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Survival Of The Fitness #4 by schizmatic Survival Of The Fitness #4 by schizmatic
My favorite historical exercise machine is the Gymnasticon, which was like the first stationary bicycle. Its name comes from the Greek roots "gymnos" meaning "naked," + "nasti" meaning "nasty," + "con", meaning "You just spent $300 on a machine you're only going to use once, then stuff in the basement storage room. Self-delusional dumb-ass."

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:iconintegratethesurface:
IntegrateTheSurface Featured By Owner May 20, 2017
My mom has a few of these "modern torture devices" that she hasn't used. But the funny thing is, treadmills and stationary bikes have computer screens on them so you can surf the web and listen to music while exercising. Now, that's a little less painful!
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:iconapiapicka:
ApiApicka Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
There's something wrong with people.
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:iconquantuminnovator:
QuantumInnovator Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2017
Hundreds of years ago, exercise was normal for most people. Now it seems exercise is torture for most people.

I am glad your creations are still popular. I feel like I have lost my edge. Only one person commented on my newest image. I thought given its subject matter, it would have gotten more praise or condemnation. I feel like a speck of dirt in an aviary. I can be clearly seen, but almost no one notices me. Maybe I should get rid of some of my deviations to make more room for yours.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2017  Professional General Artist
And thousands of years ago, if you ate too much without exercising, you became dinner for a predator. A "fit"-ting fate.

And in an aviary, it's better to be a speck of dirt than a heap of poop. X}
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:iconjohn-martin:
John-Martin Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
"Walk like a man, talk like a man, my son"!
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2017  Professional General Artist
"And shriek everything you know in writhing pants-pooping agony like a man!"
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:iconjohn-martin:
John-Martin Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Like a man at the dentist's.
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:iconmrtenso:
MrTenso Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2017
Nobody expects the spanish inquisition! And their indeterminate number of instruments!
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2017  Professional General Artist
Say all we want about the Spanish Inquisition, not a single victim was a fatty by the time they were done with them.
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:iconel-fracasor:
El-Fracasor Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Impressive comparisons :clap:
You may add the brazen bull and the treadmill.
Both of them make you really hot ; in the exhausting way, not in the sexy way :D
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Professional General Artist
The brazen bull would be like a relaxing sauna compared to the treadmill. X)
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:icongoeliath:
goeliath Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
THE HORROR!!
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Professional General Artist
BETTER HEALTH IS MURDERING ME!!
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:icongoeliath:
goeliath Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
NOT THE KALE
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:iconcatsupeye:
catsupeye Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017
judas chair it hurts just see it!! :headache: 
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Professional General Artist
I know, it's awful. And I feel the same way about the StairMaster. X)
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:iconcatsupeye:
catsupeye Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017
i hope they dont ever use in schools!  Dunce (I really shouldn't find this) Funny :pointlaugh 
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:iconkiborg-graph:
Kiborg-Graph Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
My favourite exercise machine is the floor. It's like a multi-purpose exercise machine; you can do push-ups, sit-ups, knee-bending, and beyond on the floor! :dummy:
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Professional General Artist
But just using the floor requires having a really hard-to-get accessory: willpower. X)
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:iconkiborg-graph:
Kiborg-Graph Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh, I have the best motivator: a slipped vertebral disc. If I don't exercise whatsoever for a week or so, my spine will give me simply epic back pain, and the only remedy against it is a hearty exercise session, prescribed by my doctor. And about 90% of these exercises involve the use of floor. So there's my motivation, and willpower. :D 
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Professional General Artist
Sorry to hear that. I'd definitely take pain to avoid even more of it. Instead of "No Pain, No Gain" it should be "No Pain, Then Greater Pain."
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:iconkiborg-graph:
Kiborg-Graph Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It's more like: "The more pain, the less pain". And yes, I know that's a bloody paradox, but it still works.
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