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Hey guys - as it turns out, I'M NOT DEAD :D I just haven't been drawing much lately, so I haven't been around too much.

But that aside.

Anyone remember me writing a book for like the last 10 years? Well that's been a thing - and now it's a PUBLISHED thing. Only as an eBook for now, but I'm going to look into print copies soon. The eBook is $2.99 CAD - and will be the same in other stores when it reaches them.

Check it out here or on the official website at to see when it gets released on more platforms.

I'm super excited to finally have this thing out to the world! If anyone picks it up, do let me know what you think. :)


Mon Oct 14, 2013, 5:21 PM
I will take a moment to allow the crowd of people off to the left who have been Pokemon fanatics since red and blue to say 'I told you so' because you probably don't even need to read what I'm about to say.


Now that that's done, I got the new Pokemon game and it's pretty fabulous. :) I skipped B&W2 after having one from every other generation, and until yesterday I thought I was done with the franchise - but having played a few hours and still not beaten the first gym (I am a perfectionist. Just don't ask.) I am impressed and glad I picked it up! The new features for training and playing with your Pokemon make the game much different from previous titles, and the 3D art style is reminiscent of the Tales games or Mabinogi, my online addiction. I'm having loads of fun!

That said I only have two people on my 3Ds friends list because I don't know why. xD So if anyone wants to add me, my number is 4081-6042-0808 and you'll have to share yours ;) 

Back to being the very best, like no one ever was~


Wed May 22, 2013, 1:11 AM
Or pre-grad if we want to be technical and acknowledge that the ceremony is Friday. 

I am now or nearly officially finished my arts edumacation! I really need to post more of my schoolwork on dA, suffice it to say I was very busy the last few months. Then I finished classes. Then I moved. Then I had technical problems. Now I'm getting the chance to scan some things again, so I will be sharing them soon. ;) 

It surprises me how there was no magical point in my education where I spontaneously learned to "art". I know it's a stupid thing to think about, but I guess a part of me expected that I'd walk out of that program knowing exactly what I was doing - but I don't, which in it's own way is kind of a good thing. It's my understanding now that in the arts one is never entirely confident about everything, they are simply capable and dedicated and willing to try. I still have a lot to learn, and that fancy bit of paper is just one step toward being a pokemon arts master. I know I can function in the industry and I'm reasonably good at what I do >3 so here's hoping I get to do it soon!

Still, it makes graduating a little bit anticlimactic. 

I'll just have to keep working until I get to see my name in the credits of something. >D 

I screwed up 24% of my school years

Thu Mar 21, 2013, 2:31 AM
[x] Gotten detention.
[] Gotten your phone taken away
[] Gotten in school suspension
[] Got sent to the principal's office.
[x] Chewed gum during class.

[] Gotten more than 8 tardies
[] Didn't do homework over 3 times.
[x] Turned at least 3 projects in late.
[] Missed school cause you felt like it.
[] talked too much and got kicked out of class

[] Got your mom/dad etc. to get you out of school.
[x] Text people during class.
[x] Passed notes.
[] Threw stuff across the room.
[] Laughed at the teacher

[] Pulled down the fire alarm.
[] MySpace, Facebook, etc. on the computer at school.
[] Took pictures during school hours.
[] Called someone during school hours.
[x] Listened to an iPod/CD player/Mp3 during class.

[] Threw something at the teacher.
[] Went outside the classroom without permission.
[] Broke the dress code.
[] Failed a class
[x] Ate food during class.

[] Gotten a call home
[] Couldn't go on a field trip cause you behaved badly
[] Didn't take your stuff to school
[] Gotten a detention and didn't go
[] Stuck your middle finger at a teacher.
[] Cursed during class loud enough so the teacher could hear.

[x] Slept in class.
[] Cursed at a teacher
[] Copied homework
[x] Felt hungry during class and left to eat
[] Got into so many fights.
Total= 8

Times your total by 3.

... Yah sorry guys xD I have the 'worst' score so far of anyone I watch. Wish I'd done half of this stuff. ;P


Thu Feb 28, 2013, 10:39 PM
So it feels like every five minutes online I end up mentioning I'm an animation student, which at first felt like bragging but which now seems like a kind of passport I have to wave in front of people to excuse the fact that everything I say has to be backed up by an explanation to clarify the context and/or industry jargon (the first time I have used that word since it came up in my business class. Putting that edumacation to good use.)

