one candid night and a nice cheeseboard
February that endless landscape elusive
the evanescent headfuck of dawn—
I could reach God(or someone)
on the landline
I do not sleep—in sleep(as in waking)
my body is my enemy
the pitiful morsel to a cruel man's
On cold nights I do not turn the heating on
to the greedy shrine of the gas metre.
I believe in love, and communism
I want my name on the list— I believe in love—
the first night in weeks that I slept
I was running like a flock of birds I was running
into the sky and dreaming(the pimpled skin of
an orange I wounded the waiting)
that a man I had once loved ran after me
calling my name like a word that could be
spoken(I knew better— but I still wanted
to answer him)
That fever was a different breed
a solemn seed of scraping
bled out the pith for one candid night
and a nice cheeseboard
Take You Out Back!
For the gun, I could've lived
I was afraid of what I loved
moon over the flooded river in spring I ran
for the mountains the crack of God who
teaches men what to feel
pink in my bones where I felt the leash
successfully traded one prison
for the next.
eagerly ate my words
waiting for a new coming
(isn't someone else going to do the right thing
isn't someone else going to do the right thing
isn't someone else going to—)
Im up in that pulpit
talking about the way it feels to be waist deep
in sea water, working tables.
Rise with the sun see the veins of your arms
Go to work. Go to work. Go to work.
mopping up a child's piss at 9 AM
picturing pennies dribbling
into my pathetic outstretched hands
this labour is the lover's life I led(unhallowed)
In the light I looked the same as you.
What's over? it goes on forever—
our dreams clutched
in the sweaty hands and whimsy
of rich men.
(if you want them back
you know what to do)
insoluble dream of living well
i started writing this in late january and finished in march, no idea why it took me that long anyway eat the rich