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the technique that i tried did not work out because it is confusing. so the only technique that i can use is to draw every pixel or to draw horizontal lines. i must spend more time on my art or else it will look bad. okay.

i tried  a short cut and it failed me. i must work on a piece and take as much time as needed. i love you and i hope that you forever have good luck.
  • Listening to: CBC Radio 1
  • Reading: Chuck Close Life
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Chuck Close
Work075-2 by seanhowell88

ARA BruceLee 02k 6x by seanhowell88

Martin Schoeller…
article-2439418-1829E25A00000578-622 634x806 by seanhowell88

Sean Howell…
Keys 1 By Sean Howell by seanhowell88
  • Listening to: Paul Simon
  • Reading: Chuck Close Life
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We are not alone when we suffer. God made both good days and bad days. The human conditon sees it that we all will be sick and we will all pass away. My mom died from cancer last year and I am sick. This is the human condition. We are vulnerable, We will be sick. We have each other. We can still experience joy and happiness. We are not alone in the pain or laughter.
  • Listening to: Jann Arden
  • Reading: Chuck Close Life
  • Watching: Tough Jamaican girl rides it like a champ
  • Playing: RoBlox
  • Eating: Cookies
  • Drinking: Water
The vexel style is not working out or I may need to do some color mixing. Even if I do the color mixing then it world still take less time than the pixel photo editing. But I hope to do at least one per week. Dear sweet lord Jesus above save my soul so that i may draw in your bountiful grace of love. :) :) Seacrest out
  • Listening to: Great Big World - We Hold Each Other
  • Reading: Chuck Close Life
  • Watching: Dark-Skin Girl with Big Boobs Uncontrollable
  • Playing: iPhone SE
  • Eating: Rice and Fowl
  • Drinking: Orange Crush
grind it out and push through

i called a friend to express how i am having difficulty while trying to make my art. i am on antipsychotics that make me not care about lots of things that i know that i love. so the drugs make it difficult to draw and paint.

my friend told me that i must grind it out and push through. so i must try to be tougher in my determination. but things will become better for me. i have new thoughts everyday and i know that i will be better at art in a few years.

i like to see beauty. i like to draw beauty. i like to paint beauty. i must find more things to fall in love with in this great universe. i hate drugs but i will reach through this time of trouble.
  • Listening to: Louis Farrakhan
  • Reading: Chuck Close Life
  • Watching: Thick Big Boob PYT
  • Playing: nhl2009.exe
  • Eating: Rice
  • Drinking: Pepsi
i can not think well right now. i want to draw and paint portraits. i will draw and paint in photoshop. i will draw on paper. i will paint on small and large canvases. i hope that i have a long life to fool around with my art.

i want to reach hyperrealism but i see that hyperrealist art is not always the best image. i see great techniques in hyperrealist art but i see that the aesthetic taste is not always the best. too many artists try to make poor quality images into a hyperrealist image. so i can still make good images even though the images are not hyperrealistic.

yesterday i called a busy friend and i spoke to him quickly for seven minutes. he told that i should just start my art and see where it goes. he told me to cross bridges when i reach them. we both agreed that i have mental constipation and that i need to achieve mental regularity.

i become confused often and i forget that i can make lots of different art styles. i will be over all my foolish thoughts in less thsn two years and then i will be making art everyday. last year was shocking but the future is fine. i hope for a long life and i hope for good images. i have faith in my art.
  • Listening to: When Im with You by Sheriff
  • Reading: Chuck Close Life
  • Watching: Big Boob Blonde MILFs
  • Playing: nhl2009.exe
  • Eating: Rice
  • Drinking: Pepsi
love what you love. love who you love. screw up in life. keep wasting time if you enjoy wasting time. keep loving life. wake up and be grateful. you are given life to do what you want with it. amen. stay in love. relax. love life. be fine. draw and relax. eat. no worries.i have a home and food. internet to fool around on. why worry. i am not at the worst position in life. i am not at the best position. but i have. hope for more life and more good things. keep on keeping in love with this.
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  • Playing: codbo3
  • Eating: pasta
  • Drinking: Water
i want to draw. i want a long life. i want to draw everyday. i want to draw everyday.

i have first world problems. i have food and a home. i have no right to complain. my life is better than a lot of the humans that have ever existed.

i need to keep drawing. art has treated me well. i want to stay home and draw.

i need to spend more time on my art.

relax. be fine. love life.
  • Listening to: crazy youtubers
  • Reading: news
  • Watching: seinfeld
  • Playing: nhl 2009
  • Eating: Cookies
  • Drinking: Water
someone told me that a man is the most powerful thing in this universe. men are wise but the universe is trickier.

i read a book that said that each human body has two dollars worth of precious materials in it. but one knows that one is worth more than two dollars.

if life was a thing that money could buy then the poor would not live and the rich would not die.

death has no manners. death does what it wants to. we are born on earth and we do not stop crying until we die.

men want to live on mars but men do not know how to live together on earth.