I'm sure a lot of you are aware, but animation education (and animation in general) is kinda brutal. When you have to lay down 120 drawings for five seconds of work, unless you're drawing a stick guy who lost his face in a tragic house fire at some point it's probably going to take a little while. Most of us don't care because we love the work (translation: we complain amongst ourselves and say that for whatever little truth it holds and more likely for the bragging rights) but in the midst of college when everyone else spends less than fifty hours a week in the classroom and has one of those curious things known as 'social lives' conversations with the outsiders become a bit strained.

I spend the majority of my time with the same group of 12 or so people - the potential graduating class of my program. We've spent three years studying the same thing and we spend the vast majority of our time working on it at the moment.

When I venture out of this little circle and try to share a bit of my life with people, it becomes quickly apparent that I have none. xD I have three times this week started into a story about an unexpected blunder, poor estimation, or technical problem that would be hilarious with the people I go to school with, only to realize that everyone else in the room is staring at me wondering what 'ones' are and what could possibly be funny about a tangent line.

Maybe it's only now, nearing the end of my education, that I realize most of what I've learned isn't common knowledge and that I have ventured further into the jungle of moving artwork than I thought I ever could - but it's odd to think that the culture I live with is suddenly so radically different from the same people I've been friends with and talking to on a weekly basis for years. Yay for drowning in your field of interest.

This is sort of a poll, but I hate those 'read first comment' deals and I wanted to explain where I'm coming from with it.

I don't upload a lot on dA - but I do draw A LOT. Being in animation, that's a given. It never really occurred to me how much of a discrepancy there is between my production and my uploads until we had to hand in a bulk project at the end of this semester consisting of our general sketchbooks from the school year. I had four mostly filled up, so yah... I draw a lot.

The issue is that I don't often get into 'super finished' drawings, by which I mean anything at or above this quality of line:
Sugar Rush Racer by Scyoni

I guess what I'm wondering is what anyone cares to see, since people on dA seem to have an obsession with only seeing illustrations that have been worked-over to the nines instead of whatever a person naturally produces. I'm completely capable of making full-on shaded CG pieces in photoshop - but because of time constraints I very rarely do. Consequently, giant log of pencil art, almost nothing uploaded.

If I clean up any of the aforementioned works at least to the point of that picture above, would anyone consider them worth sharing? I have a few people saying I need to upload more, so I'm not entirely sure how to approach that.

Second item on the agenda- Cafe drawing (or life drawing in general)

I hate to admit it, but I just don't do this. I have lifedrawing class, and then everything else I do is out of the imagination. It's horrible, and it's impractical, and it's probably my biggest failing as an artist, so I really need to start doing it. My issue is that for a number of awkward reasons that are probably excuses (is it sad that I'm not really sure?) I don't know how to go about it.

Hanging out in cafes is not something I now, or have ever, done. Or any public place, really. I go out, do whatever I'm doing, and go home - I'm not the sort of person to go out and spend the day in town for the sake of it. Time not spent doing something is wasted time in my opinion (and a few of you know how wired I can get about scheduling things sometimes - from what I gather this is an incredibly un-artisty trait) so trying to do a thing like that is odd for me.

I have no commute, no layover, no regular appointments, and I'm a full-time art student, so I have no commitments that I can really show up early for and draw, or any bus downtime that would be good for the same. Anytime I'm at school I'm working on projects, and I perpetually stress myself out over deadlines and feel like ANY activity unrelated to my schoolwork right now is a waste of time.

So all of that in mind, I'm aware of the following:
1. Being obsessive about my schoolwork is not helping anything.
2. I should probably stop being a hermit and go out for the sake of going out. (Except I kind of have nobody to go with... There's one of those self-causing problems.)
3. It's probably something I need to just DO instead of... milling around and wishing I had time to do.

Any thoughts? Ideas? Personal experience? For my few friends in the area, would anyone chill with me in a random public place and doodle a bit every week maybe?

