbyist Official Beta Tester Stephanie22/Female/United States Groups :iconwriteroomies: WriteRoomies
Write until your fingers bleed.
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Deviant for 9 Years
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Statistics 235 Deviations 2,823 Comments 41,658 Pageviews

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Part of that Ward
Look at this cuff
Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my restraints are complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl
The girl who’s been… committed 
Look at these meds
Stashed under my bed
Will the mania ever end?
Lookin' around here you'd think
(Sure) she's a bit crazy
I've got anti-psychotics and sleep aids a plenty
I've got SSRIs galore
(You want personality?
I got twenty)
But who cares?
No big deal
I want more
I want to be where my people are
I want to see
want to see 'em screamin'
Walkin' around with that
(Whad'ya call 'em?) oh – nurse
Flippin' your lid you don't get too far
Jackets are needed for wigglin', freakin'
Strollin' along down a
(What's that word again?) hall
Where they can’t walk
Sir please don’t run
Oh dear Lord they miss the sun
So far from free
Wish I could be
Part of that ward
What would I give
If I could live
Far from stable people?
How much I’ll pay
Knocked out for a day
Cold on the slab?
I know they observ
:iconselahnox:SelahNox 3 1
Graduation Cap by SelahNox Graduation Cap :iconselahnox:SelahNox 3 5
My Sister's Keeper
            There’s a dent on the side of my car where my sister kicked it during one of her episodes. I was home for winter break, and we were sharing the car. I don’t remember what started the panic attack that brought her to rage, but I remember sitting in my car with my eyes closed. Listening as she stomped her feet on the ground and kicked the side of my car. There have been days when all of my strength has gone into calming her down. But I wouldn’t trade her for the world.
            My sister’s been through her fair share of trials since her first episodes in high school. I watched, from a distance at first, as she struggled through panic attacks and suicidal moments. Her senior year in high school and first year of college were particularly brutal. I remember hearing her screaming across the house while talked on the phone. I don’t remember h
:iconselahnox:SelahNox 2 8
A Secret
            The sky that day had the same mopey gray as the walls of Annie’s shabby apartment. Annie stared out of the window from the desk in her living room, sipping slowly on a cup of coffee, a pen held in her free hand.
            The hardest part was trying to decide what to write to her sister after five years with no contact. In truth, in hadn’t been Annie’s idea at all to send the letter. She’d been cleaning one several pictures in Sophia’s mansion of a home. Sophia was telling her some story about that day, the trouble her brother, Christopher, had gone through to hire to a photographer, only for his kids to throw tantrums the day the pictures were to be taken.
            “What about your sister, dear? Have you written to her lately?” Sophia had asked when she finished her story.
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"Did she want to be buried or cremated?" people would ask. 'Who should come to the funeral?' And no one would know. The people, whoever they were, would just look at each other's shoes or shoulders until the silence settled in and then someone would put on a pot of coffee, briskly and with a fair amount of clatter. Coffee goes great with sudden death. – Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

