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Here I am... wandering around the world. No, I'm not a world traveler, I'm homeless. Why? Because my father is an abusive alcoholic cross-dresser, and my mother is an abusive prostitute. You could say I don't like my home life, but that would only be a sliver of the pie. I am a ninja and a very good one at that. I made Chunin level when I was 7, skipped Jounin and made it to the Anbu when I was 10. So yeah. My parents always yelled at me for being a ninja. They told me it was a waste of time. The reason I wanted to be a ninja was because of a village near the one I lived in was attacked by a group of rogue ninja and the poor village had no...

THE ART THIEF MANUAL During my career as the „Perverted Art Thief Hunter” I have encountered various plagiarists. I don’t consider myself to be an uber N00B killer (Hell, it takes more than just one person to get the scum banned! So, teamwork, teamwork, teamwork!), but I’m no newbie. And I’d like to share my experience with you. Why? Some of you may find this essay simply amusing. Some may want to use it as a tutorial. Or just to compare my stories with their own. But let’s not focus on the introduction, and cut to the chase, shall we? TYPICAL ART THIEF LINES (and what do I think about them) “You’re just jealous!” Yes, I am… Of the origina...

Allistor was angry, but he couldn't do anything about it. _, his crush/ friend was with the wrong guy. He was an idiot, and his name was Al. He even wore things that she didn't like, baggy jeans that went down to his knees, swag and yolo shirts, everything a douchebag is.And, he would yell at _ for the stupidest of things when Allistor wasn't around. He saw how miserable she would look after him yelling, it made her cry if someone yelled at her that's why she never gets in trouble.He loved her, he would treat her right. He already does, comforting her the best he can when she comes randomly to his house. He could write a book about her, ev...

~one week later!~Your brother didn't talk to you the whole ride to school. He was still kind of disappointed in you for this but you obviously either didn't notice or didn't care that much. When you pulled up to the school, you fixed the hat on your head and smiled. "We here sis""While we're at school, I'm your older brother, alright?", you corrected him.He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Lets just go. We most likely won't have to talk to each other at school anyway""Yeah since I'm older and gonna be way cooler than you", you boasted as you exited the car."You wish you were!""Peace out bro!", you ran off inside the school. As you were snickeri...

Essentials of a Short Story ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quotes raped from a critique of Nathanial Hawthorn's Twice Told Tales by Edgar Allen Poe - 1837 Edgar Allen Poe, celebrated as one of the finest short fiction writers of all time, was also a literary critic. These are bits of his wisdom on writing short stories, gleaned from one of his critiques. "The true critic will but demand that that the (story's) design intended be accomplished, to the fullest extent, by the means most advantageously applicable…" -- Poe Poe's Prerequisites -- in a Nutshell: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To deliver fullest satisfaction, a short story should be structured: 1) To be read...

The war with the titans came to an end, with humanity victorious. Though with the many lives of comrades and family lost to these abominations, there was nothing to rejoice about. That is, for the soldiers who actually fought. The interior had decided to invite all soldiers to the castle for a military ball in celebration for the victory.Reluctant, the Survey Corps accepted the invitation, making it an optional event... For the cadets.And now..."I fucking hate the Military Police," Levi complained on the carriage ride to the castle. "Petty assholes." Commander Erwin sighed at his sassy companion and murmured, "You know that some of them ac...

You weren't one to flaunt your birthday, in fact rarely did you ever. It wasn't necessary, in your eyes. All you really needed was maybe a well-wishes from a single person, in this case, your husband. Though he didn't always say it out loud, there was usually a carefully written card waiting for you on your desk, or perhaps on your bedside when you woke up. Of course he was always gone before you saw them; part of you thought it was because he was so shy, the other because he enjoyed leaving you the little surprises. He never admitted to either of those, but you didn't mind. It was just nice to know he cared enough to say something to you....

It was a sunny day in London and you were taking a stroll through the town with your maid Kathryn. You both walked silently through the streets, as you played with your hair in boredom.  You sighed, and stopped on the path to look at your maid.  "Kathryn, do we have anything planned today?" You asked with annoyance in your voice.She smiled lightly at you annoyed facial features, before replying. "We're heading somewhere right now actually. You're suppose to meet your Uncle at the local Cafe in about an Hour. Something about planning you Father's Funeral plans.""Ugh, how boring. I care about my Father, but why does my uncle have to be the o...

~Chapter Six: I Think You're Okay~"Wait, this squiggly... it is an 'n', right? I keep getting it mixed up.""'M's have two bumps. You're right, that's an 'n'.""Oh. Okay."You scribbled down the next letter furiously, tongue peeking out from between your teeth in concentration. You leaned back once you finished and observed your work, laying your pen down on the wood beside it. "There. 'Titan'."Marco grinned at you happily. "Excellent! I didn't even need to correct you this time! You're really getting the hang of it."You smiled back shyly. "I am. Thank you again, Marco."You and Marco had been practicing your reading together for several mon...

Several days later Tick. Tick. Tick . The sound of water dripping down on metal echoed through the large warehouse. The smell of burned paper filled the air while in the distance hasty footsteps sounded off the walls. You smiled, pushing yourself from the chair in the control room. The Captain was on his way, but he would find nothing. You had burned and deleted all files, frying the hard drives so not even Stark himself could recover any data.     It had been several days since your ‘date’ with the super soldier. Your boss had approved of your improvised action to save the mission and had complimented you on your resourcefulness. He had e...

        Silence reigned as Hoody stood inside the abandoned church, leaning against the artificial wall on the side of the altar used to hide the door leading to the small neighboring chapel. His eyes were closed, fingering a thick marker in his pocket.        Knock, knock.         His eyes popped open at the sound of knuckles rapping on a plaster wall two times. Soft footsteps padded out of the room, and only when he heard the creak of the chamber’s giant doors swinging shut did he finally depart his hiding spot. Dust covered nearly everything in the chamber, from the pews to the table on the altar. He headed straight for the pews on the...

Your eyes open with blurred sight. Your head hurts for a second but it fades away. The rooms seems different from the last time you saw it. It seems... bigger! Much much bigger. When the matter shrinking device shot at you, you shrunk a lot. Her dresser and bed are as big as skyscrapers. Luckily your clothes shrunk as well as your bag of notes so you have something going for you. The matter shrinking device stands gigantic above you near Mary's bed, yet the distance between the bed and you seems so far at your tiny stature. But you have to do something before Mary gets back. You start moving towards the machine. ... After lots of walking a...