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Arboreal Profiling
By schizmatic   |   Watch
12 24 324 (1 Today)
Published: December 21, 2016
You can't just judge a tree by what it has on its head. Yes, some Christmas trees do kill people by burning down their houses, but only a fringe minority. Say NO to "bigotree."

Image: schemantics.com/files/arboreal… Page: schemantics.com/comics/1036

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Comments (20)
Ashreila's avatar
Ashreila|Student General Artist
Can I still hang up pinecone bird feeders?
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El-Fracasor's avatar
El-Fracasor|Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You forgot to mention the carnivorous tree, that accidentally eat the objects dropped nearby...and the people touching them, occasionally.
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ApiApicka's avatar
ApiApicka|Hobbyist General Artist
Everything is politicized now. Even Skyrim mods.
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schizmatic's avatar
schizmatic|Professional General Artist
Alduin the dragon is going to claim that "world-eating" is just as valid a dietary choice as being vegan. X)
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ApiApicka's avatar
ApiApicka|Hobbyist General Artist
But when you eat the world, you eat also animals and people!
Busted!
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schizmatic's avatar
schizmatic|Professional General Artist
Alduin would argue that's just like vegans "accidentally" eating butter and eggs in baked goods. It doesn't count!
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QuantumInnovator's avatar
So merely adding a star to a tree makes it "radicalized militant fundamentalist"?

Did you know that a school in Seattle called Easter Eggs "spring spheres"?

What is happening to classic holiday traditions, and why? Why does the minority of people have the majority of power?
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schizmatic's avatar
schizmatic|Professional General Artist
I think the saying is now, whoever shouts the loudest and pouts the longest, laughs last.
Reply  ·  
jeditoby's avatar
Big O trees, of course, are bigger, mechanized versions of the same. 
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schizmatic's avatar
schizmatic|Professional General Artist
That could lead to a tragic gang war between Ents and Big O trees. Bark-on-bark violence.
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jeditoby's avatar
What a conflagration that would start! 
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schizmatic's avatar
schizmatic|Professional General Artist
"Yo, we put the TREE in sTREEt, Birch!"
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MrTenso's avatar
Fuuu I admit wasting 3 minutes searching the meanings of the words....

More"-ing"y phrase that I have never written. 
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schizmatic's avatar
schizmatic|Professional General Artist
Hehe, that's politics for you. The world gets more and more "-ing"y every day.
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LuxX-FuxX's avatar
//Bigotree//
I'm dying in this christmas-themed fire
Reply  ·  
schizmatic's avatar
schizmatic|Professional General Artist
Shame on me. "Bigotree" is practically a hate crime against the English language. X)
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LuxX-FuxX's avatar
I still adore that crime xD
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schizmatic's avatar
schizmatic|Professional General Artist
And I support your right to love that hate -- wait, now I'm completely confused... X)
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catsupeye's avatar
hope this tree dont explode!!  Christmas Tree AvatarAHHHH NO  
Reply  ·  
schizmatic's avatar
schizmatic|Professional General Artist
Stores have Christmas In July sales, so they'd probably just market exploding trees as Fourth Of July In December. X}
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