            "Four girls are dead. Four of our girls are dead: Kandis, Robyne, Dee, Donyell." I stood in the dorm lobby listening to the whispers students exchanged about the accident that happened two hours before.
            "Does anyone know which Robyne they're talking about?" I asked my friend Sam. There are a handful of girls with that name at Wesleyan. I'd sent a text message to everyone I knew, trying to make sure that my friends were okay. Someone still hadn’t replied
:iconselahnox:SelahNox 3 9
Miss Scarlet in the Study - FFM Day 15
            ‘Well, it certainly is a nice house,’ I tell myself as I walk down the hall, starting up the various paintings that line the walls, portraying each of the various nobles that had once owned the house. Mr. Boddy looked more jovial in his portrait than he ever had in life. He’d been a horrible bitter old man, even if he had had a fondness for parties.
            I remember hearing the news of his death. It was barely a week since I’d last been at the mansion when I received a note, telling me that he’d suffered a terrible fall, and died alone in the mansion. That was what the paper said at least, though I didn’t believe a word of it. For one, he couldn’t have been alone in the house, not with that damned maid skulking around. He hadn’t exactly left her empty handed either, considering that she was a beneficiary of his will.
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The Great Escape - FFM Day 7
            “Is he coming? Can he see us?” A whisper came from the laundry room of the apartment, where a stack of socks sat on top of the dryer. There was no one in the room, only the pile of socks, but still, the whisper continued.
            “Okay, on my signal!” Another whisper came, followed by more whispers. “Go!” The voiced cried, and without warning, half the socks fell off the dryer and landed on the floor.
            “Has everyone left their partners?” The whisper asked, now noticeably coming from a black sock that sat at the head of the pile. “Come on Jerry, we’ve talked about this,” he said to the only two matching socks that now sat on the floor.
            “Come on, I can’t leave him! We’ve been
:iconselahnox:SelahNox 2 5
Lucky Number 13 - FFM Day 6
            “Oh God,” Sandra groaned, staring down at the pieces of mirror that littered her wooden floor. She bent down and picked up a big one, letting out a gasp when her finger ran over the sharp. “That’s the third time this week, oh mama is going to kill me.” She groaned as she began cleaning up glass shards.
            “Sandra?” Her mom called from downstairs. “What’s going on up there?”
            “Nothing, mom.” She yelled back, hurrying to the throw the shards of broken mirror in the trash before her mom came to investigate. “I just dropped something.”
            “I sure hope it wasn’t a mirror,” her mom, a chilling edge in her voice. “You know what day it is, Sandra.”
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The Misfortune Cookie - FFM Day 5
            ‘Your fall will come one week from today.’
            Tony had memorized those words since seeing them on the fortune cookie the week before. He’d called out of work just in case. Now he sat at the kitchen table, staring down at the daunting fortune.
            “You know what world, if you’re going to kill me, you might as well go for it!” He announced to the sky, challenging the universe. The universe responded with a drunk driver barreling through his living room.
:iconselahnox:SelahNox 1 2
Our Time - FFM Day 4
            Do you remember that first day? I do. There was a welcoming bonfire in the field between the freshmen dorms. I sat on one of the benches, staring into the fire, watching as the flames danced in the slight fall wind. Your roommate introduced us.
            We talked for a while, the awkward small talk of freshmen who haven’t figured out how to mingle. It felt good though, to have a familiar face in the crowd of strangers. That night, while we watched the flames, and ate s’mores, I would have thanked your roommate if I knew how close we’d be.
            “How have you never flown a kite before?” You asked as we ran through the field behind your house. I’m holding the string in one hand as I run through the field, hoping the kite will fi
:iconselahnox:SelahNox 1 2
Don't Die Over Spoiled Milk - FFM Day 3
                “We need more milk,” Carmen called from the kitchen. “Add that to the grocery list!” There was no reply, only a soft thump from the bathroom. Carmen rolled her eyes and walked down the hall. “Mom, if you’re shooting up can you at least do it somewhere else? I hate finding you passed out in the bath tub.”
            She turned into the bathroom and stared at her mom, who laid still on the floor, a long red line leaking on her neck.
            “Took him long enough,” Carmen sighed. “Who’s going to buy more milk?” she muttered as her only grievance.
:iconselahnox:SelahNox 0 5
On the Road - FFM Day 2
            The psychedelic swirls lingered in the air long after they’d finished smoking. The old camper they slept it was filled with thick clouds, the musk of marijuana mingling with the stench of cigarettes. Chelsea stared through the fog at the opposite window, watching the lone street light flicker on and off, occasionally emitting a ghostly dim light down on the parking lot. Tonight, they were parked in shopping center parking lot. They’d settled there longer after the mall cops had done their last round, and would be moving on to a new parking spot at sun up the next morning.
            Chelsea had been living like a nomad for the past several weeks, hitchhiking her way through city after city, still not entirely sure what she was looking for it. She’d spent the first several weeks sneaking on to freight trains, staring out at towns and dark forests, wondering how long it had
:iconselahnox:SelahNox 1 5
A Drink for the Mourners - FFM Day 1
            She was as pulchritudinous in death, as she was in life. Her long dark hair out of its usual bun, and instead arranged around her, the dark waves adding to the morbid beauty. Her eyes were gently closed, and lightly painted white, with soft sparkles, her thin mouth colored a light shade of red.
            The scene was exactly as she’d have liked it. The visitation was an intimate gathering of family members, and selected acquaintances. The casket was placed in a small room with white walls, and a sea of red carpet. Two bouquets of lilies sat on either side of the casket, on tall silver pedestals. There was plenty of seating, as she had requested when she’d made her funeral arrangements. The mortician she had specially hired had fulfilled every request she’d made, including the last, and most important: everyone was dead.
:iconselahnox:SelahNox 7 25
Inmate 217
            “Carolyn Tyler, inmate 217.” I stare out at the watching audience, searching for any faces that I recognize. Only two of my family came, and I know neither of them is happy to see me, not after what I did. Or what they think I did. Gwyn Rogers, the mother of one of my supposed victims, sits in the front row, the warmth gone from her once friendly face. Next to her, my brother’s eyes bore into mine, his face blank as always. My sister won’t even look at me.
            “Ms. Tyler, you are charged with murder in the first degree. Your sentence, as given to you on the fourth of October in 2004, is death by hanging. Do you understand these charges as they have been read to you?” A prison guard stands in front me, a clipboard in her hand, going through the standard script for execution.
:iconselahnox:SelahNox 5 3
A Stream in the Desert
            Gretchen was a worrier. She always felt it, as if it would suffocate her. She worried about money, the future, and everything else. Especially, she worried about Lily.
            “I’m a horrible mother,” she thought as she stared out at the yard in the trailer park, where her only daughter played alone. Lily had grown up without toys and play things, but she still somehow found ways to amuse herself, and Gretchen wished she didn’t have to.
            “Mommy! Watch me!” Lily called before standing on tip-toe and throwing herself into a cartwheel.
            “Good job, Lily!” Gretchen smiled as Lily jumped up and down and grinned back.
            Lily was the only part of Gretchen’s life that hadn’t failed. Lily
:iconselahnox:SelahNox 3 0
            She doesn’t look up when she hears the squeak of the front door. She stares down at the frying pan, standing as still as possible, as if trying to gage her husband’s mood without seeing him. He’d come home angry a lot over the past several days. And when he wasn’t angry the minute he came home, it didn’t take much to set him off. Every day he’d come at precisely six o’clock. The shouting usually started around half an hour later.
            “You’re home early,” she calls, chancing a look at the clock before he enters the kitchen. “I made your favorite,” she mutters as his work shoes pound against the tile floor. She’d just cleaned that floor. She’d spent an hour on her hands and knees scrubbing until it shined, as if he would no
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Christian Disclaimor!

