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Cardiopulmonary Resurrection by schizmatic Cardiopulmonary Resurrection by schizmatic
This is why I won't be a hero trying to revive you if you ever stop breathing and your heart stops beating. You're welcome. Everyone.

Image: schemantics.com/files/cardiopu… Page: schemantics.com/comics/1028

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:iconboesemani:
BOESEMANI Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2016
I'd just take the wallet and run.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2016  Professional General Artist
CPR ≠ Corpse Pilfer & Run X)
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:iconelectricgecko:
ElectricGecko Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2016
I wish they warned more of us about this.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2016  Professional General Artist
National health boards always have to wait until somebody dies -- then returns from the dead to feast on the living -- before they take action.
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:iconjohn-martin:
John-Martin Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Don't make jokes like that. There are people out there who are ready to believe that.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2016  Professional General Artist
I know, you can never overestimate the cluelessness of the Common Moron.
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:iconjohn-martin:
John-Martin Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Well said.
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:iconmrtenso:
MrTenso Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2016
And don't forget check his wallet before.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2016  Professional General Artist
If the victim has money and lives, you get a reward. If the victim has money and dies, it's yours to take. Win-Win!
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:iconcatsupeye:
catsupeye Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2016
blegggg id want kiss a zombie better than ded person!  :shudder: 
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2016  Professional General Artist
Hey, at least a zombie would actually show some passion. Well, most of it hunger, but that still counts! X)
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:iconthesckass20:
Thesckass20 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2016
You  forgot to dont do nothing  as you record with your phone to youtube
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2016  Professional General Artist
And with any luck, you can record yourself being physically violated in jail for criminal negligence!
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:iconthereptiliangeneral:
TheReptilianGeneral Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2016  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I think you have reanimating the dead with the powers of necromancy and saving a unconicous person mixed up. ^^;
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2016  Professional General Artist
No, no, no, that's exactly what the zombies want you to believe! They -- wait, you must be one of them...! YOU'RE ONE OF THEMMMMM!!
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:iconthereptiliangeneral:
TheReptilianGeneral Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2016  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I'm only a Zombie during the mornings... And during the end of the day. 
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2016  Professional General Artist
Try energizing yourself with a brain muffin -- I mean, bran muffin. ZOMBI!!
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:iconthereptiliangeneral:
TheReptilianGeneral Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2016  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
lol XD
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December 2, 2016
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