there was a girl that did not want kids. so her friend told her that her child could be hitler or her child could cure cancer. everything that ever happens only happens in this life. so choose life.

when you are a slave then the options in your life are collaboration or resistance. if one resists then they and their offspring are gone. but if a slave collaborates with the master then the slave has life and hope. if there is life then there is hope. any life is better than no life. a live dog is better than a dead lion. always choose life so that you and yours may live.

i have experienced having a losing hand and fnding a way to win. also theree are cases of having a winning hand and finding a way to lose. think of celebrity suicides.

as long as you do not want to die then you have a grasp on this world. circumstances can  change. the world is becoming better. i was born in a house with no running water or plumping. when i used a toilet for the first time then i fell in love. i did not know what a toilet was but when i used one then i felt nice.

my circumstance at this moment is a funny one. but consider the all jokes in my story. humans are dust. we will be here for a while and then we will be gone. so enjoy whatever you can enjoy in life. do not worry about rubbish in life. one should find things in life to love and then go crazy. but the lack of discipline or sanity will catch up with one.

eat drink and be happy because one day you will be dead. love who you love. love what you love.

what is man but a rising ape that likes to through crap. we are not fallen angels because humans are becoming better. i hope that the world can work through its troubles. i hope that i can work through my troubles. keep drawing. just draw what you care about.

hope is the best thing in life. hope can save lives. not everybody experiences enough love but hope can fill the fill in the spaces that lack love.

one must walk in faith nowadays. i do not mean that they are all churchy. but one will walk in darkness where one cannot see anything and one has no control. but wake up everyday and do what you love. everyone deserves happiness. everybody deserves a bit of joy. people on the internet appear happier than they actually are.

be happy. have faith. take courage. hold onto hope. fall in love with more permutations from this universe.

what is a man.
  • Listening to: Bruce Cockburn
  • Reading: Receipts
  • Watching: lightskin mulatta shows her man how she rides
  • Playing: Zelda
  • Eating: Cookies
  • Drinking: Water
Sean never forget who you are.
  • Listening to: CBC Radio
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  • Watching: SSBBW pooping on a bun
  • Playing: NHL Blades of Steel
  • Eating: Cookies
  • Drinking: Poop
I suck at age 30. Imagine me at age 35 or 40. I thought that I could hve a long life but it turns out that I will die very young. That is life.

I am a failure. Do not not do what I have done. Listen to Bill Gates. Why did I not read the books by Bill Gates.

You will try. You will fail. Itll all work out in the end. You will die. Go to Hell. Itll all work out in the end.

Give him life for what he did and give him death for what he probably did.
  • Listening to: CBC Radio
  • Reading: News
  • Watching: SSBBW Squirting on Sliced Bread
  • Playing: NHL Blades of Steel
  • Eating: Hot Beef
  • Drinking: Poop
dont kill people.
love who you love.
do not humiliate people.
love life.
be fine.
be good.
  • Listening to: Crazy Black Identity Extremists
  • Reading: Chuck Close: Life
  • Watching: SSBBW Mulatta Bubblegum Punny Sweetness
  • Playing: NHL Blades of Steel
  • Eating: Cookies
  • Drinking: Cranberry Juice
princes will crawl and beggars will be on horse back.
  • Listening to: Coldplay
  • Reading: Chuck Close: Life
  • Watching: Pinky SSBBW Mulatta Christian Sweetheart
  • Playing: NHL Blades of Steel
  • Eating: Pasta
  • Drinking: Water
the bible study of my life

be fruitful and multiply means to make babies and make stuff. eat drink and be happy means to become fat. love one another means to stop hating.

god wants me to make babies, make stuff, be fat and stop hating. i am fat and i make stuff but i also need to stop hating and make babies.
  • Listening to: Nesta Marley
  • Reading: Chuck Close: Life
  • Watching: Pinky SSBBW Mulatta Christian Sweetheart
  • Playing: NHL blades of steal
  • Eating: Pineapple and olives pizza
  • Drinking: ginger ale
Good art requires curiosity and persistence. You have to fall more in love with your art.

A dog does not know that Jupiter exists.

Art is ninety percent preparation and ten percent perspiration.

Control yourself or else you will accomplish nothing in life.

Listen to no one that says this or that about the beginning or the end because no one was there in the beginning and no one will be there in the end.

Bring some grass to bed with you to feed your nightmares.

He who dies first gets more rest.

If you worry then you will die. If you do not worry then you will die. So why worry and die faster.

Why worry and die in a hurry.

Eat, drink and be happy.

Keep shopping and be happy.

Don't worry be happy.

Lost Wages, Nevada.
  • Listening to: Crash Test Dummies - Mmm Mmm Mmm
  • Reading: Chuck Close: Life
  • Watching: SSBBW Mulatta Christian Sweetheart
  • Playing: FL Studio 11.1.1
  • Eating: Pesto pizza
  • Drinking: Cold water
I almost have all of the supplies that I need to begin my acrylic painting.