All this good inspiration and artwork and whatnot on my page come from my Savior and God and the talent he gave me!

I wish to give God the credit for the thank yous and praise I get!


Oct 16, 2018
1:02 am
Oct 8, 2018
10:05 pm
Oct 6, 2018
12:37 pm
Oct 5, 2018
11:34 am
Oct 2, 2018
1:14 pm



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SelahNox's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Stephanie or Selah
She, Her, Hers

I am a graduate/seminary student from small town, USA. I recently graduated with my Bachelor of Arts in Religious Studies (with a minor in Psychology!) and I'm back in school for my Master of Divinity. I’m studying to become either a pastor or a chaplain, but not sure which. I have a passion for ministry, social justice, and mental health advocacy (I have bipolar II, and do not care who knows). I’m quite religious, but not the judgey kind, I promise.

I’m more of a writer than an artist, as one could probably tell from looking at my profile. I enjoy writing flash fictions and short stories, though I have attempted larger projects. I enjoy writing creative non-fiction, as well realistic fiction.

When I’m not writing, I’m probably playing Assassin’s Creed (II, Brotherhood, and Black Flag are my personal favorites!) or Skyrim. I love video games, music, hanging out with friends, and all that jazz. I’m a huge fan of showtunes, my favorites being The Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserable, Chicago, and CATS.

I can usually be found lurking in the #WriteRoom on dAmn, but I also have a personal chat: #LeOperaHouse.

I love making new friends! Feel free to stop by my chat and say hello.

Bisexual by Inkiedo Bipolar Disorder Awarness by KittyGreenEyes United Methodist Stamp. by BritanniaLoyalist

And all that jazz

Journal Entry: Tue May 1, 2018, 1:37 PM
I am officially a college graduate!

I graduated this past Saturday morning, with a Bachelor's Degree in Religious Studies, and a minor in Psychology! (And a 3.2 GPA!)

This summer, starting in 26 days, I will be serving as a pastoral intern, through a Pre-Enrollment program at the Divinity School I'll be attending in August. 

I'd like to say that I'll have more time to be more active on deviantART, but I'm not sure about that. With grad school, starting in the fall, my time will likely be more limited than ever. I may be able to be active this summer, even with my summer employment, but we'll have to see.

For your amusement, a picture of me with my graduation cap:

Image may contain: Stephanie Garrett, smiling

"Best of all is God is with us." - John Wesley

I think I might change my username! The options are... 

13 deviants said SelahNox
6 deviants said Don't bother
No deviants said SGNox



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Teague-Drydan Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2018  Student Writer
Happy Birthday!!! I hope you have a blessed & fantabulous day!!
JJJMadness Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
 Scalpel (Left)Tini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeTini Vintage Syringe
       bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces Eyeball  bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces
       bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesTini Cleaver (Right)  Tini Preserved Heart Moving Eye Ball Cup Cake 50x50 icon  Broken Heart  Moving Eye Ball Cup Cake 50x50 icon  Tini Preserved Heart Tini Cleaver (Left)bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces
       bunch of smiley facesPill AvatarMoving Eyeballs Cake Type 2 50x50 icon Virtual Retro LED - HVirtual Retro LED - AVirtual Retro LED - PVirtual Retro LED - PVirtual Retro LED - Y Moving Eyeballs Cake Type 2 50x50 iconPopsiclebunch of smiley faces
  GHOST HEART Moving Eyeballs Cake 50x50 iconVirtual Retro LED - BVirtual Retro LED - IVirtual Retro LED - RVirtual Retro LED - TVirtual Retro LED - HVirtual Retro LED - DVirtual Retro LED - AVirtual Retro LED - YMoving Eyeballs Cake 50x50 icon GHOST HEART 
Tini Vintage Syringe leftTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeScalpel (Right)
Camaro--Princess Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
  Happy Birthday! Party I hope this day is radiant with joy, and enjoyed with the best companies.
           I wish that your whole life is wonderful and infinitely happy. Enjoy your day! 
                                                        Refreshing Cake with candles 50x50 icon by RiverKpocc  fella Gift (Party) by Ehsartem 

                                                      By Camaro--Princess
atlantifique Featured By Owner May 10, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Wish I could give another llama! You're just that awesome! :D
(1 Reply)
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2017
Happy birthday! :D
(1 Reply)
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