'No Sketches'

Sat Nov 17, 2012, 12:11 PM
I see this rule on 2/3 of the groups on dA, and I'm a bit confused about what it means.

In most cases, it looks like it means no pencil drawings whatsoever - unless they're shaded to the point of looking like black and white photos.

What's wrong with 'finished' pencil works? A lot of what I've been able to upload to dA are cleaned up pencil drawings. They still seem a little rough, but it's the style of the thing - and CGing a picture takes me HOURS and seems like an entire other process that has nothing to do with my traditional linework.

I think this rule was meant to keep out 10 second pictures, but it's really difficult to tell. Hohum.

In the digital age with all of these artz around, what do you think constitutes a 'sketch' anymore?

There are anime movies and shows I enjoy, and I own a manga or two. I am very familiar with the usage of these two words, the origins of the 'styles', and the horrible stigma that follows them absolutely everywhere they go. I'm not an otaku, and I'm not an anime hater, but I absolutely hate the words 'anime' and 'manga'.


Because the way people use them, these two pictures are the exact same thing:

Carciphona - Duel by shilin
chibi miku by Crazy-megame

In fact, the way many, if not most, people use "manga" and "anime" style, both of those words (with no distinction between them) apply to all of the following:

-Actual Japanese Comics and/or Animated Film
-Any characters from any Japanese Comics and/or animated films / games
-Comics and/or film of similar style from elsewhere
-Anything resembling any Japanese based franchise, even if it has it's own unique set of style elements (Pokemon, Dragonball, Sailor Moon are all the same thing. Apparently.)
-"Chibi" style characters
-Anything with unrealistically large eyes
-Re-colors of cartoon screenshots
-Anything flat and not 3-dimensionally drawn
-Line art
-Cell shaded art
-Painted Art
-2D Animated work
-3D Animated work
-Comic strips
-Comic pages

I could go on, but I think it just gets into 'nit-picky' territory if I continue the list.

Naturally if you make something that broad, you're going to include a lot of newbies, a lot of fanart, a lot of wonderful stuff and a lot of junk. But the way people love to hate, all they end up seeing is the junk, and latching onto the garbage, and fueling the word with their unbridled and completely pointless hate.

Anime has a horrible reputation in the art community, at least in part, because the definition is so very broad. All it takes are similar proportions, a certain way of drawing hair, or the unfortunate choice to have sharp noses and suddenly everything you draw is characterized flat-out as 'anime', which is hard to sort out. I'm not denying that the majority of it - particularly the actual comics and TV shows themselves - look exactly the same. I'm just confused at how so much fits under the same umbrella.

It doesn't matter if there's any other visible influence, how three-dimensional the character is, whether it's moveable and has plasticity - It has one of those characteristics, so it must be ANIME! Following that logic, these pictures are all in the same exact style:

ASTRO BOY by Chadfuller Sailor Moon DRAW by LGhost DRAGON BALL KAMESENNIN by GODTAIL POKEMON :D by akirakirai :thumb144092086: Professor layton by tiny-mint Roy - Fire Emblem by Eko-chan   Case Closed by rui31415926 Basilica by shilin HATSUNE MIKU+COROLLA -PRINT AD by alvinlee   Link by nillia   Too Much Fun For Chrno by ellensama Adventures in Cosplay 1 by Linake Korra by DarkKenjie megaman by bayanghitam +VGCats+ Leo by KariNeko Avatar - Toph by GENZOMAN Tales of the Abyss by elisetrinh

Uhm... Right. Sure.

TL;DR: "Anime" and "Manga" are no longer valid words to describe a style. Let's come up with real adjectives.
By now everyone on the internet is aware that google, facebook, and any other company that's in the business of advertising is somehow trying to use what they know about you to sell you things. The topics you list as interests or subscribe to can become keywords for what kinds of ads will appear to you around the internet, and for this reason, we all need to protect ourselves! Get anti-trackers! Opt out! Do what you can!

But really? Why?

I can understand not wanting someone to read your e-mail- even if it's just a robot trying to pick up words. I can understand not wanting a tracking cookie to find out your credit card number. But beyond that, why don't you want Google to use your search data and subscriptions to serve you ads? Short of hiding everyone's unanimous and yet secret love of porn, there's really nothing wrong with the whole idea.

