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Arboreal Profiling by schizmatic Arboreal Profiling by schizmatic
You can't just judge a tree by what it has on its head. Yes, some Christmas trees do kill people by burning down their houses, but only a fringe minority. Say NO to "bigotree."

Image: schemantics.com/files/arboreal… Page: schemantics.com/comics/1036

Schemantics: A Webcomic Of Intelligent Weirdness - Store - Archive
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:iconashreila:
Ashreila Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2017  Student General Artist
Can I still hang up pinecone bird feeders?
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:iconel-fracasor:
El-Fracasor Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You forgot to mention the carnivorous tree, that accidentally eat the objects dropped nearby...and the people touching them, occasionally.
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:iconapiapicka:
ApiApicka Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Everything is politicized now. Even Skyrim mods.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2016  Professional General Artist
Alduin the dragon is going to claim that "world-eating" is just as valid a dietary choice as being vegan. X)
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:iconapiapicka:
ApiApicka Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
But when you eat the world, you eat also animals and people!
Busted!
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2016  Professional General Artist
Alduin would argue that's just like vegans "accidentally" eating butter and eggs in baked goods. It doesn't count!
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:iconapiapicka:
ApiApicka Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, even vegetarians swallow germs with water or air...
World is cruel.
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2016  Professional General Artist
Yeah, I love reminding vegans when they drink alcohol, they're eating germ poop. That counts!
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:iconquantuminnovator:
QuantumInnovator Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016
So merely adding a star to a tree makes it "radicalized militant fundamentalist"?

Did you know that a school in Seattle called Easter Eggs "spring spheres"?

What is happening to classic holiday traditions, and why? Why does the minority of people have the majority of power?
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016  Professional General Artist
I think the saying is now, whoever shouts the loudest and pouts the longest, laughs last.
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:iconjeditoby:
jeditoby Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016
Big O trees, of course, are bigger, mechanized versions of the same. 
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016  Professional General Artist
That could lead to a tragic gang war between Ents and Big O trees. Bark-on-bark violence.
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:iconjeditoby:
jeditoby Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016
What a conflagration that would start! 
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016  Professional General Artist
"Yo, we put the TREE in sTREEt, Birch!"
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:iconjeditoby:
jeditoby Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2016
"Best step off before I break a bough on you! Do NOT make me drop this baby!"
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:iconmrtenso:
MrTenso Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016
Fuuu I admit wasting 3 minutes searching the meanings of the words....

More"-ing"y phrase that I have never written. 
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016  Professional General Artist
Hehe, that's politics for you. The world gets more and more "-ing"y every day.
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:iconluxx-fuxx:
LuxX-FuxX Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016
//Bigotree//
I'm dying in this christmas-themed fire
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016  Professional General Artist
Shame on me. "Bigotree" is practically a hate crime against the English language. X)
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:iconluxx-fuxx:
LuxX-FuxX Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016
I still adore that crime xD
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016  Professional General Artist
And I support your right to love that hate -- wait, now I'm completely confused... X)
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:iconluxx-fuxx:
LuxX-FuxX Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016
I am too xDD
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:iconcatsupeye:
catsupeye Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016
hope this tree dont explode!!  Christmas Tree AvatarAHHHH NO  
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:iconschizmatic:
schizmatic Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016  Professional General Artist
Stores have Christmas In July sales, so they'd probably just market exploding trees as Fourth Of July In December. X}
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