The Stephen King Drinking Game (We All Float!)
|2 min read
sbkMulletMan's avatar
By sbkMulletMan   |   
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:iconwutplz: thatguywiththeglasses.com/vide… :iconballoonseesplz:

I have now actually done this.

:iconspidersplz::iconsaysplz:Oh, Good GOD Man, that's been known to KILL people!
1 Shot for the story taking place in Maine (might as well just take this one as the DVD is loading up)
1 Shot for the Monster's origins never being explained (at least in the movies)
1 Shot for the 1-Dimensional Bully with no redeeming values
1 Shot for the same Bully characters seeing Violence & Murder as the only answer
1 Shot for Rednecks
1 Shot for Abusive Assholes
1 Shot for Alcoholics (sadly, the last 3 are often separate, even if they're all rolled into one)
1 Shot for a disappointing or anti-climactic payoff at the end (A SPIDER?!)
1 Shot for the bland or disappointing ending (so his wife's fine. Whoopdeedoo)

And I even took the liberty to throw in my own shots.

1 Shot for "The Magic Negro" (King may have invented this one and it sure gave Morgan Freeman a Career)
1 Shot for the knitted friendships formed by the protagonists
1 Shot if the story ties in to The Dark Tower series (A Toast to The Turtle!)
1 Shot for something that's supposed to be scary, but just ends up stupid or funny (the dog)
1 Shot for a Crappy, Unfaithful or Disappointing Television rendition of an otherwise good King story (I think only 3 films may be exempt from this rule, and IT isn't one of them, even if it is fun!)
2 Shots "Just for the Hell of It" during the beloved Library Scene (WA-HA!)
And 1 final shot just in case we may have forgotten anything!  

Thankfully, this movie was so long, I had time to recover in between shots, especially later in the movie, so I only really got half-drunk.

And compared to how I was a year ago, that's one hell of an improvement!  This time, I was laughing my ass off and having fun!

...why are you all spinning?
Comments55
anonymous's avatar
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Pinkiepierock5's avatar
you all forgot to mention take one shot for the child who's psychic for reasons that are never explained
indigobunny99's avatar
indigobunny99Hobbyist General Artist
What if you're under 21? Can we instead drink soda or something?
HeroicRebellion's avatar
I wonder how it would work with Kubrick's Shining
AskMerisstheSkeletal's avatar
You know what? I'll make my own version
SplashyLove's avatar
I loved this episode! :heart:
TranquilityBass's avatar
TranquilityBassHobbyist General Artist
1 shot for the crazy preacher or overly enthusiastic Bible-thumper who's invariably a violent hypocrite.
Comradeburnetko's avatar
Another shot if said hypocrite dies.
TranquilityBass's avatar
TranquilityBassHobbyist General Artist
Two shots if said hypocrite dies as a result of his/her overt hypocrisy or in an ironic twist on the professed prejudice.
Linkzilla's avatar
It came on today - I'm glad to know this is here.
ShaD-23's avatar
ShaD-23Hobbyist General Artist
I'm going to go watch Storm of the Century. Be sure to have a liver transplant on standby for me.
Burnning-devil21's avatar
Burnning-devil21Hobbyist Digital Artist
1 shot for a crack against Christianity. ((fine i guess we'll have to wait fr another reason why religion is bad -pours back shot into bottle))
ResponsibleAtheist's avatar
I hope you won´t watch Carrie any time soon. You´ll die of the ammount of Alcohol.
Burnning-devil21's avatar
Burnning-devil21Hobbyist Digital Artist
the old on or the new one? because the old one was basically the whole movie is one shot, be it a cery ,very, very big one
NinjagirlBecky's avatar
what about flash backs
rorking111's avatar
you can't forget flashbacks
Mr-Cryuga's avatar
Mr-CryugaHobbyist Writer
Do you want alcohol poisoning?
lcpanther's avatar
After watching this movie YES!!!
HMVAdvanced's avatar
Good god that's like 5-6 shots for just the first 10 minutes!
Edgeworth1001's avatar
Now all we need is the Lifetime Movie Drinking Game.
DaGrimmReepa's avatar
I think one of the earliest examples of the Magical Negro can be seen in Song of the South, which came out in 1946 (before King's time). I recommend you watch it, it's so racist that it actually transcends offensiveness.
dinomax214's avatar
oh, i'm well aware of song of the south. even Disney itself refuses to acknowledge it's existence.
Gregory66613's avatar
Gregory66613Hobbyist Writer
take a shot if there is an Author in your story (Bag of Bones and Tommyknockers)
anonymous's avatar
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