The ads are going to be there anyway, so it's not enabling them to show you more. It's just giving you the option to see an advertisement for a product or service you might actually like or be interested in, instead of something that you'll hate. So it sort of makes ads 'less' annoying because it's something you might actually want.

"But that means they're making me buy things!" you cry, "I don't want them to sell me things!"

... This argument also makes no sense to me. One, if you don't want people to sell you things, there's probably a shack on a mountain somewhere with your name on it- gods know there's nowhere else that you're going to accomplish that. Two, they aren't selling you things- you choose to buy things. Nobody can force you to buy that thing in that ad that you don't even have to look at on the computer. If you're weak willed, get an ad-blocker.

But yah. Really. Is it wrong to let them give you what you want? I've been wondering this forever, and all people ever tell me is "they're using your personal information! ;A;" ... Which is, the information you gave them- so why is this evil?
  • Listening to: Thunder and Rain
  • Reading: My Draft and Homestuck
I'm not sure how many of your have heard of the 'Slender,' but it's a videogame about the SlenderMan Mythos. You wander around a forest in the dark with nothing but a flashlight while Slenderman follows you, and your goal is to collect eight notes about him before he catches you. (Here's a video if want to see it…)

It's among the new types of horror, so the game doesn't give you any power at all. The frightening part of it is that the Slenderman is somewhere in the dark- but you have no idea precisely where.

Most people, from what I've seen in the let's play videos, respond to this situation by spinning in circles like paranoid schizophrenics trying to watch for him chasing them while they hunt down the notes. Consequently they get maybe 3-5 notes in a game, if even, and then freak the hell out xD

I've never had the proper response to this kind of horror game. I'm not interested in seeing an enemy I have no way to fight, and I know based on the mythos that he follows you and only appears behind you, teleporting. If you whirl around you're turning you back in all directions- and he could appear on any side of you, so that didn't make any sense to me as a tactic. So... I just kept going in a relatively straight line and never turned around. xD So I never saw him up until the moment he finally caught me- after I'd found seven notes, about six feet away from the last one.

I had the same kind of practical, analytical approach to Amnesia, the Dark Descent. I went through everything slowly, using as few tinderboxes as possible, and never taking any risks. When a monster came at me I would stare at the floor until I died, because from the perspective of the game being a game it was the most effective way to continue on without wasting time or cheating and looking away from the game, and without having to stare at the scary scary monsters. xD

Even in real life I'm not much for the frightening. I'm afraid of the unknown like any logical human being, so I'm uncomfortable in the dark- but I respond to that by rushing to the nearest light and turning it on, or else finding an enclosed space (a room), scoping it out until I'm absolutely sure there's NO WAY there's anything else inside of it, and holding down the fort. It's anything but theatrical.

So I think I'm just really bad at the whole 'being a character in a horror scenario' thing.

How do you approach horror? Do you scare easily?
  • Listening to: Thunder and Rain
  • Reading: My Draft and Homestuck


The last few days I've felt like doing something, and since my other frequented sites are dead in their entirety and dA is active everywhere that isn't my page I decided to rectify the situation. I mean I've had this particular account for a year years, and overall I've been on dA for... for... ... *checks old account* 6 years.  I guess I can actually contribute once in a while.

Anyway, the other thing is I've decided to embrace the idea that I CAN BE A FAN. I've never really given into fandom, at least not since the third grade when liking something was socially acceptable. I've also never legitimately submitted fanart to dA that I can remember, for the same judgement-fearing odd reason. So the recent Homestuck pics present a part of that.

The other thing I hadn't admitted to beforehand (at least to anyone who can't read my last journal and add two and two), I'm a big Mortal Instruments fan! Magnus is my favorite character and the main reason I read the books, and Clary annoys me half to death, but I like Jace and Sebastian (as a villain) and Simon and most of the other characters even if that's 'not cool'. I will probably be scanning or drawing some new fanart thereof too, now that I've actually drawn something unoriginal and broken that streak.

