SatomiSparks's avatar
131 Watchers13.9K Page Views11 Deviations
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  • Deviant for 6 years
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Super Llama: Llamas are awesome! (41)
My Bio
I drink too much, I smoke too much*, I swear too much, and I like really cute stuff. My grammar is 92% impeccable, my vocabulary is 87% accurate, 36% of the time my jokes are actually funny, and my statistics are 99.9% arbitrary.

On DA I like all sorts of things, but my own stuff is all TG-related. My picture caps are pretty innocent but I have a longer, more explicit story in progress that's not safe for DeviantArt (that will most likely never get finished).

I didn't create any of the artwork I use for my captions (I can barely draw a smiley face). All of the writing is my own. Source materials are linked in the descriptions. I do my work in GIMP2.

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*As of March 2018 I have successfully quit smoking

Favourite Games
Mostly RPGs, strategy, survival, management sims, and the occasional survival/horror for a change of pace. I like very few shooters, but there are some exceptions.
Favourite Gaming Platform
PC, SNES
Tools of the Trade
beer and cigarettes
Other Interests
Anime and manga, but who here doesn't like that?

Statistics

Page Views13.9K
Deviations11
Watchers131
Watching40
Favourites3
Comments Made118
Comments Received36

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131 Deviants
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41 Badges
Llama: Llamas are awesome! (1)
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Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)
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0 badges sent, 41 badges received:
Llama: Llamas are awesome!
Llama: Llamas are awesome!
Llama: Llamas are awesome!
Llama: Llamas are awesome!
Llama: Llamas are awesome!

Comments

:star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Impact

I started to write a story similar to this on a different site a couple years ago but I got carried away in scope and never stuck it out to the end unfortunately. I love tg-transformation stuff with some age-regression thrown in. So anyways, yeah I really liked this story.

Let's see, I've never done a critique before...

Vision: This is subject matter I like a lot. TG and transformation stories are really great, but the age regression gives it that innocence of childhood aspect, giving it a little more depth.

Originality: A simple change catalyst (that wasn't even divulged from what I noticed) that opened up a lot of possibilities. Having to readjust to gender as well as age changes creates a lot of opportunity for adventures and trying new things.

Technique: I like the fairly loose line drawings, they fit the narrative well. As someone else mentioned though, the open mouths with filled-in throats made the uvulas almost look like snaggleteeth at times which was distracting. Other than that the style is very pleasant and carefree and works well with the story.

Impact: I know it was a short story, so character development is going to be limited, but it seems like Wrenni accepted and adjusted to her new position almost too readily. A little resistance along the way could provide an opportunity to beef up both characters' personalities a bit more (Maybe Wrenni could throw a hissy fit and get into little-kid time-out or some other kind of mild punishment). That said, the relationship between the two was really sweet and caring and gave me some warm fuzzies. Sis wasn't really condescending and didn't tease Wrenni too much, things that could easily hurt the feelings of a child dealing with a sudden amount of huge unfamiliar emotions.

Anyways, I really enjoy stories like this, and you did a good job. It seems it could be open for a sequel. It'd be interesting perhaps watching Wrenni aging at an accelerated rate in order to confront new coming-of-age obstacles, and Big Sis could graduate to become the close friend helping her through her teenaged years.

THose were some things I had been mulling around for my own story that I probably won't get to use, and thought I'd offer them up as some ideas either for this story or some future story that you're welcome to use or not.

Anyways, a sweet, lovely story that I really truly enjoyed. Keep up the great work!
Collab : TG AR Project 46
3 years later and I still love this to death!

While I love Maya I'm still Team Ema all the way. *ka-tonk!* She can Snackoo me any day.
Burgers n' Snackoos
Thank you! This was I think my 5th attempt and finally managed to do it.
SatomiSparks commented on Sera-fuku's profile
メイさん!

誕生日おめでとう!
SatomiSparks commented on SatomiSparks's profile
そのことないよ!時々仕事をしていて寝ています!^.~