I need to paint people that I care about ad recognize because I will not like the painting if I paint someone that I cannot recognize. So it is a small list of recognizable people that I can paint.

I am using Liquitex acrylics. The 5 colors that I will be using are red ochre, yellow ochre, ultramarine blue green shade, carbon black and titanium white. I remember that most skin tones can be mixed from this combination. The blue adds some realistic atmosphere to the skin tones.

I will paint on canvas paper with a gridded sketch drawn onto it. I will trace and print portraits onto paper then use the grid method to transfer the image from printer paper to canvas paper.

After I paint during a couple or a few sittings then I will scan the paintings and further edit them in Photoshop.

I hope to have some nice images that I can print onto my tshirts and maybe I will sell some of my designs onto tshirts in my online store.

self portrait by seanhowell88
  babes by seanhowell88
  • Listening to: Lil Uzi Vert - Loaded
  • Reading: Chuck Close: Life
  • Watching: Tanned SSBBW mulatta
  • Playing: Mario Kart
  • Eating: Crackers and cheese
  • Drinking: Fruit Punch

Right Now

Sean Howell
March 25 2018

I want to read more but I can not right now. I want to draw more but I can not right now. My motivation will improve as I experience more inspiration. Thank God for the good meaningful dreams. My dreams remind me of my spark. I do not know where my dreams come from but my dreams comfort me a lot. My dreams give me hope and help my faith. Amen to dreams and amen to life. Amen to the universe. Amen brothers and sisters.

  • Listening to: Heartbreak Kodak
  • Reading: Chuck Close: Life
  • Watching: Big MILF Mafia
  • Playing: Mario Kart
  • Eating: Corn Flakes
  • Drinking: Milk and sugar

On Time

by Sean Howell

Friday March 23, 2018

I remember that I had eight separate dreams during three hours of sleep. Time can seem to slow down or speed up depending on ones mood. 

I am grateful for a home and for food. No one can have a good life without a home or food. Some people in the world do not have homes and do not have enough food. Food and shelter has always been a blessing to whoever has them.

This year has stated off okay but I have not started to create art too much yet. I have been confused about how I want to spend my time and my efforts. But things in my mind sometimes become clear and it fels good to still experience lucidity.

I remember reading a text where a man saw a baby and he told the mother that the child will either be very good or very bad. That child has quite the destiny.

I will stop harassing people. I will relax and keep making art. I hope for a good few years of steady maturity.

Time is valuable and I do not even like to talk too much on the telephone right now like I used to. I want to make art until I die one day at an old age. I want to make decent art. But I want to learn some other stuff too so I must spend more time reading.

I hope for time. I am finding that I am often closing my eyes and saying the Our Father Prayer. Deliver us from evil. Let thy will be done. Amen,

Our Father

who is in Heaven

Holy is your name

Let Your kingdom come

Let your will be done

On Earth as it is in Heaven

Lead us not into temptation

But deliver us from evil

Give us this day our daily bread

And forgive us of our sins

As we forgive those that trespass against us

For yours is the kingdom

The power and the glory

Forever and ever


I do not want to waste time because time is a blessing.

  • Listening to: Oasis - Champagne Supernova
  • Reading: Chuck Close: Life
  • Watching: BBW riding
  • Playing: Mario Kart
  • Eating: Chicken and fries
  • Drinking: Milk and sugar
My digital portrait paintings suck. I worry that I have a lack of skill in digital portrait painting. I am sure that the reason that my digital paintings suck is because I am not using a graphic tablet. But then I remember that I am becoming better at pixel portrait drawing. The problem is that I am focusing on the wrong technique. There is more work involved with pixel portrait drawins but the work will become easier with time as my skills improve.

I am trying to paint without a graphic tablet so my paintings suck. Instead I should try to continue my pixel portrait drawings. I would feel better about my art if I continued to draw pixel portrait drawings. I am good at the pixel portraits even though they take a long time to finish. If i focused more on tmy pixel drawings then I would become better at pixel drawing and the drawings would look better. I will have better art if I focus on pixel portrait art. I would be happier if i had a smaller amount of portrait drawings instead of a bunch of poor quality portrait paintings. Also I can turn a good pixel drawing into a good painting if I paint over my drawings. I hope to become better at the pixel portrait drawings to a point where i can do one per day.

I have a bunch of bad art that I would trade for one piece of good pixel portrait art. So instead of trying to paint portraits without a tablet then I would be better drawing pixel portraits. I suck at painting especially if I have no graphic tablet.
  • Listening to: Lil Uzi Vert - Loaded
  • Reading: Chuck Close: Life
  • Watching: Lightskin redbone girl
  • Playing: NHL 2009
  • Eating: Pizza
  • Drinking: Ginger ale
i want to only draw females right now. i am falling in love with females. females are beautiful.
  • Listening to: Lil Uzi Vert - Loaded
  • Reading: Adobe Photoshop 7.0: Classroom in a Book
  • Watching: BBW satisfying
  • Playing: NBA Showtime: NBA on NBC
  • Eating: Oreos
  • Drinking: Apple juice