It's probably a really pointless thing to say, but for some reason I tend to be a social sheep and not admit when I actually like things if everyone else thinks they're stupid. For the record, Lolly, I still hated the gay-twilight-unwanted-whatever book. xD

And I'm going to do stuff before taking my cat to the vet. Today is going to be sooo fun.
  • Listening to: Thunder and Rain
  • Reading: My Draft and Homestuck
The issue of Hollywood Whitewashing has come up a few times in my newsfeed recently, and a lot of the responses to it have me a little concerned.

This journal entry is sort of a response to this:…

I would like to preface this response with a nice bolded line saying I DO NOT SUPPORT WHITEWASHING and if that isn't clear and you feel the need to rage on me, at least read to the end.

The post above is by Cassandra Clare, the author of the Mortal Instruments and Infernal Devices books. One of her books is currently in the process of being made into a movie. Naturally, many of the fans have invented their ideal lineups, and a lot of them are disappointed when they hear the actual castings - regardless of them being closer to the author's vision of the characters. In particular there's been a lot of arguing about one of the most popular characters being asian.

Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn (and certainly -my- favorite character) is being played by Godfrey Gao (this guy). when this was announced, there was a wave of people whining about Magnus being asian, and how he ought to be white, and how their imagined castings were better, and so on. This was, of course, pretty offensive to everyone who made the casting and probably to the author herself- considering it blatantly says in the books that Magnus is asian. She posted the above article to try and explain to everyone something which, as fans of the series, they probably should have known in the first place.

Many fans then went white-knight agreeing with Clare against whitewashing and started their own ranting about people always whitewashing everything and staying true to the source race and such.

Now, I'm sure a few million people out there will completely disagree with me, but I think the need to remain 'true' to the race of the character in question is related to the weight they put on their racial identity and background. Sometimes the race really wouldn't matter. That said, this is not the case.

Magnus, as a character, is arguably centred on his origins. He very rarely speaks in detail about where he's from, but the cryptic way he hints at his age, the few mentions he does make of his history, and the lack of details about his parentage given in the series add a backdrop to him as a character that makes him more interesting. He isn't just an extremely powerful magician with amazing eyes - he's someone, he comes from somewhere, and by simply knowing general world history and doing a bit of math on his age you can guess he's been through a lot to get where he is, living in the west. If they made Magnus white in the movie, it would invalidate this history and the facets of his character which, while not the focus of the story, are important to his part in it.

However, the race of a lot of characters in a lot of worlds isn't as significant to them. The instant you move into the future, into a youth demographic, or into an alternate reality (Including the Hunger Games) you need to recalculate the value of race to someone, and it's actual impact. I have not read the Hunger Games, and I'm not saying the issues surrounding Katniss' race are not legitimate- I'm using this for an example.

Take, for example, a story set in 2100. Culture changes very quickly nowadays, and it wouldn't be much to imagine that there would be no such thing as racism at the time. If this is the case in the story, and there's a character(let's call our theoretical character Josh) who's got no family ties. He's the orphan hero and a blatant cliche, yes, but his race is utterly insignificant. In this particular setting, the only impact that race has on the character is in the realm of vanity- and while whoever wrote the story might have preferences about their character, the message of the story would not be impacted by their inability to be whatever race they are, the same way living in a different town of about the same size wouldn't change anything. Casting them as a hispanic teen as opposed to a white one doesn't change who they are. Claiming that it does is actually a bit racist.

Identifying a character with their race without considering why their race is relevant to the story, or to the character themselves, is racist in its own way. Racial identity exists in our world today because of a long history of racism, stereotyping, and its remaining relevance to a person's country of origin. Moving into alternate worlds or even the future of ours, you have to consider that the only real differences between different races are physical appearance and resistance to ultraviolet radiation*, and unless you've given a character a reason to care that they're a white, redheaded, freckled girl from NewYork 2300 AD, there's no significant reason why they can't be a dark native girl from the same place.

Race is one facet of a person, the same way your hometown or your favorite color is a part of you. For some people changing it will change their entire identity. For others, it might change the scarf hanging in their closet.

So, is making everyone who's race is insignificant to them white the answer? No. If a character's race doesn't matter, a white character can be black, a native can be asian- anything can be anything, as long as the actor can present every facet of the character that -does- matter. It's always nice when a movie can follow the author's vision to the letter, but if a finnish actor does a better job than the prerequisite asian guy and the race doesn't matter to the character, you're only crippling the final presentation for appearances if you're going to demand visual authenticity.

*I understand that there are other disease resistances and complex genetic separations between human races. The key point is that there aren't any clear, scientifically proven differences in mental capacity or physical ability that aren't related to culture, that would change who a person is if they were raised under the exact same circumstances.
  • Listening to: Rex Duodecim Angelus
  • Reading: My Draft and Homestuck
Considering my last journal was technically from February, I thought it was about time for an update.

So, as my prettymuchfirsteverfanart uploads recently have made obvious, I've been reading Homestuck. I read through the entire archive (and admittedly skimmed a lot of the troll dialogue because the grammar nazi in me was having fits reading so much of those unique styles at once) and I'm now up to date- and a big fan! I actually have another pair of sketches of Rose and John sitting in my sketchbook that I need to scan, hopefully later today or tomorrow.

I feel the need to mention that I'm in love with the HS soundtracks, and in particular my favourite song is called Rex Duodecim Angelus… . If you're into chiptunes or experimental/electronic music I suggest checking out a few of the hundred songs written for this webcomics / animation /game series on the official Bandcamp page when you get a chance.

Homestuck obsession aside, I've spent a lot of this summer working on my book (almost finished with my latest round of editting!) and I'm pretty excited about that. Over six years in the making, this book is kind of my life's work and if I manage to get it published you can bet that I'll post something about it here.

Also, RUINZ. If anyone watching me is still unaware, Ruinz Online is my brainchild and the first major project of DragoonLagoon ( , the creative collective consisting of myself, santheas, and EtherCrow - with the assistance of Khrysteen, LollyxBeans and another associate dragoon who may or may not have a dA account (Tay, lemme know if you have one!)

Ruinz is a focused-plot play-by-post roleplay community set in the sci-fi city of Darkell. You get to play as two characters - a human who ended up on Darkell Island, away from the rest of the world, because of an offer from SparkFire, and a physical AI who's designated as your human character's partner. For more info:

So that's what I've been up to lately! A lot and little at the same time. ;)
  • Listening to: Rex Duodecim Angelus
  • Reading: My Draft and Homestuck
1. For each of the 10 first people answering this journal, I will put their avatar and the three deviations I like most from their gallery on the list!

2. If you answer, you have to do the same in your journal, putting the tagger on the first place. The idea of this is not to get a free feature, it is to spread art around for everyone! [I don't really care if you do]

1. :iconyart:
2. :iconjason-de-lepee: Shadow wallpaper by Jason-de-LEpee Night of the Hunter by Jason-de-LEpee Jason 'Alchemist' Downs by Jason-de-LEpee
3. :iconinsanesanity813: Scales and Saphires... by InsaneSanity813 Metal Forests pendants by InsaneSanity813 :thumb309119158:
  • Listening to: Britt Nicole - Welcome to the Show
  • Reading: My draft
  • Drinking: The third can of coke before noon

The Elation and Terror of Writing

Journal Entry: Sun Feb 5, 2012, 9:02 AM

An hour ago, give or take, I accomplished something that anyone can and relatively few do. I finished writing a novel- not just any novel, mind you, but the novel I wrote my first draft for when I was fourteen. It was the third novel I had ever attempted, and the first one to so completely captivate me with the characters who lived inside those pages and thrived inside my mind that even when I put it aside for two full years without reading it, touching it, or trying to write it I still wanted to get back to it.

I couldn't give you the exact number because of a hundred late nights of thiry-second inspiration that ended in "do not save changes to document1," but there have been approximately 13 draft of this book until now. Three of those are full drafts, from the beginning to the end of the story, and any others that made the list were over two pages long. I will never write another complete draft of this book if I have any say in it, though I may edit every word in the draft until I've essentially done the same thing. I have discovered something, in my adventures as an amateur novelist.

1- Writing a book is easy the first time.

The first draft of my novel was longer than the one I finished now. It was 312 pages, 183,000 words, and it took me three months of addicted, sleep deprived writing to finish.

It sucked.

This is of course my opinion long after the fact. At the time it was the best thing since air, and I could not go a conversation with some random person without mentioning I had written a novel. I'm glad at this point that very few of those people ever had the chance to read it, because the writings of a fourteen year old- even at the head of her class and with a number of short stories under her belt- are less than unimpressive to someone who has faced the creativity wrecking, writer's block emporium otherwise known and grade 12, university level English.

It didn't take me until grade 12 to realize it sucked though. While I did try to have my book published at the time I finished my first draft, the emails I sent went entirely unreturned, and nobody was even slightly interested in my story. Despite the logical fallacy that existed in assuming it must be my horrible, as of yet unread writing keeping people away like a hoard of radioactive hyenas, I assumed the worst. With all of the best intentions, I wrote another draft.

That draft took a year. I had to make meticulous notes to remember what had actually happened, which facts about the characters I changed, and if I had explained how or why such and such had occurred. Even when the draft was finished, I hated it immediately, and started on the third. This one reached the end quickly because I skipped most things, getting bored with writing the same story, and... it was more of an outline, all told.

Any time I tried to write the same story in full, after the first, was painful. It was boring. I told it once- why did I need to write it again? I understood it was for the quality, but my creativity wasn't jumping on that bandwagon.

2- Writing for an audience of one or less is hard.

By one or less, I mean yourself.

When I wrote the first book and managed thirty pages in two days, my friends wanted to read it. Having no particular ambition at the time, I obliged. They loved it. I blame our collective bad taste on age, familiarity and inexperience- but that's another topic altogether. The important thing that I took away from sharing that was their desire to read more. I had some belief that this book was good, even if it was only for my friends, and that much made me want to write more of it.

When I finished the first draft, they were no longer interested. Much as I didn't want to write the story twice, nobody wanted to read it twice. As a result, I was writing the improved version for an audience of one- myself – and my audience was not interested. It felt like there was no point.

This most recent draft has only come as far as it did because now that I'm in college, I have new friends who have never read my story and they have become my new audience. Their interest has also renewed my flickering hopes of ever being published and having an audience that doesn't fit around my kitchen table.

3- How to Write and How to Get Published books are garbage.

Because I wrote a book and my parents support my unrealistic dreams, the year I finished my first draft I collected about seven of these. They all contradict each other and I can summarize the introduction of every single one in six words:

       Want to write a novel? Don't.

Here's my How-to instructions:

       Want novel advice? No you don't.

Writing is a creative field, and as such there are few solid rules. The only thing that you can possibly learn from these books are formatting guidelines and industry procedures that you honestly ought to look for on the internet, where they'll be up to date and you can check the comments underneath the post to see if anyone's calling them inaccurate.

All of that aside, novel writing is different for everyone. I know two other people who have written, but not yet published, novels of their own and they probably wouldn't agree with me on some of the points above. A novel, and especially a novel that one invests something in and comes back to over the course of six years, is a very personal thing. It's a story that you have put so much into, and care so much about, that any label someone else tries to place on it and any description someone may try to attach to it will probably strike you as horribly off mark, be it about the process or the finished work. Which brings me to the last point.

4- It's NEVER finished.

I will never be satisfied with my book. I have come to accept that in a painful way that falls somewhere between having separation anxiety and repeatedly stabbing myself in the face. Allow me to explain.

Editing a book is a frustrating thing. You have to weigh the value of each aspect and decide if it's important enough to belong, check every detail to make sure the door that was white in chapter one isn't red in chapter nine, and watch your characters to make sure that they don't have subtle psychotic breakdowns because you wrote one particular scene at two o'clock in the morning and forgot that little Jimmy probably wouldn't commit first degree murder after getting a C on his test (it would be more like accidental manslaughter).

Even then, there are countless grammatical and spelling rules to check for, and conventions which you have to formally abandon in the name of style and because your favourite author has never used them. There's the slang you used that doesn't strictly belong in your setting, but which doesn't have a local equivalent, and that word that you used twelve times in the same paragraph.

It's mind numbing, and there is a point where you have to put your foot down and say "no more!" This, I would imagine, is why there are typos in my father's copy of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit.

Thus, I am elated that I have managed to finish an acceptable 'final-rough' draft of my novel- and I am terrified that I have to start editing it. If my next post is a mind-bending retelling of The Elder Scrolls tomb Wabbajack, you need not ask yourself why.

  • Listening to: Britt Nicole - Welcome to the Show
  • Reading: My draft
  • Drinking: The third can of coke before noon

College in Nine Days and Arcana+

Journal Entry: Thu Aug 19, 2010, 8:03 PM
Everything's sorted out now! Sorry I didn't update you guys sooner.

So, I'm going to college in a week to study Animation, staying in res, and excited about it! After all of the emo-ness of this year, getting into a new place ought to be exciting. I have all of my stuff, and my only problem right now is contacting my res roommate- because she's apparently at camp, which makes life 'interesting' but hey, nothing's perfect. Hopefully we get a chance to figure out who's bringing what, but if all else fails there are stores and there is storage, right? She still seems nice, and her likes list on facebook is almost identical to mine, so if all goes well we should get along well. :3

Also, Arcana+! Me and my good friends IoSaotome and EtherCrow have started a new RP forum, found at . It's a magic-school roleplay with my usual over-abundance of forum features. If you're interested, registration is presently open and will be until we get a decent size memberlist.

I need to do more journals.

Journal Entry: Sat May 22, 2010, 5:43 PM
I never journal. Ahh. Well.

Anyway! I have my college stuff all sorted out now. =3 I'm going to be going for animation in the fall assuming I pass English (I think I'd have to skip my exam and the remainder of class to do that at this point) and manage an average over 75. Yay. =3

Life is going okay. School sucks- I'm in there everyday with most people I don't know or who don't like me, sitting in classes which have nothing to do with my program next year which I'm only taking because our failing educational system has decided we need to have 30 classes to graduate, no matter what they are, and I realize and understand that it won't change. But on the other hand- I graduate on the 24th of June, and then it's alll over and I move onto college.

I know I haven't posted much art this year, but between senior year, having a job during school, college applications, graduation preparations, and trying not to go insane I've mostly only doodled anything that I didn't find worthy. Next year hopefully I will able to post my class work~ If I have access to a scanner... *odd thoughts*

Well, we'll see what happens. To my few watchers who are still around and / or actually care, I hope I can be more productive and draw some stuff that doesn't suck after June! =3 And hopefully I'll get some friends and be happy enough to POST things that don't suck more than once every five months.

That's all for now.


College and Such

Journal Entry: Sun Jan 31, 2010, 10:16 PM
So I applied to five colleges for Animation. One which is like, world reknowned, a second which follows the exact same program as the first to a T, and three others which are decent.

So far?


(on the conditions that I submit the portfolio and finish highschool)

*dances around in circles and screams like a girl for once*

NaNo's Coming!

Journal Entry: Tue Oct 27, 2009, 12:24 PM


Best Friends
Old Account

Starting on Sunday, me and number of other people will be writing dangerously =D According to the office of letters and light, anyway.

I've decided I'm going to write a story based on iAntivirus and will be posting it on iAV as well as on here.

Short journal is short, but main point is excitement and the fact that I think I'm a bit less sick than yesterday.

Also, I've added a box to my dA profile page (check down on the left side) which, once November begins, will be showing off my widgets and my word count, as well as a word-war (comparison chart) between me, Khrysteen, PumaConrad, and DrowDagger.

Only a few days to go~

NaNoWriMo 2009

Journal Entry: Wed Oct 7, 2009, 3:26 PM
I'm feeling incredibly emo right now and so won't bother telling you depressing things. Instead, I'm going to make this journal short but sweet on the topic of NaNoWriMo, seeing as it starts in less than a month.

NaNoWriMo: Contest to write 50,000 words of a story between November 1-30.

I won last year using Circle of the Sun.

What story should I work on or start this year?

1- Sendrask (formerly FMF) [no dA postings will be made]
2- Circle of the Sun
3- Mirror of Oblivion
4- Empire's Dawn
5- unrevealed iAnti related story

Post which and why, if there is a why. Comments like 'I like the title' are valid.

Also, anyone else in on it this year? Link me to your NaNo page so I can add you. Anyone else who wants to get in on it, sign up at this

My NaNo page:…